Book Description
“The end was near.” —Voices from the Zombie War
The Zombie War came unthinkably close to eradicating humanity. Max Brooks, driven by the urgency of preserving the acid-etched first-hand experiences of the survivors from those apocalyptic years, traveled across the United States of America and throughout the world, from decimated cities that once teemed with upwards of thirty million souls to the most remote and inhospitable areas of the planet. He recorded the testimony of men, women, and sometimes children who came face-to-face with the living, or at least the undead, hell of that dreadful time. World War Z is the result. Never before have we had access to a document that so powerfully conveys the depth of fear and horror, and also the ineradicable spirit of resistance, that gripped human society through the plague years.
Ranging from the now infamous village of New Dachang in the United Federation of China, where the epidemiological trail began with the twelve-year-old Patient Zero, to the unnamed northern forests where untold numbers sought a terrible and temporary refuge in the cold, to the United States of Southern Africa, where the Redeker Plan provided hope for humanity at an unspeakable price, to the west-of-the-Rockies redoubt where the North American tide finally started to turn, this invaluable chronicle reflects the full scope and duration of the Zombie War.
Most of all, the book captures with haunting immediacy the human dimension of this epochal event. Facing the often raw and vivid nature of these personal accounts requires a degree of courage on the part of the reader, but the effort is invaluable because, as Mr. Brooks says in his introduction, “By excluding the human factor, aren’t we risking the kind of personal detachment from history that may, heaven forbid, lead us one day to repeat it? And in the end, isn’t the human factor the only true difference between us and the enemy we now refer to as ‘the living dead’?”
Note: Some of the numerical and factual material contained in this edition was previously published under the auspices of the United Nations Postwar Commission.
Eyewitness reports from the first truly global war
“I found ‘Patient Zero’ behind the locked door of an abandoned apartment across town. . . . His wrists and feet were bound with plastic packing twine. Although he’d rubbed off the skin around his bonds, there was no blood. There was also no blood on his other wounds. . . . He was writhing like an animal; a gag muffled his growls. At first the villagers tried to hold me back. They warned me not to touch him, that he was ‘cursed.’ I shrugged them off and reached for my mask and gloves. The boy’s skin was . . . cold and gray . . . I could find neither his heartbeat nor his pulse.” —Dr. Kwang Jingshu, Greater Chongqing, United Federation of China
“‘Shock and Awe’? Perfect name. . . . But what if the enemy can’t be shocked and awed? Not just won’t, but biologically can’t! That’s what happened that day outside New York City, that’s the failure that almost lost us the whole damn war. The fact that we couldn’t shock and awe Zack boomeranged right back in our faces and actually allowed Zack to shock and awe us! They’re not afraid! No matter what we do, no matter how many we kill, they will never, ever be afraid!” —Todd Wainio, former U.S. Army infantryman and veteran of the Battle of Yonkers
“Two hundred million zombies. Who can even visualize that type of number, let alone combat it? . . . For the first time in history, we faced an enemy that was actively waging total war. They had no limits of endurance. They would never negotiate, never surrender. They would fight until the very end because, unlike us, every single one of them, every second of every day, was devoted to consuming all life on Earth.” —General Travis D’Ambrosia, Supreme Allied Commander, Europe
Customer Reviews:
Great guy gift........2007-10-09
I bought this book for my boyfriend, (a zombie lover) and he says it's a great book for guys like him. It's written very well a very interesting read, unlike any other book you'll buy.
the way the world was eaten.......2007-10-02
Brad Pitt's production company has bought the rights to this book but how he plans on doing the individual stories justice I don't know. This book impressed the hell outta me. It was so well done in the mock-u-mentary style that it had me planning on boarding up the windows if I ever saw someone even slightly limping thru my yard! It had great ideas if you have your zombie survival kit ready and at hand just waiting for the zed's to rise.
Incredible Alternate History Story! .......2007-10-01
I must begin this review by saying, I had no idea what to expect when I picked this book up!! It was recommeded to me by a friend, that knew I'm a sucker for a good zombie story! The subtitle of this book is "An Oral History of the Zombie War". And that's exactly the way it's written. A few years after the Zombie World War, a UN postwar Commission Report was written. The author (unnamed) was upset because the report he submitted was not the report that was presented. All the "human" element was removed. This book is a compilation of that human factor. Divided into sections detailing different aspects of the war, the author gives us a look at what happened through interviews with survivors. We learn a little about the initial outbreak of the Zombie epidemic that started in China and spread rapidly worldwide. We hear horror stories from survivors of the "great panic", and what each had to do in order to be telling the tale today. We learn about different countries and how they chose to turn the tide of the war. And we learn about heroes worldwide and how they stepped up to help their fellow man survive an attack like the world has never seen.
It's hard to review this book, because there are no central characters, no plot lines, no big finishes. It is written as if it is a documentary, detailing events and people all the way down to little footnotes of "historical" fact. And it is indeed chilling. Early on, I had expected this to be a funny book, taking a stab at the paranormal genre. What else would you expect from the son of Mel Brooks, but something of a parody?? World War Z isn't like that at all. It is a well-thought-out and carefully plotted book, that goes into such detail, it's hard to believe World War Z is just fiction!! Each little "interview" tells it's own little story, and Brooks ties them up nicely in his presentation. Not too much drama, but just the facts. Brooks also throws in a lot of political references in how he perceives the world would change if such a catastrophe occurred. Can you imagine a world in which Cuba is the new commerce capital? And yet, he does it so smoothly and believably, it's really hard to see it as fiction! Kudos to Brooks for such a unique and down-right fascinating book!! If there ever IS a Zombie epidemic, I know who's doorstep I'm going to show up on!! Max Brooks can lead us to Victory!!
Great Book - Serious Topic.......2007-09-27
For those of you thinking this will be a tongue in cheek ironic laugh of a book, let me tell you that this is not the case. It is writen in a serious, insightful and journalistic style, perfect for the topic. He has great ideas about how all this might take place, and there are some truly moving parts of this book, as well as the horrible and violent. Do you like end of the world scenarios? Grab this book!
"World War Z".......2007-09-27
The road to zombies is, evidently, a more slippery slope than I'd realized. Recently, I was in a Hamilton-Gibson ten-minute piece in which I played a dead person. The character opposite me was a bloody dead guy. At the opening night party, several of us got to laughing about how there just aren't enough plays where an actor gets to be a bloody dead guy. How we need some quality theater written about zombies. Imagine the witty dialogue-- Zombie #1: Mmmnnnggghhh! Zombie #2: Gnnrrrrrrr! There's some quality literature! Ha ha ha ha ha ....
Who knew how soon I would have to eat those sarcastic words (better than eating flesh, giggle-snort). On September 6, Max Brooks published his novel World War Z. "Z" in this case, is short for "Zombie". I started reading it soon after, thinking it'd be funny. I mean, zombie movies are mostly pretty cheesy, right?
I've never seen Romero's "Night of the Living Dead", or any of the films that followed. Certainly, I've read my share of Stephen King, and watched my share of slasher flicks. As a teen, I have to being somewhat scared by Freddie Kruger. But I was never a Goth girl, never into Anne Rice, and only watched "Resident Evil" because my boyfriend at the time had played the video game and wanted to see the film.
I picked up this novel because I thought it ironic to have just been joking about "zombie literature", and because I like survival stories. There are two post-apocalyptic, society-is-utterly-changed-by-sudden-catastrophe books that moved me and stayed with me over time. One is Stephen King's novel, The Stand (and for goodness' sake, read the book; don't see the mediocre movie!). The other was Whitley Strieber and James Kunetka's War Day. Both amazing stories came from sources I'd not expected. Third time's a charm, I guess.
World War Z surprised me. The writing grabbed me, and not the cheesy way a ghoulish hand from under the bed grabs the stupid heroine in a horror movie. I found the structure of the novel intriguing: Brooks shares the story of World War Z by "interviewing" the survivors ten years after "the Crisis" has passed. The interviewees are people who were, at the time, doctors, children, government officials, military grunts, cyberpunks, pilots, gardeners at fancy international resorts. They are Americans, Chinese, Russian, Mexican, Korean, British, French, Australian. While this style of storytelling is not completely original, it is compelling. I stopped chortling about reading about zombies (of all things! not serious literature, of course!), and started hearing what Max Brooks understands about humanity - as a whole, and as individuals.
I thought he had some profound insights about resilience and depravity, about the bald cruelty of survival tactics and the ridiculous amount of luxury we think of as necessity. Most of all, as someone who has fought my own version of life-or-death demons, I really agreed with what Brooks says about hope. Pick the book up yourself, and see if you don't find it hard to put down. Max Brooks may be a bit odd - he is the son of Mel Brooks, the director of many tongue-in-cheek films - but the writing here hits many issues right on the head. That's the only way to kill the undead, or the critics, if you can tell them apart.
Author of "Hobo Finds A Home" and Editor of "Of A Predatory Heart"
Book Description
Meet Denver, a man raised under plantation-style slavery in Louisiana in the 1960s; a man who escaped, hopping a train to wander, homeless, for eighteen years on the streets of Dallas, Texas. No longer a slave, Denver's life was still hopeless-until God moved. First came a godly woman who prayed, listened, and obeyed. And then came her husband, Ron, an international arts dealer at home in a world of Armani-suited millionaires. And then they all came together.
But slavery takes many forms. Deborah discovers that she has cancer. In the face of possible death, she charges her husband to rescue Denver. Who will be saved, and who will be lost? What is the future for these unlikely three? What is God doing?
Same Kind of Different As Me is the emotional story of their story: a telling of pain and laughter, doubt and tears, dug out between the bondages of this earth and the free possibility of heaven. No reader will ever forget it.
Customer Reviews:
What a Great Read!.......2007-10-10
This book was recommended by a colleague and I could not find it here in Key West. I ordered two copies from Amazon and gave them both to friends (after reading). I was moved to tears by parts of the book. If anybody has any concerns about homeless issues, this book will renew one's faith in what can be done. It is one of the finest books on homeless issues that I have read in many years.
Very touching.......2007-10-01
This is a very readable book. It is also extremely touching. Several times as I read,I found tears streaming down my face. It will restore your faith in mankind and that there is more to a person than meets the eye.
A must read book.......2007-09-29
I don't have proper words to express this "amazing" book.
I can now better understand how it used to be in Slave times,
and feel a better understanding of my own faith and life after death.
I cried at moments of revealation! Would help anyone become a believer.
This book changed my life!.......2007-09-25
It's very easy to forget that this is a true story - it is such an amazing story that it could be fiction! It's a beautiful, poignant, touching book and it changed the way I view the homeless and how I share my resources with others. LOVED IT and I've been telling everyone I know to read it too!!
book.......2007-09-18
I ordered this book for my husband who had heard it was wonderful. He thought it was the best book he had ever read and he highly recommends it!!
Amazon.com
"A green hunting cap squeezed the top of the fleshy balloon of a head. The green earflaps, full of large ears and uncut hair and the fine bristles that grew in the ears themselves, stuck out on either side like turn signals indicating two directions at once. Full, pursed lips protruded beneath the bushy black moustache and, at their corners, sank into little folds filled with disapproval and potato chip crumbs."
Meet Ignatius J. Reilly, the hero of John Kennedy Toole's tragicomic tale, A Confederacy of Dunces. This 30-year-old medievalist lives at home with his mother in New Orleans, pens his magnum opus on Big Chief writing pads he keeps hidden under his bed, and relays to anyone who will listen the traumatic experience he once had on a Greyhound Scenicruiser bound for Baton Rouge. ("Speeding along in that bus was like hurtling into the abyss.") But Ignatius's quiet life of tyrannizing his mother and writing his endless comparative history screeches to a halt when he is almost arrested by the overeager Patrolman Mancuso--who mistakes him for a vagrant--and then involved in a car accident with his tipsy mother behind the wheel. One thing leads to another, and before he knows it, Ignatius is out pounding the pavement in search of a job.
Over the next several hundred pages, our hero stumbles from one adventure to the next. His stint as a hotdog vendor is less than successful, and he soon turns his employers at the Levy Pants Company on their heads. Ignatius's path through the working world is populated by marvelous secondary characters: the stripper Darlene and her talented cockatoo; the septuagenarian secretary Miss Trixie, whose desperate attempts to retire are constantly, comically thwarted; gay blade Dorian Greene; sinister Miss Lee, proprietor of the Night of Joy nightclub; and Myrna Minkoff, the girl Ignatius loves to hate. The many subplots that weave through A Confederacy of Dunces are as complicated as anything you'll find in a Dickens novel, and just as beautifully tied together in the end. But it is Ignatius--selfish, domineering, and deluded, tragic and comic and larger than life--who carries the story. He is a modern-day Quixote beset by giants of the modern age. His fragility cracks the shell of comic bluster, revealing a deep streak of melancholy beneath the antic humor. John Kennedy Toole committed suicide in 1969 and never saw the publication of his novel. Ignatius Reilly is what he left behind, a fitting memorial to a talented and tormented life. --Alix Wilber
Book Description
The best-selling, Pulitzer Prize-winning classic hailed by The New York Times Book Review as "a masterwork . . . the novel astonishes with its inventiveness . . . it is nothing less than a grand comic fugue." A Confederacy of Dunces is an American comic masterpiece. John Kennedy Toole's hero, one Ignatius J. Reilly, is "huge, obese, fractious, fastidious, a latter-day Gargantua, a Don Quixote of the French Quarter. His story bursts with wholly original characters, denizens of New Orleans' lower depths, incredibly true-to-life dialogue, and the zaniest series of high and low comic adventures" (Henry Kisor, Chicago Sun-Times).
Customer Reviews:
imho....overated due to the book's backstory.......2007-10-08
I only got two-thirds of the way through this book because, basically, it just kept spinning its wheels. Also, the title character is 99% unsympathetic. He's such a friggin' ego-centric dolt that I simply stopped caring about anything to do with him. Yes, there are very funny parts...but not that many. I really feel this book has been hyped due to the fact that the book didn't get published until twenty years after the author's death (he committed suicide at least partly due to the novel not being published in his lifetime) and that the persistence of his mother in getting it printed really added to the book's mystique...which, obviously, has NOTHING to do with the actual book itself. I feel that the book would have never even been considered for a Pulitzer (which it won in the early '80s) had it been published in the author's lifetime. I actually would give this book two and a half stars, but that option isn't available.
A Confederacy of Dunces.......2007-10-04
This is a wonderful read. You take a fantastic and funny journey with a cast of characters that jump off the pages into the room where you are reading. I recommend this book as a gift, for a book club, for anytime. It is one you will read again and again.
Not as funny as they make it out to be.......2007-10-03
This book, i think, is generally over rated. Don't get me wrong, it is funny and memorable. However it was awarded the Pulitzer posthumously and I feel that it does not rank up there with the best work produced in the last century. It is likely that Toole might have produced such a book had he continued writing though. Perhaps his suicide has granted the book an aura of pathos that has helped it along the path to greatness.
The book tends to make caricatures out of the characters, including Ignatius (who is the only real character in the book). Because the book focuses on the personal scale of things, this defect in itself hurts it the most.
Would I read it again, probably yes, but I would have enjoyed it more had i not expected so much of it.
Hard to get into, but once you do..........2007-10-01
... It is worthwhile. This took me several weeks to become interested in because the main character, Ignatius, is initially unlikable and bizarre. I can see why this book was rejected when the author was alive; it is very unusual and not immediately gratifying. All I can say is read it.
Brilliant!.......2007-09-30
This is probably one of my all-time favorite books for reasons that are far too many. It is EXTREMELY well crafted and possesses an amazing sense of humor and satire; making it a classic. I was amazed to find a book with such brilliant humor and at the same time a very deep philosophy. A Confederacy of Dunces is more than just a laugh; but of course the true meaning of the book is only visible to those who seek--as with any masterpiece. The only downside is that this is the only work that John Kennedy Toole has left behind.
Amazon.com
Young Jeremy Jacob is plucked from obscurity while innocently constructing a sand castle and is thrust into a brand-new life as a pirate. Captain Braid Beard and his crew recognize Jeremy as an exceptionally talented digger and they happen to be in desperate need of a digger to help them bury a treasure chest. Jeremy thinks a pirate life sounds like fun, as long as he's back the next day in time for soccer practice, and so he goes along with the ragtag group of seafaring thugs (with hearts of gold, naturally). And while Jeremy adores the pirates' lack of table manners and opposition to vegetables, he comes to realize that a life away from his parents lacks some of the niceties to which he's become accustomed. Nobody tucks him in at night, for instance, and the only book available to read is a treasure map. Melinda Long's story, narrated with a sense of boastful exaggeration by Jeremy, is full of a sense of high adventure that's lovingly evocative of Robert Louis Stevenson's classic tales. David Shannon's illustrations, full of a goofy vibrancy, are a perfect accompaniment to the story. (Ages 4 to 8) --John Moe
Book Description
When Braid Beard's pirate crew invites Jeremy Jacob to join their voyage, he jumps right on board. Buried treasure, sea chanteys, pirate talk--who wouldn't go along? Soon Jeremy Jacob knows all about being a pirate. He throws his food across the table and his manners to the wind. He hollers like thunder and laughs off bedtime. It's the heave-ho, blow-the-man-down, very best time of his life. Until he finds out what pirates don't do--no reading bedtime stories, no tucking kids in. . . . Maybe being a pirate isn't so great after all.
Caldecott Honor-winning illustrator David Shannon teams up with witty storyteller Melinda Long for a hilarious look at the finer points of pirate life.
Customer Reviews:
Great illustrations and totally entertaining story.......2007-09-27
I bought this for my 3 1/2 year old grandson and he loved it. Whenever Grammy comes to visit I try to have scoured Amazon.com for what look like the best children's books and as he had loved David Shannon's books I bought this one as I knew the illustrations would be colorful. It is a fun story but the best part, it lends itself so well to playing imaginatively. Immediately after reading it, we went outside and I played cartographer helping my grandson draw our own treasure map with instructions how to get to the tree in his backyard where we buried a seashell. He was so excited to show his Mommy and his baby brother how well the map worked and where our treasure was buried. Great little story and we read it several times over the next few days...always noticing something else in the pictures we hadn't seen before and then making up our own stories about what we saw. So I bought "Pirates Don't Change Diapers" also and pirate tattoos to continue the saga. Lots of scope for the imagination here!
Great Pirate Book.......2007-09-19
My boys have two books from this collection and LOVE them both! Great photos and funny story.
great fun.......2007-07-16
Jeremy, probably feeling a little neglected on the beach, goes off with a band of pirates. He feels his parents won't mind as as long as he is back in time for soccer practice the next day. Initially, he finds this adventure to be exciting, liberating and great fun. Soon he realizes a pirate's life is not exactly ideal. There's no tucking in, no books, and no goodnight kisses! Of course, a storm must swoop down on the ship and the treasure is in peril. Jeremy has the ideal solution, which you'll love. This is a truly fun book for children ages 4-9. My students really enjoy this as a read aloud and then being able to revisit it on their own.
Away My Hearties to a great read.......2007-07-07
This is a great adventure book for younger kids. Our family has really enjoyed all the Pirate books and look forward to more.
great book.......2007-06-13
My son (4 yr) likes this book. It is illustrated well and entertaining.
Average customer rating:
- Great Story and Gorgeous Illustrations
- Darling book for older sibling
- very pleased
- silly book!
- Pirates Don't Change Diapers
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Pirates Don't Change Diapers
Melinda Long
Manufacturer: Harcourt Children's Books
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover
 Action & Adventure
| Literature
| Children's Books
| Subjects
| Books
Humorous
| Literature
| Children's Books
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General
| Literature
| Children's Books
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Picture Books
| Ages 4-8
| Children's Books
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General
| Ages 4-8
| Children's Books
| Subjects
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Fiction
| Boys & Men
| People & Places
| Children's Books
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Babysitting
| Issues
| Children's Books
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Shannon, David
| ( S )
| Authors & Illustrators, A-Z
| Children's Books
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How I Became a Pirate
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Do Pirates Take Baths?
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Fancy Nancy and the Posh Puppy (Fancy Nancy)
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Bad Dog, Marley!
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A Good Day
ASIN: 0152053530 |
Book Description
When the pirate crew turns up at Jeremy Jacob's house and accidentally wakes his baby sister, that wee scallywag howls louder than a storm on the high seas. Sure, there's buried treasure to be found, but nobody's digging up anything until Bonney Anne quits her caterwauling. So, quicker than you can say "scurvy dog," Braid Beard and his swashbuckling pirates become . . . babysitters? Blimey!
This hilarious companion to How I Became a Pirate reveals that minding the nursery can be even more terrifying than walking the plank--especially if you're a pirate.
Customer Reviews:
Great Story and Gorgeous Illustrations.......2007-10-02
A sequel to "How I Became a Pirate", this is a wonderful little story. The illustrations are excellent and provide such "scope for the imagination" that my 3 1/2 year old grandson and myself made up a lot of additional stories about the various characters using the pictures as inspiration. The map included is a great jumping off place to create your own map of where you would bury your treasure in your home, backyard, playground or school. In addition, as much as my grandson loves his "baby brother" (age 9 months), I think he sympathized with all the extra commotion having a younger sibling can cause. Definitely a charming story.
Darling book for older sibling.......2007-08-25
We have the first book, How I Became a Pirate, by the same author and loved it so when we saw this book we bought it. What a darling story with great art work. Our older child (four) loves it because he can relate to the storyline as our middle child (one) is in diapers. Very charming story about sibling interaction brought to you in a cute pirate adventure tale.
very pleased.......2007-08-04
I was very pleased with the condition of this product, as well as the timely manner in which it was delivered. I would recommend and use this vendor again.
silly book!.......2007-08-02
My children really love pirates and anything about diapers makes them laugh! Very silly, yet appropriate for children.
Pirates Don't Change Diapers.......2007-07-17
Excellent read aloud book. Illustrations are vibrant with great detailing for child to explore expressions and analyze actions. Text is engaging and encourages child to predict and anticipate.
Amazon.com
Book Description
Comedian Ian Coburn re-lives his funniest dating failures in the best dating advice book geared toward both sexes. Ian shares lessons learned from his embarrassing escapades and tackles some of the biggest questions men and women have about each other: Do guys know they favor one breast over the other? Why do women like jerks? Why don't guys call? Why don't women call back? What's the best way to approach a woman at a bar? He admits it's harder to be a woman than a man and tells why.
Ian's funny, edgy style and fresh advice, have enabled him to do something no one has done effectively previously--write a book about dating and sex that appeals to both genders. Unlike other authors, Ian is not just comfortable with his "game;" he is comfortable with women. His book spawned his syndicated dating advice column "Lunch is Not a Date" and has garnered great reviews from the pua community. It also landed him a spot on Lifetime's site as a dating expert. His stories and advice truly appeal to everyone. The book has ranked #1 in humor on Amazon.ca and other sites repeatedly. Publishers are beginning to translate it into other languages.
Ian's advice is appealing because it is fresh, original, and works. He doesn't lump all men and women into one category; rather, he examines the different types of each and how to work with their personalities, like diffusing the bitter friend in order to pick up the woman you like or why women shouldn't date their guy friends. While other experts prattle on about tired techniques to get a phone number, Ian tells you how to make sure the woman will return your call, not just get a number. It's no wonder this book is a big hit.
From the Publisher
Comedian Ian Coburn wanted to share with the world the zany stories that happened to him with women. They were too long for a standup routine, so he offered to write that routine in a book. We happily obliged.
It just so happens that Ian also wanted to share dating and sex advice that he's learned from his various escapades. After each story, he reviews what he learned, gives a few examples of how he put that knowledge to successful use in the future, and provides quick pieces of dating or sex tips between chapters.
Unlike self-help books, Ian's book is actually categorized as "humor." It has to be; it's simply too funny to be categorized in another genre. If you like standup comedy, you'll love this book. If you want excellent dating and sex advice, you'll find that inside, too. That's the real beauty of God is a Woman: Dating Disasters ... guys can pick it up without the stigma of buying a self-help book. (Guys don't like to buy self-help books. We all know that.)
From the Author
Go to the bookstore and you'll see a bunch of books on sex, a few books filled with advice for men on how to score beautiful women, and oh... ten thousand books filled with advice for women on dating.
The problem? They're all separate. Why? Don't this things need to go together to work? What good is knowing everything about sex if you can't get a date? How can you get a date if the book telling you to do "this and that" is in direct conflict with the book telling your date to do something else?
I always wanted to tell my dating failures onstage because they are very funny and informative. They are too long, though, to work in a standup routine, so I'm glad I was able to put them in a book.
From the Back Cover
Ever feel like God is against you when it comes to dating, sex and one-night stands? She is.
Comedian Ian Coburn relives his funniest dating failures in the best dating advice book geared toward both sexes. While Ian shares the lessons he learned from his embarrassing escapades in his hilarious standup fashion, he tackles some of the biggest questions men and women have about each other: Do guys know they favor one breast over the other? Why do women like jerks? Why don't guys call? Why don't women call back? What's the best way to approach a woman at a bar? Why are men so bad at reading signals? He also admits that it's harder to be a woman than a man and tells why.
Whether the story is about the time he was fooling around in his mom's car while he was supposed to be bringing Drew Carey offstage or how he graduated college still a virgin; or the time Jenny Jones grabbed his butt and hit on him or his downward spiral to behaving like a jerk culminating in a night on the town with Damon Wayans, it's all here--openly honest and hilarious--including Larry the Cable Guy's real name and what Nikki Cox is like in person. So sit back, relax, get ready to laugh and find out why God is a Woman.
Celebrity comments about Ian's comedy and writing:
"Very funny." -- Drew Carey (The Drew Carey Show)
"Very talented." -- Damon Wayans (My Wife and Kids)
"Funny and edgy; love the sarcasm." -- Nikki Cox (Las Vegas)
"Fun-nee!" -- Larry the Cable Guy (Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector)
"Captivating . . . intriguing." -- Joan Cusack (Various films)
Publisher and agent comments about God is a Woman:
"Too big for us; funny." -- Capital Books
"Hilarious . . . can't wait for it to come out." -- Basic Books
"Funny . . . made me laugh pretty hard."-- The Waxman Agency
About the Author
Comedian-turned-screenwriter Ian Coburn was one of the most highly sought standup acts on the comedy circuit throughout the nineties. He still boasts the industry record 106-straight weeks on the road. Ian has written two feature length screenplays for hire along with nine of his own. He writes fast, knocking off some topnotch scripts in less than a week. His manager is currently negotiating the options of two of his scripts while he is developing a third with Davis Entertainment (Predator; Flight of the Phoenix; I, Robot.) Ian is also under consideration for a staff writing position on a newly pitched television series. His scripts have won screenwriting contests, including HSI's competition.
Standup comedy and the road shaped Ian's life and personality... it also gave him some crazy dating stories.
Excerpted from God Is a Woman: Dating Disasters by Ian Coburn. Copyright © 2006. Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
From the Introduction
When I first started to date, I was the same as everyone when they start to date--confused and scared. Like most guys, I looked to magazines and movies for advice. Both sucked. Magazines told me all I needed were some cool clothes, a hot car, and the right cologne, along with a few million dollars to pay for all that crap. The articles were nothing more than guys on ego trips bragging about their sexual conquests; I learned nothing. Movies skipped the most important scenes, where the guy says all the right things to the girl. Instead, movies showed the guy meeting the girl, then cut to them in bed together; big f[...] help. To make matters worse, my mom gave me a book about chickens laying eggs and lambs suckling. Someone shoot me, I thought.
What I needed was a book with honest, adult advice--which wasn't afraid to get graphic when necessary--that taught me what to say, what actions to take, and how to read women. My sisters seemed to need similar information about guys. It would help if the stories were funny so I didn't feel so alone and self-conscious. Better yet, if some of them included celebrities, they'd be even more entertaining and really put me at ease. (If I knew celebrities struggled with sex and dating, I'd feel better about my own problems with them.)
No such book was ever published. Much to my surprise, as I got older I found I could use such a book even more. Then one day I woke up and realized: I could write the needed book. I had the celebrity stories. I had learned about sex and dating the hard way. I could tell guys how to get women. And I could tell women what men were thinking, as well as how to identify the good guys from the creeps. And I could do it all through stories of my funny failures.
Streeter Seidell and Sarah Schneider, CollegeHumor.com
"We loved it! The best 269 page book about dating disasters we've read this year!"
Actress Tina Kraus
"Funny!"
Comedian Rocky LaPorte
"Loved it! Ian's book is very insightful and learned a lot from it, mostly that women are crazy and Ian's a perv."
Mystery Method Forum
"Nothing short of hilarious. (on the advice) AWESOME stuff!!"
Legal Pub Blog Review and Discussion (60 comments)
"The new bible for college students."
Book Description
Comedian Ian Coburn re-lives his funniest dating failures in the best dating advice book geared toward both sexes. Ian shares lessons learned from his embarrassing escapades and tackles some of the biggest questions men and women have about each other: Do guys know they favor one breast over the other? Why do women like jerks? Why don't guys call? Why don't women call back? What's the best way to approach a woman at a bar? He admits it's harder to be a woman than a man and tells why.
Ian's funny, edgy style and fresh advice, have enabled him to do something no one has done effectively previously--write a book about dating and sex that appeals to both genders. Unlike other authors, Ian is not just comfortable with his "game;" he is comfortable with women. His book spawned his syndicated dating advice column "Lunch is Not a Date" and has garnered great reviews from the pua community. It also landed him a spot on Lifetime's site as a dating expert. His stories and advice truly appeal to everyone. The book has ranked #1 in humor on Amazon.ca and other sites repeatedly. Publishers are beginning to translate it into other languages.
Ian's advice is appealing because it is fresh, original, and works. He doesn't lump all men and women into one category; rather, he examines the different types of each and how to work with their personalities, like diffusing the bitter friend in order to pick up the woman you like or why women shouldn't date their guy friends. While other experts prattle on about tired techniques to get a phone number, Ian tells you how to make sure the woman will return your call, not just get a number. It's no wonder this book is a big hit.
Customer Reviews:
Book is hilarious, Column better for advice.......2007-09-24
The stories in this book are flat out hilarious. I read it twice in a week it is so funny. I started by reading his column 'lunch is not a date' and then read the book. The column has more in-depth advice, often taking a concept from the book and expanding on it. While it was fascinating to read the column then read the stories from which his wisdom came from, it would have been better to read the book first I think. Great stuff - I cannot stress that enough.
Too Much Empty Sex Leads to Nothing but Empty Sex.......2007-09-09
I discovered this book in of all places half-drunk at a bar - it was advertised on a poster over a urinal at my favorite watering hole. It claimed to be a funny book about a comedian's "hilarious escapades with women." It is. But it is much more than that. Unlike pua manuals it has complete, excellent advice both for meeting and dating women. It also has lots of good advice for women, too and is also a terrific story of growth. (The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists is the only other book advising men about women which is also a story; all other books are just manuals for tawdry sex.)
Ian opens the book early on with an observation, and perhaps the most important lesson in the book, and one which pua's and other authors like Neil Strauss and Mystery would have benefited greatly by experiencing, as well, but didn't. After working early in his career with a comedian who sleeps with 3 different women in one day, Ian remarks, "And he was still on the prowl! I learned that sex can become a drug for a lot of these guys...I never wanted sex to be like eating a donut or sipping a beer...Too much empty sex - sex for the sake of simply having sex - leads to nothing but empty sex; highly undesirable." He decided early on not to become victim to his own sexual desires - which has clearly happened to the pua leaders (you have to sleep with 1000 women or something to become one, which I don't even believe any of them really have.) He goes on to state that there is a difference between adoring women and adoring sex and that some men who adore sex are actually very hostile toward women. I would say this description accurately depcits popular womanizers like Neil Strauss, Mystery and Tucker Max, who all seem destined to having empty, meaningless sex for the rest of their lives.
Unlike pua's, Ian does not preach about prescribed lines or dozens of defintions; he is about theory - like how to flirt or develop a sense of humor - and gives clear examples of how he developed these skills and how all guys can. For instance, he breaks down humor simply and tells dorks directly why women don't get their jokes. "The roots of humor are relativity and logic. People have to be able to relate to the topic to find the joke funny, which is why many women don't laugh at Star Trek or Three Stooges jokes. Women don't typically watch these shows, so how can they find references to them funny?" He goes on to describe how to develop timing, delivery and all the elements of humor. He does this with flirting, breaking the ice, making a move, yada yada yada; Ian covers it all.
Unlike pua manuals, the advice is not simply a bunch of lines (Neil Strauss promises on his web site to give you all kinds of new lines and jokes if you pay him lots of money); instead, it is the tools to develop everything you need. Once you understand how to flirt, how to be funny, how to be confident, yada yada yada, you can do it anyway you want. Most importantly, Ian explains how women see things; how everything appears from their perspective. Pua books and web sites don't do that because they don't really know; they rely on their lines and techniques; they don't have clue what is actually going thru the woman's mind and how she sees things or even why their techniques actually work. A simple perusal of reviews by women here and Ian's site, where advice is posted for free in his column Lunch is not a Date and for women on Lifetime, and you'll see that women recognize, often reluctantly, that he knows what they are thinking and more importantly, feeling - "Women act on emotion, often making decisions based on how they feel, not what they think. Oftentimes, their minds later second guess the decision, resulting in them experiencing confused emotions. It must be a dizzying experience; and one which guys need to be sensitive to in order to maintain a relationship or even get a date (sometimes women avoid even meeting a guy because they are tired of experiencing the forthcoming mixed bag of second-guessing emotions - "Should I have given him my number? Will he call? Do I really want to go out with him?")."
A great read with lots of advice. No pitches for expensive pua seminars. If you're a woman, it tells you exactly what a guy thinks but be warned - it isn't pretty all the time, though; Ian becomes a real jerk before he turns over a new leaf and he shares all of that. When something starts as new, something else often comes along as the next best thing. Pua's started the movement of books and advice for guys about women and charging money for seminars. Ian's advice is in the book and supplemented on his web site with a free column; Ian is the next best thing. Hopefully, enough guys will discover him before becoming bitter sex addicts.
Also read The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists; the similarity and contrast between the two books is nothing short of fascinating.
The Book and Column are Gold, Pure Gold!!!!.......2007-09-07
I must admit this book and author has me eating crow. So many articles and books out there by purported experts are about a bunch of meaningless jibbersh, like getting a girl's phone number in 5 minutes of meeting her at a bar. Yeah, but how many of those women call back? Probably close to zero but the authors don't talk about that. It's bs. That's what I used to think. Then this week I read an article by Ian Coburn on ezine (man, I wish I could link to it but Amazon won't let me; just search his name or for this book and it will come up.) The article made alot of sense and told guys how to get a woman to return their call, calling out guys who try to get a number in 5 minutes as their focus. "Forget getting her digits. When you meet a woman you like, you want to do 3 things - be memorable, suggest a date, and create a reason to call." Find this article, it is gold! Then Ian's article on "The Flaw of Game" which defends the pua society turned me on to them. (I loathed the pua society before Ian's article explained to me that they weren't jerks, just guys trying to get better with women. He goes on to explain that their created terminology is what gets them looked down upon and misunderstood. He is right, the terms don't really mean what they sound like they mean.)
Basically what's happened with this book is that a comedian with alot of knowledge about women wrote a book telling the hilarious stories where he got that knowledge. It somehow became a dating guide (I agree with other college students that it is the new college dating bible) and Ian got an advice column Lunch is Not a Date. Then Lifetime hired him because he has great advice for women, too. I've been reading all of his advice and stories. It is gold, man, pure gold! Much better than anything I've ever seen and far more insightful.
I read The Mystery Method: How to Get Beautiful Women Into Bed and am reading The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists. Check them out, too, but realize, as Ian says, your goal should be to change who you are, not rely on lines and openings forever. Use them to get comfortable then move past them. Pua's don't want you to do that because they want to sell you their courses, which is a rip. Read the books. Find Ian's ezine articles "Get Her to Return Your Call" and "What About Her - The Flaw with Game Exposed". They are gold! Also, the second one has a great opener which is guaranteed to get the converstion going easily by wowing her. He calls it "2 to 9" and of course doesn't use it anymore because he is past game (i.e. needing openers, negging, etc), so it's available to the rest of us! (Ian's past lines and openers, onto what he calls the common-denominator. I'm telling you, read the book!)
So Funny.......2007-08-12
This book was so funny. I am doing some research for a class and this was one of the easiest books to get through because it was so funny. It reminded me of a show I saw as part of my research. My First Time in NYC. Both were so funny! Give them a chance.
Fantastic book!.......2007-07-18
This book is brilliant. Buy it, you won't be dissapointed. The stories are hilarious and the advice to men and women is second to none.
Average customer rating:
- I don't understand the critism
- If you think you have a drinking problem....
- It works if YOU work it
- Cult Propoganda similar to Scientology
- Big Book OK
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Alcoholics Anonymous: The Story of How Many Thousands of Men and Women Have Recovered from Alcoholism
AA Services
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ASIN: 1893007162 |
Book Description
It's more than a book. It's a way of life. Alcoholics Anonymous-the Big Book-has served as a lifeline to millions worldwide. First published in 1939, Alcoholics Anonymous sets forth cornerstone concepts of recovery from alcoholism and tells the stories of men and women who have overcome the disease. With publication of the second edition in 1955, the third edition in 1976, and now the fourth edition in 2001, the essential recovery text has remained unchanged while personal stories have been added to reflect the growing and diverse fellowship. The long-awaited fourth edition features 24 new personal stories of recovery. Key features and benefits ·the most widely used resource for millions of individuals in recovery ·contains full, original text describing AA program ·updated with 24 new personal stories
Customer Reviews:
I don't understand the critism.......2007-09-12
I don't really understand the lengths I've seen people go to to discredit this book or the 12 steps in general. I am not a member of AA but I have a family member who was saved literally from the brink of death by NA. The changes in her and in her life have been nothing short of miraculous. If it was a 'cult' that brought about this change in her then I say Thank God for the 12-step cult, for it is truly a force of good.
If you think you have a drinking problem...........2007-08-12
I'm a recovering alcoholic. This book saved my life.
If you think you MIGHT have a drinking problem, buy this book and read the first 164 pages. If you identify with what you're reading, then you might want to consider hitting a few meetings.
You have to get beyond the prose of the author. It's very 1930's. Since he knew it would be saving a lot of lives, he wanted it to sound really important.
Many like me read this book, and found that in many cases, it seemed like the book someone stole a story out of our own experiences.
It works if YOU work it.......2007-06-23
As an active, voluntary member of AA I must say that the program of recovery outlined in this book works *IF* you choose to work it. AA is not a cult, expects nothing in terms of finances and only SUGGEST'S a few very simple applications to lead a successful, joyous and sober life. AA is group therapy. It is a place for people to share their experience, strength and hope with each other so that they may stay abstinent from alcohol.
The "Big Book" opened my eyes as to how I was living. Reading the personal stories, being able to identify with the pain, the misery of alcoholism and the newfound hope has completely changed my life. I finally felt as if I were no longer alone. The 12 steps are only suggested and there is no need to believe in God at all. If you are an alcoholic or a family member or friend of an alcoholic I suggest you read this book. It is one of many solutions to tackle alcoholism and statistically AA has very high success rates. It works for some and doesn't for others just like everything else in life.
For those who don't think alcoholism is a disease, I suggest you write the American Medical Association and tell them they are wrong. Or feel free to bare witness to the blameless children, the destroyed marriages, the missed opportunities and the early grave that active alcoholism guarantees.
Cult Propoganda similar to Scientology.......2007-02-21
1. The Twelve Steps do not work as a program of recovery from drug or alcohol problems.
The A.A. failure rate ranges from 95% to 100%. Sometimes, the A.A. success rate is actually less than zero, which means that A.A. indoctrination is positively harmful to people, and prevents recovery. Some tests have shown that even receiving no treatment at all for alcoholism is much better than receiving A.A. treatment:
One of the most enthusiastic boosters of Alcoholics Anonymous, Professor George Vaillant of Harvard University, who is also a member of the Board of Trustees of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. (AAWS), showed by his own 8 years of testing of A.A. that A.A. was worse than useless -- that it didn't help the alcoholics any more than no treatment at all, and it had the highest death rate of any treatment program tested -- a death rate that Professor Vaillant himself described as "appalling". While trying to prove that A.A. treatment works, Professor Vaillant actually proved that A.A. kills. After 8 years of A.A. treatment, the score with Dr. Vaillant's first 100 alcoholic patients was: 5 sober, 29 dead, and 66 still drinking.
(Nevertheless, Vaillant is still a Trustee of Alcoholics Anonymous, and he still wants to send all alcoholics to A.A. anyway, to "get an attitude change by confessing their sins to a high-status healer." That is cult religion, not a treatment program for alcoholism.)
The A.A. dropout rate is terrible. Most people who come to A.A. looking for help in quitting drinking are appalled by the narrow-minded atmosphere of fundamentalist religion and faith-healing. The A.A. meeting room has a revolving door. The therapists, judges, and parole officers (many of whom are themselves hidden members of A.A. or N.A.) continually send new people to A.A., but those newcomers vote with their feet once they see what A.A. really is. Even A.A.'s own triennial surveys, conducted by the A.A. headquarters (the GSO), say that:
81% of the newcomers are gone within 30 days,
90% are gone in 3 months, and
95% are gone at the end of a year.
That automatically gives A.A. a failure rate of at least 95%. But the GSO does not count all of those people who only attend a few meetings before quitting -- they don't qualify as "members". (That amounts to "cherry-picking".) If we included them, then the numbers would be much worse.
First there is the propaganda technique of "everybody's doing it": "AA or a similar Twelve-Step program is an integral part of almost all successful recoveries".
That is a complete falsehood. The vast majority of the successful people recover without A.A. or any "support group". It's what "everybody" is doing.
Then they use the propaganda techniques of use of the passive voice and vague suggestions: "It is widely believed that not including a Twelve-Step program in a treatment plan can put a recovering addict on the road to relapse."
It is widely believed by whom? And what do those unnamed people know? What are their qualifications? Are they doctors? Medical school professors? Or salesmen for a 12-Step treatment center? Why should we care what some unnamed invisible fools allegedly believe, anyway?
The authors also use the propaganda technique of fear-mongering: you will be "on the road to relapse" -- you will probably die -- unless you practice Bill Wilson's Twelve Step cult religion.
And then the fluff-headed Pollyanna attitude is outrageous: Just going to the wonderful A.A. meetings is supposedly all that is needed to fix some alcoholics.
But since A.A. has a zero-percent success rate above and beyond the normal rate of spontaneous remission, that cannot possibly be true.
Big Book OK.......2006-12-15
Believe nothing just because a so-called wise person said it.
Believe nothing just because a belief is generally held.
Believe nothing just because it is said in ancient books.
Believe nothing just because it is said to be of divine origin.
Believe nothing just because someone else believes it.
Believe only what you yourself test and judge to be true.
I took many ideas from this book and applied it to my own life. It was very helpful
Average customer rating:
- Good delivery
- A HEMINGWAY CLASSIC ! ( the story is fascinating, and the symbolism offers wisdom)
- Hemigway at His Best
- Short but Good Enough
- The Old Man and the Sea, Ernest Hemingway
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The Old Man and The Sea
Ernest Hemingway
Manufacturer: Scribner
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The Pearl
ASIN: 0684801221 |
Amazon.com
Here, for a change, is a fish tale that actually does honor to the author. In fact The Old Man and the Sea revived Ernest Hemingway's career, which was foundering under the weight of such postwar stinkers as Across the River and into the Trees. It also led directly to his receipt of the Nobel Prize in 1954 (an award Hemingway gladly accepted, despite his earlier observation that "no son of a bitch that ever won the Nobel Prize ever wrote anything worth reading afterwards"). A half century later, it's still easy to see why. This tale of an aged Cuban fisherman going head-to-head (or hand-to-fin) with a magnificent marlin encapsulates Hemingway's favorite motifs of physical and moral challenge. Yet Santiago is too old and infirm to partake of the gun-toting machismo that disfigured much of the author's later work: "The brown blotches of the benevolent skin cancer the sun brings from its reflection on the tropic sea were on his cheeks. The blotches ran well down the sides of his face and his hands had the deep-creased scars from handling heavy fish on the cords." Hemingway's style, too, reverts to those superb snapshots of perception that won him his initial fame:
Just before it was dark, as they passed a great island of Sargasso weed that heaved and swung in the light sea as though the ocean were making love with something under a yellow blanket, his small line was taken by a dolphin. He saw it first when it jumped in the air, true gold in the last of the sun and bending and flapping wildly in the air.
If a younger Hemingway had written this novella, Santiago most likely would have towed the enormous fish back to port and posed for a triumphal photograph--just as the author delighted in doing, circa 1935. Instead his prize gets devoured by a school of sharks. Returning with little more than a skeleton, he takes to his bed and, in the very last line, cements his identification with his creator: "The old man was dreaming about the lions." Perhaps there's some allegory of art and experience floating around in there somewhere--but The Old Man and the Sea was, in any case, the last great catch of Hemingway's career. --James Marcus
Book Description
The Old Man and the Sea is one of Hemingway's most enduring works. Told in language of great simplicity and power, it is the story of an old Cuban fisherman, down on his luck, and his supreme ordeal -- a relentless, agonizing battle with a giant marlin far out in the Gulf Stream. Here Hemingway recasts, in strikingly contemporary style, the classic theme of courage in the face of defeat, of personal triumph won from loss. Written in 1952, this hugely successful novella confirmed his power and presence in the literary world and played a large part in his winning the 1954 Nobel Prize for Literature.
Customer Reviews:
Good delivery.......2007-10-01
It was a good product and it was delivered on time. The only thing i would like to recommend is that the next time stick my name on the box.
A HEMINGWAY CLASSIC ! ( the story is fascinating, and the symbolism offers wisdom).......2007-09-27
Ernest Hemingway's Pulitzer Prize winning novel, The Old Man And The Sea is the story of an old Cuban fisherman named Santiago, and the several days and nights he spends alone in his skiff, catching, killing, and bringing to shore, a large (bigger than his skiff) Marlin. Santiago has gone eighty-four days without a catch, and on this day he goes out farther than he normally does, and catches his prize (or maybe it's not a prize at all). The man-against-nature aspect of the story is intriguing in itself, but I've always seen this book as a wise parable that teaches a lesson, or even several lessons, in life. The fish is a symbol of a sought after prize, and the sea is a symbol for life itself, the old man has gone out too far, and so on (there's much, much more, but I don't want to give the story away). It actually can be interpreted many different ways, and because of this, it's like piecing together a different puzzle each time you read it. I have read this interesting story many times in my life (I've just finished reading it again), and I always find new ways to interpret it, and new ways to enjoy it. It's only 120+ pages, so it's a book that can be read without a great deal of labor. Hemingway's vivid imagery of the ocean and early 1950s Cuba is fascinating, and the simple, honest, and humble lives of Santiago and his devoted young friend, Manolin are refreshing and heartwarming. The Old Man And The Sea is a book that I have read for years, and one that I will continue to read for many years to come.
Hemigway at His Best.......2007-09-13
Having read and enjoyed most of Hemingway's major works, I recently decided to re-read this one. It was a wonderful decision.
"The Old Man and the Sea" excels at several levels. On the surface, it is a fine story about an old, down on his luck fisherman catching a huge marlin. But it also has deeper meanings including man against the elements, man fighting failure, man's relationship with nature etc. etc. It is also a story well and efficiently told. One of the great books of all time in only 120+ pages. It deserved the Pulitzer and all the other accolades it has received.
Short but Good Enough.......2007-09-06
Are all of Ernest Hemingway's books following For Whom the Bell Tolls that bad? No, and The Old Man and the Sea justifies that answer. This is the story of an old Cuban fisherman, Santiago, who has not caught any fish for eighty-four days and is seen by the other fishermen as unlucky. Even the boy that often fishes with him, Manolin, is not allowed to do so anymore by his father's authority, but still helps him out when he is not fishing. The old man goes out onto the Gulf Stream to make some catches and eventually has an arduous struggle with a large marlin. I am not going to give off any big spoilers (for now at least) in this introduction, but I will say one thing: this is a story about how life can reek of misfortunes but in the end, make prosperity.
Hemingway's novels do not just happen as any ordinary fiction based on some random idea, but rather they are inspired by his real-life experiences. What is The Old Man and the Sea based off of? It is based off two things: his time living in Cuba in 1940 and his favorite past experiences: sailing and fishing. The old man, Santiago, is believed to be based off of Cuban fisherman, Gregorio Fuentes. As another fact, The Old Man and the Sea - Santiago's story - was previously intended for a bigger project of Hemingway's: "The Sea Book."
Hemingway has a very unique way of fleshing out the book's situations with words. For most of the book, the old man is out at sea, alone with nobody to talk to, but does that mean he does not talk at all? No, it does not. Often at times, he will talk to himself, usually talking to his own appendages almost as if they had their own degree of sentience. For example, he would say to his arm, "How do you feel, hand?" (Hemingway 58) when it felt pain and then say, "I'll eat some more for you" (59) when he eats some of his recently caught fish to replenish his arms strength for bigger, upcoming catches. He also talks to the fish he has caught or is going to catch, whether they are dead or alive. He communicates with the marlin in his vicious struggle as if it were a sapient creature.
*Warning! Spoilers Ahead!*
Even after the monstrous fish is caught, he still communicates with it, and forms a spiritual bond with his prize. This is evident during the shark attack, which may have been another great battle for the old man, but results in the loss of most of the marlin's edible parts. He feels that he has failed to protect the fish, which was like a brother to him.
*Spoilers end here*
The Old Man and the Sea is a book I would recommend for anyone that usually has poor reading comprehension skills, like me for instance. In fact, I would recommend it for just about anyone. This book is fairly short but interesting enough to keep you engaged, though if you are reading this for school, you may be compelled to take day-to-day breaks with it. Also, this book is not divided into chapters; it is just one chapter the length of the whole book, so it might be a little hard to know when the best time to take a break is. If you think books of this size are just for pre-high school kids, I would say you are bit too judgmental. As they say not to judge a book by its cover, I should also say not to judge a book by its size. If you just started reading this novel, I will say it should take less than a week if you are not too break-heavy. As this is Hemingway's last major novel, Hemingway's literary career sure did end successfully.
The Old Man and the Sea, Ernest Hemingway.......2007-08-05
I'am really into classics but I would say this is an ok book not great. If it was longer I wouldn't recommend it but since it is so short (127 pages) it makes it an easy read. It's just a simple story about bad luck and when things start to turn around you lose again. I also got from it that you shouldn't worry about proving yourself to others just to yourself. This book reminded me of The Pearl my John Steinbeck, which is also a short story about courage in the face of defeat dealing more with greed. Read the book but don't expect a great ending with a meaning that you will always remember.
Average customer rating:
- A great book, but not exactly pleasant reading
- Lolita
- Erotic and erudite
- A case study of a pedophile
- I'll hear Irons in my sleep for some time to come
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Lolita
Vladimir Nabokov
Manufacturer: Vintage
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
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ASIN: 0679723161
Release Date: 1989-03-13 |
Amazon.com
Despite its lascivious reputation, the pleasures of Lolita are as much intellectual as erogenous. It is a love story with the power to raise both chuckles and eyebrows. Humbert Humbert is a European intellectual adrift in America, haunted by memories of a lost adolescent love. When he meets his ideal nymphet in the shape of 12-year-old Dolores Haze, he constructs an elaborate plot to seduce her, but first he must get rid of her mother. In spite of his diabolical wit, reality proves to be more slippery than Humbert's feverish fantasies, and Lolita refuses to conform to his image of the perfect lover.
Playfully perverse in form as well as content, riddled with puns and literary allusions, Nabokov's 1955 novel is a hymn to the Russian-born author's delight in his adopted language. Indeed, readers who want to probe all of its allusive nooks and crannies will need to consult the annotated edition. Lolita is undoubtedly, brazenly erotic, but the eroticism springs less from the "frail honey-hued shoulders ... the silky supple bare back" of little Lo than it does from the wantonly gorgeous prose that Humbert uses to recount his forbidden passion:
She was musical and apple-sweet ... Lola the bobby-soxer, devouring her immemorial fruit, singing through its juice ... and every movement she made, every shuffle and ripple, helped me to conceal and to improve the secret system of tactile correspondence between beast and beauty--between my gagged, bursting beast and the beauty of her dimpled body in its innocent cotton frock.
Much has been made of Lolita as metaphor, perhaps because the love affair at its heart is so troubling. Humbert represents the formal, educated Old World of Europe, while Lolita is America: ripening, beautiful, but not too bright and a little vulgar. Nabokov delights in exploring the intercourse between these cultures, and the passages where Humbert describes the suburbs and strip malls and motels of postwar America are filled with both attraction and repulsion, "those restaurants where the holy spirit of Huncan Dines had descended upon the cute paper napkins and cottage-cheese-crested salads." Yet however tempting the novel's symbolism may be, its chief delight--and power--lies in the character of Humbert Humbert. He, at least as he tells it, is no seedy skulker, no twisted destroyer of innocence. Instead, Nabokov's celebrated mouthpiece is erudite and witty, even at his most depraved. Humbert can't help it--linguistic jouissance is as important to him as the satisfaction of his arrested libido. --Simon Leake
Book Description
Awe and exhiliration--along with heartbreak and mordant wit--abound in
Lolita, Nabokov's most famous and controversial novel, which tells the story of the aging Humbert Humbert's obsessive, devouring, and doomed passion for the nymphet Dolores Haze.
Lolita is also the story of a hypercivilized European colliding with the cheerful barbarism of postwar America. Most of all, it is a meditation on love--love as outrage and hallucination, madness and transformation.
Customer Reviews:
A great book, but not exactly pleasant reading.......2007-09-08
I've read "Lolita" twice now, and it's very difficult for me to explain how I feel about this book. On one hand, I think it's brilliant. Vladimir Nabokov's amazing prose makes "Lolita" one of the most celebrated 20th century novels ever written. It's clever and shocking and absolute genius. However, the story also revolves around a pedophile/murderer, Humbert Humbert. In the first few pages of the book, we learn that Humbert is writing "Lolita" as a confession while he rots away in a jail cell. Humbert has always had an obsession with "nymphets," which is his affectionate term for sexually desirable girls ranging from nine to 14 years of age. He ends up marrying a woman just because he's hung up on her 12-year-old daughter, Dolores (a.k.a. "Lolita"). Humbert and Lolita eventually begin an affair, and Humbert's overwhelming desire for her ultimately leads him to commit murder.
Being the phenomenal writer that he is, Nabokov makes the child molester Humbert appear charming and almost sympathetic to the reader. This man is a completely wretched human being, but due to the author's exquisite manipulation of language, we're forced to view Humbert in a very different light. I think "Lolita" is a fantastic story, but the whole pedophilia aspect has always soured my experience of reading this book. I can appreciate "Lolita" for its innovation and brilliance, but it's just not the kind of story I genuinely enjoy reading.
Lolita.......2007-09-05
One of the best books I have read, by one of the best writers ever. Many are drawn to this book because of its forbidden and erotic nature. But once you begin reading it you become trapped in Nabokov's tale of love and obsession and can't let go. It is a literary masterpiece. Reading Lolita is something beyond being witness to what happens in the story as an outsider. The reader is eventually a part of the tale and it becomes a test of one's own morality.
Erotic and erudite.......2007-09-03
Of course many will find this book to be offensive, as middle-aged European Humbert Humbert, now in America, concocts a plan to seduce and entrap 12 ½ year old Lolita, the daughter of his landlord. For others, while the subject of pedophilia is undoubtedly troubling, what is most noticeable is the incredible depth and smartness of the writing - almost spellbinding.
There are very few sexually explicit descriptions to be found in the book. Far more time is devoted to the mental state of Humbert and his justifications, delusions, and stratagems in taking up with Lolita on a year-long cross-country journey. It is hardly the author's purpose to directly condemn Humbert's actions, instead, he steadily shows that obsession with a nymphet can have no other than an ignominious end.
There is no shortage of observations concerning the uniformity and ordinariness of American life in the 1950s, not to mention subtle commentary on attraction, desirability, and morality. The story line of the book is more than a bit farfetched, yet the book is incredibly erotic and intriguing.
A case study of a pedophile.......2007-07-21
I have read many reviews (not all 442) but no one seems to be picking up on something very important to this tale. Humbert was an unreliable narrator. It isn't that he was deliberately dishonest, rather, these were the thoughts a man trying rationalize his horrible choices and borderline delusional thought processes. His "explanation" of why he desired young females, using his memories of Annabel, were thinly constructed ways of vindicate himself to his readers and himself. Oh, of course! Isn't everything in life a result of childhood trauma? Doesn't that make it ok?
Delusional thoughts? A magazine ad posted on Lolita's wall contained a handsome man who, of course, looked as handsome as Humbert. That must mean she wanted him. A young girl sharing her sexual experiences at summer camp must be telling him because she desires him in the same way. In other words, Humbert is just an every day, ordinary pedophile who wants to see himself as a romantic hero, instead of a rapist
What has rankled me about some reviews is their vision of Dolores Haze. She has been described as manipulative, a willing participant in Humbert's folly, that she was the one pulling the strings. This is what her captor wants us to think in order to feel better about what he has done to her. Every now and then, it seeps into his narrative and his consciousness, that he has done something horrific to someone who was truly innocent. People have remarked that her willing acceptance of gifts in exchange for sexual favors must mean that she enjoyed the experience in some way.
Nothing could be further from the truth. Dolores was an orphan, she had no other visible family members or anyone else she could rely upon. Additionally, she had a captor who let her know, very forcefully, that he was all she had in the world, that she would end up in a horrible foster home if she didn't stick with him. What, exactly, would these readers expect a 12 year old, one who had just lost her mother, expect her to do? What she did was manage her situation the best she could. Her life in captivity was made bearable by magazines, socks, eating at the restaurant of her choice, a tiny amount of personal power in an almost powerless situation. Humbert also gets to feel better about himself, that he is treating her like a princess despite the fact that he is raping her on a regular basis. In the end, Lolita behaves just like any victim of sexual abuse. Her choice of friends is less than savory, worse than her captor and she is, for the most part, damaged beyond repair.
Nabokov is masterful because he has taken something truly ugly and horrible and made it feel compelling and authentic yet beautiful. There were points where I felt dirty and voyeuristic while reading of their trip across America. As characteristic of the poet, Nabokov vividly describes every emotion, obsession, sunset, frustration, landscape, hotel or anything else is such aching detail that it is easy to forget that Humbert is a common pedophile. The duel between his impulses and his conscience are amazingly heartfelt. I can imagine that Nabokov read many case studies of pedophiles and their behavior before synthesizing this into his poetic masterpiece.
I'll hear Irons in my sleep for some time to come.......2007-06-12
I first discovered that the well known name and label Lolita was not what I had thought while reading comments and watching interviews about my favorite Lolita (though that label really does not fit), Alizée.
I borrowed this audio version from the library and am quite glad that I did. Jeremy Irons gave a spectacular performance in reading the novel to me. His voice will forever color the way I see Humbert Humbert. I may have to go back and read it again some day, probably with an annotated version to get all those various references and especially the French phrases, but I just don't know if I could bear to go through all that again. Though, I'll definitely watch the newer movie with Irons as Humbert.
Yes, this is one of those books that is difficult to tell most people that I even read. Trying to describe it is likely to cause misunderstanding. As people have said throughout the decades, it is the witty quality of writing that makes the book so great and the expression of the incredible obsession of love and lust that consumed our protagonist. In the first half I would say that the story line was not really even that interesting compared to the more typical fantasy stories. It was really just so much of ordinary life, albeit not typical. By the end, I realized that was one of the things that is so incredible about the story. It's so real. By the end of the book, I have been convinced that to really have given it a chance, one must read it to the very last word (or listen to Jeremy narrate it in this case). This was some real 'quality' writing. It does beg the question, how does one come up with this stuff? This book will leave you thinking, for sure.
Book Description
For Maggies Sake by Lora Leigh: Maggies ex-lover thinks shes hiding information about the deaths of some Navy SEALs. But when a member of a notorious crime family captures and holds her hostage at gunpoint, he realizes hes wrong, and only he can save her life.
Customer Reviews:
Tempting SEALS novella and some filler.......2007-07-30
I bought this for the Tempting SEALs continuation. Although it was just a novella, I didn't want to miss reading Maggie's story. Lora Leigh continues to heat up the pages even with a much shorter story than Dangerous Games. The rest of the short stories were just some filler material which really didn't do much for me.
"For Maggie's Sake" by Lora Leigh.......2007-07-23
The third Tempting SEALs is a novella, "For Maggie's Sake". Maggie, a new widow who was introduced at the end of "Dangerous Games" (Tempting SEALs #2), had once dated Joe Merino, the top DEA agent who led Morganna's team in "Dangerous Games". After months of recently divorced Joe telling Maggie that he would never commit to or love a woman again, she finally took him seriously when he showed up at a society event she was covering for her newspaper with a stacked blonde female stranger on his arm. Maggie hadn't even known he was planning on attending. She got the message, and removed herself completely from his life -- even though he wasn't done with her yet. But she stood fast, trying to protect her broken heart, and six months later she got married, even though she doubted the wisdom of that step when her fiance told her a couple of days before the wedding that Joe Merino was his best friend. She was very lonely, though, and she felt she could come to love the nice man her fiance had portrayed himself as, so she went through with it.
It was the biggest mistake she ever made. She couldn't even leave her husband; she found that out three months into the marriage when she tried to and discovered he had damaging information about her father from his youthful years, and her husband was more than willing to blackmail her into staying with him. Now, two years later, with her husband dead and proven to be a U.S. traitor, she found herself under suspicion of being her husband's accessory -- because he had left journals behind saying that she was. Unfortunately, not only was Maggie completely innocent of all the suspicions being held against her, she also discovered, after a week in Joe's company in a remote safe house, that not only did she still love Joe, but she had never stopped. And Joe was one of the agents who thought she was lying about her lack of involvement with her husband's treacherous activities. To put the icing on the cake, the cartel to whom her husband had been feeding information thought she was lying, too...and they desperately wanted to get their unfriendly hands on her.
Note: Although, as usual, this is a sexually explicit Lora Leigh story, Joe is not into BSDM, unlike Clint in Tempting SEALs #2.
Check out the others in the Tempting SEALs series: The novella "Reno's Chance" in Honk If You Love Real Men (Tempting SEALs, Book 1); the novel Dangerous Games (Tempting SEALs, Book 2) and the novel Hidden Agendas (Tempting SEALs, Book 4).
Real Men Do It Better.......2007-07-05
Loved this and I really liked the lora leigh book. She writes some very steamy scences.
Four Wonderful Stories by four great Authors!.......2007-05-12
All four of these stories are wonderful. I bought the book because of Lora Leigh. Love the Tempting Seals Stories, Love her books. The other 3 stories were an added bonus, all great.
four fun lighthearted contemporary romances .......2007-02-11
"His Body Electric" by Carrie Alexander. The storm shut down Karen's phone sex business Cock-A-Doodle. It also brought Tomzak to her farmhouse seeking shelter. The attraction is electric.
"Bed and Breakfast" by Susan Donovan. High strung corporate executive Kate left Los Angeles for a spiritual retreat in the New Mexico desert. However, she arrives just before a torrent occurs only to find the Windwalker Lodge closed for renovation. Jorey allows her to stay, but he soon teaches her more on the impact of the spirit of the flesh has on the mind.
"For Maggie's Sake" by Lora Leigh. Joe believes the woman he loved and lost two years ago is involved with a dangerous drug lord who has killed some Navy SEALs. He reassesses his belief when his Maggie is abducted.
"Siren's Call" by Lori Wilde. When her grandfather broke his hip, Annie comes home to St. Augustine to keep his dive shop afloat. As she expects to return to Manhattan, diving instructor Duncan enters the shop. He knows he made the mistake of his life when he decided he was not good enough for his beloved Annie and ended their fling. Now he has a second chance to rectify his error.
These are four fun lighthearted contemporary romances starring reasonably developed likable protagonists.
Harriet Klausner
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