Book Description
For 20 million Americans the long process of healing after the devastation of divorce began with a single step. Most found their way alone, making mistakes and trying to reinvent their lives through trial and error. Now, borrowing the wisdom gained in the development of 12 Step Programs, Getting Up, Getting Over, Getting On offers learned and proven support. Author Micki McWade adapts the best techniques, information and life lessons of long established recovery programs to provide a concise and comprehensive pathway to fulfilling life after divorce. Whether during the painful days of the divorce itself or in the adaptive weeks and months that follow, McWade offers valuable ideas that work in relationships with children and with (ex) spouses. Readers are also provided with step-by-step encouragement and guidance for forming their own divorce support groups.
Customer Reviews:
The Recovery Model Can Help Divorced Adults.......2007-05-21
Typical recovery programs focus on issues like alcohol or drug addiction, or perhaps sexual addiction. The twelve-step model is well-known, and despite some critics --- it works very well for many, many people -- every day.
The author shares her own experience and then blends in the concepts and ideas of twelve-step recovery programs. Sprinkled throughout the pages are thoughts, ideas, prayers, inspirations, words of encouragement. The result is a very effective read for anyone who is experiencing a divorce and its aftermath.
We were not familiar with this author before picking up this book; however on reading it carefully we can recommend it. The book is well done; the information is extremely encouraging, and the 'recovery model' applies well to the stages of moving forward after divorce.
Dr. David & Lisa Frisbie
The Center for Marriage & Family Studies
Authors of 8 books, including Moving Forward After Divorce: Practical Steps to * Healing Your Hurts * Finding Fresh Perspective * Managing Your New Life
Blah blah blah.......2007-01-20
Too much psycho-babble and not enough real life advise. It was a chore to get through it when what I really needed was a swift kick in the pants! Turns out that dumping my zero of a husband was the best thing I ever did - and I just went with my gut. I guess I was looking for justification - turned out later he was a drug addict! Duh! Sometimes we just need to listen to God's voice directing us and that's good enough!
A Wonderful Daily Read! .......2006-07-18
This pair of books by Micki are used continuously by myself, and others from the Divorce prayer group at our Church. A wonderful read for group discussion, and daily meditations.
Living Life after the Facade of Fantasy Fades.......2004-09-01
My hope for you is that you will find strength and comfort within these steps. They offer practical suggestions for getting through the tumult and minimizing long-term damage to you and your family. ~Micki McWade
Micki McWade was thrown into an extremely precarious and vulnerable position when she and her husband separated in the fall of 1990. Through overwhelming grief, she struggled through a breakup that was more trying than she had ever anticipated.
At that time she was a member of Al-Anon (a support group for families of alcoholics) and was practicing the Twelve Steps. This helped her to clarify what she was going through, reduced her inner turmoil and helped to create some semblance of peace. After experiencing divorce first-hand, she decided to create a support group for separated and divorced individuals who needed advice, friendship and hope.
In the first chapter, Micki presents a basic understanding of the divorce situation. For women, this can often mean a loss of income, immense grief and the loss of major support systems present when you marry into another family. She explains how she felt, how others feel and what you might be experiencing. This chapter also briefly delves into the are of spirituality (a higher power) and then concludes with the serenity prayer.
Chapter two explains the Twelve Step Recovery Program and lists the steps. Chapter Three takes each step and explains it in depth.
Throughout this book, you will find prayers, inspirational quotes, a deep understanding of the issues at hand and an immense helping of encouragement. Women are especially vulnerable in divorce situations and Micki's story is all too typical of what happens to many women when they have stayed home to take care of their children and been a support to their husbands. If she could survive her divorce, I think anyone could as long as they were patient with themselves. So, this book can give women hope.
In the second section there are tools for recovery that include information on how to create a support group. Chapter five gives four main slogans and explanations for how these can be used in the support group setting for discussion. Chapter seven is filled with personal stories of women who experienced divorce and Susan had an interesting idea about "the person who emotionally leaves the relationship is the initiator."
If you are looking for support during a very difficult time in your life, this book can help you free yourself from your past and encourage spiritual growth. I can also recommend "Daily Meditations: For Surviving a Breakup, Separation or Divorce."
~TheRebeccaReview.com
A Great Help!.......2003-10-29
A helpful book to read and guide you thru a divorce. You can Get Up, Get Over and Get On with your life.
Book Description
As a leading divorce negotiator and mediator, Sam Margulies has helped thousands of couples reach fair and amicable settlements. In this compassionate guide, now updated with vital information on changes in divorce law and norms, Margulies covers the legal, financial, and emotional realities of divorce in a straightforward, reassuring style. He takes readers through every step, from making the initial decision to finalizing the agreement, including:
- Why mediation is now the preferred way to divorce
- How to avoid the conflicts that often occur after the divorce is over
- How to negotiate successfully even when you are angry
- How to manage step-family conflict in the aftermath of divorce
With examples drawn from real-life cases, Getting Divorced Without Ruining Your Life explains how to protect one's own interests and negotiate a stress-free, enduring agreement that allows both partners to embark on a new life.
Customer Reviews:
Divorce & Sanity.......2006-08-01
I give this book to all my clients at our first meeting. This book will help divorcing couples stay sane and get what they need out of their divorce process. Every chapter has guidance and words of wisdom. I recommend this book to every person who is thinking of, or going through, divorce.
It ruined MY LIFE.......2006-03-29
This was the only book I bought in '92 a year before my divorce became final. I was really in need of solid advice, and got rooked.
Any attempt I made to follow this author's misguided logic, only secured my place in the "Suckers Hall of Fame."
Things like; 1) give the woman more alimony to releive HER money-stress and she'll remarry sooner, and get off your back! Baloney! 2) legally tie your child support increases to a yearly cost of living index found in the Wall Street Journal or 3) why not suggest the child live in the marital home while the parents move in and out for visitation... yea right!
If I rememebered anything from 1993, it was how I trusted this author during the most difficult time in my life, only to be fooled with his idealistic, liberal views of divorcing couples. Hey, SAM, most people don't have alot of money and they still fight. Got any good advice for the majority? I didn't think so.
Don't buy this book, I'm surprised it is still around! I gave it 1-star because I had to.
I saved thousands!.......2004-02-10
Many of our friends have spent thousands on lawyer fees and ended up frustrated and bitter. Following Sam Margulies' advice, we were able to work out an equitable divorce settlement that was approved by the court within a month of the final divorce decree. Our total fees were less than $1000.00, and our relationship has remained good enough to make decisions about our children together with the kids' best interests in mind. Unlike others we know, we've both been able to move on with our separate lives.
My kids are glad that I read this book.......2002-07-10
My kids are happy because their father and I have had a truly amicable divorce. We work cooperatively as parents, so our kids have adjusted well although the situation has been painful for them (and for us). This book helped us to work out tricky custody and financial issues. It helped us avoid costly adversarial litigation. The book is sensible, down-to-earth and filled with good solid advice. We were fortunate enough to live in close proximity to one of Dr. Margulies' two locations of practice (NJ and NC) and to work with him personally on issues we could not resolve on our own. He is as excellent in person as he is in print! He has a good sense of humor, lots of compassion and a wealth of experience in dealing with sensitive subjects. I highly recommend the book, and I also recommend him as a mediator.
Managing divorce without the usual traumas.......2002-05-24
A clearly written book that tells you what to do and how to avoid the legal traps that can get you caught up in a web of anger, endless money (to the lawyers),and frustration. Everyone should read it before they make a mess of their divorce. Hats off to Margulies.
Book Description
A complete guide to financial self-defense for people facing divorce
Written by two noted divorce planning experts, this book arms readers with the knowledge and tools they need to make it through a divorce with their financial skins intact. Readers learn of all the financial risks and ramifications involved, as well as how to prepare themselves for any eventuality. And they get proven strategies for negotiating the best possible financial solution, along with valuable work sheets, checklists, and sample documents. Among other important lessons, readers learn how to:
- Construct a solid financial action plan when divorce seems imminent
- Get a complete picture of family finances, including the low down on a spouse's small business or intellectual assets
- Negotiate a win-win financial settlement
- Choose the best settlement method, from options including mediated, arbitrated, and collaborative agreements
- Avoid tax penalties and pitfalls and deal with retirement nest egg, 401(k), and SSI issues
Customer Reviews:
Detailed!!.......2006-05-24
Helps you to understand the complexity of marital debt/assets. In doing post-divorce mediation, the aftermath is worse than the initial filing of the divorce petition. Here we have two consenting adults reigning over the financial thrones of the other. Leaving their financial future in the hands of someone bitter will only gain negative results. What makes one think the court order will enforce resolution? The other party may not feel the urge to pay out of malice. This can lead to foreclosures, collection calls, garnishments, jdgements/liens, (ALL in YOUR name!!!) and frustration.
Being obligated on debt/assets and assuming resolution is a narrow-minded field of scope. This book describes the wide range of capacity in which you should consult with your attorney to ensure fair equitable distribution and negotiation. A mediator is usually sought out or court-ordered for disputes such as this.
Support issues such as commingled funds, both spouses' rights to pensions and social security, equitable business, equitable mortgage , child support, spousal support, and other dividends are dissertated in this book.
This book has so much information in it that is very useful to me as a practitioner. Divorcing couples need to get this for the outcome of what is to be.
Book Description
The inside scoop... for when you want more than the official line!
Sad. Mad. Scared. Stressed. Distraught. Distracted. Overwhelmed. Divorce dredges up so many emotions and entails so many financial and legal issues, it's difficult to stay rational and keep your life on track. This savvy, updated guide empowers you to take constructive steps toward a better future. It leads you through preparing for divorce, the process, legal issues, coping, sticky situations, and post-divorce financial and health-care issues. It tells you things attorneys and other advisors may not, and gives unbiased recommendations for negotiating the tricky issues of divorce while keeping your sanity.
- Vital Information to help you protect your interests in a divorce or in dealings with your future ex, attorneys, financial advisors, and more.
- Insider Secrets for moving from "I do" to "I don't" with harmony, intelligence, and grace.
- Money-Saving Techniques to reduce legal fees and court costs.
- Time-Saving Tips to help you resolve your divorce without going to court.
- The Scoop on the Latest Trends and precedents in spousal and child support, pre-nups, and more to help you set realistic expectations.
- Handy Checklists to help you do everything from setting priorities to telling the children to dividing property
Average customer rating:
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Getting Your Children Through Divorce
Anne Hooper
Manufacturer: Robson Books, Limited
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
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ASIN: 1861059159 |
Product Description
Through this interactive book for children whose parents are going through a divorce, children learn that:
-divorce is not their fault.
-their thoughts and feelings are normal.
-their thoughts and feelings are important.
-they are not alone.
-it is not OK for one parent to say bad things about the other parent in front of them.
-it is OK for parents to cry.
-they will be taken care of.
-other children have experienced similar feelings and have come out all right.
-there are people they can talk to.
-there are things they can do to help get their feelings out and begin to feel better.
-they are still loved even though their parents are getting divorced!
Customer Reviews:
The help I needed, the book I was looking for!.......2000-07-28
This book is not just for very young children. My 11 yo daughter had so much anger wrapped around our divorce that we just couldn't even talk. This book was the break-through we needed to begin talking, crying, understanding, and moving on. She made this book her own, colored the pictures, and had us read it together multiple times, using it to begin discussions about the issues that troubled her.
I highly recommend this book!.......2000-02-12
I bought this book because I didn't know how to talk to my daughters about the divorce. Reading through this story gave us the words to discuss difficult issues. I recommended this book to the other parents in my divorce recovery group. They also were grateful to have a way to talk about divorce with their kids.
Kids with various personality types get specific coping tips.......1999-08-25
As an elementary school counselor, I have many children referred to me for support during their parents' divorce. This is the best book I have found for giving specific, insightful tips, targeting children's specific personality types. A quiet, introspective child experiences divorce differently than an extremely outgoing child. Dr. Nightingale gives tips for the whole divorce process, from beginning to end. Concepts are presented with gentleness and grace. As District Counselor, I have purchased a copy for each of the elementary school counselors in our district. We all use this book often and appreciate it!
This is a "must buy" for divorcing couples with children!.......1997-07-25
If you only buy one book to help your family through your divorce, this is the one to buy! Dr. Lois takes the fear and taboo out of divorce and makes it an easy subject to discuss. As a webmaster of a Single Parents Support page, I have read dozens of books and none have been as unique as this one.
This brilliant book is designed to be read WITH your children. Kids get a chance to read about familiar characters, colour, draw and discuss their similar feelings. By basing the book on Fairy Tale characters, children learn that even the most perfect of lives can go wrong.
This fantastic piece of writing asks questions as easy as "how did that make you feel?" to "What rules have the Judge made, and what do you do if someone breakes them?"
The children learn that fear and tears is OK and normal--even moms and dads cry and feel scared! Take the time, track this book down. You'll be glad that you did.
Jill Lassaline
Helped my son and I talk about divorce.......1997-06-10
I love this book. It helped me talk to my son about his concerns and feelings as we went through an uncomfortable divorce. This book helped me explain to him that he was not to blame for the problems between his mother and I. As he used the workbook pages it helped him express his fears and let me demonstrate that I heard his concerns. I was also able to show him that I will always love him, so much so that now, six months later, we talk a lot more than before and are becoming fast friends. Thanks for your helpful insight
Customer Reviews:
Unbelievable in its capacity to heal.......2005-01-23
A rare 1976 book by Bob Hoffman, developer of the Hoffman Process - the world's best kept secret for healing the root of anger and hurt since 1967. The Hoffman Process has evolved much since its original format. Presented in an 8-day residential retreat setting around the world, this book is a detailed account of the basic structure of the process. Although it was reformatted in 1985 from a 13-week series, much of the Hoffman Process remains true to the signature syllabus of Bob Hoffman. Hoffman was in a class by himself during the counter-culture encounter era of human potential groups that flourished in the San Francisco area during the 70's and 80's. Hoffman was not about positive thinking but freeing people from the grips of their deeply rooted and hurtful past. If you are curious about the origins of one of the most profoundly healing programs in the world, endorsed by Joan Boryshenko, John Bradshaw, Ken Blanchard, and many other medical/psychology experts ... this is the quintessential guide. It won't give you the result but it will give you a taste of how this method was groundbreaking then and now. A must read for Hoffman graduates!
Average customer rating:
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My Parents Are Getting Divorced: How to Keep It Together When Your Mom and Dad Are Splitting Up (A Sunscreen Book)
Florence Cadier , and
Melissa Daly
Manufacturer: Sunscreen
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Binding: Paperback
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Similar Items:
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The Divorce Helpbook for Teens (Rebuilding Books)
ASIN: 0810991632 |
Book Description
Sunscreen(tm) A new series that offers good advice in an appealing, portable package
Written with candor and humor, the Sunscreen series offers preteens and teens advice on the topics that interest them most in a compact, highly illustrated paperback that fits conveniently in a purse, backpack, or messenger bag. Not too glib and not overly serious, the Sunscreen books deliver just the right information, and the freedom and protection that come with it.
Customer Reviews:
Great book!.......2004-08-10
this book really helped me a lot while my parents were going through a divorce. I am 12 years old and would recommend this book to ages 12 and up. It covers everything a teenager worries about or how they feel when their parents are/getting divorced! So buy this book if ur parents are divorced! it really helped me~
Average customer rating:
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If My Parents Are Getting Divorced, Why Am I the One Who Hurts?
Jeenie Gordon
Manufacturer: Zondervan
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
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Accessories:
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philosophy hope in a jar daily moisturizer
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Braun IRT 4020 ThermoScan Ear Thermometer
ASIN: 0310593115 |
Book Description
Every year, more than two million North Americans experience the trauma of separation and divorce. Now, at last, On Your Own Again provides down-to-earth help for readers seeking to survive a shattered relationship and build a new life.Written in Dr. Anderson's own personable, reassuring voice, this guide explains the four emotional stages undergone during and after separation and gives every reader the feeling, "He's talking about me."
Dr. Anderson offers compassionate, practical, step-by-step advice. In no-nonsense language, often leavened with humour,he provides tools that can be used by readers male or female, young or middle-aged, straight or gay, in or recently out of a troubled relationship, to help cope with the loss and to speed recovery – so that they may lead rich, rewarding lives on their own again.
Customer Reviews:
Excellent tool on your path to understanding - with one small problem.......2007-04-27
When I decided to break off the relationship with my partner, it was truly the most difficult decision of my life - emotional, heartbreaking, and gut-wrenching. The worst part was feeling the guilt of knowing I had shattered someone else's heart. This book was an excellent way to begin the journey to healing for myself, through understanding what I need to do to prepare myself for the road ahead -- whether alone or coupled. My only disappointment is that while this book did mention that it was targeted equally to couples separating, regardless of who did the deed, the stories clearly focused on the difficult time of those who had their partners leave them, rather than on those who had difficulty coping with a decision they had made to end their relationship. Overall, however, a fantastic tool for those going through a separation or divorce.
An Insightful View.......2006-03-09
Interestingly, most books on the subject of dealing with the aftermath of separation and divorce are aimed towards a female audience. Of all the titles I browsed, this was one that struck me as non gender specific. In purchasing the book and reading it, I found that the book was wonderfully applicable to both men and women.
Personally, I gained a great deal of insight into the things I have been experiencing since my wife announced that she wanted to separate. I started to read the book feeling that I was the only one in the world in a similar situation that was feeling the things that I was feeling. Very early into the book, I found that not only was it true that others were feeling these very same things but that these feelings were actually normal.
I took great comfort in being able to place myself in the process that the book describes. I also derived certain comfort in the knowledge of what is to come as I continue through the process. After all, if the author has defined the parts of the process I have experienced in such a correct manner, is it not logical to assume that the remainder of the process will be much as he has described in the book?
Without reservation I can say that this book has helped. It is informative, insightful and full of very true observations. If you need to come to grips with the things that are associated with being suddenly on your own as the result of divorce and separation, this book will most assuredly assist you.
On Your Own Again.....words of comfort and patience.......2002-11-09
This is a wonderful book with words of comfort and patience that are as up-to-date as any thing else out there. This author writes from the point of view of a therapist AND a person who has been there himself. He does not seek to explain the why of a breakup...but rather how to move on. I found the section on the most common mistakes people get into in the acute stage of breakup wonderfully "right on time." While this book focuses heavily on marriage and heterosexual relationships, I think anyone just out of a committed relationship will find it helpful.
Not helpful to me!!.......2002-05-02
My boyfriend recently broke up with me and broke my heart in a second.I'm 27 years old and never felt like this before. I searched and bought many books trying to find a way to make me feel better and find answers to the tones of questions and ifs that were bothering my mind.This book didn't help me a lot. The writing feels distant and it is difficult to see the author as a friend or at least as someone close to you and your feelings.It can be useful only if you were married and now divorced but not if you had a relationship and lived separately.It has a lot of chapters concerning how to raise your children after a divorce or how to split the money and the invstments, things that can't concern people who had a serious relationship,who loved the other very much but who haven't been married or lived together for a long time.Also I found its advice old-fashioned and out of date.
Soothing words during a rough time.......2000-08-24
When I read "On Your Own Again" just a few months ago, I still wasn't sure I would reunite with my love. In fact, we remain separated but hope that over time we can come together again - but not right away. Healing takes time. "On Your Own Again" helped me to understand from a healthy perspective what I need to heal in myself, regardless of whether we come together again or not. I discovered that "working things out" means learning how to care ABOUT myself (and someone else), versus caring FOR them, and hoping to be taken care OF. As a woman, this was a big obstacle to overcome. I now understand realistic expectations and I feel free to discover what makes me a productive, full and responsible person. And a healthy one. I realize that all of the things I want from a partner are virtues and characteristics that I must own, develop and BE for myself. I AM on my own again and when or if my love and I get back together, I will be a full, complete partner to him. If we permanently break apart, then even through the painful sadness, I will at least know that inside, I'm growing and sustaining myself. This isn't a "how-to" book (there isn't a quick remedy for this kind of thing). It's a guide that gently teaches you that you can be your own trusted friend and that no other person can be for you what you can't be for yourself.
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