History: Fiction or Science? (Chronology, No. 1)

Book Description

Recorded history is a finely-woven magic fabric of intricate lies about events predating the sixteenth century. There is not a single piece of evidence that can be reliably and independently traced back earlier than the eleventh century. This book details events that are substantiated by hard facts and logic, and validated by new astronomical research and statistical analysis of ancient sources.

Customer Reviews:

Calculations are only as good as your numbers.......2007-08-03

Yes, we can all agree that mainstream history is nearly 100% BS due to politics, economics, ego, problems with dating techniques, and various conspiracies. Agreed. But, I've been researching the distinct possibility that human history (in terms of civilizations) are much more ancient than we've been told, so coming across this book was very interesting to me. I wondered how Fomenko could be wrong (if at all) because he is very persuasive in his presentations. Then it dawned on me. If at previous times in prehistory, due to the various catastrophies that are well documented (comets, asteroids, planetary disruptions, plasma discharge, pole reversals, etc) the Earth was in a different position in relation to the sun, different tilt on its axis, different orbit, different rotation (in terms of velocity and DIRECTION), and the continents were in different positions, then would this not cause the ancients to see the sky (constellations) differently? In other words, is Fomenko making erronious assumptions about the physics of the Earth in pre-history, which then corrupt his data with regards to dating the relevant astrology? The last event to seriously disrupt our planet occured roughly 3500 years ago, according to other good researchers, so is it possible Fomenko has been confused by this? The vastly different physics of our planet in the not so distant past may explain this confusion, which is not to say the "mainstream" version of history is correct; on the contrary. I am not an expert in these fields, but wanted to see if this idea could spark discussion.

Pants on fire?.......2007-07-19

Will people ever read before spamming? Yes, Jesuits could not rewrite world history alone, they had help. Anyway, Dr Prof Acad A.Fomenko does not point to jesuits as the driving force of world wide history manipulation in published volumes 1,2,3;, actually he barely mentions the poor devils. Check it with 'Search inside' feature, please. China is rarely mentioned either, in fact, Dr Fomenko is completely eurocentric. Right, his theory contradicts all mainstream schools of history, because in their actual state they are all built on blatantly erroneus chronology. You don't need a mysterious cabal (conspiracy) to falsify history, the falsification is its modus operandi. It is inherent to history(ians) to falsify (distort) events, as it is inherent to humans to boast as it is inherent to power (authority) to legimize itself by referrring to glorious past made to its own order. Dr Prof Fomenko and team have identified scores of instances of such manipulation in Russian, European, etc.. history, and delivered valid statistical proof thereof. His own 'reconstruction' is completely another story. Forget c14 as a valid method of dating. W.Libby has initially discovered a brilliant method of INDEPENDENT dating. Too bad, c14 method has become a joke after a forced marrige with dendrochronology with consensual chronological scale inbuilt. Radiocarbon method can't stand blind tests, but is so very productive as a rubberstamp.

Accepted History & Chronology Must Be Changed. .......2007-04-09

There is no doubt that history as most know it is a sham, & institution's version of History both University & Church is fradulent & inaccurate. Everything was established with an agenda, The real "Dark Ages" are now when we have access to incredible amounts of information past authorities & more important 'common folk' didn't have but our institutions & educators are slow to evolve because of what has ignorantly & arrogantly been taught for too long. This is on many subjects not just Chronology.

For anyone to question "Why would a Mathematician have anything credible to say of History?" The answer is from Dr. Fomenko's preface in the book: "It would be worthwhile to remind the reader that in the XVI-XVII century Chronology was considered to be a subdivision of Mathematics." These volumes could possibly be some of the most important works to date & should be read by everyone with an interest in History, especially professors & educators who have a duty to the public. I have read both books & must say that 'Chronology 1' has some very eye opening & revolutionary information. Even if these volumes are part true the implications are profound & opens the doors to further investigations & questions which must be done. I speak several different lanquages & must say the logic Dr. Fomenko uses with "inflection" of words & words being read from left to right in one region & right to left in another then written backwards, the removal of vowels & get down to basics of words, or different cities & locations having the same name etc. is correct. Vowel usage has always been optional & varied, actually complicating linquistics & study. The first thing one has to understand is that words never had a fixed spelling in history like we do now, the spelling of words was mutable & regional, as well as names & titles of people were vast, varied & changed, NOTHING WAS FIXED or understood linear. Matters of Life & Death as well as financial profiteering yesterday & today were & are made with ignorant, illogical & conspiratorial views of history & reality, it's time people get closer to the Truth & society collectively grow up.

Very Interesting.......2007-03-07

It is a good proposal and I believe it will mature into something even better in the future. I think it deserves to be read.

History as Science Fiction.......2007-01-10

Anatoly Fomenko has written a very intriguing book, full of pictures, charts, and computer 'proof' of his thesis: backwards of AD900 we don't really know what happened or when. Between AD900 and AD1600 there is more certainty, but there is still a lot of fuzzy ground, and things don't get reliable until we get past the 1600's where the printing press made it very difficult for the perpetrators of this timeline manipulation to change anything that had been committed to print. The Dark Ages did not happen. Books were burned for a reason. One organization has doubled the actual length of its existence by expanding the real chronology. Read why.

I had always wondered why Christ died about AD33 and yet men waited until the 11th century to form the Knights Templar, the Cathars, etc and go after the Holy Land by force. Why the 1000 year gap? Turns out there wasn't more than a 10-12 year gap and he proves it using astronomy. This also implies that the planet is not as old as we have been told, and current Christian and other creationist scientists are already championing that idea without being aware of Fomenko's book. The two groups, creationist scientists and the Russian mathematical analysts corroborate each other. Fascinating.

Of course, all this flies in the face of what we have been told traditionally is the 'proper' chronology of western civilization, and most readers will experience 'cognitive dissonance' in reading this book. It means that our history going backwards from AD1600 becomes progressively more incorrect and unreliable until it cannot be trusted at all... in the space of 700-800 years.

Naturally, the curious, open-minded reader will want to know WHO did this, WHY, and did any of the events we think of as really ancient ever happen?
Dr. Fomenko is a respected scientist/mathematician at Moscow State University who has already answered these questions to the satisfaction of his initially skeptical colleagues. Most of them are now believers, a few still refuse to believe (the usual diehards), and of course the western press has ignored Fomenko's work -- for obvious reasons when you read the book. The ones who perpetrated this chronology ruse have a lot to answer for. They are still with us. That's why this book is a well-kept secret.

I gave the book a 4-star rating because I was unable to check out some of his claims; those I checked were as he said. But if even 1/3 of his claims are true, this punches a big hole in what we think is our history, the meaning of western civilization, our educational process (for repeating the ruse as gospel), and the trustworthiness of the organization that perpetrated this ruse, well-intentioned or not.

This book relates to current research into a Young Earth paradigm, to John Keel's discoveries about our planet, and Fr Malachi Martin's insights (in his now out-of-print books). We are indeed sheep who are manipulated and kept ignorant -- for a reason. While knowing what these men have to say may be the "booby prize" (as in: 'what can you do with this knowledge?'), it will provide interesting reading. Didn't someone say: "...and the Truth will set you free."?? For you to judge if this book contains the truth.

Average customer rating:

Geek Love
strangely odd , but just as lovely even odder
A PERFECT DESIGN
And I'd figured I'd come to the end of being amazed.
One "Freaky" Book

Geek Love: A Novel
Katherine Dunn
Manufacturer: Vintage
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Contemporary | General | Literature & Fiction | Subjects | Books

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ASIN: 0375713344
Release Date: 2002-06-11

Amazon.com

A wild, often horrifying, novel about freaks, geeks and other aberrancies of the human condition who travel together (a whole family of them) as a circus. It's a solipsistic funhouse world that makes "normal" people seem bland and pitiful. Arturo the Aqua-Boy, who has flippers and an enormous need to be loved. A museum of sacred monsters that didn't make it. An endearing "little beetle" of a heroine. Sort of like Tod Browning's Freaks crossed with David Lynch and John Irving and perhaps George Eliot -- the latter for the power of the emotions evoked.

Book Description

Geek Love is the story of the Binewskis, a carny family whose mater- and paterfamilias set out–with the help of amphetamine, arsenic, and radioisotopes–to breed their own exhibit of human oddities. There’s Arturo the Aquaboy, who has flippers for limbs and a megalomaniac ambition worthy of Genghis Khan . . . Iphy and Elly, the lissome Siamese twins . . . albino hunchback Oly, and the outwardly normal Chick, whose mysterious gifts make him the family’s most precious–and dangerous–asset.

As the Binewskis take their act across the backwaters of the U.S., inspiring fanatical devotion and murderous revulsion; as its members conduct their own Machiavellian version of sibling rivalry, Geek Love throws its sulfurous light on our notions of the freakish and the normal, the beautiful and the ugly, the holy and the obscene. Family values will never be the same.

Customer Reviews:

Geek Love.......2007-10-01

I greatly enjoyed this story. If you like books like Fight Club, you will too. I have a feeling that this is the sort of book that you either love it or hate it. It was a little slow to begin with but I stuck with it to the end and was glad that I did because overall it is worth the read. I liked it so much that I purchased another copy to be shipped to my brother in Florida. This story was surprisingly and refreshingly different. I would advise parents to read it before allowing their teenagers to due to the fact that there is some adult content. I would rate it a P-13 borderline R but some readers may feel differently so don't take my word for it, go read it yourself! I will be looking for more books by Katherine Dunn!

strangely odd , but just as lovely even odder.......2007-06-30

Read this book years ago, and I read it fast not being able to put the book down for a day and half. I had to finish it, and hating that it came to an end. This book has stayed with me for some reason that I can't name. Don't think you are going to read a book about the life of circus folks, you are going into depths that can frightened you and make you throw you head back and laugh all at the same time

A PERFECT DESIGN.......2007-06-22

Okay, if you are on Amazon to look for a new book to read, and decide to read the reviews first, than listen up. Read the "synopsis", see what it's about? Yeah, it's not a novel about Nerds who fall in love; it's a fantastical novel about a family that is designed to be full of horror, wonderment, shock and awe, literally. If you cannot stomach reading descriptions of deformities, or people who are cult followers to the nth degree, or talk of injuries to both body and soul and mind, than do not buy this. If you do, than soon you will be on here reviewing this and saying "it was disgusting, and horrific, and I didn't get it" This book isn't for the faint of heart, or the simpleton who just wants quick read before settling into beddy-bye for the night. You must be able to wrap your head around profound, well written, scarring literature. If you choose this for a readers circle, or book club, make sure that everyone has an open mind, you don't want to choose this and than have a bunch of people look at you like you grew fins and a hunchback.
We all have handicaps, physical or mental. I know that I can personally blame my parents for the struggle and afflictions I have had in my life, they might not have designed me that way, but they sure as heck didn't think before they acted. I fell in love with this book because I fell in love with the sublime mystery of It all, I couldn't wait to see how it unfolded, and how it came to be that Oly was on her own looking after both her daughter and her mother, and neither knew who she was. I will forever treasure this book.

And I'd figured I'd come to the end of being amazed........2007-06-05

"And I'd figured I'd come to the end of being amazed. Run out of it, like you'd run out of sugar. But when I saw you lovely girls I thought to myself, maybe there's more to life yet."

An astonishing, grotesque, sharp-tongued, and lovingly written family memoir and the most entertaining work of fiction I've read in years. Reduced to archetypes, it's the story of a family struggling with its own hubris (a la the Magnificent Ambersons or Royal Tenenbaums) and a meandering reflection on small-town America -- an unsentimental road-trip comedy dotted with soft drawls, murder, prostitution, tigers, telekinesis, a cult of amputees, and lots of security guards. Think Willie Nelson and the Quay brothers collaborating in the milieu of HBO's Carnivale, and you have a rough idea of the premise and aesthetic of the novel.

Though it's thoroughly entertaining, the flaws are stark: at about the two-thirds mark, Dunn steers the storytelling away from a first-person recollection to 'journalist's notes,' a decision which, depending on how you frame it, drags down the pace considerably or is a judicious bit of editing that compresses the formidable challenge of exposition and actually speeds the action. I'm not sure how I feel about it, but it's there and it gives Dunn the opportunity to drop in a few smart epigraphs that would otherwise have been non sequiturs. Some characters are painstakingly and hilariously dressed but given few lines; while I hoped that some of them would have more presence in the story arc, I know that if my obituary is to be published, I want Dunn to write it.

Something else to keep in mind as you read this book: a majority of the action happens between characters who are children, at most adolescents, in the 20th century. While in the 21st century, I might no longer look upon carnivals or freaks or even acts of extreme sadism in awe, Geek Love reminded me of the thrill of audacity, and that achievement on its own is amazing to me.

One "Freaky" Book.......2007-06-05

This is a tough book to review because it is definitely weird - but not so twisted that you should pass it up. I don't go out of my way looking for books this strange, but I did enjoy it. You would have to know a person pretty well to know whether they would like it or not. It kept me on the edge of my seat trying to figure out where it could possibly go after starting with such a bizarre premise.

The Carnivorous Carnival (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book 9)

Average customer rating:

Slow going
Letter from Violet, Klaus and Sunny to Lemony Snicket
The Most Colorful Book of All
The Carnivorous Carnival is in town.
the carnivorous carnival

The Carnivorous Carnival (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book 9)
Lemony Snicket
Manufacturer: HarperCollins
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

Action & Adventure | Literature | Children's Books | Subjects | Books

Humorous | Literature | Children's Books | Subjects | Books

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General | Ages 9-12 | Children's Books | Subjects | Books

ASIN: 0064410129
Release Date: 2002-10-29

Book Description

Everybody loves a carnival! Who can fail to delight in the colourful people, the unworldly spectacle, the fabulous freaks?

A carnival is a place for good family fun – as long as one has a family, that is. For the Baudelaire orphans, their time at the carnival turns out to be yet another episode in a now unbearable series of unfortunate events. In fact, in this appalling ninth instalment in Lemony Snicket's serial, the siblings must confront a terrible lie, a caravan, and Chabo the wolf baby. With millions of readers worldwide, and the Baudelaire's fate turning from unpleasant to unseemly, it is clear that Lemony Snicket has taken nearly all the fun out of children's books.

Ages 10+

Customer Reviews:

Slow going.......2007-09-23

The Carnivorous Carnival is the 9th installment in the Baudelaire orphans' Series of Unfortunate Events. The orphans have escaped the burning hospital from Book 8 by climbing in the trunk of Count Olaf's car and sneaking away with him and his evil henchmen. They arrive at a carnival isolated in the barren hinterlands and immediately realize that they must disguise themselves so that Olaf and his friends will not recognize them. They get jobs as carnival freaks and try to find a way to escape and continue to look for the Snicket file and the possibility that one of their parents might still be alive.

This book is another fun installment in the series, but unfortunately, for some time the series has been dragging. It is possible that for children each book is entertaining as a stand alone book, but for me, I find that the repetitive formula of each is now tiresome and I am ready for it to conclude. I continue to be impressed by the writing style and the clever way the author uses language to instruct and entertain. Overall the series is fantastic, but the pace is frustratingly slow at this point. Hopefully the pace will accelerate as the ending draws near.

Letter from Violet, Klaus and Sunny to Lemony Snicket.......2007-09-16

Dear Mr. Snicket,

We have found out about you telling our story, and we wanted to communicate with you. Luckily for us, this reviewer visited the carnival in which we were performing in an unusual capacity (as f-r-e-a-k-s) and agreed to make this message available to you. At first we were enraged, since we realized that you were interjecting funny comments in our story, which seemed to derive from really bad taste. But then we understood, if you did not do that, nobody would want to read about our miserable experiences.

As you already know, we barely escaped from the hospital. "Slash!", that was a comment from Sunny, who intends to say that Olaf and his cronies were trying to chop off Violet's head and they almost succeeded. We sneaked into the trunk Count Olaf's car and ended up in this carnival, trying to figure out the secret of V.F.D. If you have any information, please, please, please, help us out. "Chersssh", that was Sunny again, saying that we found out that one of our beloved parents may be alive. If you have any news, we would appreciate you providing this information to us.

We have found a few compassionate people in the carnival, but the lions arrived a short time ago, and we are getting scared. If you have any way to contact Mr. Poe, tell him to come rescue us. He seems to have missed our telegram. We are looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,

Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire

PS from the reviewer: Mr. Snicket, I realize that you have found out about the events that unfolded at the carnival and already wrote a book about it. I applaud your accuracy in telling the tale and I thoroughly enjoyed your use of humor at such a grim time. I hope you can help these children and I hope I get to find out soon about what happened to them. I have a lot of questions and the suspense is killing me. I will now let you get back to your writing, which I hope many people get to read. Best regards.

The Most Colorful Book of All.......2007-08-03

This book was definitely different. Lots of canival characters. Still consistent with the other books. Lots of action. Very entertaining. Highly recommended.

The Carnivorous Carnival is in town........2007-05-17

Do you like books that have mystery, adventures, secrets, or orphans in them? If not, then I am warning you right now that you can put this book down get a happier story like "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants." It's your decision; you can choose the book I just suggested or you can choose "The Carnivorous Carnival". If you want to know more or get to know the Baudelaire's read on, if not you can put this down and run around screaming like a maniac into the night.

This is the story of Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire, three orphans who have been put under the care of Count Olaf. This story began when the Baudelaire parents perished in a fire that destroyed their entire mansion. The three children were on Briny Beach when Mr. Poe, the wealthy banker told the Baudelaire orphans that, well, they were orphans. Then, at Count Olafs' house he put the Baudelaire's to work. Some chores rough, some chores were as easy as ringing a doorbell.

If I were to give the book a rating out of 10, I would personally give it a 9 ½. I think this is the best book I've read up to date because, it has a lot of suspenseful moments, and a whole lot of mystery, drama, and some clues to whether the Baudelaire parents are alive or dead.
I highly recommend this book for every age group from 10 and up. The only people who wouldn't like this book are people who hate books without unhappy endings.

If you want to know more about or get to know the Baudelaire's you can start from the beginning and read the 13 books in chronological order, or you can read them scattered like I did. It doesn't matter how you read it, it just matters if you do read it. (All books are Accelerated Reader Eligible.)

By: Jordan

the carnivorous carnival.......2007-05-08

Now we are back in the belly of the beast. The Carnivorous Carnival was an exciting book. Klaus, Sunny, and Violet joined Madame Lulu's carnival. They dressed themselves up as freaks so Count Olaf wouldn't recognize them. At the end, Violet and Klaus were in an RV being pulled by Count Olaf himself. Count Olaf has someone cut the cord that attaches the RV to the car and pulls away with Sunny. I highly recommend this book.
The book has a phrase that is repeated through the book whenever the children are about to be in a bad situation. "Back in the belly of the beast" was repeated about nine times in this novel and every time something bad happened. For example, when the cord attaching the car to the RV was cut; also when they figured out he knew who they were.
The book was very exciting. At many points, I could not set the book down. The events in the book were so extreme. When Olaf said to push the children, I thought they would die.
The book had a thrilling ending. Olaf was able to escape from Violet and Klaus with their baby sister. IN real life, he wouldn't have been able to pull off stealing their sister, so it was more fictional, but a great ending. The ending is not cliché because the villain got away.
The book had many creative characters. One of the characters was a contortionist; another was a humpback; another was a wolf baby. I suggest this book to seventh graders.

Average customer rating:

A delightful splash of reality
More suspenseful than I'd expected
It's a 'Fawlty Towers' in the West Indies
Mostly fun - suspend disbelief
Entertaining escape from your everyday life

Don't Stop the Carnival: A Novel
Herman Wouk
Manufacturer: Back Bay Books
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Contemporary | General | Literature & Fiction | Subjects | Books

ASIN: 0316955124

Book Description

DON'T STOP THE CARNIVAL is Herman Wouk's comedy about living out your fantasies on an exotic Caribbean island.Norman Paperman, a successful Broadway publicity agent, has long dreamed of escaping his high-pressure Manhattan life.In a fit of bravado, he chucks it all and buys an old hotel on tiny, primitive, lush Amerigo island.

Customer Reviews:

A delightful splash of reality.......2007-07-27

This is the book for anyone who has considered throwing it all in and running away to the Caribbean. Wouk paints a hilarious picture of a mainlander trying to make it as a resort operator in "paradise." We soon learn that swaying palms and stunning sunsets aren't always what they're cracked up to be. Although "Don't Stop the Carnival" is fiction (right down to the name of island where it takes place) it's a wonderful behind the scenes look at what could be going on while you're basking on the beach sipping your rum punch on vacation. I highly recommend this book.

More suspenseful than I'd expected.......2007-03-02

I finally got around to reading this after years of listening to the Jimmy Buffett musical (which, contrary to what some earlier reviewers seem to think, already exists). I therefore already knew how the story ended, but with a hundred or so pages left to go I was involved enough to hope they'd changed it from the book. No dice, unfortunately, but it's still a far more engaging story than I was expecting.

If you're wondering - as I was - how a story of a guy who buys a hotel could possibly be entertaining, don't worry. I don't know quite how Wouk did it, but he did. The sequence of events sometimes does seem a bit Hollywood-ish, in the sense that you think things can't possibly get any worse for Norman Paperman and friends, but oh look, they just did. For that matter, they sometimes also get better faster than you'd ever expect in real life. Still, the story does draw you in and make you root for Norman to tough it out regardless of what the island and its cast of loony characters throw at him next. Speaking of which, Wouk is a genius when it comes to original yet strangely convincing characters. Even if the action dragged (which it doesn't), the book would be a fun read for them alone.

Through it all, you just might find yourself wanting to run off to the tropics and start life over again too. Perhaps unintentionally on Wouk's part, the Papermans' lifestyle back in New York comes across as so dreary that it's easy to believe Norman would rather cope with disaster after disaster than go home! It is, of course, easier to say that when we're only reading about the big adventure rather than living it. But it does make for a fun read.

It's a 'Fawlty Towers' in the West Indies.......2007-02-11

A very funny and entertaining novel. It slightly recalls the above British TV comedy, but with a self-exiled NYC Jewish Theatre man dealing with a new world for him- a fish out of water. He finds himself among other exiles from America and Europe but who seem to float through their lives there while he is buffeted by constant ups and downs. The story has the feel of the late 50s, and does reference 'the new year' of 1960 at one point. One of the charaters, Iris Tramm, is a failed Californian movie star who, it is implied, may have been a casualty of the blacklisting craze of the early 50s. If they had ever made a movie of this, she could have been played at one time by Sally Kellerman. The comedy turns to tragedy by the end of the story.

Mostly fun - suspend disbelief.......2007-02-02

I just read this after a trip to the US Virgin Islands and it certainly helped prolong the vacation for me. Anyone who has ever unsuccessfully tried to superimpose our northern sense of urgency into any minor crisis in the tropics, such as lost luggage, missing captains, etc., can relate to this book. Set in 1959 (and written in '65 I believe), the book treats such hot topics as inter-racial romances, non-traditional families and ethnic stereotypes with a respect that our society has yet to catch up to, in my opinion.

My only two beefs are 1) at times it was too over-the-top in comic misery - like one of those action scenes that goes on longer than you can even pretend possible, and 2) the very ending is simply out of place and almost a cruel trick - I can't say any more without revealing it.

Fans of Jimmy Buffett's novels will see a likely source of inspiration for Jimmy's writing style in this book.

Entertaining escape from your everyday life.......2007-01-05

If you are looking for an easy, fun quick read this is your book. There were some serious moments, but a great escape book for the beach. I have to admit that I cannot see it as a musical, but with Jimmy Buffett anything can happen.

Carnival at Candlelight (Magic Tree House #33)

Average customer rating:

An Amazing Book
A Great Review From a Spiritridge Third Grader
Mary Pope Osborne creates magic... from a Book Loons reviewer...
A adventures book
Carnival at Candlelight

Carnival at Candlelight (Magic Tree House #33)
Mary Pope Osborne
Manufacturer: Random House Books for Young Readers
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

Action & Adventure | Literature | Children's Books | Subjects | Books

General | Literature | Children's Books | Subjects | Books

General | Ages 4-8 | Children's Books | Subjects | Books

ASIN: 0375830332
Release Date: 2005-03-08

Book Description

MERLIN HAS ASKED Jack and Annie to help on another Merlin Mission. This time they head back into history to Venice, Italy. With the help of a research book, a book of magic rhymes, and a set of mysterious instructions from Merlin, the heroes will save the beautiful city from a flood! Here’s another Magic Tree House book that will engage kids with history, magic, and nonstop action from beginning to end.

Customer Reviews:

An Amazing Book.......2007-06-03

Carnival at Candlelight is an awesome book. It takes place in Venice, Italy, 260 years ago on the night of the annual Carnival celebration. It starts out when Jack and Annie recieve a note from Merlin that says they have to save the Grand Lady of the Lagoon from a terrible disaster!

When Jack and Annie get to Venice, they travel to the Carnival in a gondola. Then they walk around and get into trouble from guards and go up flights of stairs, look at maps, and see statues, all the while thinking about their crazy mission. It isn't making any sense!

They go out into Saint Mark's Square and look in their research book for help. The note from Merlin says to find a tower with two men and a bell, climb it, and get on a king of a jungle. Wandering in the crowd, they spot the tower and race up it. Then they spot the lion and use one of their magic rhymes to make the lion come to life. Then they go out over the sea to spot Neptune, the god of the sea.

They learn that the Grand Lady of the Lagoon is Venice, Italy, and they have to save it from a flood. They spot Neptune and tell him to stop the flood. He does and their mission is over.

I am just a kid, but I recomend this book for any fans od the Magic Tree House series. I got this book for Easter of 2005 and read it that day and enjoyed it.

Magic Tree House #33: Carnival at Candlelight is the book for young readers.

I think the author, Mary Pope Osborne, states things clearly in her books and the pictures explain them better. Mary Pope Osborne, in my opinion, is the best author in the world.

A Great Review From a Spiritridge Third Grader.......2007-03-21

Want to hear a book that's really cool? Well, the book Magic Tree House Carnival at the Candle Light will do the trick! This book is amazing. It's about two Aencheris kids Jack and Annie who goes to Venice to save a mysterious person the Grand Lady of the lagoon. But, once they found out about that person it wasn't what they had expected! Jack and Annie figured that this job was getting harder and harder.

Jack and Annie have some wild stuff happening in this wacky book. That's why I'm telling you to read this book! What I most really like about this book is when Jack and Annie said a spell and got to ride on a Golden, shinning, flying, lion. That part was Awesome!

I would recommend this book to someone who loves and who totally enjoys mysteries, because this book has spells, a mystery, and Magic stuff. Well, that's all. I hope you will adore this book.

Mary Pope Osborne creates magic... from a Book Loons reviewer..........2006-07-31

Mission: to save the Grand Lady of the Lagoon. Place: Venice Italy. When: 260 years back in time on the night of 'Carnival'.

Jack and Annie of Frog Creek are off again on a new mission in the Merlin Series #33. Odds of surviving a dungeon: Fair to Good... i.e., if the 'book of magic' has something to help them, and Merlin's apprentices Kathleen and Teddy, too.

Mary Pope Osborne never fails to create magic in her stories, with backgrounds of historical places, and supporting the suspense that follows Annie and Jack as they follow the instructions in a letter from Merlin -- "...When waters rise beneath the moon,/Visit the Grand Lady of the Lagoon." The heroes meet grouchy guards, a son of a famous painter, climb the Giants' Stairs, fly the sky on a Golden Lion, and meet Neptune.

Osborne visited Venice and of the city she writes: "...no photographs can truly do Venice justice. No notes or diagrams can truly capture her. Venice lives best in memory, stirring the deep waters of the imagination."

Other Recommendation: Night of the New Magicians by Mary Pope Osborne

A adventures book.......2006-07-18

Carnival at Candlelight is a funfilled book. It all starts when Jack and Annie of FrogCreek has the same dreams. (Which was sent by Teddy and kethleen). They decide to go to the TreeHouse
and finds teddy and kethleen fast asleep. 'Then later they wake up and they said that they will not be going with them on their adventure.' 'Oh No!' Said Annie 'But what if we need your magic?' Teddy Said 'Morgon thinks that you are ready to use magic your own.''Really?' said Jack 'Yep'. Said Teddy 'But we don't know any magic.' said Annie 'Remember what I said if we work together we can do anything.' said Teddy 'Anything is possible but you just said you were'nt coming with us'. said Annie 'Thats true thats why we give you this Wow a 10 magic rhymes book!' said Jack 'Yes,they are ment to last for your four journeys.' said teddy 'Each line is in Teddy's language, and one in mine the language of the seal people.' said kethleen. my opinion is that this is a fantastic adventures book.

Carnival at Candlelight.......2005-09-11

"Carnival at Candlelight" by Mary Pope Osborne was a delight to read. I generally don't like the fantasy genre but I absolutely love the "Magic Tree House" series. One of the things that I love about this series of books is the author's ability to blend factual knowledge with adventure and excitement. As a teacher I appreciate this ability because I believe that students will learn a lot of facts from these books plus they will be enjoying a grand adventure too.
"Carnival at Candlelight" is the fifth book in a group of Magic Tree House books called the "Merlin Missions." Jack and Annie (the main characters) have a fantasy adventure in real places in real times. In this book they travel to the city of Venice, Italy. There they discover the mystery and magic of Venice.
This book is filled with factual informations such as, "Instead of roads, Venice has waterways called canals. People glide along the canals in shallow boats called gondolas."
Not only is this book filled with adventure and factual knowledge but it also has great illustrations. The illustrations in this book make the story come alive. The illustrations really give you an idea of how Jack and Annie feel during key moments in the story.
This is a great book for second graders as a read-aloud. Third graders could read it by themselves.

Carnival of the Animals: Classical Music for Kids

Average customer rating:

Lovely Book to Share with Children
Very good
Good but the CD keeps falling out....
GREAT FOR KIDS!
Excellent resource

Carnival of the Animals: Classical Music for Kids
Camille Saint-Saens , and Barrie C. Turner
Manufacturer: Henry Holt and Co. (BYR)
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

General | Music | Entertainment | Subjects | Books

General | Literature | Children's Books | Subjects | Books
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ASIN: 0805061800

Book Description

The animals are having a carnival, and the guests are arriving. There's the majestic lion, the braying mules, the dancing elephant, and the bouncy kangaroos. Even the fossils join in with a fast and rattly dance. Everyone is invited!Nearly 150 years ago, the composer Camille Saint-Saeuml;ns was asked by his pupils to write a musical joke for them. He wrote the Carnival of the Animals, a piece people enjoyed so much that it has now become one of Saint-Saeuml;ns's most famous works.This accessible commentary, in a picture-book format, helps children follow each section of Saint-Saeuml;ns's classic piece while they listen to the CD. Whimsical illustrations, a simple text, and evocative melodies create an ideal introduction for young children to the world of classical music.

Customer Reviews:

Lovely Book to Share with Children.......2007-05-29

My 2.5 year old boy-girl twins really like this book and the music. I gave them the book/cd one week and they have listened to it about 2-3 times each day since I gave it to them. They like the pictures and point out things going on in the pictures. I like the descriptions in the book about what each animal is doing. The description is right on target with what is going on in the music and it is short enoguh to read aloud during the music and still enjoy listening to it.

We bought this book/cd because our kids really like "Peter and the Wolf" and grasped the idea that the instruments were telling the story of a person or animal.

Very good.......2007-04-11

Nice music, very good text in a book, explaining what you hear and also gives you some details about the author and music instruments. I just do not like very much the illustrations style, but this is very personal.

Good but the CD keeps falling out...........2006-06-30

I am a preschool teacher and purchased this for use in the classroom. One of the things I did not like about it was that the CD does not stay in the book and keeps falling out, so I am worried about it getting scratched. The children enjoy acting out the animals to the music so I am glad that I did get it for the planned body movement in the classroom. I am a big fan of classical music and the book that goes with the CD is well drawn and written.

GREAT FOR KIDS!.......2006-06-27

I use this book and CD collection in my preschool music classes. Sometimes I just do one song a week. Sometimes I save it until the end of the year and spend the whole session reading and dancing to the music pretending to be the various animals . They love it. The funny thing to me is that my grade school class (6-10 years old) saw it in my bag and asked about it and so I read them a bit and played a few selections at the end of class they loved it and insisted that I bring it back so that I could finish it. They love the music and the movement too!

Excellent resource.......2006-02-24

I got this book to introduce the orchestra to kindergarteners. It is wonderful; the descriptions of the instruments used in this piece are fantastic, and each animal then has another story that really aids in connecting sounds to previous experiences. The classes really enjoyed it as well; they looked forward to learning about the Carnival every time they came!

San Sombrero: A Land of Carnivals, Cocktails and Coups (Jetlag Travel Guide)

Average customer rating:

Another great book in the series
Viva San Sombrero
be warned
Just as funny as the first two.
brilliant parody of Latin America travel guides

San Sombrero: A Land of Carnivals, Cocktails and Coups (Jetlag Travel Guide)
Santo Cilauro , Tom Gleisner , and Rob Sitch
Manufacturer: Chronicle Books
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

General | Travel | Subjects | Books
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ACME Catalog: Quality is Our #1 Dream

ASIN: 0811856194

Book Description

Riding on the heels of the hilarious send-ups Molvania: A Land Untouched by Modern Dentistry and Phaic Tăn: Sunstroke on a Shoestring, comes San Sombrero. The people of San Sombrero are an outgoing, talkative, and sociable bunch, which perhaps explains why so few have succeeded as spies. Laughing comes naturally to them, and it's not unusual to see large groups of people doubled over with laughter, even in court or during a funeral. Often described as "the Venice of Central America" (due to the fact that many of its coastal cities are sinking), the sun-baked island of San Sombrero offers something for everyone, be they music lover, eco-tourist, history buff, or UN Human Rights Commissioner. From the frenetic nightlife of its capital Cucaracha City to the guaranteed solitude of a west coast beach during sea-snake season, there's simply so much to see and do in this undiscovered tropical jewel.

Customer Reviews:

Another great book in the series.......2007-08-28

While not quite as good as the first book on Molvania, San Sombrero is still a fun book and well worth the time to read it. It makes you even want to read the restaurant and hotel information for the twist they manage to work into them. Vive San Sombrero! Vive (insert name here), el Presidente!

Viva San Sombrero.......2007-08-26

Very funny, as are the orher two titles in this series. Amazon should offer a package collecting all three- "Molvania", Phaic Tan" and "San Sombrero". There are several other titles mentioned in these books as future publications in the Jetlag Travel Series. I'll buy them when available. I'm particularly looking forward to "Travel for Seniors" with information on the twenty best places in the world to lodge a complaint.Iwant to know if Rick Steves' many books on European travel inspired the authors of the Jetlag Series to parody them. Please comment, Santo Cilauro.

be warned.......2007-02-27

Look, we don't know each other. I may be an inveterate exaggerator, right? I might give all fives on my Amazon reviews. I might detest conflict and only say nice things about books.

You don't know, do you?

So let me assure you that none of those things is true, because I'm going to make a statement that might seem ludicrous: SAN SOMBRERO is one of the funniest things I've ever read. My wife thinks so, too, and we don't agree on very much. Even my Rhodesian Ridgeback seems particularly jaunty when I'm reading SAN SOMBRERO.

An Aussie friend introduced me to the Jet Lag travel guide spoofs. SAN SOMBRERO is actually the third in a series but the first I've read. It doesn't matter where you begin, but - if you have ever read a serious travel guide of any kind (say, Frommers, Rough Guide, etc.) - then you'll *love* what these lunatics do with the genre.

SAN SOMBRERO is roughly based on Costa Rica, Cuba, and any number of other Latin American 'travel paradise' locations. Each time you think the authors have exhausted their uproarious takes on one of the conventional aspects of the genre, you turn a page and they hit you again.

It's inexhaustibly entertaining, right up to the 'insert' at the back of the book.

I can't wait to read PHAIC TAN and MOLVANIA.

Aussies, all is forgiven, even your abysmal cricket side and the freakin' long airplane rides it takes to get where you are. You can come home now and rejoin the family of nations.

Just as funny as the first two........2007-01-04

I own the first two in this series (Molvania, A Land Untouched By Modern Dentistry, and Phaic Than, Sunstroke on a Shoestring). I bought this hoping it was half as funny, because they were hilarious. Imagine my pleasure to find that the third installment was new, fresh, and still very funny. I love to read these while I am travelling.

brilliant parody of Latin America travel guides.......2006-12-29

I don't go out of my way looking for comedy, but I found this in my parents' collection during a visit back home. Probably the more familiar you are with Latin America travel guides, the more you'll appreciate this book, which exaggerates the dangers of travel (disease, political unrest, insects, street food), and desperate living conditions, etc. as much as the guide books tend to downplay these conditions. This book is funny to me because rather than being absurd, it is loosely based on the (sometimes frightening) truth. The book is well-designed and illustrated- if you just looked at the pictures, you wouldn't know it wasn't a real guide book. Following are some excerpts (which are by no means highlights, as the humor is relentless):

"Be very suspicious about taking a ride in a cab where a 'friend' is accompanying the driver. San Sombreran taxi drivers don't have friends."

"San Sombrerans are passionate movie-goers, possibly because cinemas are the only air-condition buildings in town."

"Political instability has seen 17 different presidents take power in the past decade, the shortest reign being that of Alivio Escrevez who was assassinated halfways through his own inauguration speech."

Average customer rating:

Wonderful narration and eye popping illustrations
So sad john....
Great except for one word
Carnival of the Animals
what a combination!

Carnival of the Animals
John Lithgow
Manufacturer: Simon & Schuster Children's Publishing
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

Bedtime & Dreaming | Baby-3 | Children's Books | Subjects | Books

Humorous | Literature | Children's Books | Subjects | Books

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ASIN: 0689867212

Book Description

But oh! what a fabulous night he had had,
When his world was turned into a zoo!

After wandering off from a school field trip, a young boy falls asleep in the Natural History Museum. There he sees his classmates, teachers, and family transformed into a menagerie of animals, from wild hyenas to stately peacocks.

John Lithgow's exhilarating word play, inspired by Camille Saint-Saëns's 1886 composition, provides a narrative arc to the piece for the first time. Lithgow created the text for the New York City Ballet, where the Carnival of the Animals ballet, with his narration, debuted in 2003. Boris Kulikov's witty artistic interpretation of the story adds to the fun.

A new recording of Saint-Saëns's suite, performed by Chamber Music Los Angeles under the direction of Bill Elliott, complete with John Lithgow's recitation of the text, is included on an enclosed CD.

Customer Reviews:

Wonderful narration and eye popping illustrations.......2007-06-29

I used this with my kindergarten music class, and they were absolutely enthralled. Even kids who normally weren't on their best behavior were attentive and involved. We laughed hysterically together at the pictures, they were always finding something on the page to talk about. In addition, John Lithgow is a terrific storyteller who really makes the story come alive. During the musical passages woven through the story, I would stop and prompt the children to identify the instruments in the background and have them discuss ways each shows the character - eg. the how the elephant is shown with a slow, heavy tempo with low pitch; or how the wooden bars of the xylophone resonate to sound like the bones of the fossils. I highly recommend this book and cd.

So sad john...........2007-06-11

I have to say, I own ALL of john's books and I love them all, except this one. I teach 3-4 year olds and the tune of this book is very dry. kind of boring. I let my friend borrow it to present to her 5 year old children and still no interest from them. The pictures are wonderful, and the cd is ok to listen to while the children play, but they are not interested inrerading the book.

Great except for one word.......2007-04-07

I am an elementary music teacher and this book is excellent for a number of reasons. However my only problem, and it is a problem in elementary school when children in grade 1 or 2 want to read the book, is one word. It is another name for donkey and starts with jack. It appears three times and I have taped over the word and put the word donkey, which works well except for one sentence that is suppose to rhyme. The pictures, prose, and included CD are all great and work well in the classroom as well as the home.

Carnival of the Animals.......2005-01-19

I was a bit skeptical of this book when it was given to my 5-year old at Christmas, but I have to say it won me over. My son really loves it too, and we don't always have the same taste for books, so it's nice that we both enjoy this together. The rhymes are ingenious and the music is lovely. The vocabulary is advanced, but that's part of what makes this book so charming.

what a combination!.......2004-12-26

I've always loved this music, especially to help children appreciate classical music. But what a great idea to combine it with clever rhyme and whimsical art! My 6 year-old daughter received it for Christmas and enjoys listening to the CD and following along with the book at bedtime.

The Thurber Carnival (Perennial Classics)

Average customer rating:

Hooray for Thurber!
Thurber by a golden oldie
The Artistic Humorist
THURBER!!!!
Thurber's humour belongs in a category of its own

The Thurber Carnival (Perennial Classics)
James Thurber
Manufacturer: Harper Perennial Modern Classics
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Essays | Humor | Entertainment | Subjects | Books

General | Humor | Entertainment | Subjects | Books

ASIN: 0060932872

Amazon.com

After the chuckles and amidst the chortles, the first-time reader of The Thurber Carnival is bound to utter a discreetly voiced "Huh?" Like Cracker Jacks, there are surprises inside James Thurber's delicious 1945 smorgasbord of essays, stories, and sketches. This festival is, surprises and all, a collection of earlier collections (mostly), including, among others, gems from My World--and Welcome to It, Let Your Mind Alone!, and The Middle Aged Man on the Flying Trapeze. Needless to say, there are also numerous cartoons that, by themselves, are worth the price of admission. While redoubling Thurber's deserved reputation as a laugh-out-loud humorist and teller-of-gentle-tales, it reintroduces him as a thinker-of-thoughts. To wit: his 1933 "Preface to a Life," in which he observes himself while discussing "writers of light pieces running from a thousand to two thousand words":

To call such persons "humorists," a loose-fitting and ugly word, is to miss the nature of their dilemma and the dilemma of their nature. The little wheels of their invention are set in motion by the damp hand of melancholy.

Enjoy the surprises, certainly, but revel in the candy-coated popcorn and peanuts. As in "More Alarms at Night," in which a teenaged Thurber intrudes upon his sleeping father, a skittish man named Charles, because he can't recall the name Perth Amboy, New Jersey. Coincidentally, his father has just been frightened half to death by Thurber's brother, who had earlier stalked into his room saying coldly, "Buck, your time has come."

"Listen," I said. "Name some towns in New Jersey quick!" It must have been around three in the morning. Father got up, keeping the bed between him and me, and started to pull his trousers on. "Don't bother about dressing," I said. "Just name some towns in New Jersey." While he hastily pulled on his clothes--I remember he left his socks off and put his shoes on his bare feet--father began to name, in a shaky voice, various New Jersey cities. I can still see him reaching for his coat without taking his eyes off me. "Newark," he said, "Jersey City, Atlantic City, Elizabeth, Paterson, Passaic, Trenton, Jersey City, Trenton, Paterson--" "It has two names," I snapped. "Elizabeth and Paterson," he said.

Of course, things turn out fine, as well they should. And why not? The best of Thurber, which The Thurber Carnival arguably is, is sublime; surprising insight and wry observations tossed lightly and served constantly with effortless good humor and an obvious love for all things gently eccentric. --Michael Hudson

Book Description

James Thurber's unique ability to convey the vagaries of life in a funny, witty, and often satirical way earned him accolades as one of the finest humorists of the twentieth century. A bestseller upon its initial publication in 1945. The Thurber Carnival captures the depth and breadth of his talent. The pieces here, almost all of which first appeared in The New Yorker, include selections from such beloved classics as My World and Welcome to It, The Owl in the Attic, The Seal in the Bathroom, and Men, Women and Dogs. Thurber's take on life, society, and human nature is timeless and will continue to delight readers even as they recognize a bit of themselves in his brilliant sketches.

Customer Reviews:

Hooray for Thurber! .......2007-05-15

A great introduction to this wonderful humorist. I dare you not to laugh out loud at "The Night the Bed Fell." Go on, try it.

Thurber by a golden oldie.......2007-01-12

I first came across Thurber when I was 18 in 1943. The books were in hardback and of course very cheap in those day. I sampled one and then bought the rest. Thurber is very witty, very funny and is easy to relate to. His drawings are wonderful - simple and look so easy. I liked the essays and I loved the cartoons - the one I like best is a chap introducing his wife to a friend 'That's my first wife up there (she is crouching on top of a bookcase and this is the present Mrs Harris.' Another lovely one is a couple in bed with a seal above the headborad and thei wife is snarling 'All right, have it your way -you heard a seal bark.'Thurbers dogs are so evocate. His humour and give my three grandsons the Thurber Carnvival which they are all enjoying.

The Artistic Humorist.......2002-11-01

THE THURBER CARNIVAL is an excellent collection if only because it contains the complete MY LIFE AND HARD TIMES. In the early seventies, when my grandmother gave me a respectful and wonderfully brief biography called THE CLOCKS OF COLUMBUS, I became a THURBER fan. I was in Junior High and Thurber, dead more than ten years already, was enjoying something of a vogue. Most of his books were back in print. Today, we're down to about a third or less of what he wrote. The Library of America's collection looks fairly complete, but THE THURBER CARNIVAL was his own selection of greatest hits, if you will. In both cases I miss the separate volumes from which these stories and cartoons are culled. If there are concept albums, Thurber had concept collections. You don't get the sense of a Beatles album listening to bits from different albums. This is true with Thurber. You need all of LET YOUR MIND ALONE, which you can only get used now. You need all of THE MIDDLE-AGED MAN ON THE FLYING TRAPEZE; his most representative collection.
He tried writing a novel once or twice, but found he could only write short stories. This bothered him. The chief thing to remember as you read him is that he was deeply ashamed of being a humorist. His literary hero was Henry James. During Thurber's time at the New Yorker (and he arrived there about a year after its founding, staying until his death more than three decades later) the magazine was a showcase for humorists. Think of the original cast of Saturday Night Live and you'll have something of an idea of the atmosphere at the magazine in its first ten years or so. Competitive humorists travelled from all over the United States to work for THE NEW YORKER. The Algonquin Roundtable was largely a haven for NEW YORKER staffers. James Thurber learned from E. B. White and a few others and then outstripped them. If you read E. B. White's forays into humor, you'll see his clean prose shining, but you won't feel you know him. Thurber, on the other hand, leaves you with the impression that he wishes to God he never left Ohio. There is a sense of loss in Thurber's rhythms.
He is as dated as a Studebaker. If you're not willing to put yourself back in time, Thurber's not for you. But, if you notice his pain, you might notice how mightily he strove against it. Thomas Wolfe once met him at a party. Someone said, "This is James Thurber, the New Yorker writer."
Wolfe shook his hand and said, "You call those little, tiny things writing?"
All Thurber had was his writing. He was a mess otherwise. Even when his writing practically barks its bitter sentiment, Thurber turns a phrase as if he owns it. The actual content of the stories is immaterial. He should be read outloud, because he was essentially a poet.

THURBER!!!!.......2002-09-16

The works and cartoons of James Thurber have had quite an influence on me over the years. At a very young age I was drawn to his cartoons (pardon the pun), and as I grew older developed a great appreciation of his writings. Decades after their inception, his works ring true.

Thurber's humour belongs in a category of its own.......2002-01-25

This compendium will give a thoroughly entertaining taste of one of the twentieth century's greatest humourists. Thurber's imagination and wit have an appeal all their own.

This anthology brings together a number of his short stories as well as selections from amongst his modern fables and cartoons. 'What Do You Mean, It Was Brillig?' and 'The Night the Bed Fell' are two excellent and hilarious tales that serve well as an introduction to Thurber's surreal world. Don't read these in public unless you are prepared to draw attention to yourself - they will have you laughing out loud. In his fables, modelled after Aesop, but with a twentieth-century bent, Thurber delights in catching the reader unaware with his own particular brand of irony.

Book Description

The third unfortunate gift/box -- set of this New York Times best -- selling series, which will include The Vile Village, The Hostile Hospital, and The Carnivorous Carnival.

Customer Reviews:

Funny thing..........2007-06-02

Chantal, my Californian 11-year-old niece, ask me to complete her collection of this story, so I order this item as first step because the box that contains the books looks great to me. When my niece recieve it, I ask her to show me the box which in my point of view contains a very good illustration job, and she told me that she dropped the box. Intrigated I ask her why she did that and she answer:-Because I don't want to have the ugly Olaf's face in my house....

These books are great.......2007-05-31

The family loves these books from Lemony Snicket. We can't wait for the next ones.

Major let down........2007-01-07

I bought these books (actually the first three box sets) on the recommendation of a friend. But I messed up, this was not what she said. I muddled through each of the 9 books because I will not give up and feel it would be a waste of my money to throw them away. But truly, I would have rather spent my time getting a root canal, or being anally probed by aliens. These books are horrible! He warns you, but you figure it's in jest and there will be a point, or an upside to them. There's not. The movie however, is entertaining. Go figure. Check them out from the library if you're really that curious, but don't waste your money.

Great series.......2006-03-10

My 14 yr old daughter who does not care to read has loved this series. She struggled thru volumes 4-6, but breezed thru 7-9 and is looking forward to the next in the series. Highly recommended from my standpoint.

"Of all the ridiculous expressions people use...one of the most ridiculous is 'No news is good news.'".......2005-12-30

THE VILE VILLAGE: BOOK 7 - Thanks to the evil Count Olaf, all of the Baudelaire's distant relatives refuse to take them in, for fear of being dragged into some unfortunate demise, like the rest of the distant relatives who opened their homes to the Baudelaire's. Hence, the three Baudelaire Orphans - Violet, 14; Klaus, now 13; and Sunny, a baby not much larger than a watermelon - have been enrolled in a program where they will be raised by an entire village, due to the saying, "It takes a village to raise a child." The children quickly choose the village "V.F.D." as their new home, for it is these three initials that the Quagmire Triplets shouted to them before they disappeared once again. However, the Baudelaire's are quite let-down by what they find in "V.F.D." They are forced to live with Hector, a man who has a secret library, a secret inventing studio - they are secret because the "V.F.D." Council of Elders have made them against the law, along with thousands of other rules; if broken you will be burned at the stake, or imprisoned - and loves to cook Mexican food. While he's very kind to the Baudelaire's, when they are accused of murder and thrown in jail, he doesn't defend them or even give them an alibi. Now it's up to the three Orphans to use their strength to escape from jail and find their friends the Quagmires, before it's too late.

THE HOSTILE HOSPITAL: BOOK 8 - The Baudelaire Orphans - Violet, Klaus, and Sunny - are up to their ears in bad luck, and it looks as if their luck is about to grow worse. The three Orphans are on the run from the police, after being falsely accused of murdering Jacques Snicket, a man who was trying to give them some very important information, that would help their situation very much. Unfortunately, he met his untimely demise before he could reveal his secret, and now the Orphans are trying to hide from both the police - who would love to arrest them, pronto - and the evil Count Olaf. The Orphans, looking for a hiding place, hop in a van with the VFD: Volunteers Fighting Disease, who spend each and every day of the week visiting Heimlich Hospital, in an attempt to cheer up patients by singing them a rather annoying song, and handing out heart-shaped balloons. At Heimlich, Violet, Klaus and Sunny are immediately put to work in the office area, where they shall spend time filing paperwork. All is fine, until the Orphans find a file about their very own family, and Count Olaf decides to perform a very grim operation on Violet, that will render her lifeless, if she does not escape.

THE CARNIVOROUS CARNIVAL: BOOK 9 - When you are a Baudelaire sibling, you do not dream of fun days at the carnival, eating cotton candy, and playing games in which you could possibly win prizes. No, as a Baudelaire orphan, you are usually trying to escape the greedy, murderous Count Olaf, and doing crazy things, such as dressing up as a freak, which is exactly what Violet, Klaus, and Sunny must do in Snicket's ninth Unfortunate Event. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny have found that Count Olaf and his troop of bandits are residing at the House of Freaks. So to ensure that they have a roof over their head, and food in their stomachs, the three Baudelaires pose as freaks and get jobs at the Carnival. But when they and their fellow freaks are informed that one of them will be thrown into a pit of hungry lions, the three Baudelaires must find a way to escape from the Carnival. But there's only one problem...escaping is impossible when Count Olaf and his cronies are involved.

Having been an avid reader of A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS since the release of THE BAD BEGINNING, it is hard to believe that Lemony Snicket has been able to keep the attention of readers, by coming up with even more miserable things for the Baudelaire orphans to deal with. But he has done just that with books 7, 8, and 9, by introducing new bizarre characters and strange ordeals that the Baudelaires must overcome. THE DILEMMA DEEPENS is one of the best boxed sets for A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS available at the moment, as book 9 features a cliffhanger ending, that will leave all readers scrambling for Book 10: THE SLIPPERY SLOPE. Snicket has done it again, and introduced even more misery into the world of children's fiction. Misery that will keep you pleased for hours upon hours.

Erika Sorocco
Book Review Columnist for The Community Bugle Newspaper

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