When Bad Things Happen to Good People

Amazon.com

Rarely does a book come along that tackles a perennially difficult human issue with such clarity and intelligence. Harold Kushner, a Jewish rabbi facing his own child's fatal illness, deftly guides us through the inadequacies of the traditional answers to the problem of evil, then provides a uniquely practical and compassionate answer that has appealed to millions of readers across all religious creeds. Remarkable for its intensely relevant real-life examples and its fluid prose, this book cannot go unread by anyone who has ever been troubled by the question, "Why me?"

Book Description

When Harold Kushner’s three-year-old son was diagnosed with a degenerative disease and that he would only live until his early teens, he was faced with one of life’s most difficult questions: Why, God? Years later, Rabbi Kushner wrote this straightforward, elegant contemplation of the doubts and fears that arise when tragedy strikes. Kushner shares his wisdom as a rabbi, a parent, a reader, and a human being. Often imitated but never superseded, When Bad Things Happen to Good People is a classic that offers clear thinking and consolation in times of sorrow.
Since its original publication in 1981, When Bad Things Happen to Good People has brought solace and hope to millions of readers and its author has become a nationally known spiritual leader.

Customer Reviews:

A incorrect view of God that is devoid of hope.......2007-10-06

I write this review with sensitivity to Rabbi Kushner. He has suffered the great loss of his son. His motivation for writing this book is to distill "some blessing out of Aaron's pain and tears" and perhaps to process and come to grips with how and why God `allows' such incomprehensible and unbearable grief in this life. As Rabbi Kushner says:

"I wanted to write a book that could be given to the person who has been hurt by life--by death, by illness or injury, by rejection or disappointment--and who knows in his heart that if there is justice in the world, he deserved better. What can God mean to such a person? Where can he turn for strength and hope? If you are such a person, if you want to believe in God's goodness and fairness but find it hard because of the things that have happened to you and to people you care about, and if this book helps you do that, then I will have succeeded in distilling some blessing out of Aaron's pain and tears."

Unfortunately I'm not sure this book is helpful because his answer to "the one question which really matters: why do bad things happen to good people?" is untrue. Rabbi Kushner does not believe in scripture other than as a literary and religious work. Therefore he can't find or rely on what God himself says about this question and ends up with only his own speculations.

Rabbi Kushner's God is impotent: concerned by the tragedies of our lives but unable to do anything about it. His belief system started by seeing God as "an all-wise, all-powerful parent figure who would treat us as our earthy parents did, or even better. If we were obedient and deserving, He would reward us. If we got out of line, He would discipline us, reluctantly but firmly. He would protect us from being hurt or from hurting ourselves, and would see to it that we got what we deserved in life." Suffering taught Rabbi Kushner that such an unbiblical world-view was wrong; however his impotent God world view is no less incorrect.

The major contribution of this book is to remind us that people are God's solution to much of this suffering. This is a wonderful corrective to the idea that God should work exclusively by mystical and miraculous methods.

Rabbi Kushner's "only question that matters" can't be answered, not by any secular or religious system. The biblical writers wrestled with the question but didn't offer any neat "fixes" either. The sufferings of Job, for example, were never answered with a reason but only by the character of God himself. I hope that people can find comfort in this book, that Rabbi Kushner's goal has been accomplished. I fear, however, that bad theology (that is lies and misrepresentations about God) only leads to further grief and suffering. What hope or comfort is there in a god that can do nothing in our lives? If a god created this mess and then can't fix it where do we find help?

Far better reading can be found in books by Philip Yancey, C. S. Lewis, and Dallas Willard. Scott Peck's book "A Road Less Traveled" is also helpful, not as an answer but as a guidebook. I also strongly recommend the book "Sacred Romance" by Brent Curtis and John Eldredge.

Emotionally satisfying, but..........2007-10-01

This book claims not to be about theology, but actually that is what it is about from the first word to the last. And Kushner tackles an ancient and difficult theological issue: if God is good and His creation wholly good, why is there evil in the world? Kushner never really answers this question (probably because there is no satisfactory answer to the question as it is stated). And he has the courage to say that he does not really know. In fact, the book is loaded with courageously unanswered questions. This makes the work extremely satisfying on an emotional level. But on an intellectual level, it can leave the reader deeply unsatisfied. Kushner accepts that the world is chaotic; that good people will inevitably have bad things happen to them. He exonerates God by saying God did not create this chaos. In doing so, Kushner wishes to exonerate the God of Judaism from such sins as, among others, the death of innocent children. But by letting God off, he distances the deity from the world. He creates dual realms: one for God and one for us. Kushner's God is not the God of mysticism or pantheism (and some have said, not Judaism). For all its considerable emotional strengths, it seems that Kusnher in this work wants the best of both worlds: he wants to wed the chaotic universe of the atheist, and the good God of the Bible. In the end, it's a troubled marriage.

A great book........2007-10-01

Main reason for purchasing this book was Christopher Barrios death on March 8. He was a six year old Little Angel that became an angel on that date.
His death affected me to no end. It affected my eating and sleeping habits. This book helped me to see things in perspective.
I would recommend this book to anyone trying to cope with the loss of a dear one.

The Only Explanation That Made Sense.............2007-08-20

My mother died of cancer 3 weeks ago (she was only 59) and it made me MAD as hell at God for not saving her. For a while I denied the existence of any diety. A friend recommended this book. I learned I had to change my views about the nature of God.

The traditional "pray to God, he is all powerful, and he will fix everything" belief I was taught as a child no longer applied once my mother got sick and died. Why didn't God answer my prayers? Did he want my mother to suffer, become riddled with tumors, and then die at a young age? Why didn't he help us? Harold Kushner had a similar experience (his son died at age 13) and came to the conclusion that (in a nutshell)God does not heal the sick, stop tornadoes, cure AIDS and Cancer etc. because he can't. He is not all powerful.

I never EVER would have come to this conclusion by myself because it goes against EVERYTHING I was taught as a Christian. If my mother had not died there is NO WAY I would believe God was NOT all powerful. But, in doing some soul searching, that is the only explanation that makes any sense to me. For God to make my mom sick to teach my family a lesson, for a greater good, because she was a bad person, because we did not pray enough, because it was in his divine plan etc. makes no sense to me. All of these explanations offered by my church, my friends, Priests, and fellow believers led me to one conclusion: God did not help me in my time of need and therefore, God was either evil and enjoyed watching us suffer OR there was no God. Now I believe that neither of these conclusions are true. God is simply not omnipotent.

There is no doubt that accepting that God is NOT omnipotent opens up an entirely new can of worms. I had to rethink everything I knew about God and religion. I no longer look to the Bible or to any religious text for answers. I always had my doubts about the Bible. It was written by Men, Gospels were omitted and hidden away etc. It was not written by God himself/herself. Furthermore, each religion has a "Bible" or book of laws, worship, beliefs etc. How is there any way to know which is the correct set of beliefs? In a sense, due to my skepticism about Christianity/Judaism and the Bible's authenticity, it was easier for me to accept that my view of God as an omnipotent diety was flawed. REading this book made alarm bells go off in my head - AHA! Someone else feels exactly how I feel! Someone else, a religious leader, looked around and said "What the hell is going on here?!"

I may not agree with ALL of Kushner's statements (Kushner still believes in the Bible as a holy text, and the word of God, whereas I do not) but I do believe he is onto something. I now believe is that there is a higher power, and that higher power is good. I now look to God for strength - to help me through the tough times. I do not look to him to intervene in my life because I know that, as much as he would like to, he cannot.

Thought Provoking Read. .......2007-07-26

Rabbi Kushner's writing style and brilliant ability to show contrast with real life situations creates an eagerness to read on and an insatiable need to learn more.

From the tone of this book it leads you to assume that Rabbi Kushner is just a lovable human being, rich in modesty and humility.

This is a very short book which will be of value for both religious and non religious people. Whether religious or not, Rabbi Kushner's book has the ability to put a new prayer or creed in your heart, and will also enlighten you to not lose sight of the meaning of life in your life.

People need not wait for some tragedy to come along to pick up this book. Personally, I am not currently dealing with a loss; however, after completing this book I feel more prepared to take on the burden of coping with any unfortunate occurrences, which the future may hold. I bought this book to enable me to pass on comforting words to people close to me which were going through some tough times in their life.

The majority of the readers of this book has mis-interpreted this book primarily from the misquoting of the title of the book. If you get the title wrong then this book will not serve its proper purpose to you.

If you seek a bridge to the New Testament read Melvin Tinker's "Why Do Bad Things Happen To Good People". In Tinker's "Why Do Bad Things Happen To Good People" you will find a more expanded interpretation of the Book of Job and other important passages in the New Testament that delivers what Kushner could not due to his commitment and belief in the Jewish faith. In my judgment, the two merged will give you a wider scope of learning.

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A Simple but Poweful Argument
"The full acting out of the self's surrender to God therefore demands pain"
Problem of Pain
The Problem of Pain in its Right Context
Absolutely Amazing Tackling of the Issue

The Problem of Pain
C. S. Lewis
Manufacturer: HarperOne
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 0060652969
Release Date: 2001-02-05

Amazon.com

The Problem of Pain answers the universal question, "Why would an all-loving, all-knowing God allow people to experience pain and suffering?" Master Christian apologist C.S. Lewis asserts that pain is a problem because our finite, human minds selfishly believe that pain-free lives would prove that God loves us. In truth, by asking for this, we want God to love us less, not more than he does. "Love, in its own nature, demands the perfecting of the beloved; that the mere 'kindness' which tolerates anything except suffering in its object is, in that respect at the opposite pole from Love." In addressing "Divine Omnipotence," "Human Wickedness," "Human Pain," and "Heaven," Lewis succeeds in lifting the reader from his frame of reference by artfully capitulating these topics into a conversational tone, which makes his assertions easy to swallow and even easier to digest. Lewis is straightforward in aim as well as honest about his impediments, saying, "I am not arguing that pain is not painful. Pain hurts. I am only trying to show that the old Christian doctrine that being made perfect through suffering is not incredible. To prove it palatable is beyond my design." The mind is expanded, God is magnified, and the reader is reminded that he is not the center of the universe as Lewis carefully rolls through the dissertation that suffering is God's will in preparing the believer for heaven and for the full weight of glory that awaits him there. While many of us naively wish that God had designed a "less glorious and less arduous destiny" for his children, the fortune lies in Lewis's inclination to set us straight with his charming wit and pious mind. --Jill Heatherly

Book Description

Why must humanity suffer? In this elegant and thoughtful work, C. S. Lewis questions the pain and suffering that occur everyday and how this contrasts with the notion of a God that is both omnipotent and good. An answer to this critical theological problem is found within these pages.

Customer Reviews:

A Simple but Poweful Argument.......2007-09-19

C.S. Lewis offers a brilliant defense of Christian theism despite the pain in the world in this brief book. Combining sharp thinking and excellent prose, this book is highly recommended for Christians and non-Christians alike.

Lewis's arguments are similar to many theodicies (defenses of God's existence despite suffering) developed by great Christian thinkers past and present. Man's suffering is in fact a result of free will, not an original creation of God. And suffering continues to result due to the evil wills and deeds of men. As Lewis observes, "When souls become wicked they will certainly use this possibility to hurt one another; and this, perhaps, accounts for four-fifths of the sufferings of men." If men are to have any significant free will at all, the bad consequences of evil deeds must be allowed.

This, of course, leaves the problem of so-called natural evil. Lewis contends that such evil and pain are necessary for our own repentance. In order to recognize our sins and ask God for forgiveness (and thus restore the proper relationship between created and Creator) we humans must be awoken with pain and suffering. Pain shatters the notion that what we have is ours and is good enough.

The Problem of Pain, despite its brevity, covers a great deal of ground, including a defense of the doctrine of the fall and the doctrines of heaven and hell. All throughout, Lewis's writing style is accessible and convincing. For a powerful defense of Christian theism in the face of a cruel world, "The Problem of Pain" is highly recommended.

"The full acting out of the self's surrender to God therefore demands pain".......2007-07-13

"Try to exclude the possibility of suffering which the order of nature and the existence of free wills involve, and you find that you have excluded life itself."

Another serious and powerful work in a long series by C.S. Lewis: why must we suffer, mentally and physically? He hits on subjects we all struggle with. Lewis detests the doctrine of hell, but it is written, so it must be discussed. The chapter on animal suffering is fascinating. The only chapter that led me to question his words is on man's fall.

On human wickedness: "A God who did not regard this with unappeasable distaste would not be a good being. We cannot even wish for such a God----it is like wishing that every nose in the universe were abolished, that smell of hay or roses or the sea should never again delight any creature, because our own breath happens to stink."

On saving grace: "The dangers of apparent self-sufficiency explain why Our Lord regards the vices of the feckless and dissipated so much more leniently than the vices that lead to worldly success. Prostitutes are in no danger of finding their present life so satisfactory that they cannot turn to God: the proud, the avaricious, the self-righteous, are in that danger."

By the Lord's love we suffer; this strengthens, and it also keeps us on the straight and narrow. If we are to look for easiness, then we are to look for less love. It is for our sake.

"The full acting out of the self's surrender to God therefore demands pain: this action, to be perfect, must be done from the pure will to obey, in the absence, or in the teeth, of inclination. How impossible it is to enact the surrender of the self by doing what we like,..........."

After finishing the book, a thought on heaven came to my mind:
The differences are what makes up a community whether here or in heaven: God has created us after a time where all was God (but that is no more!); we are all unique parts to a puzzle. He needs us all back to complete it----to rejoin our family in heaven; it pangs Him that many will not make it, and choose to ignore their created purpose, because they have surrendered to the self and not to the Lord. Once all was God, but after the creation all has changed; we are asked to be with God because we are of God. We are distinct here on earth, but the maximum distinction awaits us in heaven, to be reunited with our Creator.

Wish you well
Scott

Problem of Pain.......2007-05-30

Excellent book by C. S. Lewis. Used for adult Bible Study discussion group.

The Problem of Pain in its Right Context.......2007-05-01

Pain is real, just as sorrow, death, and wickedness. Your becoming a Christian will not encapsulate you away from it. Christ did not promise that in the first place. But there are reasons why pain happens, as much to Christians as non Christians, and we should reach a better understanding of the circumstances in which we live, so that we can apprehend the promises that are envolved through that pain. Everyone is to pick up a cross at childbirth, but whether you follow Christ with it depends only on you.

This book won't be the treat that 'Mere Christianity' was. It's more philosophical; it assumes the reader is a Christian and has some knowledge of Scripture. But nevertheless, everyone can follow his thinking and it will all make sense. About 160 pages, it has chapters of between 10 and 20 pages, and frames the problem in its right context before reaching his conclusion at the end of the book. This is not a make-you-feel-good (dumb) self-help book. It's a make you understand book.

Absolutely Amazing Tackling of the Issue.......2007-04-15

The first book of CS Lewis I read was "Mere Christianity" and I was profoundly stunned by how effective and witty he could be in his explanation of Christianity and Christian doctrine. So it was with eagerness that I devoted myself to the reading of this book.

And I was not disappointed in the least. The problem of pain is tightly linked with that of evil, in a world supposedly created and led by God. This is one of the most common, and most important, issues in theology, and I dare say, in everybody's life, provided they're somewhat curious about the world they live in. Justifying God on the counts of evil and pain is called theodicy, if I'm not mistaken, and that is what Lewis does in this book, but he does much more.

He deals with the basic problem I just mentioned, how could there be a good God when we live in such a wretched world, but he goes further and treats the human nature as "fallen", and that in a very interesting manner, not your silly Adam & Eve story taken literally (and by "silly" I don't mean the actual myth of Adam & Eve, just the literal taking of it).

Lewis tackles even such a complicated issue as animal pain and the condition of animals in Christianity. That shows quite some bravery.

One chapter is devoted to Hell, and another to Heaven, and either are really amazing prowess of theology. I'm no specialist of theology, but Lewis has a true gift in explaining of all this in a very clear fashion. He truly makes theology a thrilling matter!

After having read "Mere Christianity" and "The Problem of Pain", I'm absolutely convinced that I will get to read everything he wrote on theology, Christianity, and the likes. Regardless of your actual faith or lack thereof, you will find this book (or these books) worth your while. If you're interested in such things, please do yourself a favour and purchase those profoundly marvelous books.

Good Grief: A Constructive Approach to the Problem of Loss

Average customer rating:

Art
Great grief survival tool
Simple, Succinct, and Invaluable Resource for Grief Recovery
A Blessing and So Simple to Read
Good Grief

Good Grief: A Constructive Approach to the Problem of Loss
Granger E. Westberg
Manufacturer: Augsburg Fortress Publishers
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 0800611144

Book Description

Now available in a 35th anniversary edition, this book describes what happens to us whenever we lose someone or something important. We all need a better understanding of the small griefs in life as well as those larger grief experiences that can overwhelm us. Here is a volume to be kept close at hand. It can be used over the years as you encounter a wide variety of grief experiences or as you assist friends in moving beyond grief to good grief. Examines the stages of grief, from stage one -- a state of shock -- to stage ten -- a struggle to affirm reality.

Customer Reviews:

Art.......2007-07-08

I worked for Hospice Austin and we used this book in our grief counseling groups. It is an excellent guide to the stages of the grieving process.

Great grief survival tool.......2007-06-21

I buy this helpful grief guide for all those who are close to me who have the necessary grief steps to wade or wallow through.

Simple, Succinct, and Invaluable Resource for Grief Recovery.......2007-05-26

I was given this book when my oldest brother was killed in 1995. When your heart is broken and your psyche is reeling from shock, pain, disbelief, and loss, it is too much to fathom to try to read a long, involved bunch of psychobabble. Granger Westberg's Good Grief is an easy read and truly confirms that the stages of grief through which one travels are, indeed, normal. He also tells you that there are times when you need to seek professional help to guide you through the grief process. In the past 12 years, I have given this book to many friends and acquaintances dealing with various types of loss. To a person, they've all told me how helpful this resource is and have passed it on to others. This book is truly a Godsend to the hurting.

A Blessing and So Simple to Read.......2007-04-08

I was a counelor for over 20 years and have given this book or recommended this little book often. The author speaks truth in such a simple and kind voice. I've been helped by it and I know it has helped those I've introduced to the book. Grieving is sometimes compared to the dying process discribed by Eliz Kubler Ross. Not true. Grief is so very different. The tiny size of this book makes it perfect for a grieving person who can barely read anything and certainly nothing too complicated. It's simplicity makes it a great book for all people. It can also be read again and again as the grief process continues and the griever goes through many changes which feel unique to them but which are usually very common to all of us who have had cause to grieve.

Good Grief.......2007-03-23

This small booklet describes the ten stages of grief and is written in such a manner that it is easy to read and the reader need not read each section in order. It is a helpful reference book that is given out at my church's community grief support group, "The Comfort Zone," which is why I purchased a quantity of them.

Average customer rating:

Such a Heartwarming Story
Yet again...
"Good, Good, and Good"
Summer reading
You'll laugh (yes!) and cry

Good Grief
Lolly Winston
Manufacturer: Grand Central Publishing
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 0446694843

Amazon.com

Some widows face their loss with denial. Sophie Stanton's reaction is one of pure bafflement. "How can I be a widow?" Sophie asks at the opening of Lolly Winston's sweet debut novel, Good Grief. "I'm only thirty-six. I just got used to the idea of being married." Sophie's young widowhood forces her to do all kinds of crazy things--drive her car through her garage door, for instance. That's on one of the rare occasions when she bothers to get out of bed. The Christmas season especially terrifies her: "I must write a memo to the Minister of Happier Days requesting that the holidays be cancelled this year." But widowhood also forces her to do something very sane. After the death of her computer programmer husband, she reexamines her life as a public relations agent in money-obsessed Silicon Valley. Sophie decides to ease her grief, or at least her loneliness, by moving in with her best friend Ruth in Ashland, Oregon. But it's her difficult relationship with psycho teen punker Crystal, to whom she becomes a Big Sister, that mysteriously brings her at least a few steps out of her grief. Winston allows Sophie life after widowhood: The novel almost indiscernibly turns into a gentle romantic comedy and a quirky portrait of life in an artsy small town. At all stops on her journey from widow to survivor, Sophie is a lively, crabby, delightfully imperfect character. --Claire Dederer

Book Description

Customer Reviews:

Such a Heartwarming Story.......2007-09-30

I lost my dad 2 years ago and this story touched my heart. This is a must read story for anyone who has ever lost someone. I could relate to so many aspects of this story. Absolutely the best story I have ever read. Thank you Lolly Winston. Keep them coming!

Yet again..........2007-09-24

I get so excited when I see a book where the main character has the flaws we can all relate to. She's an emotional wreck, struggles with her weight, her frizzy hair, her overwhelming thankless job. But - and here be the spoilers!! - I get so disgusted when, time and time again, these characters make an impossible transition, discovering some amazing talent they never knew they had. From being an incompetent waitress to a fabulous pastry chef, from the frizzy hair to the silky ringlets, finding the perfect man who's hopelessly in love with her, and transforming a cutting arsonist into a well-rounded teenager. All this and so much more - within a year. It's not even believable.

"Good, Good, and Good".......2007-09-19

Ok, here is story that when your done reading, you just want more!!!
I have read this book three times and have given it as many gifts to friends who enjoy reading.
Simply said, incredible. Heart-warming and makes you smile when your done reading.

Pick this one up, you will not be disappointed :)
Happy Reading!!

Summer reading.......2007-08-28

I recently was struggling over the loss of a long time boyfriend. A friend said that I was acting a little bit "widowed" and recommended this book. It is very good in describing the overwhelming depths of grief, however I started caring about the story about 3/4 into the book.

I would recommend it anyway, it is great summer reading for alongside the pool or as a night reading companion for short trips.

You'll laugh (yes!) and cry.......2007-08-23

I never thought it was possible to laugh while reading about grief, but Lolly Winston has accomplished that in her debut novel. She made me laugh, cry, and just marvel at all the emotions Sophie went through shortly after losing her young husband. There were a few times where her grief was so raw, then she would do or think something off-the-wall. It just really shows how the mind is having a bit of a tug-of-war when everything is so unsettled. This certainly was a story of new beginnings and it was filled with a great sense of hope. Okay, so there was an element of cheesiness with the addition of a romantic interest (saw that one coming a mile away), but Lolly's writing is skillfull and very fresh. I highly recommend this book!

Sad Isn't Bad: A Good-Grief Guidebook for Kids Dealing With Loss (Elf-Help Books for Kids)

Average customer rating:

grief with young kids
good book
Good if you've lost Grandma, and believe in God...
Sad Isn't Bad
Limited

Sad Isn't Bad: A Good-Grief Guidebook for Kids Dealing With Loss (Elf-Help Books for Kids)
Michaelene Mundy
Manufacturer: Abbey Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 0870293214

Customer Reviews:

grief with young kids.......2007-09-22

My 8 yr old grandson was very interested in this. It lets them know it is normal to feel sad and blue and crying is okay when they lose a loved one.Helps them understand the whole grieving process.

good book.......2007-06-10

This is a great book for younger children who have had a great loss. I have read this to my 5 and 7 yr old after my dad died. This book let them know that their feeling are okay. I would recommend this book to any parent looking for a way to help a child through the grief process

Good if you've lost Grandma, and believe in God..........2007-01-31

Not nearly so useful if the person who has died is a sibling, or a parent. The book keeps telling the child to talk to their parents.... and the illustrations have a patchwork quilt cuteness that give an elderly feel to the missing soul. It does deal with anger being okay. It does say it's alright to cry. Not as helpful as I had hoped.

Sad Isn't Bad.......2005-12-16

I was looking for a book for a child who had lost her mother (a single parent). The book assumes there is a parent in the child's life. It would be a good book for a traditional and religious family.

Limited .......2005-09-30

This book would not be helpful for children of faiths other than Christianity.

Saying Good-Bye to the Pet You Love: A Complete Resource to Help You Heal

Average customer rating:

I read this for an R.N. Continuing Education course
A Wonderful Book for Pet Bereavement
Perhaps Works as a Textbook, But Not for Those Grieving
Too cold and unfeeling
Good Resource

Saying Good-Bye to the Pet You Love: A Complete Resource to Help You Heal
Lorri A. Greene , and Jacquelyn Landis
Manufacturer: New Harbinger Publications
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 1572243074

Book Description

Written by a psychologist who is a leader in the field of pet bereavement, this practical but sympathetic guide validates the survivor's often misunderstood feelings, explains the importance of the human-animal bond, and offers strategies for working through the grieving process. Some of the coping techniques include memorializing the pet, recognizing problematic thinking, and finding support. The book also covers dealing with guilt and explaining the pet's death to a child.

Customer Reviews:

I read this for an R.N. Continuing Education course.......2007-09-29

I found this book in a program that offers courses for R.N. continuing education. What a wonderful book! We have had many pets over the years. With three kids in the family, we've loved frogs, lizards, fish, cats, dogs and a horse. My horse is 25 yrs. old now and that's why this particular book caught my eye. I think it is very well thought out and written. I give thanks to Lorri Greene and Jacquelyn Landis for addressing the love that we have for our companions and how to help them-and us- to go on when their time comes. My daughter is in Vet school. I'm giving this to her. Good Book!

A Wonderful Book for Pet Bereavement.......2007-03-28

I got this book soon after I lost my 10-year-old Persian male soul mate, and it really helped me through a time of great sorrow. There are exercises to do that help you work through your grief and help you to understand your feelings. I highly recommend it for anyone dealing with the loss of a pet.

Perhaps Works as a Textbook, But Not for Those Grieving.......2007-01-13

I ordered this book and waited for it eagerly, based on "Search Inside" reading I did on Amazon. I hoped the chapter devoted to guilt experienced by "animal guardians," as the author considerately calls pet owners, when euthanasia or an accident precipitates a pet's death would speak to me. Therefore I was surprised to find the book more clinical than inspirational. I also found it emotionally distant from its subject...which perhaps is to be expected, considering that it was written by a psychologist. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone suffering from deep grief over a lost pet.

Too cold and unfeeling.......2007-01-11

Being in the mist of animal grief right now I just recently got this book. One of the things the author says is why one is grieving is to not look at the animal's toys or photos until later. Well the first thing I wnat to do is to have their photo out. She seems to contradict herself when she says there is no right or wrong way to heal then she says don't do this or that. I found the book trite, unfeeling ,and cold. I am sorry I bought it. I will return it and get "The Loss of A Pet" instead.

Good Resource.......2007-01-11

This is a good resource for parents unsure how to communicate with their children about grief and loss of a pet. I purchased it as a resource for my Good Grief Pet Support Group for children at my school. I found that it explained well what parents should do when a pet dies, give them activities they can do with their children to celebrate the pet's life, and resources to consider. A nice book to have in the delicate time of losing a favorite family member, your pet.

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An exceptionally moving work that showcases true courage, love, grace and hope for all, a real gift.
Elisabeth revealed our simplicity through the complexity
Kubler Rosss Second Best Hit
Living with Dying

To Live Until We Say Good Bye
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
Manufacturer: Scribner
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Grief & Bereavement | Death & Grief | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

General | Psychology & Counseling | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

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ASIN: 0684839482

Book Description

Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, whose books on death and dying have sold in the millions, now offers an extraordinary visual record of her work. Through the brilliant photographs of Mal Warshaw, To Live Until We Say Good-Bye gives a gripping, intimate view of Dr. Kübler-Ross's counseling work with terminally ill patients as she brings them to an acceptance of death.

Customer Reviews:

An exceptionally moving work that showcases true courage, love, grace and hope for all, a real gift. .......2005-10-24

The book, To Live Until We Say Good-Bye, is not your common book on dying and grief or even the medical psychology of it, as is quite internationally acknowledged with many of Kubler-Ross's previous works, i.e. On Death and Dying and On Children and Death, et cetera. Rather, out of all of her works (Kubler-Ross), I would have to say that this one is the most accessible and the most outright, in-your-face emotional, the one that really tugs at the heartstrings. But it is a work that does so in a positive, open and meaningful way. Medical and psychiatric jargon is totally set aside and the four dying patients-for whom this book is about-Beth, Jamie, Louise and Jack, are allowed to come to the forefront, to have their stories and experiences related to those (the readers) who are living or could possible be dying themselves. Accompanied by the well written text of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and the varied contributors are the affecting black and white photographs by Mal Warshaw, photos taken of the very subjects in their assorted states in the dying process. Nothing is held back in respects to the people who are profiled-the good, the bad and the ugly-yet dignity unequivocally pervades. In this book, we meet a former model (Beth), who to the very end, clung to her physical beauty as her paramount asset. However, her written poetry illustrated her articulate and intelligent substance that went way beyond looks: "Voices whispering, Beth, Beth/You can no longer stay/Hand reaching out to grasp/Helping me on my way./I'll no longer ache with sorrow/No longer feel this pain/So adieu and fare thee well now/I shan't see thee again. (P. 37). Also, we meet 71-year-old Jack, a former construction worker and rebounding alcoholic who sadly, lived to see his son die of lung cancer. But he found redemption and purpose by building doll houses for charity while as a patient at St. Rose's Home, run by the Hawthorne Dominicans in New york City. Through the series of photographs, his religious and psychological evolution becomes clearly evident, and it is a humbling and beautiful thing to see. And it is so for all those profiled, especially for Jamie and Louise, the other two patients who become are teachers. And their chapters are equally moving and powerful, if not more so. There too is an in-depth chapter on the fantastic work done by hospice and the heroics of everyday volunteers, people young and old who do not give "all" of themselves in order to give the best of themselves. All in all, To Live Until We Say Good-Bye is another great work that looks at life's final journey.

Elisabeth revealed our simplicity through the complexity .......2005-07-09

This book has taught me to experience the words that may have never been spoken if I had not of encountered Kubler~Ross through her work with the dying. We have a need to thank her for the journey she took ....

Kubler Rosss Second Best Hit.......2005-06-04

Kubler Ross- got this book right. The many telling photographs intermixed with very personal accounts of the dying and their family and friends makes for a moving and compelling journey into the emotions, experiences, challenges, disappointments of the dying.
The right balance between peronsal narratives, the authors commentary and photographs was achieved in this book- a feat most books on death and dying do not. Couple this book with Donald Heinzs book The Last Passage and as a friend, relative or caretaker of the dying youll have insight and knowledge into the world of the dying and some insights on what to do when someone you care about is dying.

Living with Dying.......1997-03-05

Reading a book about confrontations with death and dying by the terminal ill and by their families and loved ones may not sound like anyone's idea of "escapist fare" or a good rainy day pick-me-up, but this large picture book is first and foremost about the value of life and living. Undoubtedly one of the most "important" books I have read, To Live Until We Say Good-Bye spotlights three personal stories: a New York City poet and model dying of cancer, a young girl suffering with a brain tumor, and an older woman who refuses treatment of her illness to lead the remainder of her life in her own home. The stories are remarkable because there is a touching sense of revelation to each--that none of them had perhaps lived so fully and completely until they learned time was running out. The young girl's story, "Jamie," is especially moving because it not only deals with her concerns and fears about her future, but also those of her single mother and her young brother--and, ultimately, although the process of losing a loved one is unimaginably painful, the family is able to find some peace in their ability to make the final days meaningful--and full of life. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross narrates the stories, and Mal Warshaw provides the photographs; together, they have assembled an unpretentious and dignified lesson about seeking the value in life--surely, a message that is beneficial to and yet overlooked very often by us all

Fathers Aren't Supposed to Die: Five Brothers Reunite To Say Good-bye

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This book may be small..
Death Means Never Having to Say You're Normal
Shared experiences, shared healing.
Poignant and compelling
A grand journey

Fathers Aren't Supposed to Die: Five Brothers Reunite To Say Good-bye
T.M. Shine
Manufacturer: Simon & Schuster
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

General | Biographies & Memoirs | Subjects | Books

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Timeline Month In The Life Of A Guy Who Refuses

ASIN: 0684863510

Book Description

It begins with a phone call. It could have been his best friend, or the phone company trying to get him to make one more switch. Instead, it's the older brother he hasn't seen in years informing Terry Shine that their father is lying in a hospital bed unable to speak, bleeding in the brain. Terry and his four brothers rush to the hospital and prepare for the end, but nothing could have prepared them for what is to come.

"Old people are supposed to die," Terry acknowledges in a whisper of resignation. "Yeah, but fathers aren't," his brother Bill responds. Suddenly, five estranged siblings are plunged together into a bewildering world of medical choices and living wills -- of hours sitting by their father's bed, begging him simply to blink, to squeeze a hand, to nod. With no formal guidelines to follow, Terry and his brothers fumble along while their helplessness makes them focus on absurdities: What kind of car does each doctor drive? Which vending machine has the best Danish? They bring in a boom box and some of their father's CDs, trying everything in their power to drive the life back into him. They keep trying until sheer exhaustion leads them to the brink of acceptance. But, as the Shine family discovers, there is nothing that trains us to navigate death's terrain, and nothing we can do to come out of the experience unscathed: death slams us in ways we can never possibly have fathomed.

At once heart-wrenching, insightful, and piercingly witty, Fathers Aren't Supposed to Die masterfully captures the devastating experience of trying to come to terms with a parent's death.

Customer Reviews:

This book may be small.........2007-08-29

This book may be small but it is a memoir packed with information. It was a very good read on many levels..family relationships and death and dying; those two are the main themes. The author writes with a hint of mystery and I liked that touch to the memoir.

Death Means Never Having to Say You're Normal.......2000-05-21

( )...The only words that miss the mark of literaryexcellenceare on the cover of T.M. Shine's remarkable tale.

Thisain't no how-to anything or a cry on Oprah's wide shoulders. This is something wonderfully other.

If Elizabeth Kubler-Ross met Carl Hiaasen, T.M. Shine would be their bastard child. This book is laugh out loud funny, except when it's ripping your guts out.

Bill Moyers sells Shine short when he alliterates in his testimonial that "Fathers . . ." is "marvelous, moving and memorable."

It is marvelous and moving. Quite so. But there are whole pages you'll hope aren't memorable, because feeling their wrenching impact once is as much as a person ought to bear.

Nice going Mr. Shine. Now please remind the folks at Amazon.com that people who read shouldn't be judged by their books' covers. END

Shared experiences, shared healing........2000-05-09

I bought this book shortly after the death of my own father, and the subsequent reawakening of my friendship with my sister. I found the emotions and the passions in this book to resonate very deeply within my being - helping me to heal, since I learned that my feelings are common, valid and shared.

Poignant and compelling.......2000-04-11

This is a poignant, compelling story that those of us who are baby-boomers will soon experience ourselves, if we haven't already. Mr. Shine bears all - his personal pain, frustrations and annoyances - dealing with the inevitable death of his father and realizing the experience is bringing him close to his brothers once again and the past they share. He indicts the medical community that, he felt, treated his father as a temporary occupant of a hospital bed. Like impatient FAA air traffic controllers, nurses and doctors were unwilling to be inconvenienced by adult children who were reluctant to let the scheduled departure take off on time. A quick and fulfilling read.

A grand journey.......2000-03-26

I've read Shine since he wrote for The Miami Herald's Tropic Magazine. He's an undiscovered master. This book takes his readers on a painful but rewarding journey--the death of his father. It's entirely worth your time, even at double the price.

The Long Good Bye - Living with Terminal Illness

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The Long Good Bye - Living with Terminal Illness
Michael, Joseph Costello
Manufacturer: E-BookTime, LLC
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

General | Death & Grief | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

Grief & Bereavement | Death & Grief | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

Family Health | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books
ASIN: 1598244272

Book Description

If someone you know is sick or dying touch them, hold them, kiss them and spend time with them. Express your affection. Be present in the moment with them. How desperately those of us who face the end of life need and desire the last fleeting moments of intimate connection with those we love before we leave. The author shares the most intimate feelings of living with terminal illness and preparing for the last good bye. This is a must read for those who seek insight into this the most challenging of human experiences.

Is God to Blame?: Moving Beyond Pat Answers to the Problem of Evil

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No Two Biblical Interpretations May Coexist
Not all things that happen are God's will
A balanced view of Evil
...other books to read
Fails as serious response to evil

Is God to Blame?: Moving Beyond Pat Answers to the Problem of Evil
Gregory A. Boyd
Manufacturer: InterVarsity Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Grief & Bereavement | Death & Grief | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

General | Religion & Spirituality | Subjects | Books

ASIN: 0830823948

Book Description

Is God to blame? This is often the question that comes to mind when we confront real suffering in our own lives or in the lives of those we love. Pastor Gregory A. Boyd helps us deal with this question honestly and biblically, while avoiding glib answers. Writing for ordinary Christians, Boyd wrestles with a variety of answers that have been offered by theologians and pastors in the past. He finds that a fully Christian approach must keep the person and work of Jesus Christ at the very center of what we say about human suffering and God's place in it. Yet this is often just what is missing and what makes so much talk about the subject seem inadequate and at times even misleading. What comes through in Is God to Blame? is a hopeful picture of a sovereign God who is relentlessly opposed to evil, who knows our sufferings and who can be trusted to bring us through them to renewed life.

Customer Reviews:

No Two Biblical Interpretations May Coexist .......2006-10-12

I open with a Bible verse from the Gospel of Matthew Chapter 5 verse 40, "and if anyone would sue you and take your coat, let him have your cloak as well;" Any Biblical literalist who is willing to put that verse into action, I am willing to listen to. In the meantime tremendous quantities of words by certain sectors of the self avowed Biblically correct have been spilled out upon this book in these reviews. A universal anger among certain of the devout permeates an assessment of how God allows free will to act. I am so glad that my fellow man feels free to impose his interpretations of Scripture on me as writ large by God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit and him or her self as the case may be. Amateur exegesis at this level is awe inspiring if for nothing more than its intolerant virulence. Obviously, a preponderance of the readers of this book as reflected in these threads are offended by Boyd's proposition that God is not the direct author of every evil event in the world and the cosmos.

Which leads me to the following observation. Boyd musters a plausible case for his theology backed by reasonable Biblical exegesis. Is this book a tour de force by a master theologian? No, but it does represent one possible Bible based exposition of the problems of the authorship and responsibility for evil in the world. The constant reminder that Jesus Christ is the revelation of the one true God who assumed human form for our salvation and edification is paramount to Boyd's knowledge of God. The radical egalitarian love of Jesus is constantly pointed out as the true reflection of God the Father. Other interpretations of scripture are assuredly available, and Boyd makes no exclusive claims for his theology. However, it is the certainty of the correctness of their theology on the part of many in the reviewing population that distresses me. Hidebound doctrinal arguments and positions of self righteousness are tearing the Church apart. The Church is the body of Christ on earth. What are we doing other than the work of Satan? Where is Christian love, tolerance and corrective spirit when needed? Boyd speaks for a kinder gentler God who allows us the freedom to cavort with the devil if we wish. However, he does not attribute responsibility for the results of our iniquity to a master plan of the Lord.

This is the first and last book I will be reviewing that deals with contemporary Christianity. This book came up for me to read in the context of a structured conversation on Augustine and free will. If one looks at my reviews, they will find them centered on the history of the early Church and antiquity. The early Church suffered through just such problems of division as we do today. And to its credit, the early Church always sought to reform and reintegrate the "holier than thou" as exemplified by the Mellitians and Donatists, and it attempted to rehabilitate and bring back into communion its heretics. Each soul and life is and was precious to God. It was only later that the Church burned dissenters and heretics at the stake. And please remember, the author of this book is not some "new age" liberal theologian. He is a respected scholar at a conservative mid-western theological seminary. He is also the pastor of a major evangelical church in St. Paul, Minnesota. And yes, he has lost over twenty percent of his flock because of his theology and writings. I can only suggest that one reads and reflects on this book and makes up their own mind as to whether Boyd is right or wrong. If the idea of God as author of all evil in the world as part of His inscrutable plan for His creation disturbs you, this book will present an alternate, albeit hotly contested, look at the issue. It was in 1919 when one of the most brilliant minds of the 20th Century, Bertrand Russell, at the end of World War One stated and I paraphrase, "If this war was part of your God's divine plan, I do not wish to know Him." Do not Christians wish God to be known to all men?

Not all things that happen are God's will.......2006-05-25

Boyd explores the idea that not everything that happens in our world is God's will. He develops the thesis that we were created with true free will, which necessitates the possibility of things happening which God does not want to happen. The practical implication in regards to suffering is that when we suffer, God suffers with us, rather than causing our suffering for some higher purpose.

Another idea Boyd discusses is that rather than God's will being something which is inscrutable and creation being relatively simple, he suggests that God's will is easy to understand (it is demonstrated in Jesus Christ), but creation is incomprehensibly complicated.

Boyd emphaszies that our starting point in understanding God's character needs to be Jesus Christ. He is our starting point. Everything we need to know about God was revealed in Him. Starting from here, he seeks to develop a theology of suffering which is consistent with the picture of God which Jesus Christ presented.

A balanced view of Evil.......2005-09-19

This is a great book with a balanced view of evil. This book is a shorter version of Satan and the problem of Evil, by the same author. This book presents a theology that explains the problem of evil in a way that the layperson can fully understand how a God of Love can also be a God of Wrath. It presents a realistic theology dealing with Satan and the fallen angels, and mankind's responsibility for evil in this world. This book does all these things while preserving and even expanding God's sovereignty, and demonstrating that men and women have a free will.

...other books to read.......2005-03-18

For someone who has read some of Boyds books I don't agree with everything he says....he does get you thinking and for thinking people he has compelling answers that shouldnt be tossed aside lightly. We should be thinking reasoning christians not looking for the pat answers that plague so many christian answers to life. Not that we set aside the Biblical truth for our own but likewise we don't discard completely human reason. I find it so interesting to read others reviews that denounce his books with an almost hateful attitude. I have heard that we become just like the God that we revere. If you believe in a god of hate in any form and violence you will most likely become just that. Two other wonderful books that come from another viewpoint but support a God of love and relationship, might be interesting to people who have read this book. They are "Servants or Friends?: Another Look at God" and "Can God be trusted?" both by author Graham Maxwell. These books and I think Boyds books give christian and non christian alike, hope in biblical truth and the truth about the father and the son, that they are both for us not against us...our freedom and his wanting of a relationship with us is paramount.
Shane

Fails as serious response to evil.......2005-01-20

For those enjoying Rabbi Harold Kushner 'Why Bad Things Happen to Good People', this will make a spongy sequel.

If you are serious about answers to the problem of evil in a Good God's world, read the Book of Revelation carefully with a good commentary (Mounce, Alan Johnson, Metzger, More Than Conquerors). Suffering is the way it is in this cursed world, for believers & unbelievers alike. You can either follow the Beast and be in pain-avoidance/rationalizing mode ("I demand answers! I want out!"). Or you can follow the Lamb and see God-authorized suffering/tribulation as redemptive and conformative to Christ Who suffered unbearably, yet conquered ("Thy will be done. We must thru much tribulation enter the Kingdom of God"). Christus Victor!

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