The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond

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Are you now, or have you ever been, in relationships with family, friends, or mates who have been verbally abusive? Is your happiness with someone you love continually threatened by interactions that continually undermine your self-esteem? Do you feel trapped in a relationship that keeps decaying in a downward spiral of overt or passive-aggressive abuse?

If so, this book could be your life raft, either carrying you toward repair of the existing relationship or the effects of past relationships or offering liberation from your current confusion. Its practical approach can help clear your head and possibly change your life. The only criticism that I and other readers have is that the author assumes verbal abuse is almost always directed by males toward females, which, in my experience and that of others I know, is not necessarily the case. Highly Recommended.

Book Description

If you or someone you know answers "yes" to one or more of the following questions, this book is required reading:

Does your partner seem irritated or angry at you several times a week?
Does he deny being angry when he clearly is?
Do your attempts to discuss feelings of pain or emotional distress leave you with the feeling that the issue has not been resolved?
Do you frequently feel perplexed and frustrated by his responses, as though you were each speaking a different language?

Almost everyone has heard of or knows someone who is part of a verbally abusive relationship-if they're not involved in one themselves. In The Verbally Abusive Relationship, you'll find validation and understanding-it's "not all in your head"-and encouragement for your efforts to change the situation. In this expanded second edition, author Patricia Evans explores the damaging effects of verbal abuse on children and the family, and offers valuable insight and recommendations to therapists, as well as those who seek therapeutic support.

Customer Reviews:

What a horrible piece of bitterness.......2007-09-22

I read this entire book at my wife's request - but the book was thrown against the wall more than once. I guess if you listen to this pompous and self-righteous author, that makes me an abuser. Of course, her main point was that if I am a man, I am an abuser. You could hear the bitterness of her probably coming from a bad relationship.

Of course women love this book. According to his author, a women is not responsible for her own happiness, her husband is. You don't have to get very far into the book to see her ridiculous list of things that identify an abusive husband - she's not happy, she doesn't feel understood, she is confused, her husband gets angry, her husband doesn't tell her his feelings, her husband tells her his feelings.

Then you go on to some more indicators. What "red flags" should a woman look for to call her husband an abuser? If he brings her gifts, if he takes her to a nice restaraunt, if he says he loves her, if he doesn't understand her, if she doesn't understand him, if he talks to her, if he doesn't talk to her, if he asks her if everything is OK, if he pays too much attention to her, if he doesn't pay enough attention to her.

Then this author goes on with the feel-good psycho-babble. If you feel it - it is true. Do you feel alone - you have been abandoned. Do you feel sad - you are abused. Do you feel like you don't understand your husband - you are being deceived.

How did she get the information for this book? By talking to women - only women. Not one single man. She didn't determine if what the woman was telling her was accurate or a complete fictional account. Why wouldn't she talk to men? Because we're all abusers - why would she waste her time talking to any of us. This bitter lady is a certified man-hater and it appears to be her goal in life to break up as many marriages as possible.

She offers about 3 pages on how to keep a relationship together - but not before telling the woman that the only real solution is to leave your husband if he is an abuser - and we're all abusers. She goes on and on about how there is almost no chance whatsoever salvaging a marriage, so you might as well divorce your husband and live alone for the rest of your life.

This is a horrible hate-filled book and it saddens me how many marriages this bitter woman will destroy.

Finally.......2007-09-11

My daughter said, "How does one study verbal abuse? The abuser denies it". So, this book is soooo helpful in describing the situation. Finally, someone understands! The author puts into words experiences so many have, yet cannot share. Not being able to share and be understood is a prison to the soul. The author also has some answers, and I'm sure more will come, even from the reader! If you think you're crazy, the "only one" who is unable to relate to your spouse, or a failure as a woman/spouse, a must read!

Relationship analysis.......2007-08-30

This book is very "text bookish" and I feel it would be beneficial to have written this book as more of a story line and not so much repetition. I was hopefull that Patricia could have focused more on the "abuser" becoming less abusive and more cooperative with his mate. I do like the short questionares she recommends to take to determine an abusive status in a relationship. There is truely much to gain by this book, but I feel a more personable approach would have been better.

This Book Saved My Life...........2007-08-12

With friends and family trying to convince me to stay with my husband...because he was the life of the party, so sweet and kind to them, and because I would be homeless and penniless if I left...
This book saved my life. I went from a "full-of-life" woman to a weak and depressed shell-of-a-person. I was so sad and exhausted from his verbal abuse that I didn't want to go on living.
So here I am, homeless and penniless..with nothing but the clothes on my back and Patrica's book under my arm. At least I know I am not crazy and that I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.
With all my heart...thank you.

Helpful advice on protecting yourself from verbal abuse.......2007-08-10

Verbal abuse might not be as visible as physical abuse, but it can be just as damaging. What makes this type of abuse so insidious is that the victim blames herself, further weakening her self-esteem, instead of placing the responsibility firmly where it belongs - on the abuser. Patricia Evans unmasks verbal abuse in all its hurtful guises, from the most obvious such as yelling and name-calling, to the covert manipulations of sabotage, double-speak and denial. Evans bases her insights and conclusions on extensive research. She uses real-life situations and dialogue to shed light on this dark, destructive ailment - though she sometimes can be repetitive and unnecessarily complex. Her in-depth analysis of the dynamics of verbal abuse may be more suited to therapists and researchers than to victims seeking coping advice. Evans would be the first to say that if you are in imminent danger, get professional help or a cop. We recommend her book to anyone who might be in a verbally abusive relationship or who cares about someone who is. Therapists and counselors will also benefit from this well-researched thesis.

Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic

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still waiting
Sustaining and Reobtaining Eroticism and Passion in Long Term Relationships
An eye opener!
Some interesting perspectives on relationships
A must read

Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic
Esther Perel
Manufacturer: HarperCollins
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

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ASIN: 0060753633
Release Date: 2006-09-05

Book Description

Why does great sex so often fade for couples who claim to love each other as much as ever?
Can we want what we already have?
Why does the transition to parenthood so often spell erotic disaster?
Does good intimacy always make for good sex?

Ether Perel takes on these tough questions, grappling with the obstacles and anxieties that arise when our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit of passion. She invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home.

In her twenty years of clinical experience, Perel has treated hundreds of couples whose home lives are empty of passion. They describe relationships that are open and loving, yet sexually dull. What is going on?

In this explosively original book, Perel explains that our cultural penchant for equality, togetherness, and absolute candor is antithetical to erotic desire for both men and women. Sexual excitement doesn't always play by the rules of good citizenship. It is politically incorrect. It thrives on power plays, unfair advantages, and the space between self and other. More exciting, playful, even poetic sex is possible, but first we must kick egalitarian ideals and emotional housekeeping out of our bedrooms.

While Mating in Captivity shows why the domestic realm can feel like a cage, Perel's take on bedroom dynamics promises to liberate, enchant, and provoke. Flinging the doors open on erotic life and domesticity, she invites us to put the "X" back in sex.

Customer Reviews:

still waiting.......2007-08-29

I have still not received teh books I ordered and paid for on 28 July 2007

Please follow up and let me know what has happend to my order

Sustaining and Reobtaining Eroticism and Passion in Long Term Relationships.......2007-08-06

First of all be warned: This book is about sex. And it is about sex in a very concrete way. It is about the erotic aspects of sex. It is not concerned at all with the mechanical aspects of sex and it has certainly no pornographic qualities whatsoever.

"Mating in Captivity" contains an amazingly useful and at the same time literarily piece of couples counseling. Esther Perel wants to help bring back eroticism and a sense of the poetic to long term relationships. Her book is not only quite practical on a wide range of aspects of this problem field. It transports itself a little of this feeling.

Like most counseling books it contains examples of the Jane and John type. For those of us, who sometimes get a little annoyed of the usual stereotypes get a pleasant surprise: her characters breathe. On the other hand, if you now expect true literature you might be disappointed: it is still a counseling book.

I do highly recommend this refreshing guide for the interested audience.

Postscript:
The title is inspired by a poem of D. H. Lawrence "Wild Things in Captivity".

An eye opener!.......2007-07-23

This book came at exactly the right time for me. It addresses an issue that I have been thinking about for a while. Sex in committed relationships. Why is it that even though you grow closer and closer to your partner that the passion in your sex life just dwindles away?

The author of "Mating in Captivity" seems to have found the answers to that. Esther Perel is a couples therapist and with the help of some case studies from her practice she illustrates how different aspects of our domestic life are holding us back from experiencing earth shattering passion with our life partners.

This book delivers new insights that other books on sex in marriages usually lack. Instead of advising to do whatever it takes to get closer to your partner and schedule time for sex, it suggests to emphasize one's independence and uniqueness. This in turn will create more of a gap between partners which seems to be necessary in order to have great sex.

I was hoping for a little more of guide on how to reconcile the erotic and the domestic. But then again Perel's intention wasn't on writing a How-To- Book. Nonetheless this book will open your eyes if you've ever wondered why your married sex life is nothing compared to your dating sex life back in the days.

Some interesting perspectives on relationships.......2007-05-06

This book breaks from the traditional "better emotional intimacy means better sex" and really tries to understand what prevents couples from having satisfying sexual relationships. One new perspective is that of how fidelity or lack thereof affects a couple's sex life. Definitely an interesting, thougt-provoking read.

A must read.......2007-04-02

If you have experienced break downs in relationships that were important to you then read this book. Having been married three times as well as in two de-facto relationships I thought I knew what was happening and blamed my personality characteristics for a lot of the failures. This book enabled me to see what was going on in a completely different light. It is clear, full of interesting cases and examples and very well researched. I am now in yet another important relationship, perhaps the most important of all and believe I am handling things much better. Sure its not easy but this book helps guide my efforts and understand my feelings in a very positive way. Thank you esther!!!

Rural Women Battering and the Justice System: An Ethnography (SAGE Series on Violence against Women)

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Rural Women Battering and the Justice System: An Ethnography (SAGE Series on Violence against Women)
Neil Websdale
Manufacturer: Sage Publications, Inc
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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Ordeal

Accessories:

ASIN: 0761908528
Release Date: 1997-11-11

Book Description

Addressing a significant void in the extant literature on the topic of domestic violence, Rural Woman Battering and the Justice System presents a thorough and arresting look at the experiences of battered women in rural communities. While living in the rural areas of Kentucky, Neil Websdale conducted his ethnographic research, and he situated the voices of rural battered women at the center of his ethnography. He clearly demonstrates how rural patriarchy and the insidious "good ol’ boy network" of law enforcement and local politics sustain and reproduce the subordinate, vulnerable, isolated position of many rural women. Taking into account that traditional patterns of intervention can often put women in isolated communities at further risk, the author recommends a coordinated multiagency approach to rural battering that is spearheaded by state feminist agencies. The chapter on the difficulties of an educated male researcher working with rural battered women offers a definite methodological plus. Illuminating and accessible, Rural Woman Battering and the Justice System makes a most important and timely contribution to the field.

An excellent training resource for anyone working with battered women, especially in rural areas, Rural Woman Battering and the Justice System is highly recommended for law enforcement and criminal justice professionals, practitioners, advocates, shelter personnel, and advanced students in related courses of study, as well as academics and researchers.

You Don't Have to Take it Anymore: Turn Your Resentful, Angry, or Emotionally Abusive Relationship into a Compassionate, Loving One

Average customer rating:

Excellent Self-help For Individuals & Couples
The Best
No more walking on eggshells!!
The best book ever written on emotional abuse
Extremely valuable and helpful book!!!

You Don't Have to Take it Anymore: Turn Your Resentful, Angry, or Emotionally Abusive Relationship into a Compassionate, Loving One
Steven Stosny
Manufacturer: Free Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

General | Self-Help | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

Abuse | Self-Help | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

Applied Psychology | Psychology & Counseling | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

ASIN: 0743284690

Book Description

As many as one-third of all American women tiptoe through life as if they are walking on eggshells -- at home, they spend most of their time trying to avoid criticism, anger, put-downs, or cold shoulders from their husbands or boyfriends. This verbal and emotional abuse can erupt over anything and everything, matters large and small: housework, cooking, work, spending money, buying household items and clothes for the kids, and going out. Clearly, verbal and emotional abuse is a serious problem.

Relationship expert Dr. Steven Stosny has been featured on national media for the revolutionary techniques he uses in his Compassion-Power and Boot Camp programs, which help men rewire their resentment and anger, stop using emotionally abusive language and behavior, and compassionately recommit to their marriages and families.

Now, in You Don't Have to Take It Anymore, Dr. Stosny puts his effective, highly sought-after program into print, making it widely available for the first time for women who want to stop walking on eggshells. Drawing on his seventeen years of experience treating thousands of clients, Dr. Stosny explains the many different forms a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship can take. He explains how to identify abuse and why it's important to take action to change the relationship -- for not only is verbal and emotional abuse monumentally destructive to both the adults in the relationship, it also hurts their children. Dr. Stosny shows women and men how to apply his methods at home, shows women how to get their men to change, and demonstrates how they can know if change is permanent. Additionally, Dr. Stosny's program helps women recover from the pain and abuse by practicing self-healing skills so that they can reclaim their natural sense of competence and confidence. Using language that is more compassionate and accessible than in any other book on relationship abuse -- and different tactics from most other therapies and therapists -- You Don't Have to Take It Anymore presents a practical program that both women and men can use to stop verbal and emotional abuse.

Download Description

"As many as one-third of all American women tiptoe through life as if they are walking on eggshells -- at home, they spend most of their time trying to avoid criticism, anger, put-downs, or cold shoulders from their husbands or boyfriends. This verbal and emotional abuse can erupt over anything and everything, matters large and small: housework, cooking, work, spending money, buying household items and clothes for the kids, and going out. Clearly, verbal and emotional abuse is a serious problem. Relationship expert Dr. Steven Stosny has been featured on national media for the revolutionary techniques he uses in his Compassion-Power and Boot Camp programs, which help men rewire their resentment and anger, stop using emotionally abusive language and behavior, and compassionately recommit to their marriages and families.

Customer Reviews:

Excellent Self-help For Individuals & Couples.......2007-05-08

Stosny's book is excellent! It teaches individuals how to heal from the pain anger has caused and how to heal relationhips damaged by anger in clear and simple steps. I have used the book in counseling with couples struggling in emotionally and physically abuse relationships. Doing the exercises and applying the principles in this book can bring peace and power to the individual and to the relationship.

The Best.......2007-04-29

In my opinion, the best book out there for healing angry, emotionally abusive relationships--for both partners. His approach has been tried and tested for years, and is much more effective than the typical anger management and batterer intervention and prevention programs.

No more walking on eggshells!!.......2007-04-23

This tremendous book is slowly chipping away at the walls of resentment, revealing a true sense of self that I thought was long since dead.
I'd also recommend "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" along side it. No matter what direction I choose, I am now positive that I will be much healthier and happier as a result.

The best book ever written on emotional abuse.......2006-08-09

I have read many books on emotional abuse and this book, by far, is the best. Dr. Stosny must have been a fly on our wall over the last 25 years to be able to reiterate "verbatim" some of the conversations and events that have happened in our home.

As a woman, I highly recommend this book for other women who either know they're being emotionally abused, or have that gnawing feeling deep down inside that tells them something just isn't right about their relationship.

Dr. Stosny provides you with insight into your situation, and a Boot Camp section for your husband/boyfriend to go through. He also provides advice on what to do if either party is unwilling to go through the process. Make no mistake - this is NOT a quick fix. The abuser must come to terms with the fact that the recovery process may take years to complete. But things can still get much better than they are now very quickly.

Ultimately, this book provided me with much needed peace of mind by showing me that I wasn't crazy to think that life HAD to better than this, and that I didn't have to live this way. If you are in this situation, or know someone who is and if you love them, PLEASE buy this book. It will be the greatest thing you could ever give them.

Extremely valuable and helpful book!!!.......2006-04-05

An angry or emotionally abusive relationship is overwhelming and confusing to both the husband and wife. Steven Stosny gives you a method with specific steps to take to get yourself out of this horrible situation, with both of you healing and hopefully saving your marriage. It is a remarkable book that has changed my life for the better. I have also been to his boot camp, which I highly recommend. Thank you Steven for giving my husband and I the tools to profoundly change our relationship back to a happy and loving one.

FAMILY LAW 5E (The West Legal Studies Series)

Average customer rating:

Good book - informative
was all i was looking for

FAMILY LAW 5E (The West Legal Studies Series)
William Statsky
Manufacturer: Cengage Delmar Learning
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

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ASIN: 0766833585

Book Description

"Family Law, 5th Edition," is an excellent introductory guide for anyone with an interest in family law. It provides an in-depth overview of family law with a focus on the skills needed by a paralegal working in this area. Such skills include legal analysis, legal interviewing, legal investigation, and legal research for the family law practice. This updated fifth edition has been expanded to include new information on such current, hot button family law topics as homosexual marriage, child support enforcement, and surrogate parenting.

Customer Reviews:

Good book - informative.......2007-01-10

I had to buy this book as part of a college course curriculum.

This book was well written and easy to read. I really enjoyed the material covered in the book.

Of course, the professor of the course I was taking added a lot of personal material which was extremely helpful, but overall this was a great book for the course.

There is definitely room for improvement as there were quite a few grammar and spelling errors in this book as well as two instances of absolutely incorrect legal information concerning family law which the professor had to bring to our attention.

was all i was looking for.......2005-09-20

I got it on time(only 5 days and I am in italy so 5 days is a good deal) the book was new like it was stated, still in plastik

Breaking Free from Boomerang Love: Getting Unhooked from Borderline Personality Disorder Relationships

Average customer rating:

The first book that made sense of my "relationship"
The light in a very dark tunnel.
Making Sense of the Craziness!
Helpful to read her journal and love the cartoons
Content hit home

Breaking Free from Boomerang Love: Getting Unhooked from Borderline Personality Disorder Relationships
Lynn Melville
Manufacturer: Melville Publications
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Codependency | Mental Health | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

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ASIN: 0976060035

Book Description

Through daily readings and affirmations, the reader is led into an inspirational, experiential journey as seen through the eyes of a partner to someone suffering with borderline personality disorder. Breaking Free from Boomerang Love progresses from the silent withdrawals to the exploding rages of the BPD, from the fearful, walking-on-eggshells to the ultimate healing and empowerment of the partner. The message is applicable to all relationships -- lovers, family members, friends and work associates. Breaking Free from Boomerang Love describes how the partner of the borderline personality disordered person repeatedly leaves the relationship, only to return to it, again and again, desperately trying to fix an illness they don't even know the name of -- and which only the BPD can fix, with professional mental health help. Many books have been written by mental health professionals about borderline personality disorder. Boomerang Love is the first ever written by a partner about the disorder and the experience of living with it.

Customer Reviews:

The first book that made sense of my "relationship".......2007-09-25

I got your book last night and read the whole thing straight through. I've read every self-help book I could get my hands on since meeting my boyfriend, and this is the first one that made any sense. Thank you so much!

The light in a very dark tunnel........2007-07-06

Living in the eye of a storm surrounded by chaos was my life for the past almost four years. When the engagement ended I didn't know what normal was anymore. Boomerang love is the calm after the storm. Lynns book helped me understand I wasn't alone. I found clarity to the confusion and sense of betrayal of a love I felt was real. It's the only book I have found that helps you as a survivor of a Borderline relationship find the tools needed to heal your soul. I would highly recommend this book to anyone recovering from an emotional or physically abusive relationship. It's my bible.

Making Sense of the Craziness!.......2007-04-10

I always thought he was just a "zero-to-sixty in 0.3 seconds" kind of guy! At first, I tried to believe the jealousy just proved he loved me. I thought all the bragging about his intellect, accomplishments, and possessions was just a cover-up for his insecurity. However, with the help of this book, I gained new insights into the phenomenon that lay at the root of all his behaviors. Melville writes in a learned yet easily accessible style, and practicality seems to be her muse. However, I found that the "Pot-Shot" illustrations, while acerbic and witty, detracted from rather than added to the value of this tome.

Helpful to read her journal and love the cartoons.......2007-01-12

This book is helpful in that it is like reading someone's journal as they process through the trials and tribulations of being in a romantic relationship with someone (and breaking free from that relationship) who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) -- but it is formatted like a daily meditation book. It is a different kind of book, but I found it to be validating of one's experience and comforting at the same time. I especially appreciate the captioned cartoons. Many of them are quite profound, as well as entertaining. I would recommend this book for anyone who is in or has been in a romantic relationship with someone who has BPD. It won't tell you directly how to repair any of the damage that has been done, but by reading the author's experiences/insights it will help point you in the direction of right thinking - and that is healing.

Content hit home.......2006-09-01

Currently divorcing a partner with BPD, and this book is a wonderful self help effort. I highly recommend it. It puts SO much into perspective.

Comparative Politics: Domestic Responses to Global Challenges

Average customer rating:

A Good Choice for AP Comparative Politics
Semi-interesting
Great Service
Adequate, but just barely
History book for High School students!

Comparative Politics: Domestic Responses to Global Challenges
Charles Hauss
Manufacturer: Wadsworth Publishing
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

General | Politics | Nonfiction | Subjects | Books

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ASIN: 0534590535

Book Description

Balancing theory with application and now in a new, exciting full-color design, Dr. Hauss' COMPARATIVE POLITICS is the best-selling comprehensive text for the Introduction to Comparative Politics course. The book uses a unique theme-DOMESTIC RESPONSES TO GLOBAL CHALLENGES-to introduce key concepts and examines the growing interdependence among strong and weak states through the discussion of 12 countries. The introduction establishes a comparative structure based on 5 themes that are treated as appropriate for each individual country in color-coded boxed features. The themes are conflict, democratization, economic liberalization, globalization, and challenges. The countries discussed are categorized by economic development, helping students develop their skills of comparison, synthesis and interpretation amongst countries of similar economic status. Students will gain an understanding of some of the most important general trends, an exposure to politics in a number of countries, and a desire to dig more deeply into this fascinating and exciting field of comparative politics.

Customer Reviews:

A Good Choice for AP Comparative Politics.......2006-03-19

As an AP Comparative Politics teacher, I have taught out of both the 4th and 5th editions of this book and have found it a good choice for a student text. I find it much more readable (particularly for high school seniors) than some of the more comprehensive texts. If you want to prepare your students adequately, however, you will need to supplement with outside material. For example, the Hauss text does not touch directly on political socialization which is a topic covered on the exam. I use Gabriel Almond's "Comparative Politics Today" as teacher resource.

Hauss delves heavily into the historical background of many of the countries, in particular those in the "Third World" section. This can be helpful for students who have a weak world history background, but as a teacher you will need to emphasize AP exam vs. background material.

Comments on the 5th edition vs. earlier editions: To follow the requirements of the new AP Comparative Gov't exam, this edition adds chapters on Nigeria and Iran. These chapters seem hastily done however as the Nigeria chapter in particular has several typos and the Iran chapter is comparatively short.

Chapters on Japan and South Africa are no longer in the printed text but there are on-line chapters on these countries, as well as an on-line chapter on Canada, on the author's website.

The 5th edition adds COLOR pictures which is a nice change from the 4th edition and makes the text somewhat more engaging for high school seniors, however compared to other high school texts visual appeal is not high on the publisher's priority list.

In summary, a good choice for AP Comparative politics as long as the teacher recognizes the need to supplement from outside sources where necessary.

Semi-interesting.......2005-12-30

We're using this book for our AP Comparative Government course, and I really have mixed feelings about it. While the information and style of writing is much more interesting than previous AP social studies books that I've had, the book is a bit dense in its black-and-white format with lots and LOTS of text. The other component that this book is also lacking is a BRIEF run-through or diagram of the countries' political systems. If you want to fashion your own condensed version of these systems, you must wade through quite a bit of text that is not particularly well organized.

Great Service.......2005-08-22

Wonderful service, arrived in a timely fashion and book was in great condition. Thanks again, cheaper than my campus book store!

Adequate, but just barely.......2005-08-18

Use: University Level Introductory Politics Class

The good: Basic information on a wide variety of countries, from Mexico to Russia along with the basic outline of third world, newly industrialized countries and the first world. Bias is hard to determine and only slightly apparently in a few chapters. The companion website is excellent offering quizzes, flashcards and up to date information about each chapter. It may even be possible to ignore the book and focus exclusively on the website. Finally, while the chapters are somewhat tedious, the author ties them all together in a manner that allows the study of several chapters at the same time.

The bad: The CD is garbage. Absolute garbage. You don't need to even look at it to get a decent grade. The book, while clearly a introductory book is not well suited in many aspects for college level. High school European history teaches at least 25% of the book in superior ways. Also the author has a bad tendency to go from basic to vastly complicated and even writes that the gap between them is too time consuming. If history was a puzzle, this book would only give you the core and the outside pieces. Due to such behavior on the part of the author, the lack of information leading from the introductory information to the complicated makes it difficult to use properly in a college class. To properly understand the assess why things happen and how those events may shape the future, all of the pieces of information must be presented. This book fails to do so. Another bad thing is that the price, while slightly lower then most textbooks of similar design is that it is paperback not hardcover, and therefore cannot be resold for a decent amount at your local bookstore.

History book for High School students!.......2003-03-24

Using this book for an introductory course @ SUNY Stony Brook. The book is difficult to read; 52+ lines per 9 ½ page!! The entire book is black and white. News photos with loose commentary replace interesting Illustrations and descriptive graphs. Too much historical opinion and too less comparasion & contrast of facts, entities, leaders and political systems.

Book Description

"It is my feeling that debilitating shame and guilt are at the root of all dysfunctions in families," says Jane Middelton-Moz. A few common characteristics of adults shamed in childhood: You may suffer extreme shyness, embarrassment and feelings of being inferior to others. You don't believe you make mistakes, you believe you are a mistake. You feel controlled from the outside and from within. You feel that normal spontaneous expression is blocked. You may suffer from debilitating guilt; you apologize constantly. You have little sense of emotional boundaries; you feel constantly violated by others; you frequently build false boundaries. If you see yourself in any of these characteristics, you can learn how shame keeps you from being the person you were born to be and how to change that. Shame And Guilt describes how debilitating shame is created and fostered in childhood and how it manifests itself in adulthood and in intimate relationships. Through the use of myths and fairytales to portray different shaming environments, Dr. Middelton-Moz allows you to reach the shamed child within you and to add clarity to what could be difficult concepts. Read Shame and Guilt - you're worth it.

Customer Reviews:

Great.......2007-06-17

This small book is about much more than the difference between shame and guilt. It is about degrees of shame (to the point of debilitating shame), ways that children are shamed, the consequences, characteristics of adults shamed as children and a lot more. One specific topic that I found extremely interesting was the explanation of grandiosity as a response to debilitating shame, which makes this book required reading for people with this symptom (such as alcoholics and families; bipolars may also benefit). Great condensed book.

Excellent book.......2006-11-01

I read this book cover to cover and I plan reading it again. The author does and excellent job of explaining how shame and guilt are transmitted across generations and how shame effects people. I especially like the fable she use in chapter one to illustrate the giant chameleon and perfect personalities and how they interact in a family. The illustration of Giant and Chameleon on oposite ends of the spectrum and the human being in the healthy middle was very insightful. I also liked the example she gave of how a shaming family handled a dispute between there sons and how a nonshaming healthy family does it.

This book has taught me a lot and given a lot of insight into my condition and my family. It has also helped me and my wife to be better parents to our children. I would recomend it to anyone who is dealing with these issues.

Couldn't Put It Down: Full of Insight.......2005-03-18

Never really thought about the difference between shame and guilt until I read this book. Guilt being when we blame our behavior in a given circumstance and shame being when we judge our very being. It has made me think twice about how I parent my own children and discipline their behavior. Eye-opening !

I found this book very helpful.......2002-05-29

I remember having this book recommended to me years ago at the now closed "Journey's Bookstore" in Beaverton, Oregon. The woman who recommended it had actually heard the tape edition of this book first and was placing an order for the book version. She told me that it made her "cry for the child within her." I thought that any book that had such a powerful affect as this, must be a book I should read.

I ordered the tape and book edition. I listened to the tape version first (which was of the author talking to an audience about the content of this book), and then I read the book. The two together were quite powerful. The most interesting thing about this book was that it differentiates between "guilt" and "shame." The author says that often we use the two interchangeably. But the author says that they are actually two different things. The author says that guilt is "the feeling that what you have DONE is wrong," and that shame is "the feeling that what you ARE is wrong."

An absolutely illuminating book for shamed adults........1998-07-22

An amazing book that touches at the very core of the feeling of shame. If you feel there is something fundamentally wrong with you, or feel you're hiding awful secrets inside you - read this book! Shame lies at the very heart of so many problems; this book is a great start towards healing that shame.

What Every Woman Should Know about Divorce and Custody

Average customer rating:

should be 6 stars....tremendous for a man's perspective.
LOVE THIS BOOK
About Custody, and a MUST READ
Very Helpful
What Every Woman Should Know About Divorce And Cusody

What Every Woman Should Know about Divorce and Custody
Gayle Rosenwald Smith
Manufacturer: Perigee Trade
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Children | Family & Health Law | Law | Subjects | Books

Divorce & Separation | Family & Health Law | Law | Subjects | Books

Domestic Relations | Family & Health Law | Law | Subjects | Books

General | Law | Subjects | Books

General | Practical Guides | Law | Subjects | Books

Private Law | Law | Subjects | Books

Divorce | Family Relationships | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books

ASIN: 0399524479

Book Description

"If I sleep with my boyfriend, could I lose the kids?"

"Should I make a deal--and accept less child support--in order to keep my son?"

"Can a vacation without my kids be considered abandonment?"

These are just a few of the tough questions that today's mothers face in a complicated, ever-changing legal system. Now more than ever, women are finding out--the hard way--just how difficult and unpredictable child custody cases can be. What Every Woman Should Know About Divorce and Custody is the first and only book of its kind--a complete insider's guide filled with crucial advice from judges, lawyers, therapists, and mothers who have gone through this challenging legal process. It is designed for women at every stage of divorce, and covers a wide range of legal strategies, as well as financial and psychological issues. Also includes:Choosing a lawyer Mediations vs. courtroom trials What to expect before and in court Blended families Domestic violence Risk factors for women What makes a custody agreement good or bad Dealing with your emotions Parental kidnapping possibilities Hot button issues Mothers and money PLUS an appendix of recommended reading

Customer Reviews:

should be 6 stars....tremendous for a man's perspective........2007-08-07

What Every Woman Should Know About Divorce and Custody is a necessary resource for women and men in the process of going through a divorce, as well as for those trying to decide whether or not to divorce, and even after divorce, when custody and child support issues still rear their ugly heads. It is clear, concise, and comforting. This book is a real eye-opener to those thinking about or just starting the process, and provides important information and tactics to all readers about this brutal process. Many lawyers treat the divorce process like a chess game and this book gives you an insider's view of the system. This book arms you with the information to wage the battle. The book is newly updated. It gives good tips on e-mail, virtual visitation, spyware, and other twenty-first century issues that I hadn't even considered. I had read the author's book Divorce and Money and I found this book on custody to be a great help with all of the custody issues.

LOVE THIS BOOK.......2007-03-28

I read this entire book from front to back in 1 day. IT WAS GREAT. Full of useful information and makes you feel that you can do this wether your the initiator or not

About Custody, and a MUST READ.......2007-01-24

I agree that this book is about dealing with a custody battle. If you have children, and are thinking about getting divorced, I recommend you read "Divorce Busters" because the custody process is truly horrible, and because there are a lot of marriages out there that could and should be saved. Unfortunately mine was not one of those, and this book has been invaluable in guiding me through the process intelligently. There are few underhanded tricks listed, which I rather approve of (although it does mention that you should interview the town's "Shark" lawyer before your husband does so that he can't hire him) Just a LOT of good advice! Read this before you choose your lawyer, and you will get a lot more bang for the considerable bucks you are likely to be investing. Read this BEFORE you leave your family home if possible! But do read it; you won't be sorry.

Very Helpful.......2005-09-12

Well written, easy to understand with loads of advice and comfort for those going through the challenges of a custody battle. The author shares some of her own experiences and leaves you with a feeling of hopeful optimism. I consider this a must-read for any parent going through a divorce. I thought that her comments on dressing for court and behavior during separation were common sense, but perhaps there are some readers who would need to understand better how their image and demeanor affect a judge's perception of them as a parent. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone trying to gain custody of their children.

What Every Woman Should Know About Divorce And Cusody.......2004-02-22

This is the most thorough and informative book on divorce issues that I have read. As a divorce attorney, I am always curious to know what other attorneys are thinking. Ms. Smith's perspective and commentary mirror much of my own experiences and conclusions. The book is easy to read and filled with relevant, realistic examples and practical advice. I highly recommend this book to both nonlawyers, who have a reason to learn about this subject and to lawyers so they can refine and expand their knowedge of the divorce process.

Family Violence Across the Lifespan: An Introduction

Average customer rating:

Family Violence Across the Lifespan: An Introduction
Ola W. Barnett , Cindy Miller-Perrin , and Robin Perrin
Manufacturer: Sage Publications, Inc
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

General | Mental Health | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

Interpersonal Relations | Relationships | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

General | Psychology & Counseling | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

Social Work | Social Sciences | Nonfiction | Subjects | Books

Violence in Society | Social Sciences | Nonfiction | Subjects | Books

Dysfunctional Relationships | Family Relationships | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books

All Titles | Qualifying Textbooks - Fall 2007 | Stores | Books

Nonfiction | Qualifying Textbooks - Fall 2007 | Stores | Books

Parenting & Families | Qualifying Textbooks - Fall 2007 | Stores | Books
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ASIN: 0761927565

Book Description

Click 'Additional Materials' for downloadable sample chapters

"I think that the authors do a tremendous job of integrating findings from a very large body of research and presenting their analysis in a reader-friendly way. The text is particularly strong in orienting the reader to the research issues, including the current state of knowledge in the area. I have found the text to be very well done and extremely useful in providing students with an introduction to the very broad field of family violence. I have recommended the text to colleagues and students. I applaud the authors for this work and thank them for creating such a comprehensive text."
--Diane Hiebert-Murphy, Faculty of Social Work, University of Manitoba

"This book includes an impressive overview of different types of violence and organizes a large amount of research material to make it accessible to the upper-level undergraduate. Students will easily follow the organization of topics, themes, and questions, and long chapters include several intermediary summaries, which is good.”
--Jean Giles-Sims, Texas Christian University

A thoroughly updated and expanded new edition of the bestseller, Family Violence Across the Lifespan, Second Edition helps students achieve a deeper understanding of the methodology, etiology, prevalence, treatment, and prevention of family violence. Research from experts in the fields of psychology, sociology, criminology, and social welfare is woven together to provide broad coverage of current viewpoints and debates within the field of domestic violence study. Practice and policy considerations provide new and welcome perspectives, and in addition, informal interviews with leading authorities in the field of violence add depth and clarity to the topics. Organized chronologically, chapters cover child physical, sexual, and emotional abuse; courtship violence and date rape; spouse abuse, battered women, and batterers; and elder abuse.

Key Features

* Boxed inserts focusing on current controversies
* Case studies bring the focus from research and societal analysis down to the individual
* Intermediate chapter summaries provide students a concise synopsis of research-based discussions
* Interviews with experts provide students a glimpse of the variety of research interests, philosophies, and training typical of many of the professionals working in the field
* Discussion questions at the end of each chapter

New to This Edition

* A comprehensive glossary of key terms used in the field
* End-of-chapter sections on social policy and practice issues
* New chapters entitled Child Maltreatment (Chapter 6), Key Issues in the Field of Child Maltreatment (Chapter 7), and What Can I Do to Help? (Chapter 13)
* A new section on the abuse of disabled persons
* Greatly expanded coverage on intimate violence between same sex or unwed partners, along with cross-cultural considerations
* Additional materials available on the Web

Family Violence Across the Lifespan, Second Edition offers a comprehensive and accessibly written introduction that is ideal for use in undergraduate and master's level courses in family violence, domestic violence, and abuse offered in departments of sociology, psychology, social work, counseling, and criminal justice.

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