Happily Ever After: Walking with Peace and Courage Through a Year of Divorce

Book Description

From the passages of Scripture that helped her cope with and survive her divorce from professional cyclist Lance Armstrong, Kristin Armstrong has crafted a year-long daily devotional designed to help women through one of life's most difficult times. In this intensely personal book, Armstrong urges readers on with disarming candor. Each entry contains a pertinent Scripture with inspirational and empowering reflections from the author on topics such as forgiveness, trusting God, confiding in God at every stage of grief, and maintaining an open heart through the pain. A vital travel companion on the road to recovery, this book encourages readers to choose a path of peace in the wake of a painful experience.

Customer Reviews:

Words of Encouragement for All Disappointments.......2007-09-16

This may seem a little odd, but I am neither divorcing nor divorced; and I am a guy. I will tell you that this book of daily thoughts and meditations does have a perspective geared toward women and toward divorce. I would also say that men can benefit from this book too and about 95% of what is in the book is geared toward God's blessing and provision in any challenging situation or life disappointment. Ours happened to surround an adolescent daughter; and everything that accompanied that entire situation. If you think about it, there are lots of situations in life that involve unexpected change, loss, separation, etc. Divorce is only one of them.

I would recommend this book to anyone - male or female; who is or has walked through a "valley of the shadow". It will change you and help restore you. You will learn that no matter how hard you tried or what walk of life you are from, that you are not alone, and you are not the first person something bad has happened to. You will also learn, in small readings that take 3-5 minutes each day to get through, that you have a watchful, loving and caring God, who sees, knows, helps, and understands.

God bless you in your journey.

A great book to read during a difficult time.......2007-07-08

I am a fan of Kristin Armstrong's articles in Runners World magazine, and I had seen her on Good Morning America promoting this book. Two days after being diagnosed with breast cancer, I bought this book since I had heard that it was a great book for anyone going through a difficult time. I've been reading a few pages of the book every day, and much of what is written can be used to get through any tough time -- it's not limited to divorce or a broken relationship. Kristin is a great inspiration since she went through a terrible time of trial and used the time to delve into her spirituality, and she refused to wallow in bitterness and regret. The book has shown me light on some dark days.

Readings will help and encourage women as they journey through their first year of divorce.......2007-06-06

Kristin Armstrong's divorce from professional cyclist Lance Armstrong led her to write HAPPILY EVER AFTER: Walking with Peace and Courage Through a Year of Divorce, a personal 365-day devotional geared toward women (especially with children) whose marriages are dissolving.

"I never imagined that divorce would be part of my life history or my family's legacy," writes Armstrong, mother of three, whose marriage to Lance lasted five years. "I have walked this path, from the trenches of despair, through pitfalls of anger, bottlenecks of blame, along the cliffs of loneliness and fear."

As she navigated through her divorce, Armstrong kept a journal of the scriptures that were most encouraging to her. The result is this book, she writes in the introduction. The scriptures are a mixed bag, with such gems as the Isaiah 40:31 passage "Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength..." to more obscure ones like Amos 6:1: "Woe to you who are complacent in Zion."

The book begins on Day 1 as Armstrong acknowledges the tough road ahead. "This year will be epic for you...Every day, many times a day, you will make decisions that determine the rest of your story...Eventually you will be surprised to find yourself healed, whole, and happily living your brand-new life." As the devotional continues, she addresses difficult issues such as the need for forgiveness, letting go of retaliation and gossip, and letting go of the worry over preserving your reputation. "To practice silence and discretion in these situations is wise," she advises.

There is a welcome tone of quiet and resolve that permeates the pages. "The path of sour bitterness, crusty resentment, and cold regret breeds generations of despair. The path of righteousness grants generations of peace, quietness and confidence," she writes in an early devotion. Many readers longing for comfort and kindness will find them in Armstrong's words, as she reminds them in the persona of a close girlfriend: "Now is not the time to make sense of this mess.... Sweetheart, now is the time to trust in the Lord with all your heart."

There is an occasional question mark. Armstrong says in one essay that she believes it is important to experience your pain fully rather than numbing it with "remedies" --- therapy, coping pills, exercise, massage. Does she believe these are wrong things to do? Or that they are not enough? A little more context here would be helpful, as it would in the devotional telling of the story of a couple who refused to accept their cancer diagnosis: "She and her husband, Bob, are both cancer free today." (What about those who are not healed?) Occasionally, there is some repetition, such as two devotionals centered on the word "betrothed" (Day 251 and Day 92).

But overwhelmingly, Armstrong's soothing essays prompt women toward growth, resilience and an opportunity for reinvention while acknowledging their pain and need for God. Repeatedly, she affirms the reader and assures her of God's love: "(God) loves you, cherishes you, is faithful to you, is honest with you, and will never leave you." She includes glimpses into her own divorce, such as the pain of walking through grocery store checkouts and seeing the tabloid headlines, but laudably these are asides rather than the focus. One of the most moving devotions tells of her baptism as an infant, and then her "baptism" as an adult in a rainstorm.

What repeatedly comes through is her unquestioning faith that God will bring something good out of divorce. The devotions are peppered with the phrase, "I am blessed...." Her gratitude and seeming lack of visible bitterness keep the devotions centered squarely on God and healing. "It's natural to lament the death of a marriage, but in our grief let us not lose sight of or appreciation for the fact that we are still betrothed, still desired, still vital to the one Being who will never fail us."

Armstrong writes, "I found my unshakeable compass in the Lord... May you find your center, a strength and courage you did not know you could summon.... The terrain ahead is rough, but there are gifts hidden along your path of faith."

This moving and encouraging collection of readings will help and encourage women as they journey through their first year of divorce.

--- Reviewed by Cindy Crosby

A Wonderfully Spiritual Book.......2007-05-21

Kristin Armstrong has written a fantastic book that goes beyond being a spiritual devotional for women going through a divorce, it is a book for anyone who is facing hardships (and who does not face difficulties at some point?). In this book she bares her soul through sharing bible scriptures that helped her get through the tough times. In addition to the 365 scriptures, she shares her personal journey of growth during the year following her divorce.

I am neither a woman, nor am I going through a divorce, but I found her book to be inspirational and very uplifting.

I purchased the book because I know the author, and have a policy of reading any book written by someone I know....but this is really an exceptional work. I know you will enjoy reading this book.

not what I expected.......2007-05-13

I saw the author advertising this book on a talk show - it was not quite what I imagined. It was ok, inspirational, but it was written as a journal and was from a very religious perspective (something not mentioned at all or in the reviews I read).

Average customer rating:

KCS Hatchet
Engaging
Great for youngsters
Teachers love Hatchet!
A Must-Read Book

Hatchet
Gary Paulsen
Manufacturer: Scholastic Inc.
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Action & Adventure | Literature | Children's Books | Subjects | Books

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The River
Brian's Winter
Brian's Return
Brian's Hunt
Tuck Everlasting

ASIN: 0689826990

Book Description

Alone

Thirteen-year-old Brian Robeson is on his way to visit his father when the single engine plane in which he is flying crashes. Suddenly, Brian finds himself alone in the Canadian wilderness with nothing but his clothing, a tattered windbreaker, and the hatchet his mother has given him as a present -- and the dreadful secret that has been tearing him apart ever since his parents' divorce. But now Brian has no time for anger, self-pity, or despair -- it will take all his know-how and determination, and more courage than he knew he possessed, to survive.

Customer Reviews:

KCS Hatchet.......2007-10-06

"The nick wasn't large, but the hatchet was important to him, was his only tool, and he should not have thrown it. He should have kept it in his hand, and make a tool of some kind to help push an animal away. Make a staff, he thought, or a lance, and save the hachet."
Brian is a 13 year old boy who's parents got devorced. He was to stay through the school year with his mom and the summer with his dad, on his flight to visit his dad in a small plane, the pilot had a heart attack, jurked his leg and set a new route for the plane to nowhere. Brian, being the only one on the plane besides the pilot could not fly, and the plane crashed leaving the pilot dead and Brian stranded with only a hatchet for a tool. Brian must learn to survive in the wilderness, alone.
This realistic fictional book teaches you to never give up. If Brian had given up on getting food, building a shelter, or hope that some one will find him, he would have died. I really liked Hatchet and you if you read it, you will love it too. This book is for every person, adult or child, because of the authors way to pull you into the book.

Engaging.......2007-09-11

I read this book in trying to find one that might interest my son. It was just what I needed. My son loves hunting and fishing. He enjoys reading when the right material comes along. Hatched grabbed his attention and we have had Gary Paulsen books in our home ever since. It is a book about living in the wilderness and all that that entails. There is no offensive language or explicit language which has ruined many a good book. I recommend this to those who love the outdoors.

Great for youngsters.......2007-09-07

My 15 year-old goddaughter suggested that I read Hatchet. Clearly it is written for a young audience. I thought it was very, very good, adventurous, and a page turner. It's a story of success under very adverse circulstances. I've since given Hatchet as gifts to youngsters.

Teachers love Hatchet!.......2007-09-02

Brian Robeson, a thirteen-year old boy, is traveling to visit his father who was recently divorced from Brian's mother. The small plane he travels in crashes, killing the pilot and leaving Brian as the only survivor in the Canadian wilderness. The book documents his struggle for survival and dealing with his emotions.

Hatchet remains one of my favorite children's books-one that I felt compelled to read every spare minute until finished. Teachers continually laud this book not only for it's enjoyable reading, but for its many themes-divorce, survival, courage, resourcefulness, determination, confidence, self-esteem. It's also a great learning tool to teach different reading comprehension strategies.

A Must-Read Book.......2007-06-27

And that about says it. Gripping narrative, a quick read, a book about discovery and growth into self-reliance. The Brothers Karamazov it ain't, but this is a book every child and every adult should read.

Leaving Him Behind: Cutting the Cord and Breaking Free After the Marriage Ends

Average customer rating:

Fantastic
I needed this one
Wonderful Book! Finally
A Must Read for Divorcees
This is by far the most freeing book I've ever read!

Leaving Him Behind: Cutting the Cord and Breaking Free After the Marriage Ends
Sandra S. Kahn
Manufacturer: Ballantine Books
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

General | Self-Help | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

Divorce | Family Relationships | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books
Similar Items:

A Woman's Guide to Healing the Heartbreak of Divorce
When He Leaves: Help and Hope for Hurting Wives
Getting Up, Getting Over, Getting On: A Twelve Step Guide to Divorce Recovery
Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends, 3rd Edition (Rebuilding Books; For Divorce and Beyond)
Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life, Revised Edition

Accessories:

philosophy hope in a jar daily moisturizer
Braun IRT 4020 ThermoScan Ear Thermometer

ASIN: 0345364147
Release Date: 1992-02-11

Book Description

Based on over 200 interviews and 13 years of counseling experience, psychologist Sandra Kahn has written the first guide to offer help to women whose unresolved issues keep them emotionally bound to their ex-husbands, even years after a divorce is final.

Customer Reviews:

Fantastic.......2006-12-05

I would recommend this book above all others for women who have gone through a divorce and need help moving on. This book is practical and will help you on your journey to start a new life and get beyond the past.

I needed this one.......2006-08-15

I needed this book. I will probably refer to it often. There is no life after divorce if you don't move on. This book contained many eye-openers for me. Hopefully after reading this I won't sabotage my own happiness by staying attached to a man who is unable to make a committment to anyone other than himself. I've probably read at least ten books on survival and recovery from divorce. This one is helping me let my 32-year marriage die.

Wonderful Book! Finally.......2002-11-06

My parents divorced 2 years ago after being married for 30 years. After 2 whole years, my mom was still stagnant, as hurt and as mad as the day she filed for divorce. I've sent her numerous books, groups and web sites and she never got trough any of them. She's really not a reader so I thought she would not read it at all. The day I sent this book to her, she began reading it right there, cover to cover. She said it is the most relavant book she has read that she can actually relate to. That it help put a lot of what she was going through into focus. glad something my mom finally finds useful to help in healing and growing after life with my dad.

A Must Read for Divorcees.......1999-10-07

I interviewed the author recently, and was very impressed with her insight and understanding. If marriage can be a swamp, divorce is always a minefield, and Sandra Kahn ably maps out the danger points.

This is by far the most freeing book I've ever read!.......1999-07-10

I thought I had a life sentence with my X. He was and still is an attorney. He could manipulate me to death before during and after my marriage was over. A friend gave me "Leaving Him Behind." At last, someone knew how to finally end my marriage--years after my divorce!

Empty Arms: Coping After Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Death

Average customer rating:

Life Saver
Not impressed with the book.
Very helpful
Empty Arms
The BEST resource to grieving parents

Empty Arms: Coping After Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Death
Sherokee Isle
Manufacturer: Wintergreen Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby
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A Silent Sorrow: Pregnancy Loss - Guidance and Support for You and Your Family (Revised and Updated 2nd Edition)

ASIN: 0960945660

Book Description

A classic, this book was one of the first to offer support to families after their baby's death and to guide caregivers in their support of these families. With over 250,000 in print, this book touches the hearts of families at the time of their loss and over time as they heal. No matter how, or at what age or gestational age a baby dies, their parents are invited to be supported by Sherokee and her husband David, who themselves have been there. With compassion, guidance and practical suggestions are offered for the decision-making at the time (including why and how one might see, hold, and memorialize one's baby) and over time (such as how to handle such times as anniversaries, holidays, the birth of other babies in the parents close circle.) An excellent bibliography and resource section is included.

Customer Reviews:

Life Saver.......2007-09-13

I was so happy, I was going to have a baby. Then it happened. I didn't understand, why had my baby stopped moving. I thought, oh she's must be to big. However,deep down something felt all wrong. The next day I delivered a very perfect, beautiful, little girl. Only problem, she was stillborn. We were devestated, I became withdrawn & depressed. My sister came with,"Empty Arms" & I was a little disappointed in her. How could she think a book would make things better. She left it on my bedside table since thats where I always stayed. I don't know why I picked it up, but I did. It changed my life & made me realize I had to get up & live again. Today, after years of trying & the help of IVF.I have a beautiful little girl Isabella who is 4y/o. Her sister Sophia would have been 7.

Not impressed with the book........2007-05-20

This book is written as a personal advice journal. There are very few things that are of use to my husband and I in dealing with the stillbirth of our son after the funeral. Most of the advice is centered around dealing with the news itself, the delivery, notifying family and friends. If you enjoy a book that is like reading a personal diary of one woman, this book is for you. I personally did not care for it as the situations discussed were behind my husband and I by the time we read it. We found that "A Silent Sorrow" was a better fit for helping us handle long term issues beyond the first week.

Very helpful.......2007-02-08

This book was sent to me by the author, Sherokee. After I lost my two day old son Travis, I watched Sherokee on the Phil Donahue Show. I wrote her a letter about losing my son and how watching her speak about the loss of her son had helped me with my grief. She sent me a copy of this book.That was 21 years ago. I now use this book to help other parents in the Compassionate Friends group that I co-lead. If you have any friends that are going through this terrible loss, this is the book that can help them.

Lori in California

Empty Arms.......2007-01-06

This is an excellant book for anyone who has experienced a miscarriage, stillbirth, or the death of an infant. It focuses on all of the aspects of dealing with this kind of a trauma and helps one get in touch with ways to cope. I highly recommend this book for anyone going through this kind of experience and believe it is a must on the book shelves of pastors, counselors, maternity nurses, and anyone who encounters these kinds of situations. It is an excellant resource to distribute to grieving families.

The BEST resource to grieving parents.......2005-09-03

This book was BY FAR the best resource I found after my son was stillborn. It is an easy-to-read, practical guide to anyone who has suffered from an infant loss. After reading several other books this summmer, I also found that this book is referred to many times within others. Most support groups offer this book to bereaved parents more than any other. I can now see why.

Mars and Venus Starting Over: A Practical Guide for Finding Love Again After a Painful Breakup, Divorce, or the Loss of a Loved One

Average customer rating:

Much needed insight
Dr. Gray in another of his Mars Venus books
A new start is always good
excellent guidance for moving on/& letting go of pain/hurt
THE GOSPEL TRUTH AND "FOREWARNED IS FOREARMED"

Mars and Venus Starting Over: A Practical Guide for Finding Love Again After a Painful Breakup, Divorce, or the Loss of a Loved One
John Gray
Manufacturer: Harper Paperbacks
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Interpersonal Relations | Relationships | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

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Mars and Venus on a Date
Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex
Mars and Venus Together Forever: Relationship Skills for Lasting Love
Mars and Venus in the Bedroom
Men, Women and Relationships: Making Peace with the Opposite Sex

Accessories:

RESPeRATE Blood Pressure Lowering Device
Airborne Effervescent Health Formula, Original Orange, 10 Tablets (Pack of 3)

ASIN: 0060930276
Release Date: 2002-06-18

Amazon.com

A breakup, divorce, or loss of a loved one isn't just the end of your relationship with that person. It's a continuation of every feeling of abandonment you've ever suffered. It's the loss of a system of approval you'd come to depend on. The struggle, as Gray points out in Starting Over, isn't just to find a new partner, but to get over those feelings of abandonment or loss or anger or whatever else gets dredged up by the end of a relationship.

Perhaps the book's most crucial chapter posits that the best way to get over the loss of love is to focus on the "love" more than the "loss." That may seem impossible, especially if the bum took off with your best friend, your life savings, and your Lyle Lovett CDs, but Gray didn't get to be a household name because the advice in his Venus and Mars books doesn't work. Remembering only the bad parts, Gray says, leaves you with an important part of your emotional being closed to new business.

As for the Venus and Mars stuff, that comes in the second half of the book, when Gray looks at how men and women start new relationships from different points of view, with different priorities (a man might want to have fun with no strings attached; a woman might carry with her a lengthy list of requirements for her next partner, a list that excludes virtually all available men).

If you've never read Gray's work before, you have to be prepared to check your cynicism at the door. This is earnest stuff, but it's also based on decades of experience counseling clients. He's not one of those photogenic, nine-times-divorced shrinklets who's telling you how to conduct your relationships without any real clue of what makes love last. This is the real package: nothing glib, nothing quick and easy, nothing you could've figured out from a "Love Is..." cartoon.

Book Description

Is it possible to find love again after a breakup, death, or divorce?

At the end of a relationship, it can sometimes feel like the end of the world. Devastation, loneliness, and bitterness are some emotions that exist due to a breakup, divorce, or the loss of a loved one. But with the help of this compassionate guide, Dr. John Gray expresses that you will survive and tells you how to find love again.

While the process of healing is similar with both sexes, there are distinct differences between the ways men and women heal their bruised hearts. In Mars and Venus Starting Over, Dr. Gray offers gender-specific advice on how to:

Deal with pain
Find forgiveness
Discover the strength to let go
Rebuild confidence
Rise to the challenge of finding fulfillment again

Filled with gentle guidance, healing practices, and compassionate wisdom, Mars and Venus Starting Over will help men and women explore the meaning of loss, find their way through the healing process, and discover the secret to moving on.

Customer Reviews:

Much needed insight.......2007-05-16

This book is insightfully written and is valuable in making relationships (of all kinds, not just romantic ones)work when dealing with someone who has experience the trauma of relationship loss. John Gray's entire series help take the sting out of interpersonal relationships by shining light on reactions that are not actually personal in intent but common across most people. This makes it easier to get along with other people and to avoid some basic male-female relating mistakes.

Dr. Gray in another of his Mars Venus books.......2007-01-20

These books are getting old. Same story as the last... same story as the next. Easiest way to get over someone is to get under someone ELSE!

A new start is always good.......2006-11-16

You don't have to divorce or die to start over. This is a good book to read for people who just need see their relationship from a different perspective or view. Relationships don't have to end to "start over". This is a book that can help you reevaluate your life and your relationships. The loss of a "loved one" does not always have to be permanent.

excellent guidance for moving on/& letting go of pain/hurt.......2006-09-29

typical John Gray take on male/female differences in dealing with loss, break-ups, or divorce, I found myself learning more & realizing what we tend to do without awareness when we have had our hearts broken & life altered, especially after any long-term marriage/relationship of 20+ years, it is not only a loss/death of a marriage, it is a total change of life-style, mind-set,& new set of rules, but what John Gray helped me to see is without healing properly from this event or any major loss, that if we don't grieve, & feel all the emotions from sadness, sorrow, fear, to anger we can't release the unhealthy part of that relationship & move forward to love & be more balanced in a new relationship, I think it will help me & others who have a desire to grow & be more balanced, without as John says by (giving too much or avoiding intimacy) I would advise this to anyone ready to move forward in their life with a open heart towards others.

THE GOSPEL TRUTH AND "FOREWARNED IS FOREARMED".......2005-09-24

This is the first book that clarified for me what men are doing when they use women the way they do after they get divorced. I'm a coach who works with midlife daters, and I see it all the time. I hoped it was just a few bad apples. Evidentally not. According to Gray, it's more the norm. That's like finding out there isn't a Santa Claus ... an illusion destroyed, but good to know, because a man "in transition" is simply not available emotionally, yet can be the most romantic and ardent seducer the woman has ever had, so she never sees it coming. He gets his ego back together and drops her like a hot potato.

The term "on the rebound" has been with us for decades. Believe it.

This book explains what we see -- men getting attached to the first woman who shows up at their wife's funeral "with a casserole and cleavage", so good women, women who think that's rude don't have a chance...but Gray clarifies what they're missing isn't much. (You tell me some go ahead and marry? Yes, and this might explain the 70% second-marriage divorce rate.)

Women tell me how frustrating the timing is because men grab a woman so fast, or more specifically, "the love of a woman," as Gray calls it, his need being what's important, not what woman it may be.

So what do we have here? Women, who tend, as Gray says, to wait too long coming upon men who are moving too fast ... there's an element of desperation there, and ... IT CERTAINLY EXPLAINS A LOT.

This is not a pretty picture, as other reviewers have mentioned.

Do women do this? Yes, but it isn't damaging because men are the recipients, and men typically can get sexually involved without getting emotionally involved. And ... women are more willing not to "use" men during this period, realizing they have nothing to offer (until healed). (As we learn in EQ research, women test higher in "social responsibility.") As Gray points out. What women and men both need to do is to pray for good timing (j.k., but hey, it IS IS "mars and venus" remember?)

Is this book helpful? Definitely. And about like a spoonful of medicine. It is excellent, truly excellent about explaining the dynamics and you may not like it, but you may be very, very glad you read it. Knowledge is power.

Is the book helpful for changing what may be inevitable? Only with awareness. What we can learn from this book is what might work better: (1) women who don't wait "too long" spending their time taking care of people, so when they do meet someone viable, they're on the desperate-edge; (2) men who can control their desperate loneliness after their woman leaves them (too bad they don't appreciate it until it's gone) and, as gentlemen, 'use' only women during this period who agree to it (every pot has a lid); (3) ergo, as much honesty on the part of both parties as is possible ... but the thing is, desperate people prevaricate; (4) women realizing there are few women who can engage in recreational sex and not get emotionally involved; (5) learning the signs of a man or woman who is not available (read the book); (5) knowing what you want and what it looks like (read the book, get coaching). (And it's great on how to heal and move on.)

So many great men and great women meet one another at the wrong time ... when the other one is just "starting over." (Hey, let 'em cut their teeth on someone else. If you think you're "different," read the book.)

Single, Married, Separated and Life after Divorce

Average customer rating:

Awesome book by Myle Munroe
Giving Single a whole new definition
Good Insight
A TOTAL PERSON
Excellent Resource

Single, Married, Separated and Life after Divorce
Myles Munroe
Manufacturer: Destiny Image Publishers
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Love & Romance | Relationships | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

Marriage | Relationships | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

General | Religion & Spirituality | Subjects | Books

Devotionals | Spirituality | Religion & Spirituality | Subjects | Books
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ASIN: 0768422027

Customer Reviews:

Awesome book by Myle Munroe.......2007-09-29

I highly recommend this book for every walk of life wheather you find yourself single, going through a divorce,seperated or divorced... and married just like the title says. It is a book you will want to refer back to over and over again. Be blessed.

Giving Single a whole new definition.......2007-09-15

I am recently separated and after 22 years of marriage, the thought of being single terrified me. This book gave me a whole new perspective on what it actually means to be single, which is different than being alone. Knowing that we are all created to be unique, whole, "single" humanbeings first and that God made us that way, gives me the strength to stay focused on my healing as a person and not go searching for it with someone else. Being in a relationship with others doesn't make me a whole person and when I enter into a new relationship in the future, I plan on being a strong, unique, whole and single person first this time.
I highly recommend this book to those who are struggling with the myth that being single isn't the norm.

Good Insight.......2007-04-16

It is true that we need to learn to be whole before becoming complete. Everyone should grab this concept before getting married. I would highly recommend another book, "Why Singles are not Married & the Married are Single". Truly compliments this writing. Mike Marra really gets to the basics of each gender and thoroughly discusses modern day situations like no other I have read.

A TOTAL PERSON.......2007-01-05

This book teaches in depth about the various stages of relationships. Munroe deals very specifically on being whole and complete and how not to control people to meet your needs.

Excellent Resource.......2006-11-10

I would recommend this book for all ages, singles and married couples. It provides great insight for personal growth and maturity. It also helps point out potential pitfalls that befall many.

Singled Out: How Singles are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After

Average customer rating:

A great consciousness-raiser
Somewhat disappointing
"Don't worry, honey, your turn to divorce will come...."
Singe Edition
The Last Socially Accepted Prejudice

Singled Out: How Singles are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After
Bella DePaulo
Manufacturer: St. Martin's Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

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Living Alone and Loving It: A Guide to Relishing the Solo Life
Flying Solo: Single Women in Midlife
Single: The Art of Being Satisfied, Fulfilled and Independent
The Single Girl's Manifesta: Living in a Stupendously Superior Single State of Mind
The New Single Woman

ASIN: 0312340818
Release Date: 2006-11-14

Book Description

People who are single are changing the face of America. Did you know that:

* More than 40 percent of the nation’s adults---over 87 million people---are divorced, widowed, or have always been single.
* There are more households comprised of single people living alone than of married parents and their children.
* Americans now spend more of their adult years single than married.

Many of today’s single people have engaging jobs, homes that they own, and a network of friends. This is not the 1950s---singles can have sex without marrying, and they can raise smart, successful, and happy children. It should be a great time to be single. Yet too often single people are still asked to defend their single status by an onslaught of judgmental peers and fretful relatives.

Prominent people in politics, the popular press, and the intelligentsia have all taken turns peddling myths about marriage and singlehood. Marry, they promise, and you will live a long, happy, and healthy life, and you will never be lonely again.

Drawing from decades of scientific research and stacks of stories from the front lines of singlehood, Bella DePaulo debunks the myths of singledom---and shows that just about everything you’ve heard about the benefits of getting married and the perils of staying single are grossly exaggerated or just plain wrong. Although singles are singled out for unfair treatment by the workplace, the marketplace, and the federal tax structure, they are not simply victims of this singlism. Single people really are living happily ever after.

Filled with bracing bursts of truth and dazzling dashes of humor, Singled Out is a spirited and provocative read for the single, the married, and everyone in between.

You will never think about singlehood or marriage the same way again.

Singled Out debunks the Ten Myths of Singlehood, including:

Myth #1: The Wonder of Couples: Marrieds know best.

Myth #3: The Dark Aura of Singlehood: You are miserable and lonely and your life is tragic.

Myth #5: Attention, Single Women: Your work won’t love you back and your eggs will dry up. Also, you don’t get any and you’re promiscuous.

Myth #6: Attention, Single Men: You are horny, slovenly, and irresponsible, and you are the scary criminals. Or you are sexy, fastidious, frivolous, and gay.

Myth #7: Attention, Single Parents: Your kids are doomed.

Myth #9: Poor Soul: You will grow old alone and you will die in a room by yourself where no one will find you for weeks.

Myth #10: Family Values: Let’s give all of the perks, benefits, gifts, and cash to couples and call it family values.

“With elegant analysis, wonderfully detailed examples, and clear and witty prose, DePaulo lays out the many, often subtle denigrations and discriminations faced by single adults in the U.S. She addresses, too, the resilience of single women and men in the face of such singlism. A must-read for all single adults, their friends and families, as well as social scientists and policy advocates.”
---E. Kay Trimberger, author of The New Single Woman

Customer Reviews:

A great consciousness-raiser.......2007-10-05

I just finished this book (which I had checked out from the library) and plan to purchase a copy for re-reading. Recently and very unexpectedly divorced after nearly 30 years of marriage, this book came into my life at the perfect time. I (embarrassingly) recognized myself within the pages as one of those who had unknowingly had the cultural advantages and self-satisfied attitudes of couplehood/marriage.

This book has taken me to a new level of awareness and understanding of society's subtle (and not so subtle) messages about people who are single by choice or by circumstance. Ms. DePaulo's writing is clear, insightful, and humorous. (I found her humor in turns wry, sly, and playful, not at all sarcastic or bitter.) She is right-on in her analysis of cultural views of both singlehood and coupledom.

Aided by the perspective of this book, I am no longer simply accepting life as a single, but looking forward to creating a future as rich, fulfilling, and compassionate as possible. I now view my unexpected singlehood as a blessing that allows me to direct my love and energies into new avenues, including deepening my friendships and providing community service. This book has dramatically redirected my outlook.

Somewhat disappointing.......2007-08-01

A friend sent me DePaulo's chapter headings and they are hilarious! I looked forward to reading her book as an interesting exploration of the devaluation of singlehood. The book's concept is thought provoking. The writing, however, is sarcastic (to the detriment of DePaulo's message), at times embittered, and sometimes tedious (e.g., she'll describe at length another writer's work and then pick it apart bit by bit; she could have instead made her point more clearly and persuasively if she wasn't just reacting to other material). All in all, I was disappointed.

"Don't worry, honey, your turn to divorce will come....".......2007-06-23

DePaulo's book is brilliant, but it made me so angry. Angry at how many couples (from here on, "marrieds") stereotype, stigmatize, and ignore singles, of course! I already knew that marrieds feel sorry for singles because they're "incomplete," "lonely," and "unfulfilled." But not everyone wants the same thing, not everyone wants the conventional, predictable married life. I enjoy solitute tremendously, and marriage has never been my life goal. I'd rather focus on my career, which is more fulfilling than any relationship I've had. I also enjoy traveling on the weekends whenever I want, spending my money how I want, hanging out with single friends (fortunately I still have several of them). Most marrieds don't plan a weekend to go visit a good college friend (well, maybe they will if it's a couple and not merely a single person) and spend money "selfishly" on food, entertainment, and going to take photographs of old nuclear power plants or other unique trips. Does this mean I'm not grown up? no! It means I know what I like to do, so I do it. It's that simple. I feel like I have to put so much energy into defending my contented state, while marrieds are assumed to be content (although I know that isn't always the case, especially since marriage ends in divorce half the time).

I am almost 26 so it's still "acceptable" for me to be single, but people still ask why I don't have a boyfriend. "Don't you want to get married one day?" "Are you dating anyone?" "Don't you want to have children?" "You're attractive, why aren't you with anyone?" (there must be something wrong with you!) I used to feel inferior when asked those kinds of questions, especially in college when people were frantically getting engaged, much like a Baskin Robbins gets raided on the day they sell ice cream for 31 cents per scoop. Better get some before it runs out, ya know. But gradually, I became confident in my singleness by my junior year. This book really reinforced my feelings and it was as if DePaulo was reading my mind for most of it. Especially the chapter about why anybody should CARE if we're single of not? Get a life, marrieds..perhaps you should worry about decreasing your divorce rate instead.

I also liked the part criticizing how society gives a hard time to singles who still live with their parents. I still live with mine but am not "mooching" off them. I pay rent, my car payments, my car insurance, my phone bill, my college loans, and other expenses. I am saving up for my own condo (not because it screams "Single person!" but because it's the only thing I can afford in my area). I have a good relationship with my parents and I give a lot back to the economy, much like the Japanese women. I know that I go out and have a social life more than a lot of marrieds I know. And I'm not going out just to look for a husband either, grrrrr!

I have a good male friend in his late 30s. Some people have asked me if he's ever been married. When I answer No, one of them remarked, "There must be something wrong with him." Actually, there isn't. He just doesn't believe that marriage would improve his life. It's overrated and not a "fix-all" solution. He likes being single! He's happy being single. Is that so difficult to understand? Apparently, it is.

Sure, sometimes I think it would be nice to be married, to have that one person who is supposed to be your best friend, lover, etc. But I'm not going to go around actively looking for it because it's not worth it. If it happens, it happens, but I know I wouldn't mind being single for the rest of my life. I don't need another person to make me feel complete. I'm not going to waste time obsessively searching for the right person (dating is much more of a waste than being contentedly single). Ooh, I must be bitter with this attitude! Sometimes I am, but usually I just think, why try to change my life when I love how it is right now? And marriage could also make my life much worse - you never know if it will work out or not, and you could end up devastated by infidelity, abuse, etc (also true in serious unmarried relationships, i know, but people generally have higher expectations of a fairytale perfect marriage, especially with all that commitment). I know a few married men at work who are cheating on their spouses. Obviously, not all marrieds even respect marriage. How then, can this type of person look down on singles as inferior?

I was especially disgusted with Chris Matthews' treatment of Nader. How dare he imply that because Nader did not consume as much as the marrieds (such as no house, no car), that he was less of a person, less responsible? He is really a thousand more times responsible than Newt Gingrich or Bill Clinton, who have made a mess of their marital relationships. Nader is responsible enough to never embarrass a wife (or any other woman, for that matter) on international television. HE never made a mockery of the all-important marriage as others have done. And he is environmentally responsible for not owning a car because, wow!, he doesn't need one, which makes perfect sense (although not to Matthews). Singles rarely get credit for their accomplishments. I admire him and politicians like Condi Rice all the more because of their singleness.

How are people more "grown up" just because they're married? Nineteen year olds get married and are no more grown up than 19 year old singles. In fact, I argue that 19 years old marrieds are much more stupid and insecure than singles their age.

Have to mention one more thing. Once I was invited on a weekend trip where I would be set up with some guy. But I immediately turned it down because I was buying my new car that weekend. An organizer of the trip then asked me, "Which would you rather have, a new boyfriend or a new car?"

"A new car." Of course. I needed a car, but I didn't need a boyfriend...and still don't.

Singe Edition.......2007-06-13

I had been anticipating the arrival of Bella DePaulo's book for months and read it within a day upon receiving it. Ms. Depaulo could not have said it better when she indicates that not all singles are desperately waiting to be rescued by a mate. In fact many are completely satisfied in their solo state while those who are married may not necessarily be fulfilled. Increasingly individuals are choosing to remain single and Ms. Depaulo helps shatter the stereotypical portrait that has been painted. Bookstores today are replete with kitschy chic lit tales, dating propaganda or stories that glorify mommies but Singled Out is a power piece that raises the individual to the positive and realistic rank they merit. I am thankful for the contribution Ms. Depaulo has made and applaud the sincere and courageous stance she has made in putting forth her writings.

Sherri Langburt

The Last Socially Accepted Prejudice.......2007-06-11

This book is about one of the last forms of prejudice that is still socially acceptable, the stigmatization of people who are single. Contrary to some of the comments made, the author makes it clear from the start that this is not a book about putting down people who are married. The criticism is of married people and others who portray marriage as the only valid lifestyle choice for a mature adult and stereotype single people in such a way that they are portrayed as lesser human beings. I have observed that often, pioneers in exposing stigma of an out group get personally attacked for their "tone", especially if they present compelling arguments that are difficult to reasonably refute.

This is not a book about victims, but rather, a book about the resiliency of single people who have managed to prosper in spite of the negative stereotypes and discrimmination. In each chapter, DePaulo exposes and systematically refutes myths about singles that many in our culture have taken for granted. One of the most prevalent myths is that singles don't "have anybody" when research shows that always single people, especially women have the strongest social support networks. She illustrates how our culture has belittled any relationships other than marriage as unimportant when in fact, friendships and relationships with siblings are just as important and often longer lasting.

The book also exposes how legitimate research can be misinterpreted in the popular media, especially when the data violate cherished beliefs and assumptions. The truth is that singles comprise a higher percentage of households than the traditional married couple with children. While the traditional household is a fulfulling choice for some people, when it comes to marriage, given the high divorce rate and the growing percentage of people who choose to be single and remain happy, clearly one size does not fit all. It is time to stop blaming and pathologizing people for failure to conform to the expectations of society that we all must marry and begin to recognize that differences in civil status are often due to normal, healthy differences in personality and temperament. I have written a lengthier review of this book on my blog:

[...]

What About the Kids? Raising Your Children Before, During, and After Divorce

Average customer rating:

Incredibly helpful
The Divorce Facts of Life for Parents
Excellent book!!
Be careful of Wallerstein's work
Informative & helpful guide for divorcing families

What About the Kids? Raising Your Children Before, During, and After Divorce
Judith S. Wallerstein , and Sandra Blakeslee
Manufacturer: Hyperion
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

Divorce | Family Relationships | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books

General | Parenting | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books

General | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books
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The Truth About Children and Divorce: Dealing with the Emotions So You and Your Children Can Thrive

ASIN: 0786868651

Book Description

he Unexpected Legacy of Divorce gave us new and important insight into the long-term effects of divorce on children who have grown into adulthood. What About the Kids? is a new book that tells parents in unprecedented detail how to help their children over the long haul-what to say, what to do, what to expect-every step of the way. Tapping into the latest findings on how children develop, this clearly written guidebook helps parents understand why children at different ages react the way they do to divorce and how to head off trouble before it begins. The book follows divorce chronologically so parents can find advice for whatever stage of the experience they are in, including how to help older children many years after the breakup. nPart One: The Immediate Breakup What you need to know to get your own life back on track, what to tell the children, how children react, the reasons for their reactions, and thoughts on when is the best time to divorce. nPart Two: The First Few Years Setting routines, getting legal help, choosing the right custody to fit your child, finding support, and how to realistically follow the advice 'don't fight.' nPart Three: Assessing the Post-Divorce Family Five and Ten Years Down the Road Take another close look at yourself and your kids. Divorce requires a new kind of father, mother, and teenager. nPart Four: When Outsiders Join the Family Dating, sex, remarriage, blended families, holidays, and what step-parents need to know. nPart Five: Conversations for a Lifetime How to talk with your children as they enter young adulthood so they feel safe and free to seek relationships based on love, trust, and mutual commitment. What About the Kids? is the ultimate resource for any person wishing to ease the effects of divorce on children, and for all divorced parents who want to ensure their children's future happiness.

Download Description

"The ten chapters in WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS? give detailed scenarios and their alternatives, likely outcomes and surprises. They include: 1) The Break Up: This chapter focuses on the adult in crisis. 2) What To Tell the Children: These words will be remembered for a lifetime-how to get them right 3) The First Year: Maximum turmoil. Setting new routines and maintaining a connection with each child 4) The Dust Settles: The issues that come up in the first decade after divorce. 5) Co-Parenting: How to be good parents while living separate lives. 6) Teens in the Post-Divorce Family: Troublesome behavior, morality on trial, your child's future relationships and much more. 7) The Young Adult of Divorce: Spouses and negotiations for college and living expenses, abandonment issues. 8) Long Term Changes in Parent/Child Relationships: The members of divorced and remarried families can be both closer and more conflicted than in intact families-what the issues are and how to address them. 9) Second Marriages: Preparing a child for new relationships-what are the children most afraid of? How to be a step parent; why second marriages succeed or fail. 10) Bridging the Generations: Adult children of divorce and how they relate to their parents-the two way street."

Customer Reviews:

Incredibly helpful.......2007-08-28

I read this book four years ago, before my divorce. I credit the book with giving me a fairly level head throughout the entire separation/divorce process. The focus on how you and your ex will be joined at the hip for the rest of your lives for birthdays, graduations, weddings, etc. coupled with the authors' pragmatic advice made me realize what a long haul it was - I had to just get over all the emotional baggage and look forward to a life as a different kind of family, but a family nonetheless.

I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is having trouble in his/her marriage. My ex-husband was also willing to read it, which helped a lot. I really think this book helped me and my ex-husband figure out how to co-parent in a friendly, non-threatening way.

The Divorce Facts of Life for Parents.......2006-09-30

Judith S. Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee choose to cover a much wider timeline within the life of the divorcing family than most divorce books have traditionally done. And, unlike other divorce books that serve up a lot of reassuring words, but not a lot of day-to-day strategies for dealing with the fallout of marital breakdown when you're doing frontline duty in the parenting trenches, What About the Kids? Raising Your Children Before, During and After Divorce spells out the very messages that kids need to hear at each stage of the marital breakdown and at each point in their own development in order to feel safe and secure.

Wallerstein and Blakeslee have adopted the same warm and highly personal style that so engaged the readers of their previous books (most notably The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts). They have a real knack for zeroing in on the emotions that a parent is likely to be experiencing at any given point on the sometimes rocky path between marriage and divorce. In fact, they use the journey motif in the introduction of the book when they talk about how marital breakdown intensifies the challenges of parenting: "Parenting is always a hazardous undertaking. Much of the time it's like climbing a mountain trail that disappears and reappears, making you wonder if you're still headed for the top or if you're stranded on a cliff. But parenting in a divorced or remarried family is harder still -- it's like climbing that same trail in a blizzard, blinded by emotions and events out of your control. You have no clear path, no idea of where you're going. You may not even realize that you're lost."

If it's starting to sound like getting a divorce is life-long work, you've got that right, insists Wallerstein: "Since you have children, you're yoked until they're grown. Even then, you have to deal with graduations, weddings, baptisms, bar mitzvahs, and all the other rituals of family life....Some parts of marriage really do endure until death do you part."

Excellent book!!.......2006-07-07

This book is a must read if you are going through a divorce. I only wish I had found it sooner in the process. Ms. Wallerstein uses her years of experience and training to guide parents through common reactions of children by their age. Every therapist working with children of divorce should read this and recommend this to the parents for the sake of the kids.

Be careful of Wallerstein's work.......2004-02-27

Judith Wallerstein has been amicus curiae (a friend of the court) in many custody related cases but she is certainly no friend of children who would like to have both parents in their lives.

Her research, which was presented in a pivotal custody case in California (In re: Marriage of Burgess), was very influential in the court's decision. That decision has been widely criticized and has led to countless children in the state growing up without one of their parents, usually the father. In recent amicus curiae briefs filed by Wallerstein she relies heavily on anecdotal accounts of cases in which she played no part and disregards substantial amounts of literature that highlight the harmful impact of the loss of important relationships to a child and shows that children do much better with two loving, competant parents. She has even contridicted herself on positions that she originally took in the Burgess case.

Her research has been widely criticized in recent years and this book will likely be no exception.

Informative & helpful guide for divorcing families.......2003-05-28

As an adult whose parents divorced when I was about five years old, I can only imagine what my mother and father went through during that time. As a young child, I was too concerned with my own life and routines to even wonder how the divorce affected them. I do know that I had a very happy childhood, and I don't remember my routines being too disrupted.

My parents were among the millions of men and women who have decided on divorce. The process of divorce can be complicated as it is. But if there are children in the family, divorce can be a very traumatic experience for all involved. If divorce is not easy for the adults, why would it be any easier for the children?

In the book, "What About the Kids? Raising Your Children Before, During, and After Divorce," by Judith S. Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee, divorce is looked at as being new beginning, since everyone's lives will be different from that point on. How can parents protect themselves from being any less of the parent they were before the divorce? How do parents explain their divorce to their children, and how can they protect their children during each stage of their new lives? This book contains these answers and much more. Parents who are going through or have already gone through a divorce will learn the best way to take care of themselves, their children, and how to handle many of life's situations as a divorced parent.

MyParenTime highly recommends this book -- it is easy-to-read and is written in a non-discriminating tone. It provides helpful information to parents who are going through a difficult time in their lives. It also focuses on the children at different stages in their lives -- because parents are not the only ones whose lives will be changed forever.

The Co-Parenting Survival Guide: Letting Go of Conflict after a Difficult Divorce
Average customer rating:

A bit simplistic but a good help

A BOOK TO BE AVAILABLE ON DISPLAY IN EVERY LIBRARY

The book I wish I had written

5 gift copies (and counting)

Trust this author with your children

The Co-Parenting Survival Guide: Letting Go of Conflict after a Difficult Divorce
Elizabeth Thayer Ph.D. , and Jeffrey Zimmerman Ph.D.
Manufacturer: New Harbinger Publications
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

General | Social Sciences | Nonfiction | Subjects | Books
Marriage & Family | Sociology | Social Sciences | Nonfiction | Subjects | Books
Divorce | Family Relationships | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books
General | Family Relationships | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books
General | Parenting | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books
General | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books
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Accessories:

philosophy hope in a jar daily moisturizer

ASIN: 1572242450

Book Description

This book helps parents in the aftermath of divorce learn to sustain a healthy co-parenting relationship. “Conflict and Parenting” explores parental conflict and its effects on children, conflict resolution, and the importance of forging a co-parenting relationship. “Co-Parenting Guidelines” offers specifics for solving day-to-day problems, disciplining, and handling conflict during transitional times and special events.

Customer Reviews:

A bit simplistic but a good help.......2007-04-25

The book was a bit simplistic, much of the same information was covered in the New Hampshire Mandatory co parenting class. But it was still some very good advice.

Nothing ground breaking here but it's a good collection of what you probably should know.

A BOOK TO BE AVAILABLE ON DISPLAY IN EVERY LIBRARY.......2007-01-09

THE BOOK: THE CO-PARENTING SURVIVAL GUIDE: LETTING GO OF CONFLICT AFTER A DIFFICULT DIVORCE...
BY ELIZABETH THAYER, PH.D.
IN THIS ERA OF SPOILED BRATS (THE PARENTS), THIS BOOK WILL HELP WITH THE CONFLICTS OF TODAY!! WE ARE NOT LOOKING AT THE REAL MEANING OF TWO PEOPLE MAKING THE COMMITTMENT OF MARRIAGE!!! SOCIETY HAS PROGRESSED TO THE SIZE OF THE WEDDING, THE DREAM OF THE PERFECT WEDDING, NOT THE COMMITTMENT OF REALLY LOVING THE PERSON YOUR MARRYING. CONSEQUENTLY, PEOPLE MARRY AND HAVE CHILDREN, THEN WHEN THE STRAIN OF MAKING A MARRIAGE WORK BECOMES TOO HARD......THEN DIVORCE IS INEVITALBLE. THEN THE GAMES.... BEGIN, ONE OR BOTH PARENTS DECIDE THAT THEIR FORMER PARTNER IS NOT WHO THEY WANT THEIR CHILDREN AROUND.....SO, POISION THE CHILDREN'S MINDS AGAINST THE OTHER PARENT. THIS BOOK HELPS BOTH PARTIES REALIZE HOW TO WORK WITH THEIR OWN CONSCIENCE....AS WELL AS HELP MAKE THE CHILDREN AS COMFORTABLE WITH THE SITUATION (WHICH MUST BE FIRST IN THE PARENTS MINDS). DRAGING EACHOTHER THROUGH THE COURTS IS NOT THE ANSWER, COURTS JUST DEAL WITH WHICH SIDE AS MORE LEVERAGE, EVEN THE PSYCHOLOGISTS JUST PLAY WITH THE SITUATIONS. WE NEED MORE BOOKS LIKE THIS, AGAIN DISPLAYED IN EVERY LIBRARY IN THE UNITED STATES.

The book I wish I had written.......2006-01-09

I am a play therapist, author of "The Successful Divorce, In The Eyes of the Child" course and have taught parenting divorced for nine years. This is the book that says it all. The authors teach in clear logical manner how to co parent your children. They are sensitive to the pain both parents and children feel post divorce and teach how to proceed in parenting. I frequently use sections of their book in teaching to remind parents that they must still work together enough to meet children's needs. This is a concise book, no long drawn out narratives or tales of others pain... just the facts and how to avoid the pitfalls. I and the children of divorce, owe these authors a huge thank you. Their new book is also great,

5 gift copies (and counting).......2005-08-04

when i divorced two years ago, reasonably contentiously and with a four year old daughter, the best advice i got was to read this book. i did, with highlighter in hand, and found it absolutely invaluable. i continue to this day to consider it absolutely invaluable! such that, i just ordered a gift copy for my brother and his new wife, to help them with my niece and her co-parent. that gift brings the total i've purchased for others up to five. its an unfortunate reality that there will probably be more in the future, but the book helps immensely and so there will be gifts.

Trust this author with your children.......2005-04-13

I went through a high-conflict divorce in Connecticut in 2004, complete with restraining orders, police, and the whole 9 yards. As I saw the divorce approaching, I researched a great deal of divorce/parenting literature on my own, hoping to find a framework of something my (soon-to-be) ex and I could agree to work with, and I found this book. I read it and gave a copy to my ex. I also found an divorce/custody attorney who would focus on our children's interests, and his very first recommendation was to get this book and see Dr. Thayer in her practice jointly with my ex.
I'm grateful I had the expertise of Dr. Thayer to help me let go of conflicts I had with my ex. The guiding principle of the book and her joint practice (which is called The Peace Program) is to transform a personal, contentious relationship with an ex into a business-like relationship focused on the children's welfare. In a high-conflict divorce, this is a very difficult objective -- conflict can be blinding and all-consuming -- but it is possible, and the energy is of course better spent on the children. The book outlines suggestions to facilitate parenting business, such as a weekly parenting phone call (a business call) and a dozen Golden Parenting Rules. In the end, after the parents extinguish their fighting, the children get their parents back, and a good deal of their childhood back, because the parents choose to work together as co-parents. Through the 18 months I've been using this book, I find myself living in various chapters of it, depending on the evolution of my divorce. As the children get older, new issues arise, and the book remains on the top shelf of my bookshelf, where my most useful books reside.

Moving Forward After Divorce: Practical Steps to * Healing Your Hurts * Finding Fresh Perspective * Managing Your New Life

Average customer rating:

Great Parenting Tips!

Moving Forward After Divorce: Practical Steps to * Healing Your Hurts * Finding Fresh Perspective * Managing Your New Life
David Frisbie , and Lisa Frisbie
Manufacturer: Harvest House Publishers
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Divorce | Family Relationships | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books

General | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books

General | Spirituality | Religion & Spirituality | Subjects | Books
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ASIN: 0736917640

Book Description

Divorce is a time of loss—it also becomes a time of change with the possibility that each partner might move forward toward personal restoration and wholeness. But how? David and Lisa Frisbie, authors of Happily Remarried, share godly wisdom, sound advice, and encouragement to help readers:

heal from feelings of anger and abandonment
discover the sufficiency of God
develop interests, dreams, and skills
raise healthy kids alone or as a co–parent
manage money (or the lack of it)

This excellent resource provides great help for those with children and will guide any divorced reader to see the hope of a second chance as they learn to depend on God’s grace, sufficiency, and promises.

Customer Reviews:

Great Parenting Tips!.......2007-03-26

As a divorced mom, single parent, mother of two --- I read a lot. This new book has already changed the way I'm parenting my boys --- who are just now emerging into their teen years. Great parenting tips! This is one of the most positive, encouraging, "real life" books I've discovered. Extremely useful for anyone who is in their first 3-5 years after a divorce. Very well done!

Barbara Sheldon, M.S.W.
Currently reading: Growing Through Divorce

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