Rosalind Wiseman was gracious enough to give us a sneak peek at the advice found in her new book, and we're kind enough to share. So, if you've ever found yourself in any of the following situations, Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads is the book for you:
Book Description
What happens to Queen Bees and Wannabes when they grow up?
Even the most well-adjusted moms and dads can experience peer pressure and conflicts with other adults that make them act like they’re back in seventh grade. In Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads, Rosalind Wiseman gives us the tools to handle difficult situations involving teachers and other parents with grace. Reassuring, funny, and unfailingly honest, Wiseman reveals:
• Why PTA meetings and Back-to-School nights tap into parents’ deepest insecurities
• How to recognize the archetypal moms and dads—from Caveman Dad to Hovercraft Mom
• How and when to step in and step out of your child’s conflicts with other children, parents, teachers, or coaches
• How to interpret the code phrases other parents use to avoid (or provoke) confrontation
• Why too many well-meaning dads sit on the sidelines, and how vital it is that they step up to the plate
• What to do and say when the playing field becomes an arena for people to bully and dominate other kids and adults
• How to have respectful yet honest conversations with other parents about sex and drugs when your values are in conflict
• How the way you handle parties, risky behavior, and academic performance affects your child
• How unspoken assumptions about race, religion, and other hot-button subjects sabotage parents’ ability to work together
Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads is filled with the kind of true stories that made Wiseman’s New York Times bestselling book Queen Bees & Wannabes impossible to put down. There are tales of hardworking parents with whom any of us can identify, along with tales of outrageously bad parents—the kind we all have to reckon with. For instance, what do you do when parents donate a large sum of money to a school and their child is promptly transferred into the honors program–while your son with better grades doesn’t make the cut? What about the mother who helps her daughter compose poison-pen e-mails to yours? And what do you say to the parent-coach who screams at your child when the team is losing? Wiseman offers practical advice on avoiding the most common parenting “land mines” and useful scripts to help you navigate difficult but necessary conversations.
Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads is essential reading for parents today. It offers us the tools to become wiser, more relaxed parents–and the inspiration to speak out, act according to our values, show humility, and set the kind of example that will make a real difference in our children’s lives.
Also available as a Random House AudioBook and as an eBook
Customer Reviews:
Uneven advice brings this book down.......2007-10-02
This book does contain some helpful information. I specifically appreciate the parts on decoding what others are saying and things you are to never say (like "I don't know what you're teaching your kids, but we teach ours to be polite"). I also really enjoyed the quotes from teachers, counselors, coaches and principals.
However, some of the suggestions for dealing with conflict boggle my mind. For instance, the author says if someone else schedules a birthday party on the same day as your child's party, you should call up the other parents, and suggest a joint party or give them the chance to "do the right thing," which is apparently for those parents to cancel/reschedule their child's party. I find this to be absurd, impractical, and potentially embarrassing to your child. First of all, if you are the one with the problem with the parties, you should reschedule your child's party. Why are you trying to make your problem their problem? Perhaps you could make a joint party work, but either that child wasn't invited to your child's party in the first place, or that child WAS invited but decided to have his own party. Either way, it doesn't bode well for a joint party. I think another suggestion was for the parents of both kids to send out a joint letter stating that they expect the kids to honor their first commitment to one of the parties. Again, I find this micromanaging and awkward.
There are other instances of this but I think you can get the idea. First she says don't micromanage your child's social life and then seems to suggest you do that very thing. There is helpful information here, just don't swallow everything without a little common sense.
Finding the Strength to Stand Up for Our Kids (and Stepkids).......2007-04-13
If you've ever tried to get involved in the PTA and wondered why you left feeling insecure about your abilities as a parent, winced at hearing a dad (or mom) comment loudly and negatively on the soccer abilities of 5-year-olds from the sidelines, or sat silently while the booster club is hijacked by a parent who's a bully, then you'll find much to appreciate in this book.
A never-ending series of power plays among parents - the dramas that all of us see every day - are dramatically affecting our children and their schools, playing fields, and life skill development. Wiseman spotlights parents who live out their own insecurities through their kids. They push their children to take a whirlwind of classes, load them up with extra-curricular activities, and fret that it's not enough to gain admittance to the Ivy League. So it goes one step further - to bullying school administrators, blackballing other kids, and swooping in to rescue our children from the lessons they desperately need to learn on their own.
It's no surprise to see her expertly slice and dice the undercurrents surrounding a Queen Bee Mom and her posse, as they turn a cold shoulder to the new parent stumbling into the book fair planning committee. Wiseman also wrote Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other Realities of Adolescence, the landmark New York Times bestseller on relational aggression in girls.
Several personas - from Caveman Dad to Hovercraft Mom, flit through the pages. They're not labels per se - but tools that help us understand our own roles and behaviors.
There is no prissy-footing or tip-toeing around the big issues here. The book offers solid advice with scripts to help parents stand up and build a culture of civility and respect that helps all our children. She encourages parents to challenge the often aggressive, inappropriate, and plain over-the-top behavior exhibited by many parents today.
It's a field guide in handling uncomfortable conversations between parents and adults who care about children. For example, a dad overhears a couple of women calling his daughter a slut because of how she is dressed. For most parents - the options that immediately come to mind are to start a shouting match with the women, or to slink off in silence. In reality - the dad didn't like the way his daughter was dressed, and would like for her to dress differently - and was struggling in his relationship with her. Wiseman offers a scripted conversation to guide how the dad could approach these women, state what he overheard, and ask for the situation he'd like to see happen instead.
And the reader is not off the hook, either. Wiseman encourages all of us to reflect on our own behaviors and motivations, and consider how we can be part of a community that values its members, treats people with dignity, and supports our children. The conversational and warm tone make for easy reading. Although the book talks directly to parents, there is much of value here for stepparents, educators, and others who care about children and their well-being. As a former youth worker who endured more than a few parental barrages - I found much of comfort and value in this book. As a stepmom to three, I saw some of my own experiences and observations mirrored, picked up a boatload of helpful advice, and considered my own attitudes and behavior.
I met author Rosalind Wiseman during the National Book Festival in Washington, DC last year. I was impressed with her energy and commitment to helping us all build positive communities for our children. When she inscribed her autograph in my book, she added "Stay strong!" We all need to hear that.
Look out, queen bee moms/kingpin dads! We're on to you!.......2007-01-31
Again, Rosalind Wiseman is giving us moms, and women in general, the information necessary to go up against the queen bee moms and kingpin dads out there! And I laughed when reading one of the negative reviews, because I can guarantee you that the information in this book hit a nerve with that particular reviewer...buzzzzzzzzzzz. Thanks, Ms. Wiseman! Knowledge is power.
A must read for every parent.......2007-01-12
Although, I only have a four and a two year old. I know that the time will come when I have to handle certain situations that are described in her book. Like what to do when my daughter doesnt want to invite a girl to her party, or when my son thinks that he got a grade he didnt deserve. Although some of the situations wont happen to me, because I live in a small town, but I think that this book will help every involved parent that wants the best for their kids.
Good encouragement about standing up for yourself and your kids.......2006-12-25
The author gives good examples about how to confront another parent. The best part of the book for me was where she points out that apologies are important, and suggests how to ask for an apology and to give a sincere apology yourself.
Customer Reviews:
Broad & insightful.......2007-08-11
Opening with a tour-de-force of insightful simplicity, Beyond The Goal goes on to explore many aspects of business activity with Dr. Goldratt's custom disciplined thinking. Though I have not come through his excellent speaking with a clear understanding of the Theory Of Constraints, I heard many other ideas and had a pleasant time doing so. He covers a straight-forward process for implementing TOC within an hesitant organisation, as well as providing a brilliant technique for validating any effort to apply new technology in business.
A clear explanation.......2007-05-14
This e-book reminds us Goldratt's literary style: clear, brief and precise.
After reading/listening to this lecture, I fell like I could run any facility in the world far better than the current management does.
This author delivers such a clear vision that by the moment we close the book we could train an audience on this subject.
Excellent value.......2007-03-21
This is my first, but won't be my last, experience with Coach in a Box. Dr. G. is in his usual form (obviously speaking to a live audience) but this material, in this form, is probably not for those uninitiated to TOC. An outstanding supplement to William Dettmer's Systems book on TOC.
Sensational.......2006-03-20
A straight forward explination of this theory. This CD has really helped me to fully understand the power of his theories and has explained to me how this can be implemented into a business. If your interested in improving your business and your efficiencies this is a must hear.
Enlightment to TOC.......2006-03-11
In the goal we saw that there was a light at the end of the tunnel, or a bright blue sky above the "dark clouds of reality". Yet, I fully agree with those that have said that the explanations on TOC are clearer on the works of Dr. Goldratt's disciples.
But then you listen to this wonderful work and then you understand the philosophy behind TOC. He is inquisitive on the current reality to the point where you have to think hard, again and again to see the real constrains come about. No, its not phylosophy of science, because when you are just discerning through the clouds of reality, he hits you with the "show me the money!?!?", why are we even thinking this way if we are not going to get the benefits??!! and Im only in cd number 3 !!!
For those of you who have had some exposure to TOC and believe it can make a difference, I would recommended this cd book.
Book Description
What would legendary Boston Celtics coach and 16-time NBA champion Red Auerbach say is the most critical quality for a person to be successful? Would his advice differ from 10-time NCAA championship coach John Wooden's? What would each say to a young person just starting out in pursuit of their dreams? What is the best advice they were ever given?
It took author Christian Klemash more than two years of research, persistence, and original interviews, but now he's ready to pass on the best advice you'll ever get. Only the rare individual has had the opportunity to pick the brain of just one legendary sports coach—let alone thirty-four of the best sports coaches of all time. Klemash gives sports fans a once-in-a-lifetime chance to learn valuable life lessons from the most famous, intelligent, and victorious coaches ever. The legends span the sports world, from gold medal-winning gymnastics coach Bela Karolyi and three-time college football championship coach Tom Osborne to four-time World Series-winning baseball manager Joe Torre and hall-of-fame boxing trainer Angelo Dundee.
These coaches know how to teach top athletes about character and winning, how to manage pressure at crunch time, and how to bring out the best in their players when it matters most. How to Succeed in the Game of Life shares their insights into sports, life, and the most vital keys to sustain success.Featuring Exclusive Interviews with:
Red Auerbach, 16-time NBA World Champion
Bobby Bowden, College Football's All-Time Winningest Coach, 2-time National Champion
Scotty Bowman, 9-time Stanley Cup Champion
Bill Cowher, Super Bowl Champion
Tony Dungy, Super Bowl Champion
Dan Gable, 15-time NCCA Champion
April Heinrichs, Gold Medal Winning Coach of the U.S. Women’s Soccer Team
Bela Karolyi, The World’s Greatest Gymnastics Coach
Bill Parcells, 2-time Super Bowl Champion
Emanuel Steward, Boxing Trainer of 30 World Champions
Joe Torre, 4-time World Series Champion
Bill Walsh, 3-time Super Bowl Champion
Lenny Wilkens, NBA’s All-Time Winningest Coach, NBA Champion
John Wooden, 10-time NCAA Champion
And More!
Customer Reviews:
A Great Read.......2007-08-26
Wow!Could not put it down.An extraordinay self help book.Gave it to my kids they loved it.Don't miss this one
What a great read!.......2007-07-25
I took it on vacation with me and I couldn't put it down. A great book for aspiring athletes and coaches as well as your average Joe who works 9-5. The coaches discuss a variety of topics from their childhood to how they motivate their players. Any easy read for all ages.
Game of life.......2007-07-24
I've read through Game of Life and I enjoyed it very much. There are so many things to take from this book, not just into sports, but also some reflections on life. I would recommend this book to everybody.
Coaching advise from athletic coaches.......2007-06-27
A fun read, especially if yoiu're a sports fan. I read it in search of things that would help my own ability as a coach in my company. Much of it is light stuff but the easy read makes it fun nonetheless and there are few golden nuggets laced throughout the book.
Overcome Adversity.......2007-04-12
Anyone looking for inspiration, either for their own life or to share with others, will find a gold mine of quotes here. This book isn't just for sports fans.
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Aiming at Amazon: The NEW Business of Self Publishing, or How to Publish Books for Less, Sell Without Hassle, and Double Your Profit (or More) With Print on Demand and Book Marketing on Amazon.com
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How To Achieve Success.......2007-09-29
