Average customer rating:
- Good book!
- THIS BOOK "SAVED MY MARRIAGE"
- A profound, important, and implication-rich book
- Excellent, excellent book.
- Buy this book!
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Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved by You? (Second Edition)
Jordan Paul , and
Margaret Paul
Manufacturer: Hazelden
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
 Substance Abuse
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ASIN: 1568387962 |
Book Description
Arguing with your spouse about the checkbook? The in-laws? Kids' schedules? Couples think they fight about money, family issues, and time. But what are these conflicts really about? Family therapists Jordan Paul and Margaret Paul reveal how couple discord is often rooted in self-protection. Here, in their best-selling book, they help couples work through fears and false beliefs that block expression of loving feelings. The result? A freer, more joyful, and profoundly intimate relationship.
Customer Reviews:
Good book!.......2006-03-02
Great book. I am still reading and learning! Quick delivery and arrived in great shape!
THIS BOOK "SAVED MY MARRIAGE".......2004-04-02
There are three of you in a marriage. YOU, ME and US. All three need to be happy. This book can get you there. It saved our marriage.
A profound, important, and implication-rich book.......2002-02-07
For me this book is one of the most profound and important books I have ever read about relationships and communication. Although it is written as a book about marital relationships, it has implications for every kind of relationship, and not only intimate or dyadic ones. And, although it is written as a pop psychology book, I think it makes a real contribution to the social-scientific understanding of relationships and communication -- that is, it stands up well as a general model of communication and relationship. I think it is a great book and would be of great value not only to those trying to solve relationship problems but to those wanting to understand the ways in which self and relationship are intertwined in general. It illuminates all of the areas of one's life in which one communicates with others and, as another reader said, can be as valuable for understanding past relationships as for dealing with present ones.
Excellent, excellent book........2002-01-29
This book has really come to the rescue in my life. I am 24 and my partner 21. We've been together 8 months and started having conflicts after moving in together about 2 months ago. After a big fight one day, she brought this book home and we agreed to read it together every day.
Since then, there's been a massive change for us. A difficult change too, but so worthwhile. Margie and Jordan are really great people, and they make the book funny, informative and loving, but strong enough to shake you up. It's just so great... learning to learn is difficult, but ultimately incredibly rewarding. 1000 stars!
Buy this book!.......2000-09-23
If you are having conflicts in your relationship, I cannot recommend a better book for helping understand your own reactions to your partner's behavior. This book shed enormous light on my relationship. That relationship ultimately fell apart, but this book helped me to understand why.
Amazon.com
In The Second Sex, Simone de Beauvoir posed questions many men, and women, had yet to ponder when the book was released in 1953. "One wonders if women still exist, if they will always exist, whether or not it is desirable that they should ...," she says in this comprehensive treatise on women. She weaves together history, philosophy, economics, biology, and a host of other disciplines to show women's place in the world and to postulate on the power of sexuality. This is a powerful piece of writing in a time before "feminism" was even a phrase, much less a movement.
Book Description
The classic manifesto of the liberated woman, this book explores every facet of a woman's life.
Customer Reviews:
good book.......2007-06-08
Pleased with the book. We got what we paid for and what we expected. Arrived in a timely fashion.
the treaty on feminism.......2007-01-28
Anyone who is interested in women's issues needs to read this book!
To me it appears to be the best discourse on feminism ever written. Well researched it gives a bilogical, historical ,psychological and philosophical persective of so called feminie condition across the centuries and outlines it with great accuracy and professionalism. It deals with various aspects of woman's life , her roles in the family and the society , her psychology and sexuality. Sure, women's condition changed since the book was written, but it's message still seems shockingly revolutionary. No wonder that its publication almost 60 years ago caused so much fear and hatred.
The Second Sex Transcends Time.......2006-09-21
Simone's treatise is the most brave and brilliant piece of literature ever written about gender and its effects on the lives of everyone we know. She continues to speak the truths about men, women and privilege in society and the corrosive effects of the constructed and artificial roles that we still struggle with. The Second Sex is as essential and appropriate reading today as it was 40 years ago. To anyone interested in the roots of gender oppression, definition and equal access to opportunity, this is the go to reference book. Simone de Beauvoir has found another generation of readers who understand its appeal to rationality, historical accuracy and truth.
NOT GOOD.......2006-09-07
after seeing The Guru on TV i got into the whole sex book thing i read all the best sellers from Mars and Venus in The Bedroom by John Gray to How To Get Any Girl Any Time by The Guru
these books changed my Life but in Particular this book was not so great because i and my fiance read it and found that it really was not too helpful and out dated
exceptional achievement.......2006-01-21
Simone de Beauvoir basically explains the sexual initiation of the female, her relations with the opposite gender, and her place in society, in the style of her classic manifesto of the liberated woman.
As a book published in 1949, Beauvoir's achievement for a woman at her time is really exceptional...
Book Description
With more than 250,000 copies in print, Is It Love or Is It Addiction? has helped countless people find their way from the trials and confusions of addictive love to the fulfillment of whole and healthy relationships. In this second edition, psychotherapist Brenda Schaeffer draws on new developments in her practice, as well as a decade of feedback, to expand her original insights and advice. The result is a fresh perspective on intimacy and an invaluable practical guide to making relationships work. Brenda Schaeffer conducts workshops on addictive relationships. She is the author ofLoving Me, Loving You.
Customer Reviews:
excellent book.......2007-06-09
simple, concise book that takes you through the subject in an interesting way.
I recommend it
One of the most important books I've ever read.......2006-07-28
I initially bought this book because I wondered if being in love was just an addiction. But I learned so much more than that. This book should be helpful for practically everyone. It talks about how our love relationships are related to unmet needs from childhood. It described my parents relationship almost exactly and I see how it affected me. It was amazing that anyone knew all this stuff.
Very Helpful.......2005-07-21
Not only discusses the symptoms, but also walks you through some steps to stop it, and to work through it. A wonderful book. I keep it on my bedside and consult it frequently even though I have read it cover to cover.
An excellent resource for addicts who want real love!.......2001-07-29
I can't believe I am the first one to review this book! After struggling with addictions of all sorts for years (including alcohol, drugs, sex, and love addiction), I finally determined why I kept sabotaging my relationships with women. My compulsive search for something to help me feel less pain came from my childhood, and this book was the stepping stone that helped me see that there was hope to overcome this tricky addiction, seek help, and learn to love myself and others with authenticity.
I highly recommend this book to any alcoholic, chemically dependent or sexually addicted person. There is hope for a relationship without painful addictive behaviors, and this book will help you find that hope!
Book Description
Fifteen years after its first publication, The Second Shift remains just as important and relevant today as it did then. As the majority of women entered the workforce, sociologist and Berkeley professor Arlie Hochschild was one of the first to talk about what really happens in dual-career households. Many people were amazed to find that women still did the majority of childcare and housework even though they also worked outside the home. Now, in this updated edition with a new introduction from the author, we discover how much things have, or have not, changed for women today.
Customer Reviews:
as always Hochschild reads wonderfully........2007-03-15
Hochschild makes a wonderful job in bringing us into the lives of these couples. Her insights and comments on why people act a certain way are really great. I can't help but lose myself in her writing- often with tears in my eyes about why patriarchy is so embedded within us.
So Much Time. So Little Change.......2006-06-17
This book has been reissued with a new introduction to an old and important message. "A man may work from sun to sun, but a woman's work is never done" is an adage older than any of us. Hochschild draws a bleak and accurate picture of the increasing number of women with two jobs. As the economy worsens, and as more women want to maintain their careers, this number grows. The number of men pitching in at home, Hochschild reminds us, has not grown. Women come home from work to a full set of responsibilities. Women take off for the sick child, the doctor's appointment, the school play.
Yes, some men stay home, and yes, some men do their fair share. But things cold get better. I'd like to see this as required reading in high school - let's see if we can create a new trend.
Polemics, not scholarship........2006-01-27
To reach her spurious conclusions, the author presents decades-old data on men and housework as if these studies came out last week. Credible research from the University of Michigan shows that men and women work about the same amount of time when you include both work done inside and outside the home. Ladies, if you want to read a great book that will help you earn more money, read "Why men earn more" by Warren Farrell. Studies show that the claims of feminism are questionable at best, and at worst misleading and damaging to women and all who earnestly seek the truth. "The second shift" is part of the backlash against equality that has been gradually building up steam in western culture since the Renaissance.
Everyone should read this.......2003-02-24
As a college-age male, one might think that I would have little reason to read a study about the struggles of working women. That is wrong.
This insightful, modest study of family life (witnessed by the capable Arlie Hochschild as a fly-on-the-wall) gives perspective on a dillemma everyone should think about before marriage: how to reconcile economic and personal needs with having children. This problem affects women and men, mothers and fathers.
Unfortunately, it is rarely talked about in our society. People are forced to muddle through using their parents as examples, or to try to construct new strategies from scratch. Hochschild provides a useful structure for discussing the problem and avoiding the emotional and marital cost of relying on "myths." Any serious couple should be able to talk about these subjects to avoid misunderstanding and conflict.
One problem with this book is the writing - the points do not always flow together, and sometimes the sentences are simply awkward. This study is also weighted toward middle class families, though it explores others as well. Despite being over a decade old, this book is still relevant.
Well worth reading, whether you are deciding on a career, getting married, or already trying to balance both.
Review of "The Second Shift".......2002-12-11
Excellent examination of the Dual-Earner family and the changes this is causing to America's traditional familial structure. Hochschild brings attention to many of the tensions within the working family and discusses causes and solutions. Her idea of a stalled cultural revolution is riveting.
Customer Reviews:
Decent Read.......2007-08-28
It's an interesting read, but it's definitely geared towards a specific demographic of brides. Any bride that hasn't lived as a single woman on her own for a good amount of time will find this book interesting but not extremely helpful. Still, the author is witty and the book is an easy read.
Tedious and biased.......2007-07-23
I hate to be the lone dissenter, but this book really didn't help me sort out my pre-wedding thoughts. A few months before my wedding, I began to feel somewhat nervous about leaving my single life behind and "becoming another person." I bought this book hoping that it would offer advice and some reassurance that my feelings were shared by other brides.
While it did indeed indicate that my sudden identity concerns were common, I found that most of Stark's advice was based on her own marriage, with a few tidbits thrown in from a few interviews she had done with several young brides--although most of it is common sense. I found myself often thinking that I was reading Stark's autobiography.
That said, it does have some good pointers and a few good stories that a lot of brides can relate to.
Great Book !.......2007-04-04
I am a 40ish bride-to-be and I learned a lot from this book. It's not only advice about weddings, etc., but a really deep look at some serious issues that arise in relationship. Thanks Marg.
Excellent advice and a must-read for newlyweds.......2006-10-24
Someone once said that "When the Wedding March fades and the cake is in crumbs, what you have left is a marriage." There are plenty of books out there for how to plan a wedding, but few to help on the morning after. This practical advice for beginning your marriage and surviving the transition to spouse is both entertaining AND informative. Would make a great gift for a newlywed, or good class reading for those in premarital counseling.
So Far So Good.......2006-07-04
I am about half way into the book and for the most part I am really finding it enjoyable and comforting. However, being a bride that has been living with her future husband for several years I find that some of the concepts do not pertain to me. Otherwise, highly reccommend the book for brides-to-be. It helps you realize you aren't the only one feeling this way!
Book Description
A companion to the best-selling book of the same title, this popular, newly revised workbook helps couples create a deeply satisfying, more intimate relationship. Focusing on the ever-present dynamic of conflict-and the process of working through it-the authors guide couples in getting to the root of recurring disagreements and destructive behaviors. Self-assessment exercises and couple activities help readers recognize unloving responses, move past fear, identify self-protective and negative beliefs, break down power struggles, and reach out in forgiveness. The principles outlined in this powerful, easy-to-use workbook have helped thousands of couples and families create more loving relationships. Key features and benefits a proven best-seller highly recommended by marriage therapists includes exercises for couples to explore core beliefs and values
Customer Reviews:
This book really helps you communicate with your partner.......2007-03-12
There is no perfect answer to conflict in relationships...but this is a very good system for looking deeper and getting honest about what the underlying problems could be.
Connecting with your higher self made simple & fast.......2001-08-20
BUY IT FIRST !!! OK, probably like you, I have bookshelves full of books that I thought would help me identify my issues/self limiting beliefs, understand where they came from and deal with them. This of course comes after giving up on stockpiling books about how to change others to get what you want. Finally you realize YOU need to give YOU what you want to be happy, but how? By page 30 of this EASY TO READ book, the essential ideas of tons of other books on the subject have been covered, simply and QUICKLY. It's like someone plowed through all the available info on the subject, distilled it for people with short attention spans and leads you simply and quickly to the points that you need to get, speaking directly and understandably to you. Written by husband/wife team who discuss very openly what their issues were in getting to the place we all want to get to (Part 1). Part 2 is how to inventory and deal with your own stuff. I could have saved a ton of money, frustration and time, had I bought this one first. Think I'll take their seminar as well, regardless of location or cost. These folks have it nailed and have made it as easy as it's going to get. If you are tired of [working with] this stuff, getting a little here and a little there and just want to finally get it done, then I highly recommend this book. Get this, the WORKBOOK version... that is if you are ready to DO your work and quit reading up on it.
Book Description
Before the Second Wave: Gender in the Sociological Tradition, 1/e features the writings of both women and men sociologists. Organized historically, this edited volume examines the way classical sociological theorists thought - and wrote - about issues of gender and human society.
Product Description
This abridged second edition is designed to meet the needs of undergraduate professors and students for a theoretically ambitious, doctrinally comprehensive, and fact-based exploration of issues of sexuality and gender in American public law. This new edition reflects legal changes in light of Lawrence v. Texas and other developments in this now-prominent field.
Average customer rating:
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Acquiring A Non-native Phonology: Linguistic Constraints and Social Barriers
Jette G. Hansen
Manufacturer: Continuum International Publishing Group
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover
Linguistics
| Words & Language
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Phonetics & Phonics
| Words & Language
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General
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General
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ASIN: 0826468624 |
Book Description
Is it "just words" when a lawyer cross-examines a rape victim in the hopes of getting her to admit an interest in her attacker? Is it "just words" when the Supreme Court hands down a decision or when business people draw up a contract? In tackling the question of how an abstract entity exerts concrete power, Just Words focuses on what has become the central issue in law and language research: what language reveals about the nature of legal power.
Conley and O'Barr show how the microdynamics of the legal process and the largest questions of justice can be fruitfully explored through the field of linguistics. Each chapter covers a language-based approach to a different area of the law, from the cross-examinations of victims and witnesses to the inequities of divorce mediation. Combining analysis of common legal events with a broad range of scholarship on language and law, Just Words seeks the reality of power in the everyday practice and application of the law. As the only study of its type, the book is the definitive treatment of the topic that will be welcomed by students and specialists alike.
Customer Reviews:
Just Words - Flawed but Important.......2006-05-11
Combining the "science of talk" with the legal system is relatively new field, both in the academic world, as well as for myself. Conley and O'Barr strike an interesting chord in the study of the law in claiming that the study of language is inextricably intertwined with legal processes. In analyzing research and historical theories, Conley and O'Barr attempt to strengthen the school of thought that places added emphasis on the study of what and how things are said, as opposed to more simplistic analyses of the law.
Yet in their discussion of the purpose of the study of law, language and all the assorted terms that come with them (power, equality, etc.), I found that Conley and O'Barr tacitly failed to prove their points, or provide substantiative evidence for their claims. From the very first chapter, the authors claim that "the fundamental question in American legal history (is) how a legal system that aspires to equality can produce such a pervasive sense of unfair treatment." Who are Conley and O'Barr to claim knowledge over the primary purpose of the legal system? Undoubtedly, there are many scholars who would contend that the purpose of the legal system is not to advocate for equality, but perhaps for equity. Still more would argue that America is not truly based upon foundations of equality, but a never-ending struggle for control over the power systems put in place throughout our nation. By treating the legal system as if it is the sole foundation for democracy in America, Conley and O'Barr forsake the utilitarian view of the law as quite important in controlling the structural and material makeup of our nation. This avoidance of the structural realities within the US legal system are apparent in several statements made by Conley and O'Barr about the inherent fairness of the law.
Conley and O'Barr state that everyone is afforded the right to vote, which is clearly not the case. Immigrants, ex-felons, and children are all denied the ballot box, making the idea of "universal suffrage" quite laughable. Furthermore, Conley and O'Barr repeatedly invoke the idea that the law is meant to distribute equality amongst the masses, an argument that they fail to prove in a context which considers alternative theories of the law.
This all being said, Conley and O'Barr do present interesting claims as to the field of language and law study, as well as the implications of combining the study of Law and Society with Sociolinguistic studies. I was particularly interested in the second chapter of Just Words as the discussion over the nature of the adversary process was quite remarkable. The idea that the legal system could facilitate the revictimization of rape victims isn't exactly a new idea, but the contention that the system itself disempowers victims through its very structure is quite intriguing and worthy of more social research. An interesting study could analyze the difference between the mostly adversarial nature of US courts with the mostly inquisitorial nature of European courts. In finding new realms of "truth," perhaps there could be better system of legal processes that benefit the majority of all. Clearly, the adversarial process analyzed in Just Words certainly does not provide evidence towards the existence of a legal system that values equality.
It's All in the Details (of Legal Discourse, That Is...).......2006-04-19
In order to fully understand legal discourse, especially in a setting where justice is supposed to reign supremely and yet, is wrought with inequality, one must first recognize the importance of words and the ways in which they are used to un/successfully advocate an individual's cause. This book presents a solid case with thorough explanations of the discrepancies that arise in approaches to utilizing this litigious dialogue. Through its common illustrations of everyday problems with simple legal matters due to inability to speak one's case, it leaves the reader struggling to figure out, not only how this communication crisis can be resolved, but also how our legal system reached the point of elitism that it has, in fact, arrived at. There are some questionable elements of the text; I found that Conley and O'Barr often portrayed women as much weaker and incapable individuals than they have proven themselves to be in society as of late, and I often questioned how they obtained some of their data and conclusions. However, I would recommend the book, as it is thoroughly thought provoking and well written.
Are Words Truly "Just" Words? .......2006-03-26
In anthropology, linguistics is the smallest branch of the "four fields" (including biological anthropology, cultural anthropology, and archaeology). In linguistics, only a small segment of researchers study issues pertaining to the courtroom and legal issues in general. However, despite the relative scarcity of material related directly to legal linguistics, John M. Conley and William M. O'Barr in Just Words: Law, Language, and Power demonstrate the importance of this emergent field of research.
Some of the findings discussed in this book are surprising. For instance, Conley and O'Barr contend that although the mediation process seems like it would be more congenial toward women, women on average receive less favorable outcomes through the mediation process than if they had gone to trial. Through reading this work, it becomes clear that the Western-style legal system works against minorities and women by giving preferential treatment to those who have mastered the language of dominance - mainly white educated males.
While social justice issues figure prominently in the book, the authors seek to provide material on all aspects relating to legal-linguistic studies. For instance, cross-cultural legal research and historical legal text studies are discussed as well as studies confined to the modern American courtroom. This book is ideally suited for anthropology, legal, and criminology students and lay readers alike.
JW
A female discourse?.......2006-03-25
A major point for Conley/O'Barr in this book is that the forms of discourse that they call most natural to women are subjugated in the legal system today, and therefore women are at a disadvantage. While I can see where characteristically feminine forms of discussion are generally not the very direct question/answer format of the formal trial in the American legal system, as a woman I felt very sold short by their own discourse on the subject matter. They repeatedly drove home the point that women are not assertive naturally and therefore are trampled in the male-dominated milieu of litigation. Running with this were the assumptions that most women now are like this, that women are less able to obtain higher education, and that even when the legal system tries to "accomodate" the female discourse via alternative dispute resolution, it still silences the voice of the woman in the case.
The authors tend to use court transcripts in which women are not just being cooperative with counsel, but being particularly subdued and submissive. The impression is not that the trial situation is intimidating for anyone trying to make his/her case, but that women are unable to sum themselves up succinctly, and this causes their stories not to be heard.
I was also surprised that, despite the relatively recent publishing date of the second edition, the authors still purported that part of this was due to women's limited access to higher education, even though at a considerable portion of American universities in this day and age women are the majority in undergraduate college classes. They position the women in these litigious circumstances as being fundamentally handicapped because they are presumedly not working, or at least not for as much money, and they will be "saddled" with the kids. I think that Conley/O'Barr consider only the extreme cases, not the cases of the modern woman who does work and bring in income, even cases where the woman may be the primary breadwinner. While I of course will acknowledge that there is still a significant portion of women who do choose not to work and this may be a difficult situation to handle in divorce, I still think that women are sold short as far as their abilities to take care of and defend themselves in this day and age.
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- Forever in Blue: The Fourth Summer of the Sisterhood (Sisterhood of Traveling Pants, Book 4)
- Four Plays: The Bald Soprano; The Lesson; Jack, or the Submission; The Chairs
- Free Fall (Revenge of the Sisterhood (Hardcover))
- Green Eggs and Ham and Other Servings of Dr. Seuss
- Hamlet (Folger Shakespeare Library)
- History: Fiction or Science? (Chronology, No. 1)
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