Tong Lashing: Sir Apropos of Nothing Book 3 (Sir Apropos of Nothing)

Book Description

It's hard to find a lesser man than Apropos: a con man, a knave, a scalawag...and those are his finer points. This time, Apropos winds up a stranger in a strange land called "Chinpan," populated by those who speak a different language and live by a code of honor, neither of which Apropos can comprehend. And yet it is here that he begins to examine his life and question whether he can aspire to become more than the hard-bitten cynic he's always been. He may yet be able to find a happy ending among a gentle people who are willing to accept him, faults and all, and he acquires a teacher who may even be able to set him on a road to true enlightenment.

But events conspire to pull Apropos in unexpected and dangerous directions, for his presence in Chinpan does not go unnoticed. What does the mysterious criminal organization known as the Forked Tong want with him? How do their plans tie in or conflict with the criminal Skang Kei family, and their enigmatic leader, Skang Kei Ho? What of the Mingol hordes? And what will be the fate of the Chin clan, including Double Chin, Cleft Chin, Kit Chin, and little Kit Chinette?

Customer Reviews:

Gah, what a lousy ending! .......2006-11-28

The first two books in the trilogy were great reads, but this one? I got the feeling that the author got tired of the whole series and wanted to get everything wrapped up what in whatever way he could. It shows.

Darkly humorous fantasy.......2006-09-03

Generally, in fantasy (among other genres), the principal characters fit into one of three broad categories. There are, of course, the heroes and the villains, and somewhere between the two is the anti-hero. Which is Peter David's character, Sir Apropos of Nothing? At times, he can be any of the three, which makes him all the more interesting. Certainly, in the third Apropros book, Tong Lashing, we get to see him at both his best and worst.

The novel begins with the protagonist drifting at sea, the only survivor of a shipwreck. This wreck was the result of a dangerous Dungeons & Dragons-like game that Apropos is forced into playing with some rather obvious parodies of Fafhrd, the Grey Mouser and Thomas Covenant. Now, Apropos seems doomed, but he is the ultimate survivor who eventually winds up washed up on the shore of Chinpan, a land that is a blend of China and Japan.

Apropos is taken in by a farming village and begins to find peace with their simple existence. Eventually, however, the real world intrudes and he is drawn into a conflict between the local emperor and a vast criminal/rebel organization. Even this has mixed blessings as Apropos shifts his allegiances from one side to the other and reaps the benefits, at least temporarily. He may even find true love, albeit with a woman who is distinctly evil.

This is dark fantasy, not in the standard sense of a supernatural horror story but because of the pervasive grimness that seems to follow Apropos. He is unable to be happy; any sense of contentment is marred by his worries about the next bad thing. Do the gods truly conspire against him or are his problems caused by his own dark nature? There is no simple answer.

Mixed in with all this darkness is a lot of humor (especially in the first half of the book). Much of this relies on puns that range from the clever to the ridiculous, but there is also plenty of good pokes at the conventions of the fantasy genre. Sometimes, the sillier aspects are an inconvenient distraction. Overall, however, this is a good book - a high four stars - that should please most fantasy fans. It is the third book in a series, however, and is better read as part of the set than as a standalone book. As a whole, this is one of the better fantasy series in recent memory.

Don't bother........2006-06-25

Stick with the first two--this one is mean-spirited, and the plot twist is creaky.

The End, For Now.......2006-05-04

"Tong Lashing" is the third book to feature the anti-hero Apropos of Nothing, along with roughly 115% more puns than is really necessary for anyone's sanity. (David is well-known for deploying both off-the-cuff standard low-brow eye-rolling puns and much more elaborate ones that take half a book to set up.) This current volume takes place in a Davidian emulation of ancient China/Japan (aptly named Chinpan), and Apropos runs afoul of the Forked Tong, the Skang Kei crime family, and the dreaded Anais Ninja clan (headed by the inscrutable Veruh Wang Ho).

David can truly break your heart, though, when he feels like it, which is once per book. And which happens here. The writing is effective, but the books have become very formulaic: pun, pun, snarky observations, Apropos runs away, everyone wants to kill Apropos, Apropos questions whether anti-heroism is an effective philosophy, he tries half-heartedly to do something good and is horrendously punished for it, a villain reveals an unexpected and poignant side, then the big heartbreak scene, and...END.

The page count could've been trimmed easily by dropping a good deal of the relentless internal monologuing over "Am I a good person or not, and is there such a thing as a good person, and why would anyone WANT to be a good person?" and so on.

The author definitely has skills and is not a little daring. I mean, in a single scene featuring three characters (immediately after a climax that some may find borders on troubling territory), he manages to allude to the Christian Holy Trinity, the atomic bombs Fat Man and Little Boy, AND the cult duo of Lone Wolf and Cub. But he needs to shake things up a bit. Every novel he writes, no matter the setting or cast, is largely the same novel. I want to see something different from him for once.

Future adventures of Apropos may not be forthcoming for awhile. David has noted that Pocket Books is not publishing new fantasy novels, but since they have the rights to the existing trilogy, he would have a hard time shopping a fourth book to another publisher. In the meantime, he intends to write some Apropos short stories, but whether those will ever see the light of day is unclear.

Not the best...but not bad.......2006-04-11

I'm a big fan of science fiction/fantasy humor like Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams. I have read and bought the entire Sir Apropos of Nothing Series and although this was my least favorite, I didn't dislike it. I loved the wordplay--better than in either of the other books, but the book seemed a little burdened with social issues. Plus, it looks like Peter David is looking to end the series here because he resolved most of the conflicts that have been present since book one. Unfortunately, some of them ended rather abruptly--unsatisfying! However, there's hope because of a tiny bit on the last page that drove me crazy after I finished the book and realized what it was saying. Not sure if this helps...but basically if you liked the other books in the series, you should give it a try!

The Woad to Wuin: Sir Apropos of Nothing Book 2 (Sir Apropos of Nothing, Book 2)

Average customer rating:

Not as good as the first
Filthy- dark- sad
Arrgh! Left me shaking my head...
More Pun Reading
THIS IS IT NOTHING MORE????

The Woad to Wuin: Sir Apropos of Nothing Book 2 (Sir Apropos of Nothing, Book 2)
Peter David
Manufacturer: Star Trek
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

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ASIN: 0743448308

Book Description

He's back. By (and in some cases, despite) popular demand, Sir Apropos of Nothing once again stalks the pages of literature, leaving unmistakable footprints wherever he treads. Apropos is the unlikely noble whose life began in the lowest of ways: as the result of a gang assault by a group of drunken knights on a helpless tavern wench.

Last time out, Apropos attempted to seize control of his own fate, and ended up with, appropriately, nothing. Time has passed since he fled the kingdom of Runcible, and Apropos leads a quiet existence as a tavern owner. All that changes abruptly, however, when the sorceress Sharee re-enters his life with the forces of the warlike Lord Bellicose hard on her heels. They want something they're convinced she has stolen. She tells Apropos that it's not true. Thus the medieval era's most notorious antihero suddenly finds himself once again in the middle of events of which he wants no part.

Apropos, a helpless cog in destiny's gear mechanism, is hauled into the middle of another unlikely adventure that finds him dying of thirst and exhaustion in the gods-forsaken desert known as the Tragic Waste. But death is far too simple a fate for Apropos. When he awakens, he is astounded to discover that he is now a fearsome scourge of the land known as Wuin...a deadly and despised "peacelord" (the politically correct term for "warlord") with tens of thousands of troops at his command, cities filled with helpless people trembling before him, and an adoring and sexy consort. How he came to this, what he will do once he discovers the terrible price attached to his new station in life, and how the mystic gem called the Eye of the Beholder fits into all of it are just a few of the challenges our reluctant hero will encounter along the Woad to Wuin.

Customer Reviews:

Not as good as the first.......2007-09-10

Still a wonderful tribute to dark humor. However, not as uproriously funny as the first.

Filthy- dark- sad.......2007-02-10

Although I really enjoyed the first book of this series-- I was less than thrilled with the opening chapter of this book. the bawdy parody of the Lord of the Rings was really over-th-top when it comes to good taste. It is really sad--- And the book just gets darker and darker.. and soon, it drops into a tumbling free fall in which the reader could care less what happens to anybody.

David's strength abound in the puns.

His major weakness was trying to write a followup to the the first book which was a smash homerun as far as I was concerned. This one is little more than an infield fly out.

Arrgh! Left me shaking my head..........2006-07-18

I so much wanted to enjoy this book, having thought the first in the series was excellent. Book 2 started out so well, but then it got to the halfway point where Apropos woke up in the desert and took a nosedive for me. Not that there wasn't a lot of humor, but I kept waiting to find out it was a dream sequence or Apropos was going to travel back in time and repair the problems that had been caused. I don't want to give away too much, because the book is worth reading just for the first few chapters. But keep this in mind if you do read it: what happens in part 2 really happens (in the fictional universe, that is), and will never be undone. Had I know that ahead of time, I probably woulkd have enjoyed it more.

More Pun Reading.......2006-05-29

Excellent Pun reading. Amusing, sardonic, but still mostly an adventure. Lots of modernisms as humourous asides. Some of his best work. The 1st was a bit better overall, but this has a great LotR parody intro, just enough to make fun without being too long and involved. There's lots of brutal action and dark comedy, and some fun situations.

THIS IS IT NOTHING MORE????.......2006-02-25

Loved the first two books but this ending left two much hanging.
I thought there would be more in the series. I am terribly disappointed. This was too much of the dark side for me.

Average customer rating:

Excellent Pun Reading
A fun and funny read, yet also poignant
Mostly good.
He Stoops To Run Away
meh.

Sir Apropos of Nothing
Peter David
Manufacturer: Pocket
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Mass Market Paperback

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ASIN: 0743412346

Book Description

They were dark and stormy knights...and when they had their way with a helpless tavern wench one terrible evening, they had no idea that the result of that twilight brutality was going to come after them years later looking to settle the score...

The "result's" unlikely name is Apropos: A rogue, a rascal, a scoundrel, a cheat...and those are his good points. Lame of leg but fast of wit, the only reason Apropos doesn't consider chivalry dead is because he's not yet through with it. Herewith, Sir Apropos of Nothing -- his story in the words of the knave himself.

Apropos, all too aware of his violent and unseemly beginnings, travels to the court of the good King Runcible, with three goals in mind: to find his father, seek retribution, and line his own pockets. However, Apropos carries the most troublesome burden a would-be harbinger of chaos can bear: He may well be a hero foretold, a young man of destiny. It is not a notion that Apropos finds palatable, having very low regard for such notions as honor, selflessness, or risking one's neck. Yet when Apropos finds himself assigned as squire to the most senile knight in the court -- Sir Umbrage of the Flaming Nether Regions, whose squires tend to have a rather short life span -- Apropos is forced to rise to the occasion lest he be dragged under -- permanently.

His difficulties are compounded when a routine mission to escort the King's daughter home after a long absence goes horribly awry. Suddenly Apropos finds himself saddled with trying to survive while dealing with a berserk phoenix, murderous unicorns, mutated harpies, homicidal warrior kings, and -- most problematic of all -- a princess who may or may not be a psychotic arsonist.

Featuring a hero cut from cloth similar to that of such entertaining blackguards as Blackadder and Flashman, Sir Apropos of Nothing is a skewed version of classic, mythic adventure that is by turns hilarious and frightening, slapstick and serious, and filled with drop-dead laughs and drop-dead people.

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The result of the midnight rape of a tavern wench, Apropos is an unlikely hero: rogue, rascal, scoundrel, cheat -- and those are his good points. Lame but cunning, he thinks that chivalry is not dead simply because he isn't finished with it. All too aware of his violent and unseemly beginnings, Apropos travels to the court of the good King Runcible with three goals: to find his father, seek retribution, and line his pockets. Instead he finds himself assigned as squire to the most senile knight in the court, Sir Umbrage of the Flaming Nether Regions. When he also encounters a berserk phoenix, murderous unicorns, mutated harpies, homicidal warrior kings, and a princess who may be a psychotic arsonist, Apropos must use all his wits -- and his flashing blade -- to survive.

Customer Reviews:

Excellent Pun Reading.......2006-05-29

Excellent pun reading. Amusing, sardonic, but still mostly an adventure. Lots of modernisms thrown in as humourous asides. Some of his best work. There's lots of brutal action and dark comedy, and some fun situations.

A fun and funny read, yet also poignant.......2006-04-15

The book is a lot of fun and the character is very interesting, a likable antihero who does some pretty devious things to his fellow "good guys" until his chance at redemption. The puns get tiresome, but the story keeps you hooked. My one complaint was that the book starts in media res. I would recommend reading chapters 2 to 11, then chapter 1, then 12 to the end. I wound having to reread chapter 1 when I got to the place it fit.

Mostly good........2006-04-11

Apropos of Nothing is the story of Apropos, a selfish, cowardly squire who goes on wild adventures and survives mostly because he is selfish and cowardly. He's funny, too.

The first chapter had me grinning from ear to ear. Then there were flashbacks, which kind of slowed it down. They were a little bit tedious to get through. Then we're back to the present, and Apropos has to escort Princess Entipy home to her parents. She may or may not be a crazy arsonist.

The book has several fantastically delicious moments. It also has some moments of frustration because Apropos is so incredibly awful. You know how in some horror movies you find yourself yelling at the screen "DO NOT GO INTO THE ATTIC!" It's like that, but more along the lines of, "DO NOT BE SUCH A JERK!"

Apropos really is a horrible person. Most of the time, we love him for it. He doesn't really rationalize things. He just accepts that he is kind of evil. But when he's not funny, he can be very frustrating.

The puns are atrocious, but in an amusing way.

The book is fantasy satire. It's mocking many of the clich?s of fantasy and fairy tales. Knights, princesses, and hero archetypes get turned on their heads.

I look forward to reading the second book in the series.

He Stoops To Run Away.......2006-02-04

This is a book, that, strange to say, fails because it succeeds. Peter David has created a medieval fantasy whose main character is someone genuinely unlikable. And rather than balance this out, the surrounding characters are all nearly as flawed. And he has done that so well that he has produced one of the most depressing humorous stories I've ever read.

Apropos is a child of the real brutality of his times. Born of one rape and orphaned by another, his childhood is a combination of the cruelty of others and his own jealousy of his best friend Tacit. Apropos is doomed to always see the underside of any situation, and the underside of any situation seems to come looking for him.

With his mother dead by a knight's violent lusts and his sparse inheritance stolen from him, Apropos makes his was to the court of King Runcible to demand justice. What he gets is a pat on the head and the offer of a job as squire to Sir Umbrage, once a glorious hero and now barely able to stay awake on his horse. Does Apropos righteously spurn the offer - nope, he grabs it up and demeans himself as needed.

All is unwell until Apropos is caught in an indelicate situation. Successfully lying and killing his way out of it he discovers that the real price of his actions is a special assignment. Apropos and Umbrage head out to fetch Princess Entipy back to the castle from the nunnery where she was deposited when her parents realized she was impossible to deal with. Now a young woman, she has gone from impossible to unbearable, and Apropos has met his equally, and now must get the conceited, vicious princess back to the castle in one piece. Even if he has to start a major war to do it.

And thereby hangs the tale. The problem, as I've stated is that this is a very well written story about people I would just as soon not read about. This is part satire, part atrocious puns, and part tragedy, and it is an uneasy combination at best. The book is still a good read, just not my particular cup of tea. Peter David has managed to go on to write sequels, so obviously I'm in a minority. Since there is no such thing as a rating for "really well done book I didn't care for" I'm giving it four stars, but be warned.

meh........2006-01-18

This book dissapointed me. I really like the Star Trek novels of David's that I have read and Knight Life is great (One Knight Only not as good as the first). The title alone of this book made me want to read it.

Having bought this book I had to read it, no matter how frustrated with it I became. It wasn't until about half way through it that I wasn't ready to strangle Apropos. He was forever ungrateful and annoying, and since the book is told as a first person narrative it was especially grating. Once he set off on his adventure (where he was constantly abused--perhaps that was why I liked it more) the pace picked up and Apropos' displeasure with the world had more grounding.

The puns and word plays were amusing, and the characters,once I understood a bit more about what Peter David was attempting to do with the book, were funny. Inspite of this being clearly a book leaning towards farcical, it is not, it has its serious moments that the reader has to question and wonder if everything will be alright (it isn't, just accept it and it makes the book that much easier to get through. Apropos' world is never going to be a happy one)

I was happier with the book when I finished it than when I started it, but I am not inspired to pick up its sequels any time soon.

Tong Lashing : The Continuing Adventures of Sir Apropos of Nothing

Average customer rating:

As good as the first? Hard to say.
a more introspective Apropos
The end to a wonderful trilogy
Oh Apropos, how I love you!
You'll never look at Asia the same way again.

Tong Lashing : The Continuing Adventures of Sir Apropos of Nothing
Peter David
Manufacturer: Star Trek
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

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ASIN: 0743449126

Book Description

He's back. Sir Apropos of Nothing, the best reviewed anti-hero in modern fantasy makes his triumphant return and gets a severe "Tong Lashing" for his troubles.

Yes, the hero who reviewers have described as "Swiftian" -- Locus, "Schopenhauerian" -- Kirkus and "Cyclopian" -- Kirkus again -- and many other big words, has survived the events in his previous outing, The Woad to Wuin, events that would have killed a lesser man. Which is impressive considering it's hard to find a lesser man than Apropos: A con man, a knave, a scalawag...and those are his finer points.

This time out, Apropos finds himself out to sea...literally. Yes, our rogue knight winds up adrift in hostile waters after a "friendly" game of chance with a wizard turns ludicrously deadly. But once again Death is thwarted (or perhaps it simply wants nothing to do with him) as Apropos winds up a stranger in a strange land. A land called "Chinpan," populated by people who speak a different language and live by a code of honor, neither of which Apropos can comprehend.

And yet in Chinpan, Apropos slowly begins to examine his life and question whether he can aspire to true greatness. To become more than the hard-bitten cynic he's always been. He may yet be able to find a happy ending among a gentle people who are willing to accept him, faults and all. And he acquires a teacher who may even be able to set him on a road to true enlightenment.

But events conspire to pull Apropos in unexpected and dangerous directions. For his presence in Chinpan does not go unnoticed. What does the mysterious criminal organization known as the Forked Tong want with him? How do their plans tie in or conflict with the criminal Skang Kei family, and their enigmatic leader, Skang Kei Ho? What of the Mingol hordes? And what will be the fate of the Chin clan, including Double Chin, Cleft Chin, Kit Chin, and little Kit Chinette?

By turns hilarious and tragic, Tong Lashing leaves no signature moment of adventure unpummeled. Mysterious shadow warriors, demented rulers, martial arts lessons, ritual suicide...all that fun stuff and much more in this, the latest (and last?) adventure of Sir Apropos of Nothing.

Customer Reviews:

As good as the first? Hard to say........2005-04-27

I won't bother going into the plot - read the book. I will say that I'm having a hard time deciding whether this book is better or worse than the first, which was incredible. This 3rd book in the Apropos series is also incredible. The second book wasn't that consistantly great but I still liked it. Anyway, here are the good and bad of Tong Lashing:

Good:
1) The poking fun of other fantasy literature was exquisite. It gave you that feeling of "hey, I read that book! I'm hanging with the IN crowd!"
2) Puns - everyone's talking about the puns. The puns are great. Sure, they make you groan, but groaning's fun, and if you don't like these puns then you need to groan up.
3) There's some INCREDIBLE insight into the human condition, morality, etc. I'd hate to meet the girl responsible for Peter David's ability to write about these things. In D&D terms, I'd say he probably has a 19 or 20 in his Wisdom.
4) This book is totally absurd.

Bad:
1) Others have harped on the ending. I don't QUITE have a problem with the ending. I think there's definitely room for another book, despite those others, who shall rename maneless. Still, if this really is the end, then Peter was having a BAD DAY when he finished the book. Talk about train-wrecks. I think I would have preferred an ending more in line with the other two books, overall. I will say that the ending was incredibly interesting.
2) There's this one part, and if you've read the part you KNOW what I'm talking about, which gave me the willies. I'm conflicted on whether this was actually a bad part, because it was also pretty funny. But I'm technically "afraid" to call it a good part :)

Ok, there weren't really any true "bad" parts, but what can I say - this book had it all. I think the first book will forever remain perfect in my eyes, but Tong Lashing kind of pushed the envelope.

a more introspective Apropos.......2005-01-18

Thanks to angering a powerful supernatural being (so what's new?), Apropos is shipwrecked and washes up in the alien country of Chinpan. Everything about Chinpan is different from what Apropos is accustomed to, from their looks to their odd over-developed sense of honor. He stumbles upon a small farming village, made up mainly of the Chin family, and to his surprise, makes himself at home with them as a simple farmer. He is encouraged to study with the village's revered teacher, Chinpan Ali, who begins to teach Po how to empty himself and find peace. Apropos finds himself in the unusual position of being happy-and he waits for the axe to drop. Which, naturally, it does.

Chinpan Ali is murdered and Po seeks vengeance-biting off way more than he can chew. Again, what's new?! He angers the Hamunri Clan, the criminal organization the Forked Tong, the Tong's Skang Ke family, the Anais Ninjas, and pretty much everyone else he encounters. The Imperior, the head of the Skang Ke family (Skang Kei Ho), an annoying person named Mitsu, and a former acquaintance also make Po's revenge-and life-more difficult and he goes from one bizarre situation to the next.

Like the first two Apropos books, Tong Lashing is filled with that bizarre humor that makes a Peter David book so darn good. Puns, the outrageous, satire, sarcasm and the just plain funny run rampant, making the reader groan and laugh at the same time.

Unlike the others, Tong Lashing is rather introspective. (Consider the dedication: "to all those who had the chance and passed".) Po begins to change, sometimes subtly, sometimes obviously, and to rethink his prior way of living. Whereas it used to be every man for himself and Po first, others start taking a more important role in his life.

While still enjoyable, and still a four-star book, I want to warn the reader that it IS different from the previous books. Not different in a bad way, but definitely different. There is a more serious tone to this book, with humor taking a back seat to Po's development, with an ending that leaves one confused and thinking, just like Po. If you've read the first two, you need to read this third-and possibly final-volume of Apropos' life.

The end to a wonderful trilogy.......2004-06-24

Although the second of this three books series is my favorite Tong Lashing was a wonderful read. After getting to know Apropos from the first two the third brings in more conflicts that he must face. Twists and turns in the story kept me wanting to read the book the entire day. David's brilliant sense of humor I commend once again; he is always leaving me laughing and has the creativity to bring in drama as well, I applaud. When you thought Apropos has been through just about everything David swings a few more curve balls to boggle the mind and say "What the?!..." This is a book I'm sure you won't be able to put down.

Oh Apropos, how I love you!.......2004-01-13

I have been a Peter David fan for a while and I think his Apropos books are hilarious and imaginative. And talk about wit! The third book is as wonderful as the previous two. The beginning starts off so amusing I was laughing out loud. And this keeps up in the middle. Towards the end I felt that the book was starting to let me down until the actual which redeemed the small setback.

This book is a must for any Peter David fan.

You'll never look at Asia the same way again........2004-01-10

I'm a big fan of puns. The more I groan, the better I like them. Peter David must feel the same way, because he's been responsible for a great many of the best groaners around. In fact, I haven't seen anybody make a pun like he has, because he not only makes the joke, but then he makes something useful out of it. It's a rare talent, and one that really makes his books worth reading.

Which brings us to Tong Lashing (see what I mean?), which is the third book in the Sir Apropos of Nothing series. The first book, also called Sir Apropos of Nothing, introduces us to the wonderful but extremely self-centered Apropos, a man who won't stick his neck out for anybody. David then gives us The Woad to Wuin, which brings Apropos to the land of Wuin, where he learns that he can sink to even further depths. David says in the acknowledgements that Apropos's future is up in the air. If that's so, it makes me sad, because he unfortunately didn't end it on a great note. Tong Lashing is still a very good book, but the tone is wildly variable, ultimately making for a disappointing finish.

I find myself with completely mixed feelings about this book, and I'm not sure if it's just me not getting the ending or what. The book is wonderful, with colorful characters, wonderful dialogue and witty asides (the book is told in first person, so the asides are written by Apropos). It's everything I loved about the first two books, and the jokes are even better then those. Up until the last 100 pages, I was going to call this the best of the three. Everything was just clicking, and I couldn't stop laughing, but yet being touched as Apropos learns even more about himself. He's always been unlikable, mainly because he is the complete anti-hero. In Tong Lashing, however, he starts moving beyond that, and showing that he can actually care for somebody.

But then the climax starts, the book all of a sudden turns very dark. This is a pivotal moment in Apropos's life, and it's very well done. He's brought down to the very bottom, the ultimate level of self-loathing as he realizes that he brought all of this death and destruction down on his friends. He's determined to avenge them, and he hatches a plan to bring down everybody in Chinpan. This is fine by itself. While the tone is dark (there are no real jokes by this point), it is very effective. However, then things go even worse, with a literally explosive climax that completely ruins the mood and tone of the book. I think David went way too far in this one, and if he's trying to make some point, it went completely over my head. This change in tone almost made my teeth clap together it was so sudden.

I can't say enough about how wonderful the rest of the book is, though. Apropos is his normal self, but he has grown and the change is welcome to see. He is still cynical, knowing that every time he is happy something's going to happen to bring it down. Mitsu is the daughter of the Imperior, impulsive and headstrong in a society where women are not even second-class citizens. She is a product of her upbringing though, and one of the sticking points between Apropos and Mitsu is her willingness to sacrifice her handmaidens when she is being punished. We find out the secret of Mordant, and how he is able to talk. The Imperior is suitably insane, and just when you think he's being stereotypically dumb, David pulls a twist out of his hat and shows us a villain who's both insane and kind of smart too.

And then, of course, there are the jokes and puns. You've seen a couple of them in this review, and I don't really want to reveal any more. Probably the best one is a take-off on the Ninjas of old Japan (if you have no plans to read this book, email me and I'll tell you what it is). Peter David has a wildly humorous way of writing, though he is definitely somebody you'll either love or hate. Basically, I can say that if you like puns, you will love his writing. The jokes come fast and furious, and I loved reading about Apropos's feelings on life in general. He talks directly to the reader, writing this in his old age (so yes, it's obvious that he survives everything). Apropos often expresses his amazement that he still has readers, which can be a dangerous thing for an author to do. But David handles it with aplomb, knowing that he's got his reader hooked.

The best part about his puns is that they are more than just puns. He makes the Forked Tong a legitimate (and dangerous) criminal organization. The Ninjas could have been used for a joke and then discarded, but they become an integral part of the plot, and characters in their own right. Minor characters, to be sure, but still at least with two-dimensional. The joke becomes part of the plot, rather than just a rim-shot. Even the mad Scotsman Ronnell McDonnell actually gets a mention after he has strutted across the stage. In fact, any gamer will love the sequence with McDonnell and the magical role-playing game.

Still, we have to get to the end, and I felt very unsatisfied. It hit me like a two by four to the head, but not in a good way. David had better write another Apropos book to wash the taste of it out of my mouth. It is effective in one way, however. Apropos ends the book truly as Sir Apropos of Nothing. And he's finally satisfied with that.

I'm not, however.

David Roy

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Tong Lashing : The Continuing Adventures of Sir Apropos of Nothing
Peter David
Manufacturer: Star Trek
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover
ASIN: B000MBX11W

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