Amazon.com
Lia Lee was born in 1981 to a family of recent Hmong immigrants, and soon developed symptoms of epilepsy. By 1988 she was living at home but was brain dead after a tragic cycle of misunderstanding, overmedication, and culture clash: "What the doctors viewed as clinical efficiency the Hmong viewed as frosty arrogance." The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down is a tragedy of Shakespearean dimensions, written with the deepest of human feeling. Sherwin Nuland said of the account, "There are no villains in Fadiman's tale, just as there are no heroes. People are presented as she saw them, in their humility and their frailty--and their nobility."
Book Description
Winner of the National Book Critics Circle Award for Nonfiction
When three-month-old Lia Lee Arrived at the county hospital emergency room in Merced, California, a chain of events was set in motion from which neither she nor her parents nor her doctors would ever recover. Lia's parents, Foua and Nao Kao, were part of a large Hmong community in Merced, refugees from the CIA-run "Quiet War" in Laos. The Hmong, traditionally a close-knit and fiercely people, have been less amenable to assimilation than most immigrants, adhering steadfastly to the rituals and beliefs of their ancestors. Lia's pediatricians, Neil Ernst and his wife, Peggy Philip, cleaved just as strongly to another tradition: that of Western medicine. When Lia Lee Entered the American medical system, diagnosed as an epileptic, her story became a tragic case history of cultural miscommunication.
Parents and doctors both wanted the best for Lia, but their ideas about the causes of her illness and its treatment could hardly have been more different. The Hmong see illness aand healing as spiritual matters linked to virtually everything in the universe, while medical community marks a division between body and soul, and concerns itself almost exclusively with the former. Lia's doctors ascribed her seizures to the misfiring of her cerebral neurons; her parents called her illness, qaug dab peg--the spirit catches you and you fall down--and ascribed it to the wandering of her soul. The doctors prescribed anticonvulsants; her parents preferred animal sacrifices.
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When three-month-old Lia Lee arrived at the county hospital emergency room in Merced, California, a chain of events was set in motion from which neither she nor her parents nor her doctors would ever recover. Lia's parents, Foua and Nao Kao, were part of a large Hmong community in Merced, refugees from the CIA-run "Quiet War" in Laos. Parents and doctors both wanted the best for Lia, but their ideas about the causes of her illness and its treatment could hardly have been more different. The Hmong see illness and healing as spiritual matters linked to virtually everything in the universe, while the medical community marks a division between body and soul, and concerns itself almost exclusively with the former. Lia's doctors ascribed her seizures to the misfiring of her cerebral neurons; her parents called her illness qaug dab peg - the spirit catches you and you fall down - and ascribed it to the wandering of her soul. The doctors prescribed anticonvulsants; her parents preferred animal sacrifices. The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down moves from hospital corridors to healing ceremonies, and from the hill country of Laos to the living rooms of Merced, uncovering in its path the complex sources and implications of two dramatically clashing worldviews.
Customer Reviews:
A Paradigm of the Complexities of Modern Medicine in Relation to Cuture and Ethnicity.......2007-09-30
I read "The Spirit Catches You, and You Fall Down" as a required reading for a Sociology course on Health and Ilnness in Society. This is simply put, an amazing piece of work, that not only is thorough, but has a great deal of emotion and you really are able to sense the pain, frustration, and joy, of both the Lee family and the medical community that cared for her. This work is also a testiment to the Hmong people and culture, who are often grealty overlooked in US Asian American culture. Anne Fadiman goes into great detail describing their culture, from it's language, history, and religion both here and in Loas, and to their unfortunate and tragic involvement in the US war in Vietnam which landed them in refugee camps in Thailand. My opinions vacillated at times from anger to empathy for her parents and their inability and refusal to follow the doctors advise, that could've saved their daughters life. I encourage this book to be read by anyone going into the medical field where you will encounter a myriad of ethnicities, that often fly in the face of conventional US medicine. This is nonfiction that reads with the excitement and personality of a well crafted novel.
The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down .......2007-09-26
exceptional book for those involved in anything dealing with human relationships. gives unbiased information from all sides of the issue (language & cultural barriers resulting in medical "errors")
this book smacks you in the face with your own preconceptions about what families know about their child, and what professionals know about their field, and how sometimes those two don't mesh, resulting in the child being put in the middle.
oh yeah, and every once in a while you will want to yell out about "the guy hiding behind the rock." because hindsight is so clear!
Great introduction to cross cultural communication.......2007-09-04
I was assigned this book as a supplement to a Cross Cultural Communication class. It's a very interesting read about a young girl who gets caught between Eastern and Western medicine. It makes a good read to see how CCC can be so important in our daily lives. It has a good lot of medical jargon and even more characters. There are a lot of doctors that are important for various reasons. It is certainly not a light beach read. Once you read it though you'll want someone else to read it to have someone to talk about. You can get in long discussions over who is "right" and if there is a right.
Oh so predictable..........2007-08-07
Detailed, researched look at the Hmong people of Vietnam in America through the experiences of one family in the medical/hospital system as they try to help their epileptic child. Although the action takes place in California, the story would probably have been similar no matter where the family lived. Non judgemental author keeps reader engaged. Structure of the book with alternating chapters detailing the history of the Hmong and then the specific family works well. Cross cultural misunderstandings seem inevitable given language and cultural differences. Sad without being depressing.
The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down.......2007-08-01
An excellent book. A powerful and moving true story of a cultural east/west clash, especially concerning medical care. I couldn't put the book down. Enlightening also when it comes to the drugs used in treating status epilecticus, specifically in children under three. I also appreciated learning about some of the political history regarding the beautiful people of Laos. My heart goes out to the Hmong people.
Book Description
2005 Logos Bookstores Award winner for Best Children's Book
With lighthearted illustrations and a sweet, reflective tone, best-selling author Karen Kingsbury encourages parents to savor not only their children's "firsts"--like first steps and first words--but the "lasts" as well. With the tenderness of a mother speaking directly to her child, Karen reminds us not to miss last days of kindergarten and last at bats in Little League amidst the whirlwind of life. Adapted from a poem in Rejoice, mothers and grandmothers everywhere will identify with the tenderhearted reflections in Let Me Hold You Longer. An ideal gift book for special occasions from baby showers to graduations.
Customer Reviews:
Let Me Hole You Longer.......2007-10-05
I purchased this book for my daughter in law's baby shower. When I read it, all I could think about were the days when I was raising my four children and how hard I tried to cherish every moment. Even though I tried, the years flew by. This book is a charge to all parents: CHERISH EVERY SINGLE MOMENT of raising your children...One day you will look back and wonder where the time went.
Just as great as I expected.......2007-09-19
I saw this poem in one of Karen Kingsley's novels and wanted a copy of it. How delighted I was to learn it was printed as a book! I bought 4 copies to share with friends. This book puts into words the emotional teeter-totter of parenting between celebrating their firsts and saying good-bye to their lasts. I will keep mine on the shelf with their scrapbooks. When giving it as a gift, you might include a pack of kleenexes and a box of tea bags. Just an FYI, all the pictures are of women, so it seemed more appropriate for a mom. Also, I would recommend it more for a mom of kids that are no younger than age 4, since younger moms may not sympathize with the sadness of saying goodbye to as many phases. Enjoy!
Not for the breastfeeding / non-religious .......2007-08-22
I was looking for a special book for my son's first birthday and as excited when I saw this one as it seemed a perfect way to celebrate his changes. Unfortunately when I got it a few lines really turned me off and I'll be returning it. They are:
"The last time that I held a bottle to your baby lips" - We breastfeed and my son has never had a bottle and never will.
"The last time that I pray with you and tuck you in at night" - We're just not the praying type...
good reminder.......2007-08-21
This book is just a good reminder that time goes by fast, and instead of getting caught up in the business, take the time to watch your child grow and appreciate the milestones before they are gone.
Let Me Hold You Longer.......2007-07-28
This is an excellent book for moms. The things written about are so true and our children do grow up too fast. The pictures are great and I enjoy reading it over and over, shedding a few tears in between.
Book Description
An authoritative manual that provides valuable insights for turning conflicts in the workplace into productive working relationships. The toughest part of any job is dealing with the people around you. Scratch the surface of any company and you'll uncover a hotbed of emotions -- people feeling anxious about performance, angry at co-workers, and misunderstood by management. Now, in Working With You is Killing Me, readers learn how to "unhook" from these emotional pitfalls and gain valuable strategies for confronting workplace conflicts in a healthy, productive way. Discover how to: - Manage an ill-tempered boss before he or she explodes - Defend yourself against idea-pilfering rivals before they steal all the credit - Detach from those annoying co-workers whose irritating habits ruin the day
Customer Reviews:
Just keeps giving.......2007-07-12
This is a book that just keeps giving. I bought it quite a while ago and really did not read it right away --- but ultimately I read the whole thing -- and I must admit I found myself appearing again and again in the descriptions.
But what really is great about this book is that if you just leave it on the coffee table or something like that, then you will find yourself picking it up and randomly looking at a chapter here and a chapter there -- and guess what -- it will all be relevant (if you are being honest with yourself). You will find yourself, your peers, coworkers, and your life.
Worth having.
Surprisingly helpful from an accidental reader.......2007-05-20
My wife bought the book and I was sceptical when I first saw it. I accidentally left it on a low table and our puppy picked it up and shredded most of the first chapter. I bought another copy from Amazon to replace the damaged copy. As I tried to repair the torn pages a few words caught my attention and after that I could not put it down. Take it from an initial sceptic that this book has very helpful suggestions and practical advice that you can readily apply. I highly recommend this book to anybody who is working.
Pop-Psychology.......2007-05-14
This book was assigned reading for a "Leadership" in business class. The first two chapters set the tone for the rest of the book. Read those, and the rest will be just variations on the same theme. I now use the book as a doorstop.
Smart Advice.......2007-05-12
As a veteran of the corporate world, I found the case studies and recommended solutions to common workplace snafus right on target. Best of all, the authors urge individuals to find out their options and own their decisions. In other words, no need to be the victim of an unhealthly work relationship. Hope is out there for those who can take a step back and not get tangled up in other person's bad behavior!
Disappointed.......2007-04-13
With all the glowing reviews, I thought this book would have something new and innovative, something I hadn't heard before. No such luck. Some interesting strategies and tactics for dealing with difficult people and see how you might be contributing to the problem, but nothing you won't find in other books on the subject.
I eventually gave up before finishing the CD because of the lack of anything new and I got tired of listen to the authors :-(
Book Description
The Triple Bottom Line is the groundbreaking book that charts the rise of sustainability within the business world and shows how and why financial success increasingly goes hand in hand with social and environmental achievement. Andrew Savitz chronicles both the real problems that companies face and the innovative solutions that can come from sustainability. His is a hard-line approach to bottom-line fundamentals that is re-making companies around the globe.
Customer Reviews:
If You Want To Get Fluent Fast, Read This Book.......2007-02-20
This book is for interested general consumption rather than a technical practitioners' text book and as such is more than successful in teaching the basics of the triple bottom line. I'm not quite sure why some of the Amazon reviewers seem so testy about this, as the majority of American business management (mid-baby boom and above) never encountered much if anything about corporate responsibility (or ethics) in the curricula they studied on their way up. To consider what that means for concepts like the triple bottom line, pretend that for 25 years today's generation of senior managers had never been told to maximize shareholder value and now in 2007 were expected to internalize the concept and reflexively apply it to everything they do. Particularly from that point of view, Savitz' book is a superb tool to help people become intelligently informed on basic issues of corporate responsibility and sustainability. What individuals do with that is up to that is up to them, but the writing's good, the ideas are clear, the concepts are thought-provoking, and it's the kind of book that drives one to want to learn more. The graphics are particularly useful and uncluttered.
OK as an "Appetizer" not as the "Main Course" for Sustainability.......2007-01-11
While the book's title intrigued me, the amount of coverage in each topic left me hungry for more. As a noted Big Six Consultant, I was sure that Mr. Savitz would have had more to offer, but feel that he fell short. Here are my reasons.
Specifically, his use of specific examples were noteworthy, but the level of detail he provided left me asking more questions than he had answeres for. He also fell short in following through on specific tangental areas, such as describing more about emerging EU directives, as some of his competitors describe in their books.
Other examples include his description of the Maine power company struggle as well as the issues related to Hershey Foods, which could have benefited from more detail and expansive information and then closing with a "lessons learned" to captivate the reader. Perhaps the fault could lie in his choice of a co-author, someone who may be a writer, but is not a subject matter expert - you need someone in that capacity to help pull it all together.
Practical guide for sustainability planning.......2007-01-05
Savitz does a nice job laying the foundation for sustainability thinking in the first part of the book and then provides a "how to" guide in the second part. Almost to a fault for intellectual thinkers the author appears to intentionally avoid complex and underlying theories associated with sustainability concepts. The result is a well written and straight forward practical book rich with examples which makes it easy for just about anyone to read and understand.
Preaching To The Choir.......2006-12-14
The book is divided into two parts -- a lecture on sustainability and then some general things to think about. The book's first half was a lesson to which a reader would have likely already bought into. The second half promises to deliver on "how to make it happen," but really is more general information than meaningful tools.
Given the author's prior work at PricewaterhouseCoopers, it is understandable that the book reads like a macro-level consultant's report. The book could have carried more weight with the inclusion of science and hard numbers of how to actually measure environmental and social value.
An alternative book for readers looking for more solid advice could be "Green to Gold."
Engaging guide to better fiscal, environmental, and social performance........2006-12-11
Sustainability is "the art of doing business in an interdependent world" according to consultant Andrew W. Savitz, who urges companies to focus on the "triple bottom line": solid profit, environmental quality and improved human welfare. Drawing on his experience as head of PricewaterhouseCoopers' sustainability practice, Savitz (writing with Karl Weber) makes a compelling case for moving your business toward "a sustainability sweet spot" where shareholders, environmental interests and other stakeholders can all feel satisfied. Sound like reheated corporate responsibility leftovers? Don't worry. This book offers much more than soft-headed "birdies and butterflies" rhetoric or a few threadbare anecdotes. Savitz marshals truly compelling arguments based on widely accepted demographic, regulatory and cultural trends. Even robber barons will feel the pull of his message, partly because the book is so engaging and well-paced that it reads like a novel, and partly because his prescriptions are so clear, coherent and actionable that they seem like common sense. We highly recommend this sustainability guidebook to those who want to begin the journey on which such companies as Toyota, GE, PepsiCo, Nike and Unilever have already embarked. Bottom line: you can't afford to ignore sustainability.
Book Description
Following her previous New York Times bestsellers, Dr.Laura Schlessinger, the conscience of talk radio, now addresses an issue near and dear to her heart: the stupid things parents do to mess up their children. Never one to shy away from tough truths, Dr. Laura marshals compelling evidence for the widespread neglect of America's children and convincingly condemns the numerous rationalizations to excuse it. These are just a few of her hard-hitting points:
- Don't Have Them If You Won't Raise Them: "The cavalier manner in which our society treats child care, not as a matter of intimacy and love, but as a matter of convenience and economics, is deeply destructive to our children's sense of attachment, identity, and importance."
- Dads Need Not Apply: "Single motherhood may be more acceptable to society, but it is not acceptable to children; nor is it in their best interest."
- Brave New Baby: "In our society, reproductive freedom means anyone can decide to create a life by any means with no, and I mean no, consideration of what is in the best interest of that new human being."
- Spare the Rod: "Children without discipline often become adults with tempertantrums, defiance, rage, depression, anxiety, poor school and work adjustment, drug and alcohol abuse."
Stupid Things Parents Do to Mess Up Their Kids covers all aspects of parenting and also tackles such cultural and societal concerns as abortion, modern sexuality, drug and alcohol use, violence, discipline, and a child's right to privacy.
Customer Reviews:
Hits the nail on the head.......2007-10-07
Reading this book made me so glad I made the choice I did to stay home with my kids. I have no sympathy or respect for women who are flying down the money trail while dumping their poor babies in daycare with strangers; what a long, sad, miserable day for a toddler (no matter what Mom wants to tell herself). And as far as the ever-popular "I can't afford not to work" excuse, then why did you have children if you can't afford them? My husband is in the military; we don't make much money but we would NEVER use that as an excuse to abandon our children day after day all through their fleeting and precious childhoods. This also applies to the single, never married moms who maybe should have considered getting married before getting knocked up; daycare all day AND no dad! Yippee!! Bravo to Dr. Laura for telling it like it is. Once you have that baby, it's not about YOU anymore!
R. Jordan.......2006-03-30
I LOVE Dr. Laura and although I don't have children, I bought this book for a friend of mine that does and is having some difficulty with them. She has read the book 3 times and there is definitely a noticable difference in both my friend and her children's behaviour now.
I highly recommend this book!!!
Dr. Laura and Stupid parents.......2006-03-23
Right on again, Dr. Laura! She isn't afraid of just saying it like it is! We have kids, give them to someone else to rear, and then wonder what has happened to our society? She just levels with parents in the most ACCURATE and DIRECT way. Go Dr. Laura!
Dr. Psychology is right on!!!!.......2006-01-25
Dr. Laura was right on! She is correct in saying that children without guidance and boundries have lower self-esteem and experience depression more often. She is also correct in saying that children need to be corrected- spanked. The studies that some on here proport that damage children's self-esteem do not understand how skewed the data is. Many of the so called researchers have included spanking with those who slap, punch, kick, verbally abuse, and even whip their children with metal objects and wooden paddles. For those who have taken a statistics course or research methods course know how skewed this data is. Dr. Laura is going against the grain of society and saying there is a right and wrong and that we are not animals merely here on earth to follow our instincts and live to ourselves. She calls mothers, fathers, and parents to return to a society where people care and our selfless. This book gives great insight into the feminist movement and how socity is taking a turn for the worst!!
good title but needs a real doctor for its author.......2005-12-03
First of all, I wonder how this woman received the title of doctor because it's obvious she didn't do her homework! When she advocates the use of corporal punishment by saying "Children without discipline often become adults with tempertantrums, defiance, rage, depression, anxiety, poor school and work adjustment, drug and alcohol abuse." she is implying that this will happen to children who are not hit (or spanked whatever you would like to call this form of child abuse) by their parents. Had she done any research or even looked at the research of others she would have found that the majority of children that were spanked by their parents are the ones that end up like this! So it is very clear that she needs to take a good long look at her own values on parenting before she begins criticizing other parents for refusing to deliberately cause pain to their own offspring!
Book Description
"[
Run With the Bulls Without Getting Trampled shows] us how success in the workplace can be something more-but is never less-than the sum of our experiences, emotions, and intelligence. I really liked this book."
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Marcus Buckingham, International speaker and best-selling author,
Now Discover Your Strengths and
First, Break All the Rules
"
Run With the Bulls Without Getting Trampled is one of those books that really makes you want to be a better manager, a better leader, a better person. The stories are powerful, the anecdotes are right on the money, and the wisdom is so evident and clear."
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Pat Lencioni, Author,
The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, and President, The Table Group
"
Run With the Bulls Without Getting Trampled grabbed me from page one and never let go. It's one of those rare business books full of fresh, original stories that inspire us to take a look at our three Cs: commitment, character, and competence."
-Ken Blanchard, Coauthor,
The One Minute Manager® and
Leading at a Higher Level
"As a member of the senior White House staff and a veteran in banking and the executive search fields, I have interviewed thousands of highly successful people. In
Run With the Bulls Without Getting Trampled, Dr. Tim Irwin nails the essential differences between those who do well and those who don't. If you want to know what it takes to make it in any endeavor, read this book!"
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J. Veronica Biggins, Senior Partner, Heidrick & Struggles
"In this inspiring and adventure-filled book, Tim Irwin creatively weaves in stories from his own experiences with hard-hitting corporate examples. It's a great read for those willing to do the work required to experience their own spectacular results and enjoy success."
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Roger Staubach, Chairman/CEO, The Staubach Company and Super Bowl MVP
_____________
Run With the Bulls Without Getting Trampled features Tim Irwin's seven critical success factors as well as six common career derailers. With compelling real-life stories to launch each chapter, Irwin distills not only his experiences as a successful corporate psychologist but also what he has learned from others in thousands of interviews with senior executives. Inside you will also find how you can access free online self-assessment exercises and developmental resources.
Customer Reviews:
Commitment, Character, Competence.......2007-07-31
The advice in this book extends beyond the professional world and echoes in everyday life. This makes sense; we don't live double-lives, and there exists no magic, secret formula for success in business, medicine, or raising kids. It comes down to basic human virtues.
Commitment. Character. Competence. These attributes fuel the engines of success in life.
It boggles the mind how many books or programs offer axiomatic platitudes such as "it's not what you know but who you know" or "success is what makes you happy, so be true to yourself."
None such wasteful advice finds its way into this book. Rather, Dr. Irwin points out the objective, observable standards that exist in life, and our need to continually evaluate ourselves and measure our choices against those standards.
As the book says; it's simple, but it isn't easy. I highly recommend this book.
Run with the Bulls Without Getting Trampled.......2007-07-08
Tim Irwin's book, "Run with the Bulls," is by far the most insightful business book I have read this year. It causes you to take a look beneath the surface and determine how you can lead a life of significance and find meaning in your work. There are very few business books that take you to this level of personal reflection. "Run with the Bulls" is one of them.
run with the bulls.......2007-04-19
"Run with the Bulls" offers a practical approach to finding meaning and fulfillment in our careers. Tim Irwin uses straightforward language to express complex ideas. He has an engaging way with personal anecdotes that serve both to clarify his themes and share aspects of his family life. One of the book's many pleasures is its frequent use of cultural references. Dr Irwin's interests range from "New Yorker" cartoons to TS Eliot to popular movies like "Groundhog Day." His experience as a psychologist has given him unique insight into the complex issues that so often derail our attempts to pursue excellence.
If you are running your career you need this book.......2007-03-08
The best complete compilation and illustration of the keys to a great life and career.
Great Stories with a Powerful Message.......2007-01-31
"Run with the Bulls" is hard book to put down. I savored each chapter. The author tells real life stories as the foundation for a powerful message on principles of leadership. After reading the book I passed it on to my 18 year-old son who read it in a week. I wish I had known the principles which Irwin sets forth so clearly when I began my career! The stampeding bulls will trample the energy and enthusiasm out of many young professionals. I ordered six copies for my family members to help them avoid that fate.
Book Description
Is Your Living Will Compromising Your Safety?
If you have a living will, you probably had it prepared so your wishes could be carried out if you became incapable of making your own medical decisions. But, did you realize there is a risk of your living will being misinterpreted?
Patients who are not terminally ill die in hospitals every year because of medical staff misinterpretations of living wills. These are patients who would have otherwise lived if treated. But, too often, patients with living wills are treated as DNR—a code status understood by physicians and staff to mean “do not resuscitate.” However, in many cases their status should have been “Full Code,” which tells those in authority to use aggressive efforts to save patients’ lives. Unfortunately, living wills do not contain patient code status designations and therein lies the problem.
As an emergency room physician, Ferdinando L. Mirarchi, D.O. understands how these misinterpretations happen. In Understanding Your Living Will, Dr. Mirarchi explains how to include lifesaving patient code status information in your living will and in the living wills of your loved ones. Among the questions he answers:
· How can you be sure your living will makes your wishes clear?
· What are the hidden dangers in living wills?
· How can you avoid the misinterpretation of a DNR code status?
· When does a living will become active?
· Why is it important to have a health care power of attorney?
· What is a health care proxy?
A Book to Help You Ensure Your Living Will Follows Your Wishes
Book Description
A Code of Jewish Ethics, Volume 1: You Shall Be Holy is the initial volume of the first major code of Jewish ethics to be written in the English language. It is a monumental work on the vital topic of personal character and integrity by one of the premier Jewish scholars and thinkers of our time.
With the stated purpose of restoring ethics to its central role in Judaism, Rabbi Joseph Telushkin offers hundreds of examples from the Torah, the Talmud, rabbinic commentaries, and contemporary stories to illustrate how ethical teachings can affect our daily behavior. The subjects dealt with are ones we all encounter. They include judging other people fairly; knowing when forgiveness is obligatory, optional, or forbidden; balancing humility and self-esteem; avoiding speech that shames others; restraining our impulses of envy, hatred, and revenge; valuing truth but knowing when lying is permitted; understanding why God is the ultimate basis of morality; and appreciating the great benefits of Torah study. Telushkin has arranged the book in the traditional style of Jewish codes, with topical chapters and numbered paragraphs. Statements of law are almost invariably followed by anecdotes illustrating how these principles have been, or can be, practiced in daily life. The book can be read straight through to provide a solid grounding in Jewish values, consulted as a reference when facing ethical dilemmas, or studied in a group.
Vast in scope, this volume distills more than three thousand years of Jewish laws and suggestions on how to improve one’s character and become more honest, decent, and just. It is a landmark work of scholarship that is sure to influence the lives of Jews for generations to come, rich with questions to ponder and discuss, but primarily a book to live by.
Customer Reviews:
Wise advice throughout, for anyone.......2006-10-02
One of the things I find most wonderful about this book is that I can pick it up and read only a page, and have something worth thinking about. It is packed full of good, clear advice and ethical guidance. On first glance there are some ideas that seem obvious, and some that seem impossible. But with further reading and effort the impossible becomes easier to conceive of, and ideas that seemed obvious reveal hidden depths. I am on my second reading of the book, mixed with frequently jumping around in the text, and I'm certain I'll get something new from it with future readings as well.
A particularly lovely touch to this book is that with every piece of advice, there is an explanation, an example, or an anecdote - something to tie the subject in to our every-day lives. For example, the section on common sense and tact quotes the late Jewish humorist Sam Levenson in saying "It's not so hard to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and don't say it." This seems like such a small thing, but this little bit of humor stays in my mind better than any lecture, and is just enough to remind me that I mean to improve. Other such anecdotes show that some of the "impossible" expectations through the book are in fact anything but.
So many "self-help" and "self-improvement" books are easy to skim through, more fluff and cheery stories than content. While many books on living the good life have passed through my hands, no other has lingered quite as well as this one. Every time I open it I am reminded of some aspect of life that I should focus more on, and I expect it will be on my shelf for a very long time.
excellent for the High Holy Days.......2006-09-25
Like Telushkin's Book of Jewish Values (which overlaps somewhat with this book) this book is not only full of practical ethical suggestions. Here are a few examples:
1. To help yourself give other people the benefit of the doubt, think of rationalizations that might help, just as if you were making excuses for yourself
2. Praying for others when they are sick is a fine thing, but why not go further by praying for those with other problems such as financial or relationship issues?
3. When visiting friend you haven't seen in awhile, say the Shecheyanu prayer to thank God for the privilege;
4. If someone is getting on your nerves, think of ways in which they might be superior to you;
5. Chant "Do not be easily angered" (al tehi noach lekos) to calm yourself down if you feel yourself getting angry.
Although I am not sure yet which (if any) of these ideas I will have the self-discipline to put into practice, this book has already inspired me to do a little beyond what was directly suggested.
Since this time of year is (for Jews) a propitious time for reforming oneself, I think this book is especially useful this time of year.
Concededly, a few of the book's suggestions seemed a bit overly ambitious to me- but my feeling is that if this book inspires me to do just a few small things differently, than it is worth the time I invested in it.
ample encyclopedic mind.......2006-07-03
In a longer review for jbooks.com, I wrote: "Spending time with this first volume is akin to tapping into Rabbi Telushkin's encyclopedic mind. Fortunately, it's both an ample and organized mind, as evidenced by the logical breakdown of chapters, the bulk of which appear in the second part, in which basic virtues and vices are explicated. Everything from civility and forgiveness to anger and hatred are laid bare." You can read the full review at [...]
Book Description
Passion. It's the fuel for success, for dreams, for life. But too many teens focus their energy and passion on the wrong thing-the wrong person. Dateable pulls no punches in telling teens the truth about dating while also directing their passion toward a greater purpose in life. Teen relationships seldom last, the authors point out, so why should teens invest so much of themselves emotionally, physically, and spiritually? The answer? They shouldn't. Instead, they can protect their hearts, live with excitement, and enjoy relationships in a way that enhances rather than detracts from those they'll have in the future. With Justin and Hayley ''telling it like it is,'' teens will learn how to be dateable and how to evaluate the dateability of their latest crush. And they'll get some much-needed perspective on sex, his/her communication, clothes, God-even ''chick flicks.'' Dateable also includes sidebars, quizzes, callouts, and more.
Customer Reviews:
The dating game.......2007-09-11
We bought this book for my daughter who has just started a relationship. This book teaches almost the opposite of what we have been teaching at home. The author instructs that dating should be just for fun. He also states quite vehemently that their dating relationships will not last, but also says that dating is practice for marriage. How is having multiple dating partners in High school a good practice for having a lifelong committment down the road? We need to teach our daughters to date responsibly. A better book to read is "The Truth About Guys" by Chad Eastman. It reveals things about guys while building a girl's self-esteem.
Some good points, but mostly a bad influence.......2007-08-12
I like reading books giving advice on the opposite sex and tips in how us girls can take that in mind with the way we approach guys, talk to them, etc.--according to what sort of personality we have. That's why when I found Dateable in the bookstore, I was interested to buy and read it.
Throughout the book, there were some VERY helpful and insightful points and then there was the rest of the book. Lookadoo explains repeatedly that breakups are a lot less painful when you don't put as much of yourself into the relationship rather than baring all of yourself at once. Now, I think to keep a relationship up and running, it requires the guy and the girl to put themselves out on that line that will either bring a lot of happiness or heartbreak. While I think it is good to limit the amount of information you give to other people you are wanting to get to know romantically (at first), I also know that it's a necessity of growing up to experience heartache and deep, happy relationships. If people are going to learn what they want for marriage, they need to date and experience life. If everybody just waited until they were adults and old enough to get married, they'd have the same amount of intelligence on love and relationships as an adolescent and we'd never find the right person.
Lookadoo also makes it a big point to just give up on relationships when you're a teenager because adolescents can't fall in love and it's not going to work out anyway. Plus, according to Lookadoo, if you try to make a relationship work when you're a teenager--you're just practicing for divorce. I think a big reason people even get divorced today is because they're to lazy to try and focus on the trivial parts of the marriage. Isn't just giving up before anything ever happens between the two people practicing divorce?
Lookadoo also proved to be very sexist towards both boys and girls. He tells girls in his chapter: "Girls, Shut Up" that we need to play hard to get and be mysterious so the guys will feel victorious when they finally win you--basically, to just be a trophy for the guys to win. Then he tells shy guys to stop being wimps and be a man. And girls aren't supposed to ask guys out because it makes them feel even more wimpish. I think the author spends too much time throughout the book stereotyping both guys and girls and doesn't realize that everyone is an individual and may/may not agree with his his opinions. That's the biggest problem with this book: he fails to be diverse and tend to different types of scenarios and people.
I felt offended by one particular drawing in the book. Another reviewer mentioned on here that she was offended by the quote: "if girl's dress like a piece of meat, they're gonna be thrown on the b-b-q." Thing is, it's very true. Not all guys, but there are some guys who will take advantage of girls and their emotions if they think the girls easy. I'm not stupid in this subject--I've seen it happen enough to know. So in that respect, I really agree with Lookadoo. But at the same time, he needs to encourage girls to be themselves and not wear clothes that don't flatter their figures because it will draw bad attention. And Lookadoo didn't need to take it to the extent of drawing a picture of a shop that sells women's body parts. I pretty much got the point with his words--he didn't need to draw a human delicatessen.
My point: I didn't really like this book as a whole. But, at the same time,I was able to keep my mind open and found some really profound statements that have helped with past and present relationships. I don't prohibit or recommend this book. As you can see, people really liked or hated this book. All I ask is to keep an open mind.
A "MUST READ" For Every Parent and Teenager!.......2007-07-13
5 stars is NOT ENOUGH! This book talks to kids in a way they truly "get it"!! It explains things to each gender as to how the other 'interprets' what the other is saying, or not saying, the TRUTHS about dating; how their relationship(s) aren't going to LAST FOREVER!! and to just have fun and not get so serious....I'm buying several to give away! TREMENDOUS book!
save your money and watch Leave It to Beaver.......2007-07-11
This deserves -10 stars!
After reading this book--
A YOUNG WOMAN WHO GETS RAPED BY A BOY WILL TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR HIS ACTIONS AND NEVER TELL OF THE CRIME. Clearly, she deserved it by dressing provocatively, allowing a boy to get her alone or simply by not being able to control his body.
She will also learn to play coy games, like not answering the phone or being "unavailable," just to remain "mysterious."
And which part of telling an entire sex of people to SHUT UP is GODLY?
A ring proving your commitment to God is clearly the best information to arm children with in the western country with the highest teenage pregnancy rate.
STUPID.
A life-changing find! .......2007-06-12
I knew this book was written for kids, but bought it anyway because I have been SOOOO clueless about relationships and gender issues. The very first chaper, "It Will Not Last" changed my life. The idea that EVERY dating relationship is temporary never entered my mind- but of, course, at any age that is true. Every dating relationship will end. A engagement has better odds, and a marriage is meant to be permanent, but dating relationships are transient things... and if we fix our minds on that, we don't compromise our values or forget to invest in our friendships. Simple? SIMPLE! But I'd never thought of it before. This book is full of gems like that. Some of the previous reviewers are correct in saying this book is heavily Christian slanted. Don't buy it unless you are trying to follow Christ. It will probably irritate you. But if you read God's word more often than you shop at the mall, you'll hear the heart of what the authors are saying. This is counter-cultural. It is only as sexist as the roles of the Trinity. In aiming to maintain sexual purity and expecting, by God's grace, a marriage that mirrors the Trinity someday; I found this book to be a support and an amazing catalyst for life change.
Book Description
We are all at our best when it counts. But what are we like when no one's looking? That's where character comes in--being consistent even when it doesn't seem to matter.Courage. Discipline. Vision. Endurance. Love. These character qualities are quickly becoming endangered. All too often we hear of marriages falling apart, governments lying, businesses cheating and scandals rocking the church. But with God's guidance and strength, we can maintain character that lasts despite temptations and troubles.
Customer Reviews:
Who you are when no ones looking.......2006-11-10
I love this book,an easy read and With the wOrkbook i
s a good book for a study group. I Couldnt find it in bookstores or the library near me.
A Good Read.......2004-01-30
From the time we are young children we are taught to behave ourselves in public. We quickly learn what behaviour is and is not acceptable when the eyes of our families and friends are on us. But who we are in public is not an accurate guage of our character. Our true character is shown when we are alone and no one is looking. It is at these times that we display our true colours.
In Who You Are When No One's Looking, Bill Hybels outlines several character traits that he believes are becoming endangered in our culture and outlines ways we can incorporate these traits into our lives. The traits he focuses on are courage, discipline, vision, endurance and love. Love is so important that he dedicates half of the book to it, dividing it into several kinds of love, namely tender love, tough love, sacrificial love and radical love.
Though this book does not arrive at any ground-shaking conclusions, it is well worth reading and would make a fantastic 10-part Bible study. My only real complaint would be a few sentences that undermine Reformed theology ("God loves prisoners, homosexuals and bag ladies as much as he loves stock brokers, dental students and seminarians.)" (p. 62) Of course such beliefs are commonplace in the evangelical world and, frankly, not worth getting too upset about.
Wonderful book.......2003-04-27
This is a wonderful book. For those who are fighting bad habits like procrastination, disorganization, poor time management, etc., this book is one of the best you can read. It shows how to achieve discipline, courage, endurance, and the other things which lead to a successful and contented life. It gives a strong Christian viewpoint but it does not push a political viewpoint, which is very refreshing. I would strongly recommend this book for anyone seeking to manage any aspect of his/her life more effectively.
Excellent Book on Christian Character!.......2003-04-13
I have never been disappointed with a book by Bill Hybels. This latest read is certainly no exception. Hybels addresses eight qualities of Christian character: courage, discipline, vision, endurance, tender love, tough love, sacrificial love, and radical love. He opens and closes his work by stressing the importance of having the character that only Jesus Christ can produce. Hybels is easy-to-read, yet profound in his biblical teachings.
I've read many books on Christian character, and this one is among the best.
Highly recommend it.......2003-04-06
This book is filled with truth. As the title indicates, it will lead you to take a good look at who you really are, which might be hard and even painful to do. But this is essential for anyone who desires to grow spiritually, mentally and emotionally. The author discusses the 10 topics covered in the book in a clear and effective way. This makes reading this book easy and very productive (a great plus if, like me, you lead a very busy life and can afford very little time for yourself).
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