History: Fiction or Science? (Chronology, No. 1)

Book Description

Recorded history is a finely-woven magic fabric of intricate lies about events predating the sixteenth century. There is not a single piece of evidence that can be reliably and independently traced back earlier than the eleventh century. This book details events that are substantiated by hard facts and logic, and validated by new astronomical research and statistical analysis of ancient sources.

Customer Reviews:

Calculations are only as good as your numbers.......2007-08-03

Yes, we can all agree that mainstream history is nearly 100% BS due to politics, economics, ego, problems with dating techniques, and various conspiracies. Agreed. But, I've been researching the distinct possibility that human history (in terms of civilizations) are much more ancient than we've been told, so coming across this book was very interesting to me. I wondered how Fomenko could be wrong (if at all) because he is very persuasive in his presentations. Then it dawned on me. If at previous times in prehistory, due to the various catastrophies that are well documented (comets, asteroids, planetary disruptions, plasma discharge, pole reversals, etc) the Earth was in a different position in relation to the sun, different tilt on its axis, different orbit, different rotation (in terms of velocity and DIRECTION), and the continents were in different positions, then would this not cause the ancients to see the sky (constellations) differently? In other words, is Fomenko making erronious assumptions about the physics of the Earth in pre-history, which then corrupt his data with regards to dating the relevant astrology? The last event to seriously disrupt our planet occured roughly 3500 years ago, according to other good researchers, so is it possible Fomenko has been confused by this? The vastly different physics of our planet in the not so distant past may explain this confusion, which is not to say the "mainstream" version of history is correct; on the contrary. I am not an expert in these fields, but wanted to see if this idea could spark discussion.

Pants on fire?.......2007-07-19

Will people ever read before spamming? Yes, Jesuits could not rewrite world history alone, they had help. Anyway, Dr Prof Acad A.Fomenko does not point to jesuits as the driving force of world wide history manipulation in published volumes 1,2,3;, actually he barely mentions the poor devils. Check it with 'Search inside' feature, please. China is rarely mentioned either, in fact, Dr Fomenko is completely eurocentric. Right, his theory contradicts all mainstream schools of history, because in their actual state they are all built on blatantly erroneus chronology. You don't need a mysterious cabal (conspiracy) to falsify history, the falsification is its modus operandi. It is inherent to history(ians) to falsify (distort) events, as it is inherent to humans to boast as it is inherent to power (authority) to legimize itself by referrring to glorious past made to its own order. Dr Prof Fomenko and team have identified scores of instances of such manipulation in Russian, European, etc.. history, and delivered valid statistical proof thereof. His own 'reconstruction' is completely another story. Forget c14 as a valid method of dating. W.Libby has initially discovered a brilliant method of INDEPENDENT dating. Too bad, c14 method has become a joke after a forced marrige with dendrochronology with consensual chronological scale inbuilt. Radiocarbon method can't stand blind tests, but is so very productive as a rubberstamp.

Accepted History & Chronology Must Be Changed. .......2007-04-09

There is no doubt that history as most know it is a sham, & institution's version of History both University & Church is fradulent & inaccurate. Everything was established with an agenda, The real "Dark Ages" are now when we have access to incredible amounts of information past authorities & more important 'common folk' didn't have but our institutions & educators are slow to evolve because of what has ignorantly & arrogantly been taught for too long. This is on many subjects not just Chronology.

For anyone to question "Why would a Mathematician have anything credible to say of History?" The answer is from Dr. Fomenko's preface in the book: "It would be worthwhile to remind the reader that in the XVI-XVII century Chronology was considered to be a subdivision of Mathematics." These volumes could possibly be some of the most important works to date & should be read by everyone with an interest in History, especially professors & educators who have a duty to the public. I have read both books & must say that 'Chronology 1' has some very eye opening & revolutionary information. Even if these volumes are part true the implications are profound & opens the doors to further investigations & questions which must be done. I speak several different lanquages & must say the logic Dr. Fomenko uses with "inflection" of words & words being read from left to right in one region & right to left in another then written backwards, the removal of vowels & get down to basics of words, or different cities & locations having the same name etc. is correct. Vowel usage has always been optional & varied, actually complicating linquistics & study. The first thing one has to understand is that words never had a fixed spelling in history like we do now, the spelling of words was mutable & regional, as well as names & titles of people were vast, varied & changed, NOTHING WAS FIXED or understood linear. Matters of Life & Death as well as financial profiteering yesterday & today were & are made with ignorant, illogical & conspiratorial views of history & reality, it's time people get closer to the Truth & society collectively grow up.

Very Interesting.......2007-03-07

It is a good proposal and I believe it will mature into something even better in the future. I think it deserves to be read.

History as Science Fiction.......2007-01-10

Anatoly Fomenko has written a very intriguing book, full of pictures, charts, and computer 'proof' of his thesis: backwards of AD900 we don't really know what happened or when. Between AD900 and AD1600 there is more certainty, but there is still a lot of fuzzy ground, and things don't get reliable until we get past the 1600's where the printing press made it very difficult for the perpetrators of this timeline manipulation to change anything that had been committed to print. The Dark Ages did not happen. Books were burned for a reason. One organization has doubled the actual length of its existence by expanding the real chronology. Read why.

I had always wondered why Christ died about AD33 and yet men waited until the 11th century to form the Knights Templar, the Cathars, etc and go after the Holy Land by force. Why the 1000 year gap? Turns out there wasn't more than a 10-12 year gap and he proves it using astronomy. This also implies that the planet is not as old as we have been told, and current Christian and other creationist scientists are already championing that idea without being aware of Fomenko's book. The two groups, creationist scientists and the Russian mathematical analysts corroborate each other. Fascinating.

Of course, all this flies in the face of what we have been told traditionally is the 'proper' chronology of western civilization, and most readers will experience 'cognitive dissonance' in reading this book. It means that our history going backwards from AD1600 becomes progressively more incorrect and unreliable until it cannot be trusted at all... in the space of 700-800 years.

Naturally, the curious, open-minded reader will want to know WHO did this, WHY, and did any of the events we think of as really ancient ever happen?
Dr. Fomenko is a respected scientist/mathematician at Moscow State University who has already answered these questions to the satisfaction of his initially skeptical colleagues. Most of them are now believers, a few still refuse to believe (the usual diehards), and of course the western press has ignored Fomenko's work -- for obvious reasons when you read the book. The ones who perpetrated this chronology ruse have a lot to answer for. They are still with us. That's why this book is a well-kept secret.

I gave the book a 4-star rating because I was unable to check out some of his claims; those I checked were as he said. But if even 1/3 of his claims are true, this punches a big hole in what we think is our history, the meaning of western civilization, our educational process (for repeating the ruse as gospel), and the trustworthiness of the organization that perpetrated this ruse, well-intentioned or not.

This book relates to current research into a Young Earth paradigm, to John Keel's discoveries about our planet, and Fr Malachi Martin's insights (in his now out-of-print books). We are indeed sheep who are manipulated and kept ignorant -- for a reason. While knowing what these men have to say may be the "booby prize" (as in: 'what can you do with this knowledge?'), it will provide interesting reading. Didn't someone say: "...and the Truth will set you free."?? For you to judge if this book contains the truth.

Average customer rating:

Interesting insights
Yuck
"If you ain't crazy,there's something wrong with you."
Willie can do no wrong, but this is close.
He can do better

The Facts of Life and Other Dirty Jokes
Willie Nelson
Manufacturer: Random House
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

General | Biographies & Memoirs | Subjects | Books

General | Music | Entertainment | Subjects | Books

ASIN: 0375507310
Release Date: 2002-01-08

Book Description

If you had to give America a voice, it’s been said more than once, that voice would be Willie Nelson’s. For more than fifty years, he’s taken the stuff of his life-the good and the bad-and made from it a body of work that has become a permanent part of our musical heritage and kept us company through the good and the bad of our own lives. Long before he became famous as a performer, Willie Nelson was known as a songwriter, keeping his young family afloat by writing songs-like “Crazy”-that other people turned into hits.

So it’s fitting, and cause for celebration, that he has finally set down in his own words, a book that does justice to his great gifts as a storyteller. In The Facts of Life, Willie Nelson reflects on what has mattered to him in life and what hasn’t. He also tells some great dirty jokes. The result is a book as wise and hilarious as its author. It’s not meant to be taken seriously as an instruction manual for living-but you could do a lot worse.

Customer Reviews:

Interesting insights.......2006-08-14

This is an easy summer read that offers some unique insights into the mind of the legendary Willie Nelson. It has a lot of song lyrics, a few jokes and lots of personal anecdotes from his life on the road. It's not great literature, but it's fun and, what the heck, Willie needs the money!

Yuck.......2006-01-10

Willie Nelson Should stick with singing and thats that. I Did not find this book enjoable at all I do not recomend it at all.

If you liked this book check out all of Willie Nelson's, Books, Music & Movies.

"If you ain't crazy,there's something wrong with you.".......2004-10-09

If you pick up this book and thumb through it quickly,you may pass it up.If so, you'll make a big mistake.
I've read Willie with Bud Shrake and Willie-Behind the Music,by Clint Richmond;both excellent books;butthis is a great update and different book by and about Willie.This book is a real fun read,especially if you've been a fan of Willie for a long time like I have.;for nearly 40 years.
Reading this book is like sitting around with Willie chewing the fat. He talks directly to the reader as if you were his friend;and who wouldn't want to be one? On second thought, it is a lot easier to read and listen to Willie than trying to travel with him.Most couldn't last a week,and I must admit,me included.
The style of this book would be a good pattern for others to follow.He breaks it up with experiences and jokes.After all,really Willie just enjoys life and wishes the same for everyone else;except maybe for the IRS.The abundant photos are excellent and appreciated.
I particularly enjoyed Willie's comments about Ray Price,another legend,when he said:
"Ray Price is the greatest country singer ever,period." That's an real tribute coming from someone of the stature of Willie.It says a lot for Ray,and even more for Willie.
This book also contains a lot of Texas common sense,such as:
"There must be a better way to start the day than getting up."
"Hell,what's wrong with being lazy sometimes?"
"It's almost April 15,don't forget o file your toenails by midnight"
"Remember the early bird gets the worm,but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"No good deed goes undone."
Great compasses to guide you.

Willie has shown he can be a great writer.If you've ever doubted how talented Willie really is,try to think of a writer who can write songs and play them like Willie does.
Hope you enjoy as much as I did!

Willie can do no wrong, but this is close........2004-08-17

First, let me state emphatically that I am a huge Willie Nelson fan. He is, by far, my favorite recording artist and I have seen him in concert three times. That said, there is not much in this book to recommend it. There are a few very funny jokes, although not that dirty. There are dozens of simple, yet profound, song lyrics, mostly of his lesser known works. As a reader, I would have preferred to hear Willie sing them. Willie tells you he is in favor of the family farm, God, marijuana, less government. He is against smoking. He plays golf and jogs. Everybody seems to be his best friend. But, if you are a Willie fan, you already know that. And there's the problem. I didn't read anything about him I didn't already know. Damn, I wish he would really get serious about writing an autobiography. There is so much I would love to learn about Willie, but it's not here. Save your money and buy another Willie CD.

He can do better.......2003-12-19

Willie Nelson is a great performer, a talented singer and guitarist, a decent actor, and one of the best songwriters this nation has ever produced.
If he really tried, I'm sure he could write a pretty good book, too.
On this one, he didn't try. Just a series of disjointed, low-class, rambling tales. If this is the real Willie Nelson, we've been had.

History: Fiction or Science? Chronology 2 (Chronology)

Average customer rating:

Check and see
Suprise! Suprise!
Prescient St Augustine?
Something of a disappointment
Romulus courts Helen, Paris founds Rome, Moses goes to Troy..

History: Fiction or Science? Chronology 2 (Chronology)
Anatoly T Fomenko
Manufacturer: Delamere Resources LLC
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Assyria, Babylonia & Sumer | Ancient | History | Subjects | Books

Historiography | Historical Study | History | Subjects | Books

General | World | History | Subjects | Books

Medieval | World | History | Subjects | Books

German | Poetry | Literature & Fiction | Subjects | Books

Russian | Poetry | Literature & Fiction | Subjects | Books

Spanish | Poetry | Literature & Fiction | Subjects | Books

Chinese | Classics | Literature & Fiction | Subjects | Books

Mythology & Folklore | Encyclopedias | Reference | Subjects | Books

General | Religion & Spirituality | Subjects | Books

Controversial Knowledge | Religious Studies | Religion & Spirituality | Subjects | Books

History | Religious Studies | Religion & Spirituality | Subjects | Books

Celtic | Earth-Based Religions | Religion & Spirituality | Subjects | Books

Magic & Wizards | Fantasy | Science Fiction & Fantasy | Subjects | Books

History | Fashion | Arts & Photography | Subjects | Books
Similar Items:

ASIN: 2913621066

Product Description

`History: Fiction or Science? Chronology 2` is the second volume of the most explosive and astounding tractate on history ever written - however, every theory it contains, no matter how unorthodox, is backed by rock solid scientific data. The book is easy and pleasant to read; it is well-illustrated, contains hundreds of charts, graphs and illustrations, copies of ancient manuscripts, and countless facts attesting to the falsity of the chronology used nowadays. You will be amazed to discover: - That the chronology universally accepted today and taken for granted is simply wrong; - That ALL methods of dating of ancient sources and artefacts known today are erroneous or non-exact; - That there is not a single document that could be reliably dated earlier than the XIth century; The Author refers to the Middle Ages as the Antiquity and proves mutual superimposition of the Second and the Third Roman Empire, both of which become identified as the respective kingdoms of Israel and Judah. Furthermore, he asserts that the famous reform of the Occidental Church in the XI century by Pope Gregory Hildebrand was the reflection of the XII century reforms of Byzantine emperor Andronicus who in his turn identifies with Jesus Christ. The Trojan war counted by Homer happened only as late as of the XIII century A.D. and the great poet actually lived in XIV century A.D. No stone in history of Antiquity is left unturned. Literally. This book is the beginning of a major correction to the chronology we live with.

Customer Reviews:

Check and see.......2007-06-21

I don't care what other people say of this book. Those affirmig it's fake, they hadn't ever read it. Or have some special reasons to do so. "Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see..." This book won't make you feel comfortable. It'll make you feel free. It'll make you feel you're "not the only one" to feel you'd been lied to for centuries.

Suprise! Suprise!.......2007-03-22

Here is a serie of books which turns "the whole world" upside down. I learned a lot of it and I hope that a new book from A.T. Fomenko will follow very quick. A absolute must for everybody who is interested in history or even a little bit from it.

Prescient St Augustine?.......2006-02-05

We can so far divide the New Chronology into the following three parts:

a) The verifiable theory that proves consensual chronology wrong with the aid of astronomy, statistics and mathematics;

b) The new chronology hypothesis based on a new understanding of known historical facts and the most likely logical explanation of the most obvious inconsistencies inherent in the official version of history;

c) The history conjectures, that is experimental historical reconstructions based on assumptions that the authors believe to make sense in the light of their research and linguistic parallels - void of ironclad factual support to date.

Fomenko's theory complies with the most rigid scientific standards as a whole:

It gives a coherent explanation of what we already know.

- It is consistent: independent lines of inquiry all lead to the same conclusion.

- The predictions it makes are confirmed empirically.

Fomenko goes by the following axioms:

- Chronology is the basis of history;

- Human evolution has always been linear, gradual and irreversible;

- The "cyclic" nature of human civilization is a myth, likewise all the gaps, duplicates, "dark ages" and "renaissances" that we know from consensual history;

- The accumulation of geographical knowledge as reflected in cartography is a gradual and irreversible process;

- The chronological distance between a given manuscript and the events described therein is proportional to the amount of distortions it contains;

- There is no "useless" information in authentic ancient sources.

Why the mainstream historians do not shower mathematician Academician Dr.Prof Fomenko with thanks and laurels?

The Russians:

Because Fomenko asserts that there was no such thing as the Tartar and Mongol invasion followed by three centuries of slavery, providing a formidable body of documental evidence to prove his assertion. The so-called "Tartars and Mongols" were the actual ancestors of the modern Russians, living in a bilingual state with Arabic spoken as freely as Russian. The ancient Russian state was governed by a double structure of civil and military authorities. The hordes were actually professional armies with a tradition of lifelong conscription (the recruitment being the so-called "blood tax"). Their "invasions" were punitive operations against the regions that attempted tax evasion. Fomenko proves that Russian history as we know it today is a blatant forgery concocted by a host of German scientists brought to Russia by the usurper dynasty of the Romanovs, whose ascension to the throne was the result of coup d'état, charged with the mission of making their reign look legitimate. Fomenko proves Ivan the Terrible to be a collation of four rulers, no less. They represented the two rival dynasties - the legitimate rulers and the ambitious upstarts. The winner took it all! Over some 30 years of controversy, Russian historians have made a most remarkable transition - they were initially accusing the young mathematician Fomenko of anticommunist dissident activity and attempts to deface the historical legacy of Soviet Russia; nowadays the middle-aged mathematician is accused of adhering to "pro-communist Russian nationalism" and defacing the proud historical legacy of Great Russia.

The Westerners:

Because Fomenko blows consensual Russian history to smithereens, successfully removing a crucial cornerstone from underneath the otherwise impeccable edifice of World History. Fomenko adds insult to injury, wiping out one by one the Ancient Rome (the foundation of Rome in Italy is dated to the XIV century A. D.), the Ancient Greece and its numerous poleis, which he identifies as the mediaeval crusader settlements on the territory of Greece, and the Ancient Egypt (the pyramids of Giza become dated to the XI-XV century A. D. and identified as the royal cemetery of the Global "Mongolian" Empire, no less). The civilization of the Ancient Egypt is irrefutably dated to the XII-XV century A. D. with the aid of the ancient Egyptian horoscopes cut in stone. He was the first one to decipher and date all such horoscopes, coming up with mediaeval dates in every case. English historians rage at the suggestion that the history of Ancient England was de facto a Byzantine import transplanted to the English soil by the fugitive Byzantine nobility. To reward the English historians who consider themselves the true scribes of World History, the cover of the present book portrays Tintoretto's Jesus Christ crucified on the Big Ben.

The Chinese:

Because Fomenko wipes out the Ancient History of China outright. No such thing. Full point. The compilation of the so-called Ancient Chinese History is reliably datable to the XVII-XVIII century only. It is perfectly recognizable as the Ancient European history, reworked and transcribed in hieroglyphs as yet another historical transplantation, this time performed on the Chinese soil by the loving Jesuit hands. The Chinese are the next in line to go berserk. Chinese history is inevitably bound to get both more ancient and more eventful, proportionally to the growing involvement of China in the world affairs. Chinese historians will keep on finding valid proof of prehistoric Chinese spaceflights until the Politburo orders them to shut up.

The Arabs:

Too bad. Islam with all its key figures is datable to XV-XVI century A. D. Arabic historians may find consolation in the crucial historical role of the Ottoman Empire in the XVI-XVII century. The trouble is that this empire was initially a Christian state, with Hagia Sophia identifiable as Temple of Solomon, according to Fomenko! We can only guess if the acquisition of Alexander the Great (a Macedonian and a Christian) as the founder of the Muslim World Empire will make Fomenko's theories more acceptable to the Arabic mainstream. He certainly does not spare any holy cows at all, claiming The Stone of Qa'Aba in Mecca to contain the lost Arch of the Covenant.

The Divinity:

Despite of reiterated statement that his theory is all about chronology and not Religion, Fomenko stirs up a whole condominium of wasp nests. His collection of anathemas, fatwa, and other condemnations from all parties concerned is already considerable. Little wonder, considering that the history of religions à la Fomenko looks as follows: the pre-Christian period (before the XI century and JC), Bacchic Christianity (XI-XII century, before and after JC), JC Christianity (XII-XVI century) and its subsequent mutations into Orthodox Christianity, the Catholicism, Islam, Buddhism, and so on.

According to Fomenko we know strictly NOTHING about the events that predate the X century A. D.

St Augustin was prescient when he spoke unto us: "be wary of mathematicians, particularly when they speak the truth."

Something of a disappointment.......2005-09-09

After having read the first volume of this expected series of 7 volumes I was triggered by the thesis of these authors that ancient Greek and Roman history did in fact take place in the Middle Ages. So I started studying medieval history of the Middle East - also known as Islamic history - to find out if the opponents of the ancient Greeks and Romans - the Acheamenid Persians, Sassanids, Scythians, Egyptians, etc. - also have their duplicates in medieval history. My search was disappointing: none of the many medieval Islamic dynasties seemed to correspond to the ancient middle eastern rulers.

However, I did find a close correspondence between Herodotus' Persian kings and medieval events:

- the defeat and capture of an Anatolian king - the Lydian Croesus - by the Persian conqueror Cyrus is identical to the defeat and capture of another Anatolian king - sultan Bayezid - by the Asian/Mongol conqueror Tamerlane;
- the Persian conquest of Egypt by the cruel tyrant Cambyses reds almost exactly as the Ottoman conquest of Egypt by Selim the Grim (note the nickname!);
- Darius the Lawgiver of the Persian Empire looks very much alike to Sulayman the Magnificent, the Lawgiver in Islamic history;
- Xerxes, whose main claim to fame is to be defeated by the Greeks at the naval battle of Salamis, looks like Selim II (the Sot) whose main claim to fame is to be defeated by a Spanish-Italian alliance at the naval battle of Lepanto.

I should have expected Fomenko et al. to arrive at similar conclusions, however, they claim that the Persian kings are the alter egos of the Angevin kings of Sicily whose biographies do not contain the exploits of the Persian kings.

The similiarities I indicate lead to the conclusion that Herodotus must have written his Histories at the close of the 16th century. But this is extremely late, given that Herodotus is "the Father of History", so therefore all other "ancient" histories must have been fabricated even later. Yet, the founders of modern chronology - Scaliger and Petavius - laid their foundations also at the close of the 16th century and had the full corpus of ancient histories already at their disposal.

It seems to me that Fomenko has to address these inconsistencies, maybe in the forthcoming 5 volumes?

Another critique of their book is that the correspondencies between different rulers are often based on a superficial comparison of the biographies; upon a more thorough comparison many details appear that do not correspond at all.

Finally, the authors rely heavily on the works of Gregorovius (1821-1891!!) - his medieval histories of Rome and Athens - as the source of medieval history; these works are - at least in the West - hoplessly outdated and have been superceded by more up-to-date works (for instance, Julius Norwich's trilogy on Byzantine history is not even cited).

Romulus courts Helen, Paris founds Rome, Moses goes to Troy.........2005-07-30

If you agree with Fomenko that Roman chronology is basically the foundation of the entire edifice of global chronology; you would also certainly agree that despite its numerous gaps and inconsistencies, Roman history is the best-documented field of ancient history, and thus a reference scale. But how well is the actual date of the Eternal City's foundation known?

Firstly, Rome is supposed to have been founded by the Trojans who had to flee after the fall of Troy. Some claim Rome to have been founded by Aeneas and Ulysses shortly after Troy had fallen; others are of the opinion that there was an entire dynasty that ruled for 500 years between the fall of Troy and the foundation of Rome.

Well, that's just an innocent 500 years long misunderstanding compared with what heretic Fomenko says, asserts, proves in his second volume: Second Roman Empire, Third Roman Empire, Biblical Kingdom of Israel, Biblical Kingdom of Judah, Holy Roman Empire are stories about basically same events, written from different points of view at different times. The underlying events have actually taken place during xii-xv cy. These histories have been written and perfected by multitude of highly talented humanist and clerical writers of xiii-xvi cy disguised as "ancients" with glorious names like Homer, Pluto, Thucydides etc..Chronology 2.0 beta..

Historians are kindly invited to report the bugs.

Average customer rating:

Smart ol' guy
Where are the books?
Amazing Encounter with a Book!
The Code of the West
Kudos From Cowboy Chris

Don't Squat With Yer Spurs On!
Texas Bix Bender
Manufacturer: Gibbs Smith, Publisher
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

General | Humor | Entertainment | Subjects | Books

Jokes & Riddles | Humor | Entertainment | Subjects | Books

All 4-for-3 Deals | 4-for-3 Books Store | Stores | Books
Similar Items:

ASIN: 0879054700

Book Description

Says the SOUTH BEND TRIBUNE, "This book is worthy of a book rustler." In the tradition of humorist Will Rogers, it takes a look at life through the eyes of the cowboy. It is filled with quips and quotes that represent the Code of the West, like: "Always drink upstream from the herd" and "The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is to swallow."

Customer Reviews:

Smart ol' guy.......2007-08-18

"Don't Squat With Yer Spurs On! A Cowboy's Guide to Life" by Texas Bix Bender is a delightful little book, pocket-size, with a cowboy aphorism on every page.

Small black-and-white drawings, expertly done, of cowboy life on ranch and range appear on every left page.

Flipbook silhouettes appear in the upper corners of the right pages. As you flick the pages front to back you see a cowboy riding his horse, walk to full gallop, stopping and rearing in encountering a rattlesnake, bucking, the cowboy flying off, losing his hat, getting up, dusting off, trying again. Evidently the sidewinder gets away.

The title language reflects the wisdom and earthiness throughout the sayings.

"If it don't seem like it's worth the effort, it probably ain't."

"Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut."

"Control your generosity when you're dealin' with a chronic borrower."

"Talk low, talk slow, and don't say too much."

"No matter where you ride to, that's where you are."

"Some things ain't funny."

Bender's book is fun and a lot more, pardner.

By the way, he's also come out with "Don't Squat With Yer Spurs On! II." Yeah, to both of `em.

Where are the books?.......2007-07-04

I haven't receive this order yet. When do you expect to ship?

Thanks,

Jim Thomas 208.841.6393

Amazing Encounter with a Book!.......2007-01-19

This is one of the best books of all time. Short, succinct and worth reading again and again. I spend my time with "dazzling urbanites" and it's a good antidote of Western, best taken liberally.

The Code of the West.......2005-10-02

I noticed that this book has not been reviewed for a few years and it's worth a new review. The book consists of 138 pages with a single statement per page. The statements are all short, accurate, and almost incomprehensible to most Americans living in the year 2005. We needed this book about 40 years ago when there were still a few folks that could understand it. That's the only reason I am giving it 4 stars instead of 5....the author missed his due date! Anyway, if you don't read anything else, read that first page and live by it.

Kudos From Cowboy Chris.......2001-01-27

Pretty much everything we need to know about getting by in life is contained in the sage sayings in this book. One of my favorites is, "Never drink downstream from the herd." Some are simply funny. Others are downright insightful. This is the "Confusius says" of the American West. It makes a good gift, and the perfect thing to pass around at a gathering for laughs and conversation. --Christopher Bonn Jonnes, author of Wake Up Dead.

Further Adventures of Hank the Cowdog #2 (Hank the Cowdog)

Average customer rating:

The Adventures of Hank the Cowdog
A great series for developing readers
Enchanting!
Hank's stricken with "Eye-Crosserosis". Can he find a cure?

Further Adventures of Hank the Cowdog #2 (Hank the Cowdog)
John R. Erickson
Manufacturer: Puffin
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Humorous | Literature | Children's Books | Subjects | Books

General | Literature | Children's Books | Subjects | Books

General | Ages 9-12 | Children's Books | Subjects | Books

Ages 9-12 | Children's Books | 4-for-3 Books Store | Stores | Books

All 4-for-3 Deals | 4-for-3 Books Store | Stores | Books
Similar Items:

ASIN: 0141303786

Book Description

Hank has been stricken with "Eye-crosserosis"! Unless he can find a cure for this dangerous condition, his position as Head of Ranch Security is at stake.

USA Today calls the hilarious Hank the Cowdog series "...the best family entertainment in years."

Hank is a scruffy, smart-alecky supersleuth with a nose for danger and an eye for the ladies. And as Head of Ranch Security on a West Texas ranch, he's usually up to his ears in all kinds of amusing trouble. Whether he's called upon to bark up the sun, investigate suspicious goings-on, or defend the ranch against marauders, Hank's hilarious, hair-raising adventures will delight readers young and old alike.

"Rip-roaring fun...[a] marvelous situation comedy." --School Library Journal

Customer Reviews:

The Adventures of Hank the Cowdog.......2003-12-10

Hank the cowdog is about a dog named Hank and he lives in a farm.Everything is going right fo Hank because he is the leader of the dogs and nobody ever dared to talk back to him until one day another dog named Rufus came to take over.Then Rufus starts making fun of Hank for having crossed eyes (he got crossed eyes because he tried to see the part where his nose had no skin on it).One time Rufus was acting like Hank (imitating Hank)and Hank ran away.Hank confronted (met) snakes and big birds which he had trouble with.Hank had to deal with Rufus.Do you think he (Hank) might get away with still being the leader?,well if you keep on reading the ending you will know.

A great series for developing readers.......2003-03-20

My ten year old son is a rapidly developing avid reader who has fallen absolutely in love with this excellent series. Erickson creates rapid narratives filled with honest (and yes, corny) humor and pleasently comic action and an occasional moral or two.

This series provides young readers with a simple, yet appropriately challenging vocabulary. It also provides fine entertainment as it can hold a young man, who favors outdoor activities and sports, and his attention span for countless hours. A most highly reccomended series of books designed to encourage and develop young readers.

Enchanting!.......1999-08-06

This is my all time favorite Hank the Cowdog book! I love Madam Moonshine and Wallace and Junior. It's witty and humorous throughout the book. I'm impatiently waiting for #34 to come out. I recomend any of these books to children and adult alike.

Hank's stricken with "Eye-Crosserosis". Can he find a cure?.......1999-07-31

Poor Hank! This makes a great sequel to number one! This is one of the best, and the cure for this terrible disease is hilarious! I would recommend this book to any Hank the Cowdog fan! - MG

Jokes My Father Never Taught Me: Life, Love, and Loss with Richard Pryor

Average customer rating:

Disturbing but frank
Moving and Loving Tribute
Sometimes hard to read, but interesting throughout
Not the book it could have been
Very good book

Jokes My Father Never Taught Me: Life, Love, and Loss with Richard Pryor
Rain Pryor
Manufacturer: HarperEntertainment
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

Actors & Actresses | Arts & Literature | Biographies & Memoirs | Subjects | Books

Entertainers | Arts & Literature | Biographies & Memoirs | Subjects | Books

General | Biographies & Memoirs | Subjects | Books

Women | Specific Groups | Biographies & Memoirs | Subjects | Books

Memoirs | Biographies & Memoirs | Subjects | Books

General | Music | Entertainment | Subjects | Books

General | Arts & Photography | Subjects | Books

General | Performing Arts | Arts & Photography | Subjects | Books
Similar Items:

ASIN: 0061195421
Release Date: 2006-10-31

Book Description

A loving yet brutally honest memoir by the daughter of comedy legend Richard Pryor

Rain Pryor was born in the idealistic, free–love 1960s. Her mother was a Jewish go–go dancer who wanted a "tribe of rainbow children," and her father was Richard Pryor, perhaps the most compelling and brilliant comedian of his era.

In this intimate, harrowing, and often hilarious memoir, Rain depicts a disturbing childhood in the shadow of her celebrated father. Rain's memoir is a complicated all–American tale: She embraced her African–American heritage while she longed to be part of the Jewish family perplexed by her mother's fascination with minority culture. She was equally at home shopping with her mother for bargain brisket and flying to France with her father. Her home life was infused with drugs and sex; at age eight she sat down to Thanksgiving dinner with the words, "Daddy, the whores need to be paid."

Jokes My Father Never Taught Me is both lovingly told and painfully frank: the story of a girl who grew up adoring her father even as she feared him–and feared for him, as his drug problems grew worse. In 1980 he was nearly killed in a "revolutionary suicide attempt"–the explosion of cocaine and ether that he told his daughter was an "explosion of milk and cookies." And in his later years, as he succumbed to multiple sclerosis, Rain saw her father reduced to watching the Comedy Channel for hours on end.

Customer Reviews:

Disturbing but frank.......2007-05-08

If you want to know what this book is about check out the editorial review. If you want to know about Richard Pryor behind the scenes than read this book. It is unflaterringly frank and shows Richard Pryor to be a narcissistic individual who demonstrated some of the worst traits an individual can have. While reading it I felt bad for the daughter(Rain, the author) and some of the women in his life. He was really screwed up but a brilliant comedian. He was the the tragic figure that in the end was a pathetic, helpless person struck down with MS. I think this book was a cathargic release for Rain because I can't help but wonder why she wouldn't be as screwed up if not worse than her dad. I think writting this book released some of her demons. Some of the things that go on in the book are unreal to the average person. Some of the contents are so whacky that you actually feel sorry for Pryor and all the people he affected. On the other hand he made people laugh. Sometimes you have to cry to laugh. The book is a curious bit of writting, an easy read and somewhat entertaining; that is if you don't mind looking at other peoples dirty laundry. It's like looking at a car wreck on the freeway; sometimes you see things you wish you hadn't. The photographs were pretty cool and complimented the story so you could put a face to the story. If you like memoirs of Hollywood celebrities than you will like this book. It is almost like peeking into the National Enquirer; some of the stories are hard to take. There is lots of cursing since that was a staple of the Pryor lexicon. Read at your own risk.

Moving and Loving Tribute.......2007-04-11

I enjoyed this novel for its honesty and moving tribute to a man deeply loved but flawed man. I think nobody could do it better than his daughter Rain Pryor. Some of the accounts are disturbing but still she pulls no punches about his absent and lack of love affect her even more so from her mother who in her own way tried but fail.

Sometimes hard to read, but interesting throughout.......2007-03-21

Cons: From the end of the book, I'm pretty sure the author expected me to have this newfound respect for Richard Pryor, but instead, I felt indifference. It's disrespectful to say that about the deceased, but this book gave so many examples of Richard Pryor beating women, abusing his children, cursing at toddlers, and cheating. Those are four things I don't dig and they were pointed out repeatedly throughout the memoirs. Instead of wanting to know more about Richard Pryor, I found myself wanting to know less. There were some photos of Richard Pryor with his mouth wide open and looking sick; if I were him, I wouldn't be too thrilled to have those in a book for all to see.

There were also some unnecessary spots, like the journal entries with all of the misspellings. They did nothing to help with the growth of the book. The dialogue with her during her "Fried Chicken..." performances were unnecessary for a reader considering everything in it was already explained in detail throughout the book, so it was like rereading the book again. I was glad those didn't last too long.

Pros: I didn't know much about Richard Pryor before I read this book, besides knowing he was a controversial comic who used the n-word excessively and talked about sex a lot. This is why I picked up the book. I was interested in learning more about him because I know a couple people who are fans of his. Even though there was a lot of bad childhood memories, it was interesting to hear his daughter's take on the situation. And I was too excited when I figured out why she looked so familiar to me. I remember her from "Head of the Class" with the forever pouty lips and wild hair. The pictures were great to look at and she definitely made me rethink wishing I had curly hair. I enjoyed getting a better feel for how it was to grow up as the child of a comedian, who obviously didn't always want to be funny. I'm actually relieved that she made it through such a tough situation and I wish her the best of luck with her future in acting.

Not the book it could have been.......2007-02-21

I remember watching Johnny Carson (The Tonight Show) when Richard Pryor came on and talked about his "freebasing accident." The thing I remember most was Pryor indicating how surprised and loved he felt at the outpouring of support and concern he received from fans. He seemed a humble and likeable man. This man does not appear in Rain Pryor's book.

I have to say, it didn't take reading very far into this book to have no feelings of respect for the Richard Pryor she portrays. He was a brilliant comic, but, according to his daughter, he was a lousy human being. He brutalized women on a regular basis (including her). He was an absolutely horrible father. He abused drugs and alcohol. What is amazing to me is Rain's continued professions of love for him throughout the book.

I was raised in a family where my step-father was an alcoholic. He was occasionally violent. My mother was a classic enabler. Once I left home, I got a lot of therapy. I was able to admit to myself that I didn't like either of my parents. They didn't deserve my love. I took care of my mother in her old age, but I had no delusions about her being a good person. For these reasons, I have real trouble following Rain's rationalizations about her father, her constantly saying, "he was despicable but I still loved him." Maybe she is actually harboring some unresolved ill feelings about him, however, because she put some really awful, even embarrassing pictures from the end of his life in this book. Shame on her co-writer and shame on her editors for allowing it.

As far as the book itself goes, it is not well written. This Cathy Crimmins, who helped Rain write the book, should be hiding her head. The book is repetitious. It has editing errors. It is often self-indulgent. It is essentially a one note samba: my parents didn't give me enough love. I kept the copy I had in the bathroom, where I could read it in little snippets. That's about all I could take.

I think for a view of some of Richard Pryor's life it has some interest. I also think it is a great example of someone who went through life thinking only of himself and someone who had no clue how to love anyone else. I wish it had been less of a breathless Hollywood tell-all, however. It would have served both Richard and Rain better if it had delved more deeply into either or both of their characters.

Very good book.......2007-02-02

This book was done very well. I enjoyed learning new things about the late Richard Pryor and finding out new things about his daughter Rain whom, I really didn't know much about.

Thank you.

Never Cry "Arp!" and Other Great Adventures

Average customer rating:

Best Humor Available
'Pass out laughing' funny
This book is fun...
A must read!

Never Cry "Arp!" and Other Great Adventures
Patrick F. McManus
Manufacturer: Henry Holt and Co. (BYR)
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

Action & Adventure | Literature | Children's Books | Subjects | Books

General | Literature | Children's Books | Subjects | Books

Adventure & Thrillers | Literature & Fiction | Teens | Subjects | Books
Similar Items:

ASIN: 0805046623

Book Description

America's best-selling outdoor humorist for adults has a secret following: middle-grade and young-adult readers.Never Cry "Arp!" is a lively collection of twelve stories about young Pat's misadventures in the Great American Wilderness.All the McManus regulars are here: Crazy Eddie Muldoon, the best friend everybody wishes they had (and everybody's mother wishes they didn't); Rancid Crabtree, the good-hearted, if gamey, woodsman; Pat's skunk dog, Strange, who lives up to his name; and Pat's pal, Retch Sweeney, who does, too.This is a book for kids who love to start fishing at 4am (at least they say they do) or for those who prefer to experience the mighty outdoors in the safety of their homes."Everybody should read Patrick McManus," said the New York Times. Now, everybody can.

Customer Reviews:

Best Humor Available.......2006-03-06

A book like this is a joy to read. It makes your day enjoyable. McManus is one of the best humor writers. You cannot read his material without laughing.

'Pass out laughing' funny.......2005-01-09

I have always thought that Patrick McManus is the funniest writer on the planet. I read his stories when I need to laugh or relax. Sometimes I irritate my wife by reading it in bed. I try not to laugh out loud, but I only succeed in sounding like I am trying to muffle continuous sneezes.

However, not everyone gets it. I have been shocked by watching people read McManus without so much as a smile (though most start snorting like wild pigs on acid) . My only guess is that getting McManus requires a couple things. First, it requires some understanding of his experiences. He absolutely nails all of the stupid things 'outdoorsmen (outdoors people)' do and think, but don't want anybody to know about. Second, you have to see the self-depricating aspect of his humor. Third, you can't look for great literature in integrated books. Patrick McManus is an excellent writer, if you see these as independent stories simply collected in a volume.

I rarely comment on other reviews, but the 'Editorial Reviews
From School Library Journal' comment was indicative of those who don't get it. I guess they are afraid of little 10-year olds with a kind of field guide to life (a scary one). I don't blame them.

Even so, these books are not meant for them or for their school libraries. They are meant for adults who want to laugh at themselves. So, If you are willing to or already meet the above three criteria, you will love this book.

By the way, I am a professor of clinical psychology and (other than worrying a little about McManus) I sometimes recommend this and other McManus books. I do this with people who have racing thoughts and anxiety at bedtime, and when I believe they have the necessary experiences to find it funny. It often works quite well. I think of his stories as little pieces of happiness. (Oh, that even makes me sick to hear. Sorry)

This book is fun..........2004-01-20

I just read this book, and it is awesome.. The writer is really good at making you feel like you are "in" the book..
This book is full of little funny stories..
I can defiantly commend this book..

A must read!.......1997-07-12

The talent and comedy of Patrick F. McManus has delighted my family and me for over 5 years. His hillarious stories will have you rolling in your bed at wee hours in the morning and his style of verse and wording are absolutly exquisite! I promise you that if you buy this or any other book by McManus, that you will not regret it. Niether will your spouse or children

Average customer rating:

Gabe from mahnomen,MN.The Best Book.
Hank the cowdog is a great book
One of the best books
good book
It's an awesome book!

It's a Dog's Life #3 (Hank the Cowdog)
John R. Erickson
Manufacturer: Puffin
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Action & Adventure | Literature | Children's Books | Subjects | Books

Humorous | Literature | Children's Books | Subjects | Books

General | Literature | Children's Books | Subjects | Books

General | Ages 9-12 | Children's Books | Subjects | Books

Ages 9-12 | Children's Books | 4-for-3 Books Store | Stores | Books

All 4-for-3 Deals | 4-for-3 Books Store | Stores | Books
Similar Items:

ASIN: 0141303794

Book Description

While visiting his sister in town, Hank contracts a mysterious case of "soap hydrophobia"--and ends up in the dog pound!

USA Today calls the hilarious Hank the Cowdog series "...the best family entertainment in years."

Hank is a scruffy, smart-alecky supersleuth with a nose for danger and an eye for the ladies. And as Head of Ranch Security on a West Texas ranch, he's usually up to his ears in all kinds of amusing trouble. Whether he's called upon to bark up the sun, investigate suspicious goings-on, or defend the ranch against marauders, Hank's hilarious, hair-raising adventures will delight readers young and old alike.

"Rip-roaring fun...[a] marvelous situation comedy." --School Library Journal

Customer Reviews:

Gabe from mahnomen,MN.The Best Book........2006-04-25

It was a funny book.When Hank goes to his sister's house he gets into a fight with a cat.It was a funny book.

Hank the cowdog is a great book.......2004-02-12

Hank The Cowdog it's a dogs life is a funny book. Drover
tells Hank it's the end of the world
but when Hank gets the calendar he finds
out that it's not the end of the world
it's really the end of the clearance sale
so he was tricked by a cat. I give
Hank the Cowdog five stars

One of the best books.......2000-10-18

This is an interesting experience about how Hank (head of ranch security) leaves and goes to the town to visit his sister Maggie. She tricks him into eating an ivory bar of soap. Then he gets caught by the dog pound and they think he has hydrophobia. However, Hank manages to break out.

good book.......1999-10-11

This is the halarios story when Hank goes uptown to visit his siter Maggie. whiel teaching Maggie's pups,Spot Roscoe Barbra and April who to be a cowdog he ends up in the pound!!he also has interesting adventures such as" the ivory dog bar".

It's an awesome book!.......1999-04-13

I'ts a Dog's Life is an interestingbook about the end of the world and thigs that Hank messes up. Also about how along the way he enters ordeals with Pete the cat, who informs them of some very disturbing news. How he involves his sister and teaches his neices and nephews how to deal with cats. It's a funny and interesting book about well... a "Dog's Life" You can be sure that I would recomend this book and that people who have one of those ego's where they think they're better than that than oh well! Your loss!

It's Happy Bunny #2: Life Get One (It's Happy Bunny)

Average customer rating:

Corny Bunny
happy bunny:get a life
Laugh Out Loud
hilarius!!
Get a Life...but Read this Book

It's Happy Bunny #2: Life Get One (It's Happy Bunny)
Jim Benton
Manufacturer: Scholastic
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

Humorous | Literature | Children's Books | Subjects | Books

All 4-for-3 Deals | 4-for-3 Books Store | Stores | Books
Similar Items:

ASIN: 0439693462

Book Description

Everyone's favorite bunny with attitude presents words of wisdom for all life's endeavors, like: When life gives you lemons, squirt lemon juice into the eyes of your enemies. Is the glass half-empty or half-full? Who cares? Learn to focus on the things that truly matter--like yourself and money. In this charming collection of ancient bunny wisdom, you'll find painfully honest twists on age-old advice as Happy Bunny shares the secrets to a happy and rewarding life. YEAH, RIGHT.

Customer Reviews:

Corny Bunny.......2007-06-22

Everything about Happy Bunny is so corny. Who finds this interesting anyway? The bunny looks like it was drawn by someone who just got a computer yesterday. The design is plain and boring. Somebody send Jim Benton back to school please.

happy bunny:get a life .......2006-06-02

i think this is an okay book, but it does not have that actual happy bunny appeal to it.

Laugh Out Loud.......2006-03-06

If you are looking for a laugh, this book will provide it! Jim Benton's humor may be offensive to some but as Happy Bunny says, "Not listening." This book makes a great gift for pre-teens on up. I love Happy Bunny!

hilarius!!.......2006-01-03

this book is so funny. i reccomend it to anyone who doesnt take things so seriously. my favorite is when he says " you cant have your cake and eat it to, but you can have your cake and eat somone elses to and thats kinda better anyway" if you think that thats rude and could come up with 1,000,000 reasons why its innapropriate for anyone under the age of 15 then u should not read this book.

Get a Life...but Read this Book.......2005-08-30

This was so much fun to read. It's perfect to pick up and read a bit when you get too full of yourself. All of my friends are getting a copy for Christmas.

Average customer rating:

Enjoy being
Illustrator(if it's who i think it is)
Surpasses the first version!

Don't Squat With Yer Spurs On! II
Texas Bix Bender
Manufacturer: Gibbs Smith, Publisher
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

General | Humor | Entertainment | Subjects | Books

Jokes & Riddles | Humor | Entertainment | Subjects | Books

All 4-for-3 Deals | 4-for-3 Books Store | Stores | Books
Similar Items:

ASIN: 0879058323

Book Description

By popular demand, Texas Bix Bender writes a sequel to his best-selling DON'T SQUAT WITH YER SPURS ON!, which became an immediate cowboy humor classic and has been reprinted 26 times. In this new book, Bender has written 125 funny quips for life. Here are some samples: "A good pard will ride with you till hell freezes over, and a little while on the ice." "If you're ridin' a high horse, there ain't no way to get down off it gracefully." "Nature gave us all something to fall back on, and sooner or later we all land flat on it." "Never be too quick to criticize yourself. It's not fair to all your friends and relatives who are dying to do it for you."

Customer Reviews:

Enjoy being.......2007-08-19

In "Don't Squat With Yer Spurs On! II," Texas Bix Bender continues his cowboy wisdom.

Linda Bark'karie once more does the illustrations superbly, and this time receives title-page credit.

The pages may seem a bit bare because of omission of the double-line page borders and the upper right corner flip images.

However, the illustrations, sayings, and fun continue.

"If your job is to shovel, and all you can see ahead is dirt, it's time to change jobs."

"A good pard will ride with you till hell freezes over -- and a little while on the ice."

"When you can't find somethin', either it's lost or you are."

"Things have a way of workin' out if you just keep your head."

"If your knees hurt too much, your stirrups are too short.
If your tail end hurts too much, your stirrups are too long.
If they both hurt, your stirrups are just right."

"Enjoy being yourself . . . whatever that is."

Illustrator(if it's who i think it is).......2002-12-30

If I am correct, L. Barkkarie is Lynn Barkkarie, and if i'm not mistaken she is from Eugene,Ore. I have a pencil drawing by L.Barkkarie i procured in 1990. It is one of 20 artist proofs(if my memory serves me)and the only one with a bit of color contrasting the shades of grey from pencil. It's of an appaloosa with feather and trade cloth.

Surpasses the first version!.......1997-11-29

I loved the first version of this book, "Don't Squat With Yer Spurs On". This book is as fresh as the first book, with the funny one-liners from a cowboy's point of view. This book outshines the first version in the visual department. The cover and illustrations are wonderful! The illustrations are the icing on the cake of quotes, directly related to each quip by an artist I suspect has a sense of humor equal to that of the author.

Books:

Books Index

Books Home

Recommended Books