Amazon.com
Arguably the best book ever on what is increasingly becoming the science of persuasion. Whether you're a mere consumer or someone weaving the web of persuasion to urge others to buy or vote for your product, this is an essential book for understanding the psychological foundations of marketing. Recommended.
Book Description
Some people just won't take no for an answer. In Influence, Dr. Robert Cialdini explains the six psychological principles that drive our powerful impulse to comply to the pressures of others and shows how we can defend ourselves against manipulation (or put the principles to work in our own interest).
Influence guarantees two things: Readers will never say yes again when they really mean no, and they'll be more persuasive than ever before.
Customer Reviews:
Better yet, buy it for someone else!.......2007-10-04
Just reading Influence by Robert Cialdini. Wow. What a brilliant book. There's so much here for marketers to be aware of. A lot of this is taking things we do intuitively, or that we've learned from from experience and exploring the psychology behind it. I'm of the mind that the more you know how something works, the more you'll be able to use it to your advantage.
There is a fantastic chapter on consistency that explores our natural tendency to want to stick to our guns once we've made a commitment.
"If I can get you to make a commitment (that is, to take a stand, to go on record), I will have set the stage for your automatic and ill-considered consistency with that earlier commitment. Once a stand is taken, there is a natural tendency to behave in ways that are stubbornly consistent with the stand."
The author cites a great number of stories, anecdotes and examples to illustrate each point. It's really fun and I can see using these examples many times in presentations and in idea generation.
For instance, he sites how weight loss experts use the written commitment to help set people set and stick to their goals. Also how Amway uses the same method. Or the numerous Proctor & Gamble contests that encourage you to "tell us in x number of words why you love product y"
Can you get a commitment somehow?
It's just one of many great examples in this book. Buy it. Better yet, buy it for someone else. You'll learn why that's a good idea when you read the book!
Someone just replaced my sales six shooter with an AK-47.......2007-09-21
Someone just replaced my sales six shooter with an AK-47. Wow! This is a very valuable book, not just for sales but for life. He has five main areas on what influences us. I have used them all, but now I really know how to use them: Reciprocation ( I give you a bit to get a lot) , Commitment and consistency (If I get you to state in public what you will do, you will likely do it), Social Proof (If you see others doing it you will too), Liking, (All I need is you to like me and if I provide a good deal, I make a sale), Authority (Nurses could kill you if a Dr says so!), Scarcity ( if I give and then take away an item, you want it more) . His discussions wheel from how to ensure you get help if you are having a heart attack to how to prevent a revolution. Thoughtful, insightful, easy to read and to use. He has reaffirmed my faith in some academics. Buy it! Read it! "Cause if you don't, when I call, you will buy whatever I am selling, "cause you haven't got a chance now!
Must read!.......2007-09-20
I can sum it up by this, when I was in college a professor assigned us to read a couple of chapters in the book for the next class. I complained saying we had enough on our plates. The professor then told me, James, if you read these chapters and don't find them interesting, I'll give you an "A" in the class. So, trust me, I picked up the book "fully" expecting not to like ... but I couldn't put it down. And true to his word, the professor asked me in front of the class if I thought it was worth the read and I had to say yes and that I found it fascinating.
I found Influence to be a very captivating read. This book gives insight to both those in the marketing field and for every consumer. I see "tricks" outlined in book that people try to use on me all the time ... this book has helped me with defensive techniques at sales pressure. I've also purchased it for several friends.
I highly recommend it.
A shield against weapons of influence.......2007-09-11
Advertisers use six psychological principles to take money out of our pockets. They exploit our habit of taking certain shortcuts to make decisions. The author thoroughly explains these six principles by using research data and many interesting and instructive stories. But most importantly he instructs the reader, how to say no, and thus shield herself when weapons of influence are turned on her. In the long run this book could pay for itself a thousand times over.
WOW!!.......2007-09-05
I wish I could condense the experience of reading this book down to a pill, I'd take it every morning. One of the best books I've ever read. Every chapter is packed with examples, all extremely fascinating.
This book should be required reading for anyone living in a human society. If you are in business of any kind or have kids, buy this book immediately, you won't regret it.
Book Description
The Autism Acceptance Book is an interactive, educational, and character-building book that introduces children to the challenges faced by people with autism while also supporting their personal journey toward appreciating and respecting people's differences.
This book offers educational information, conversation-starters, and engaging exercises that invite children to "walk in someone else's shoes" as they learn to treat others the same ways they would like to be treated themselves.
Customer Reviews:
Great for group and individual.......2007-09-09
I really like this book. I appreciate that it encourages the reader to find commonalities with a friend who has autism. It shows that people can be friends with those who have autism. I am an educator in my church and I plan to use this is children's small groups.
Great book to explain to family and friends.......2007-05-13
I have a son with Autism and this book helped my family understand many of the issues that my wife and I had been trying to explain for years. I actually have ordered 4 books!
A good overview of friendships and autism.......2007-04-11
This book was wonderful to share with my son's friends and classmates.
Best Group Lesson Plan.......2007-03-30
I recently took this book to my son's third grade classroom and spent an hour just talking with the kids about Autism. With this book as a guide, it was easy to clearly explain the symptoms of autism. The suggested portions of "walking in their shoes" provided a simple way for the kids to begin to understand what it might be like to have ASD.
The book provoked wonderful questions from the kids and referencing the book I was able to give understandable answers.
Even though we live with autism, it helped my third grader to better understand his brother. It is well written, well layed out and simple to follow. I'll be taking it to my daughter's pre-k classroom soon. It shows children that differences aren't scarry. They are just different.
I highly recommend this book.
not what we hoped--but still good.......2007-03-12
This is not a book so much for parents of children with ASD or for the child themselves. Rather it is an individual workbook for peers and classmates of children with Autism.
Average customer rating:
- BPD
- How to Live With a Borderline Without Going Crazy
- Eggshells is a great book plus another recommendation
- Stop Walking on Eggshells
- The book that changed my life
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Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care about Has Borderline Personality Disorder
Paul T. Mason , and
Randi Kreger
Manufacturer: New Harbinger Publications
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Binding: Paperback
 Interpersonal Relations
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Similar Items:
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I Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality
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The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook: Practical Strategies for Living With Someone Who Has Borderline Personality Disorder
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Surviving a Borderline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds & Build Trust, Boundaries, and Self-Esteem
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Borderline Personality Disorder Demystified: An Essential Guide for Understanding and Living with BPD
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Sometimes I Act Crazy: Living with Borderline Personality Disorder
Accessories:
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Health o Meter HDC100-01 "Grow with Me" Teddy Bear Scale for Babies and Toddlers
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Braun IRT 4020 ThermoScan Ear Thermometer
ASIN: 157224108X |
Book Description
Stop Walking on Eggshells: Coping When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder is a self-help guide that helps the family members and friends of individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD) understand this self-destructive disorder and learn what they can do to cope with it and take care of themselves. It is designed to help them understand how the disorder affects their loved ones and recognize what they can do to get off the emotional roller coasters and take care of themselves.
Customer Reviews:
BPD.......2007-10-06
As a parent of a BPD this is absolutely helpful, and was recommended by our Dr. However it can be depressing as this disorder can wreck havok on your life.
How to Live With a Borderline Without Going Crazy.......2007-10-06
As a Clinical Psychologist who works with BPD (and lived with one) I don't know of another book that is more helpful to the spouse or family of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder. It provides both reassurance (that they are not "making it all up") and helpful guidance for how to best handle their Borderline loved one, most notably the importance of "mirroring" unacceptable behavior and limit setting, while reminding them of the BPD's constant never-ending need for their own reassurance. For torn between the deepest fears of abandonment and of being controlled, BPD's are perpetual tornadoes of emotion without the ability to regulate it. So while this book isn't as helpful as others regarding the psychotherapy BPD's need (cf. psychodynamic or dialetical behavior therapy), it is the best one available to help families deal with their loved one's inability to handle strong negative emotion and their marked swings between extreme passion and semi-psychotic distortions, the most notable being the accusations that they are "controlling" the BPD loved one. The only thing I would have added would be an index, though I use the book so much I ended up making my own.
Eggshells is a great book plus another recommendation.......2007-10-01
Eggshells is a great book. It is full of helpful advice when you have a friend that suffers from BPD. It helps a layman understand the disorder and ways to protect yourself from the emotional demands of someone with BPD. It helped me a great deal understand not only the condition of BPD but also how caring for someone with BPD effected me in regards to my emotional health. Eggshells further gives assistance in recognizing certain red flags when a person with BPD is breaking down your boundaries and emotionally sucking you into their world. The book is very sympathetic to the reader and gives a very understanding view to the person that suffers from BPD. It is a one of the foundation books referred by therapist to assist people with weak boundaries or someone trying to deal with a friend that suffers from BPD. I wholeheartedly recommend the book and suggest keeping it close by as you will refer to it often.
Another book about BPD I would strongly recommend is One Way Ticket To Kansas: Caring About Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder And Finding A Healthy You. This book presents a more personal view as it addresses the emotional impact of BPD on the partner (spouse, romantic relationship, significant other). It includes the diagnosis criteria in easy to understand terms, ways to rebuild your self esteem, and gives a very touching personal story of the author that describes the impact and disorder progression of having a wife diagnosed with BPD.
In a book market with very few helpful books to explain BPD and its impact in laymans terms, these two books stand above the rest. I strongly recommend picking up copies of Stop Walking on Eggshells and One Way Ticket and keeping them close. You will find youself referring to them often for validation and advice. You may also want to look into some online support groups for people effected by having a loved one diagnosed or suspected to have BPD. Godspeed, keep you head up, and know that you will be strong enough to make the right decisions for yourself.
Stop Walking on Eggshells.......2007-09-15
The book describes how to recognize borderline personality disorder in a person for whom you care. It also gives advice in plain language on how to deal with this person.
The book that changed my life.......2007-08-24
This book was recommended to me by a therapist i was seeing for marital difficulties. When i read it, it gave me answers for 18 years of chaos in my marriage. It also gives me compassion for my husband, and resources for support groups for me. I HIGHLY recommend it for anyone feeling crazy in an interpersonal relationship, not able to understand the other person's behavior. It also helps you understand what borderline personality disorder is, since it's very complicated and each person has unique traits and different levels of each trait. What a relief to finally have some hope and some resources to help with the chaos.
Amazon.com
Julie Fast and John Preston have written a ground breaking book for couples who want to prevent manic depressive disorder from hijacking their relationship. Fast, a health writer diagnosed with bipolar illness and clinical psychologist Preston are ideal companions. Their innovative ideas will be welcomed by exhausted partners of "bipolar individuals"--whose illness can cause them to alternate between manic and depressed behavior. Once medication has been prescribed, the key is studying the specific ways your partner is effected. This allows couples to develop pro-active strategies for treating and stabilizing mood swings and symptoms, before they develop into full-blown crises. The techniques emphasize prevention, rather than putting out fires. These include understanding the difference between the person and the disease (know when "the bipolar disorder is talking") listing your partner's specific symptoms, identifying the triggers that lead to these symptoms and transforming the "bipolar conversation" The goal of all the tools is to pinpoint early warning signs of a manic or depressive episode and be prepared with a holistic treatment plan. Other segments of the book deal with the work (checkered resumes) and financial problems (spending sprees) created by this illness. The author's ideas are engaging, compassionate and realistic--an oasis of relief and hope. --Barbara Mackoff
Book Description
When a person loves someone with bipolar disorder, life can be very stressful. From medication troubles to a partner's mood swings the demands on a partner can be intense. Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder takes a unique and practical approach to these issues.
Written by an author who has bipolar disorder (and who lived with a partner who also has bipolar disorder) and a coauthor with over ten books on the topic of mental illness, the book offers specific, practical and realistic tips on how a couple can work together as a team to create a treatment plan that teaches them to live with the illness while still maintaining a loving and joyful relationship. (Though this book is written for couples, friends and family members can use the techniques in the book as well.)
Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder provides hope and encourages couples to work together to create a plan they can use to help stabilize bipolar disorder so that their relationship can focus on love and companionship instead of the illness. Chapters include ideas on how to create a comprehensive treatment plan that incorporates medications and supplements, diet, exercise and behavior and lifestyle changes into one practical approach to this very serious illness. The partner of a person with bipolar disorder learns about communicating with their partner when they're ill, getting real about the situation and how to take on other roles in healing besides caretaking. Other specific topics include work and money, emotions, sexual issues and much more. The goal of the book is to help couples create a relationship that is based on support and prevention instead of constant crisis control.
Customer Reviews:
Loving Someone With Bipolar Disorder.......2007-08-23
I found this book to provide direct information about Bi-polar disorder. The writers don't hold anything back. Bi-polar disorder is very destructive and can devastate a family. I feel the writer's offers practical help if one is committed to a relationship with someone that suffers from Bi-polar disorder.
Loving someone with bipolar disorder.......2007-08-15
I was very disappointed in this book. It did very little to make me feel hopeful about my relationship with someone who suffers from bipolar. It places all the responsibility of avoiding triggers on the healthy spouse. The person with bipolar has no responsibility in monitoring behaviors, medications, physical, or emotional health. It sends a very unhealthy message. I believe that ultimately it is up to the person with bipolar to manage the disease with the help of a well-informed doctor, loving and understanding family members, and loyal, supportive friends.
Something lacking.......2007-07-21
I was very excited for this book, I was really seeking out an all-encompasing book on the topic for my loved ones. After reading this book, not one of my loved ones will ever see this book, unless of course they seek it out and purchase it themselves. I think this book casts people with Bipolar in a very negative light. Instead of being useful and instilling hope, I found it to be depressing and very limiting. I feel you should give your loved ones a really good idea of what it means to be bipolar, but it should be cast in a positive light, not a negative one.
Superb Book.......2007-07-20
Everyone in a relationship with someone who suffers from bipolar disorder will benefit from reading this book. Period.
Going a long way to understanding bipolar.......2007-07-15
I found this book an extremely useful tool/insight into the world of bipolar. The practical tips given can go along way into eliminating some of the chaos that bipolar can create within the sufferer and those who love them. While nothing is a cure all, these helpful hints can create dialogue between the people involved and a deeper understanding. It is written in a gentle and constructive way for carers who may find it difficult to crawl into the mind of the person they love and understand that certain behaviours are not coming from a rational space. As it is often hard to know what practical things to do with an irrational disorder "Loving Someone With Bipolare Disorder" is an excellent place to start and gives hope for brighter more in control future. The book is useful also for the bipolar sufferer to understand what the disorder can do to those they love and the importance of taking their "triggers", "symptoms" and "what works" for them seriously. I really enjoyed this book and would recommend to anyone needing to understand bipolar better.
Book Description
Johnson Institute Helping those who don't want help. In Intervention: How To Help Someone Who Doesn't Want Help, Dr. Vernon Johnson describes the process that has successfully motivated thousands of chemically dependent people to accept help. In simple terms, this book shows how chemical dependency affects those around the addicted person, and teaches concerned people how to help and how to do it right.
Customer Reviews:
Was hoping for better.......2007-08-23
I was looking for a book that would help with a family intervention for health issues. I found this book some what helpful; it did outline the mechanics of the process in the second half of the book. The first half was primarily about the psychology of a substance abuser.
Easy read.......2007-08-16
Read this book really quickly prior to a family intervention. Easy read, gives the reader a basic understanding of chemical dependency and how to intervene.
Intervention.......2007-07-14
Thsi was helpful to read to understand brain disease and Chemical dependency and then great for understanding the best way to stage an intervention for a loved one who won't help themselves.
Intervention: How to Help someone Who Doesn't Want Help.......2007-02-14
Outstanding. A huge help. A must read for anyone with an alcoholic in the family.
This helped me sooooo much.......2007-02-06
My father almost drank himself to death,literally. My sister and I decided on an intervention and knowing my dad knew we couldn't have a stranger present...so it was up to us to plan an intervention that he would "hear".
This book literally gave me the "know how" to plan the intervention. More importantly it gave me an understanding of how someone becomes an alcoholic in straightforward terms that made sense, not just to me but to my sister and aunt who I insisted read this manual as well.
If you have someone in your life that needs your help...Vernon Johnson's "Intervention" is an outstanding place to start!
Average customer rating:
- learn to communicate positively
- loved the book!
- This book saved my marriage
- First, we must learn to dance alone
- great wisdom from an easy-to-read writer
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The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate
Harriet Lerner
Manufacturer: Harper Paperbacks
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Binding: Paperback
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Similar Items:
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The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships
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The Dance of Intimacy
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Fear and Other Uninvited Guests : Tackling the Anxiety, Fear, and Shame That Keep Us from Optimal Living and Loving
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The Dance of Deception CD: Pretending and Truth-Telling in Women's Lives
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Life Preservers: Good Advice When You Need It Most
Accessories:
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philosophy hope in a jar daily moisturizer
ASIN: 006095616X
Release Date: 2002-08-06 |
Book Description
In her most affirming and life-changing book yet, Dr. Harriet Lerner teaches us how to restore love and connection with the people who matter the most. In The Dance of Connection we learn what to say (and not say) when:
- We need an apology, and the person who has harmed us won't apologize or be accountable.
- We don't know how to take a conversation to the next level when we feel desperate.
- We feel worn down by the other person's criticism, negativity, or irresponsible behavior.
- We have been rejected or cut off, and the other person won't show up for the conversation.
- We are struggling with staying or leaving, and we don't know our "bottom line."
- We are convinced that we've tried everything -- and nothing changes.
Filled with compelling personal stories and case examples, Lerner outlines bold new "voice lessons" that show us how to speak with honor and personal integrity, even when the other person behaves badly.
Whether we're dealing with a partner, parent, sister, or best friend, The Dance of Connection teaches us how to navigate our most important relationships with clarity, courage, and joyous conviction.
Customer Reviews:
learn to communicate positively .......2007-08-09
I was not impressed with the style in which the book was written, and I struggled to keep reading it in the beginning. However, I think the information she provides in the book is invaluable and after sticking with it, I learned a lot about how to talk to people in various types of relationships and situations. I would particularly recommend this book for people like me who find themselves speaking out of emotion, because this book can help you recognize your weaknesses and learn the benefits of communicating with control and with purpose.
loved the book!.......2007-04-10
book in excellent conditions, great quality and delivery! one of the best books I've read, highly recommended for everyone in the search of wellness in all relationships
This book saved my marriage.......2007-03-02
If there is one book that you read to help you make connections to people please read this. I can bet that it will make a profound difference in you ability to connect to anyone. You will be able to have conversations without accidently pushing the other person's sensitive buttonw. On the other hand, if you wish to push a button you will be able to do so in a profound manner, and with malice of forethought. You will know how to avoid pushing buttons during a conversation, thus encourage two way communication, even with someone who is not familiar with the book's teachings.
First, we must learn to dance alone.......2007-02-04
To me, this book is the closest thing to an instruction book on relating to others in ways that preserve the self. Harriet offers clear, insightful, and do-able advice on learning how to hear our own voice and then clearly (and courageously) share it with others. Throughout the book, she continually illuminates the theme of focusing on the self instead obsessing about the other. The dance of connection begins with learning how to gracefully dance alone.
great wisdom from an easy-to-read writer.......2007-01-10
I found this book full of wisdom and only wished I had read it when I was exactly in some of the situations Ms. Lerner describes. However it is still relevant to me now and I look forward to applying it into the future. I love to drop back into her books regularly for new insights. Friends have benefitted too - we had a couple of great days just chilling after Christmas - reading and walking together. And great discussions on some of her key points. Add it to your book club and open yourselves to a whole new world.
Average customer rating:
- He is not crazy
- Highly recommended
- Essential
- Borderline personality disorder
- excellent resource!
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The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook: Practical Strategies for Living With Someone Who Has Borderline Personality Disorder
Randi Kreger , and
James Paul Shirley
Manufacturer: New Harbinger Publications
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
Walking
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Similar Items:
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Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care about Has Borderline Personality Disorder
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I Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality
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Surviving a Borderline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds & Build Trust, Boundaries, and Self-Esteem
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Borderline Personality Disorder Demystified: An Essential Guide for Understanding and Living with BPD
-
Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship
Accessories:
-
philosophy hope in a jar daily moisturizer
-
Tanita BC533 Glass Innerscan Body Composition Monitor
ASIN: 1572242760 |
Book Description
Randi Kreger draws on extensive new research to provide advice for successfully navigating life with someone who has borderline personality disorder. Step-by-step suggestions--many from users of the author's comprehensive website-- help readers set and enforce personal limits, communicate clearly, cope with put-downs and rage, develop a safety plan, and make realistic decisions. Throughout the text are worksheets, checklists, and exercises that build on one another and enable readers to apply the suggestions to their lives.
Customer Reviews:
He is not crazy.......2007-07-13
If you have a loved one acting unreasonable one day and loving the next,read this book They may not be on drugs not Bi-polar but Borderline Personality Disorder maybe after reading you will have an understanding of the behavior.It is treatable and gives we who live with this person hope the .Ranting , raving blambing ia explained along with sggestions on coping..Best book on this subject I have found.....
Highly recommended.......2007-06-27
A godsend and an eye opener. Well worth getting if BPD traits are present in your loved one.
Essential.......2007-06-09
This workbook is essential for anyone who has a loved one with BPD or suspected BPD traits.
Borderline personality disorder.......2006-11-06
Excellent resource for dealing with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder. Great help for understanding BPD behavior and how to deal with it.
excellent resource!.......2006-09-02
this book has proven to be an excellent resource for family members and co-workers who have expressed some frustrations in their relationships with individuals with BPD. it provides helpful background information to help people understand the problem and conceptualize it. it provides realistic exercises and suggested approaches that usually seem to be very helpful in relating with individuals with BPD. if one book to provide, i prefer this book over the other eggshell book in that it is better received, more understandable, and more useful. some patients' loved ones take it and hide it for a while as they begin reading it. almost all find that eventually it is most effective when there is real cooperation between partners on learning new, more effective ways of relating. i've given out at least one dozen copies of this book and it is very popular. i believe it is well worth the price, new, given the tools and hope that it can provide.
Book Description
Mourning the death of a loved one is a process all of us will go through at one time or another. But wherever the death is sudden or anticipated, few of us are prepared for it or for the grief it brings. There is no right or wrong way to grieve; each person's response to loss will be different. Now, in this compassionate, comprehensive guide, Therese A. Rando, Ph.D., bereavement specialist and author of Loss And Anticipatory Grief, leads you gently through the painful but necessary process of grieving and helps you find the best way for yourself.
Whether the death was sudden of expected, from accident, illness, suicide, homicide, or natural causes, Dr. Rando will help you learn to:
Understand and resolve your grief.
Talk to children about death.
Resolve unfinished business.
Take care of yourself.
Accept the help and support of others.
Get through holidays and other difficult times of the year.
Plan funerals and personal bereavement rituals.
How To Go On Living With Someone You Love Dies also includes a comprehensive resource listing and a chapter on finding professional help and support groups.
There is no way around the pain of loss, but there is a way through it. Dr. Rando offers the solace, comfort, and guidance to help you accept your loss and move into your new life without forgetting your treasured past.
Customer Reviews:
How To Go On Living When Someone You Love Dies.......2007-05-14
My favorite choice of books on dealing with the death of a loved one. Educates you on things to expect from grief, suggestions to make it through, and then ways to reinvest in life without your loved one.
Understand your grief........2006-11-10
After learning of this book through the Boulder,CO hospice organization, I have recommended it to three close friends. They all gave it in turn to other family members. Explanations of the grief process reassure the reader that they need not worry if they do not 'grieve' in the same way
others do. Much wisdom to be found here.
How to go on living when someone you love dies.......2006-03-11
This is very easy to read and very practical. The author has great insight into grief and gives much knowledge for men and women going through grief. The book not only deals with all phases of grief, but also looks at secondary losses as well.
I would highly recommed this book to anyone going through grief no matter how fresh the loss or the type of loss incurred.
How to Go On Living When Someone You Love Dies.......2005-09-22
I found the book to be very helpful to me in coping with the sudden loss of my Father. It helped me to confirm that I was not losing my mind.
How to go on Living when someone dies.......2005-09-15
Fresh in my grief, I found this a hard book to read. It has a lot of text book information and probably is very helpful later in grief. But, it reads like a text book and I found it hard to process when my grief was so fresh.
Book Description
A non-technical, true-to-life book that shatters the myths about homosexuality, its causes and cures. Not based on simple pat answers, you Don't Have To Be Gay gives clear instruction, well-documented argumentation, heartening encouragement, honest self-analysis and practical suggestions. Perfect for all who desire to understand homosexuality and its root causes.
Customer Reviews:
Faulty "research" = invalid conclusions.......2007-09-11
I realize that this book was originally written in 1987 and at that time, the studies cited by this amateur author weren't so grossly out of date as they are now. However, this book is in its 4th printing (2000) and a good scholar, rather than someone with a moral agenda to push, would have updated their research.
Even in 1987, the studies cited were outdated, clearly biased and/or lacking any scientific validity whatsoever (psychoanalytic "studies" from the 1960's), or blatantly misrepresented (John Money's "success" of gender socialization? Read "As Nature Made Him" by John Colapinto for the real story).
Gender orientation and sexual orientation are NOT the same thing; homosexuality is not a "symptom" of a "damaged" gender identity. Neither gender nor sexual orientation is 100% socialization, as Konrad tries to claim; there IS an inborn component, which he would have learned had he done some current research - but of course, that would only happen if he had actually wanted to give a fair and balanced study of the topic, which is clearly not his purpose.
Konrad's use of "science" is a joke at best and dangerous at worst as he tries to push the idea that homosexuality is a disorder, a symptom, and not only a "choice" but the WRONG choice. This book should've died in the 80's where it belongs.
For the new struggler.......2007-06-27
Pastor Konrad's book, "You Don't Have To Be Gay" is one is read initially back in 1989 at Outpost Ministries. It was challenging to me then as I started out my journey out of homosexuality.
Today, I like blessing brothers just starting their journey with copies of "You Don't Have To Be Gay" as a means to help them along in their journey! I highly recommend it for any man leaving the Gay Lifestyle or for men wanting to help them!
Insightful. Accurate. Worth a read by even the detractors........2007-05-04
Never finding solace within the so-called "gay community", never mind that if you're not a certain way (aka 'the stereotype'), you'll be laughed and harrassed by as many within the "community" as those who'll maim gay people (which is also a sin - violence against another is always violence), I bought this book. And read it.
I used to be homosexual. I used to be very much gay-rights, pro "civil unions", and so on. But noting how so few in the gay community seemed to care about these things, that was the first sign. Having visited 9 annual festivals/parades since "coming out", I've seen a lot of changes. None of them very good and would only incite the ire of people far less "diplomatic" than I.
It is worth the read. For anybody, including counselors and psychiatrists and especially gay men, longing for loving relationships rather than sleazy and dangerous liasions with other men who certainly won't care about anybody except themselves.
While I never thought myself inadequate as a male, the remaining reasons that incite people to homosexuality are told with gravitas and veracity. You cannot find solace in an area filled with other people also lacking solace. Especially if you have to do certain, uncomfortable things in order to "feel accepted" or even "normal" when you know it isn't and you know they won't change regardless what you do to attain their favor. It's ersatz.
Even Roseanne recently made a statement, which only reflects the narcissistic behaviors in the gay community. And she didn't need to apologize for them because she was correct. Keep in mind, she helped promote GLBT people as equals during the 1990s (at least until the final year of her TV show when they were turned into stereotypes as well.)
Maybe I never found the right man. But I was laughed at by plenty of them over the last decade because I had goals and ideals. They just wanted to get off or mock anybody who didn't "think" just like they did. Or claimed to. And, the ultimate irony, it was the gay "community" that had me seeking other options. What they call living is deplorable, and if they are represented by the parades and festivals featuring X-rated materials and acts, then there's a lot of warped folks out there who can't realize they are only adding fuel to the political fire. (A certain singer, a few months back, described "gay culture" quite adequately and that was the wake-up call for me.) But the time for cynicism is over. It's time to move on. I want to thank Jeff for an eye-opening, legitimate book. I wish I had read it sooner.
One final thought: Love is about the soul. Not the body. Homosexuals tell us it's love of the body; that much is incontrovertibly clear. And what they do in the name of demanding equality is not love.
Awesome book!.......2007-02-24
This book gave me hope when I'd been told for years to just accept myself as gay. It angers me that my counselor had never heard about his information. I had to find it myself.
For the person who does not want to stay gay or is tired of living the gay lifestyle.......2007-01-05
This book is a great resource. It is written, not for the person who is happy being gay, but for the person that is looking for a way out. The research is excellent, and the author himself walked away from the gay lifestyle so he speaks with authority. I too have walked away from being gay and I highly recommend this book for someone just starting to research the facts and is looking for hope.
Book Description
He feels a strong attraction to her. She wonders if he could be "the one." In the glamorous haze of early romantic attraction it's hard to know whether a relationship will lead to true love-or to a negative or even catastrophic relationship. This book helps men and women who want healthy and satisfying marriages identify the early warning signs of an unhealthy relationship. Dr. Warren shows readers how to hold out for God's best for their lives instead of settling for the first one to come along and outlines the factors that increase the chances for marital success. For those who want to become wiser in their relationship choices, this practical guide will help them find the love they want and avoid the pain they don't need.
Revised edition of How to Know If Someone Is Worth Pursuing in Two Dates or Less.
Customer Reviews:
If only life was so black and white........2007-09-11
The whole premise of the book is that everyone has the same definition of honesty, financial stability, spirituality ect. If you acknowledge different people have different interpratations of these things the book falls fat on its face.
MEN RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!.......2007-07-25
This positive reviews are by women who think the perfect relationship is some romance movie like Gone with the Wind! The book and the eharmony website are a waste of time and money!! You will be the most miserable of any man on the planet if you read this book and do what it tells you, I did and after several years of misery I am done with hit. Neil Clark Warred should be sued for malpractice, he is just another person willing to tell desperate people anything they want to hear to get their money even if it is not true and will end in failure!
A Book for Every Single Person.......2007-07-21
An indispensable book for any single person, whether they use it in conjunction with eHarmony.com or not. Where were you, Dr. Warren, when I was young and needed advice? I'm still married to the same man I met 46 years ago so I guess I did something right. Still the book would have been so much help.
Exceptional .......2006-11-20
Absolutely recommend it!
This book is an amazing tool to understanding yourself and the dynamics of dating. It assists you through self-discovery and how to articulate the type the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. I think every single person should read this book before making any long-term commitments! Also, if you are already in a relationship and have doubts - it can also help you identify the source of your frustrations and how to end the dating relationship before heading to marriage.
As for e-harmony - many people that say they had a bad experience is due to putting up false & unrealistic expectations for the service. Like any on-line service- you need to check & research everyone you attempt to pursing communication. E-harmony doesn't do security, investigative or credit checks so don't expect that everyone you meet will be honesty & clean. (If you read Dr. Warren message - he explains this very thorougly)Another thing to keep in mind, is that the service doesn't promise that you will meet your dream partner and happily get married. It is just a tool to help you meet additional people ideally closer to your personality that you wouldn't normally meet on a regular basis. You still have to do the work in identifying whether this person is truly the best match for you.
Be smart, wise and don't put yourself in compromising or dangerous situations.
This book will definitely help you put dating in the RIGHT PERSPECTIVE!
The title of the book should be How to Use eHarmony.......2006-10-05
I found reading this book to be a waste of time. It's a very light book and can be read cover to cover in an hour or two. The whole book reads like an ad for eHarmony. Everything in this book is geared toward how to fill out your profile on eHarmony. Just like most online dating sites, this book makes date/mate selection sound like your shopping for a new car. It makes it sound like all that is needed to find your soul mate is to figure out what you like and don't like in a partner, enter it into the computer, and poof, your soul mate will magically appear exactly to your specifications.
Books:
- Jane Austen: The Complete Novels
- Jimi Hendrix Turns Eighty
- Kinfolks: Falling Off the Family Tree - The Search for My Melungeon Ancestors
- Leadership and Self Deception: Getting Out of the Box
- Love, Life, Goethe: Lessons of the Imagination from the Great German Poet
- Low Level Hell: A Scout Pilot in the Big Red One
- Michelangelo : The Complete Sculpture, Painting, Architecture
- Mount Dragon: A Novel
- Music of a Life: A Novel
- My Gender Workbook: How to Become a Real Man, a Real Woman, the Real You, or Something Else Entirely
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