Average customer rating:
- Don't be a parent who doesn't get it...
- Helpful conversation starter
- Using this book with 11th graders....
- Odd Girl Speaks Out: Girls Write about Bullies, Cliques,
- A teen's perspective on an almost four star book
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Odd Girl Speaks Out: Girls Write about Bullies, Cliques, Popularity, and Jealousy
Rachel Simmons
Manufacturer: Harvest Books
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Binding: Paperback
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Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls
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Girl Wars: 12 Strategies That Will End Female Bullying
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Mean Chicks, Cliques, and Dirty Tricks: A Real Girl's Guide to Getting Through the Day with Smarts and Style
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GirlWise: How to Be Confident, Capable, Cool, and in Control
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The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander: From Preschool to High School--How Parents and Teachers Can Help Break the Cycle of Violence
ASIN: 0156028158 |
Book Description
The national bestseller Odd Girl Out exposed a hidden culture of cruelty that had always been quietly endured by American girls. As Rachel Simmons toured the country, these girls found their voices and spoke to her about their pain. They wanted to talk-and they weren't the only ones. Mothers, teachers, counselors, young professional women, even fathers, came to Rachel with heart-wrenching personal stories that could no longer be kept secret.
Here, Rachel creates a safe place for girls to talk, rant, sound off, and find each other. The result is a collection of wonderful accounts of the inner lives of adolescent girls. Candid and disarming, creative and expressive, and always exceptionally self-aware, these poems, songs, confessions, and essays form a journal of American girlhood. They show us how deeply cruelty flows and how strongly these girls want to change.
Odd Girl Out helped girls find their voices; Odd Girl Speaks Out helps them tell their stories.
I'm always the odd girl out
No one talks to me
I try to be friendly and speak out
But I'm invisible, see?
You know, gossip is a natural thing in high school. I'm one of those girls that will
do it right in front of you. I'll whisper at my friends and look at you the whole time.
Then we'll all cut up laughing. You know we're talking about you.
My best friend and I started being friends with this other girl. But she was fat. It was hard because she always wanted to go down the slide second and she would crush us. We didn't want to tell her she was fat, so we decided to drop her. Her mother called my mother and
told her we were being mean. But we just couldn't be friends with her anymore.
-from Odd Girl Speaks Out
Customer Reviews:
Don't be a parent who doesn't get it..........2007-07-10
It is inevitable that our daughters will experience some sort of emotional bullying. Prepare yourself and the ones you love by reading this book and understanding the dynamic.
This book helped me to see how my natural reactions
"Well Ill just speak to her parents" WRONG
"Honey Just talk with her and it will work out" WRONG
"She is such a rotten kid! How can she do that?" WRONG
WRONG WRONG WRONG
Sigh.
It hasn't changed since we were young- its only better enabled by technology. In any case- information is the best weapon. Read this with your daughter before it happens- you may be able to avoid heartache.
Helpful conversation starter.......2007-05-21
This book was recomended by my 6th grader's school counselor after she started making some questionable friend choices. We moved to a new area about a year ago and my two middle school daughters went from a very conservative charter school to a tight knit small town public school. My youger (6th grader) daughter has had a more difficult time adjusting and this helped a lot. My older daughter has always been the over-achiever, and expects the same of her sister. This book hleped a lot even within their relationship as I would consider my older child a "queen bee". This book helped my daughter open up to me more because it was easier for her to start a converstaion about something she read in the book, that happened to someone else, and it would lead us into things she is or has been going through. I read Queen Bees and Wannabes while she was reading this and it seemed to work out well, gave us a common thread and set the stage for planned conversations, something difficult to do well with girls this age.
Using this book with 11th graders...........2007-04-13
www.rachelsimmons.com
First off, I wanted to hook you up with the author's official site.
I think that this book is a MUST READ for any 8-12th grader in America! This coupled with the first book, Odd Girl Out coincide with the angst of being a young woman in this day and age. Thank God I don't have to be a teenager now!
I have used this text in my book club and it sparks great discussions and is a stepping stone to creating your own student anthology. It works well with tons of films and books, like Mean Girls, 13, or Speak. I can't even think of all the LIFETIME movies that coincide with this book as well.
Odd Girl Speaks Out: Girls Write about Bullies, Cliques, .......2007-04-01
This is a GREAT book. My daughter who is 14 could really relate to it. As a mom it really gave me an insight to what she has to deal with at school.
A teen's perspective on an almost four star book.......2005-06-18
"Odd Girl Speaks Out" is a book of short stories by teen and preteen girls about their experiences with relationships between other girls. Opening the beginning of each section is commentary by the editor relating to what the section will be about.
What's Good-
1) Certain authors make powerful statements of self realization at the end of their stories. Ex-In "Who My Friends Really Were", the author states, "No longer do I judge or label...And most importantly I want everyone to know that no matter how bad things seem, they do get better...I got better." In "I Was the One Word that Everyone Fears: Alone", the author says, "Through my experiences I became a stronger person. I learned so much about myself and about others."
2) Some authors prefer to express themselves in poetry. Their poetry tells a story just like those who write in article format but is more direct. Those who like to read stories in article format but also enjoy poetry might find this refreshing (like I did).
3) The editor offers commentary about each of the sections of the book and some of it is helpful. Ex-In a snippet about talking to a friend about a problem, she offers three tips definitely worth using: Listen, Stay with the issue, and if need be, Apologize. In a snippet about losing trust in relationships with girls, she says not to give up on girls forever.
4) Certain stories can be inspiration for performing. Ex-"Just to Make You Happy" is written in monologue form and with a few changes is perfect for a drama performance.
What's Not So Good-
1) The story entitled "Friend Trouble". It feels like the whole story is the author complaining about her two friends for various reasons without offering any substance. Also, instead of making up names for her two friends she refers to them as "my skinny friend" and "my fat friend" and herself as "average fat". This is one story I don't recommend reading at all.
2) The editor mentions that for some girls who are constantly picked on, moving can not only be a fresh start but they can also become more popular. What she doesn't stress enough is that if those constantly picked on girls are carrying around heavy grudges, they still might have problems.
3) Sometimes the editor puts too much of herself into her commentary. She mentions a few experiences she had with her own friendships and at one point when she was talking about parents she wrote down what they said and "responded" back. In a book where girls are supposed to speak for themselves, it would be a good idea if she backed off and offered the advice with no emotional attachment.
Final Recommendations-
All in all this is a decent book with decent stories, but I recommend scanning through it first before buying.
Book Description
With a whirling dervish of a teacher and a sprinkle of magic fairy dust, the English Roses learn valuable lessons about friendship and surviving their first crush. Readers of all ages will delight in this much-awaited sequel to Madonna's first children's book, The English Roses.
Customer Reviews:
Perfect Assumption ..........2007-08-16
New Kid in Town (... I think his name was Donovan ...) he lives near the airport (... La Guardia ... get it?) - is turning all the girls heads - Never in the history of the planet... (... on all 6 (7?) continents ...) has so much angst been shared amongst a bunch of 5th (6th?) grade girls - until M(r)s. Fluffer-nutter comes up with a devious plan - (... some have called it religion ...) - this is the tale of three (4?) brothers - the elder (8th grader?) has a wand..., ...the second (7th grader?) a stone, ... the third (6th grader?) - virtually invisible -- will he-who-has-no-nose beat it? -- ... it's a thriller ...
not too good to be true.......2007-05-10
Out of all the children's books Madonna has written, this was my LEAST favorite. However - just like the rest of her books the illustrations are beautiful and the story teaches a lesson.
Despicable, uninspired propaganda.......2007-03-19
Well, I finally purchased something at amazon, and now I too can write a review. I note the warning to "focus your comments on the product." Which is, I admit, a fair request, but with this series of books (this one being the newest), the review must include things other than the product itself.
These books are vanity projects. No publisher which respects the special significance of a children's book should allow this monster, Madonna, anywhere near such things. The reviews for the other books in this series tend to be comprised of two camps: Madonna's feckless fans, ecstatic over the release of any new "product," and the small percentage of the population which encounters the books by accident, with the latter category almost unanimous in their condemnation of these "works."
Madonna is a person who happened to be in the right place at the right time, and had enough sense to decide to exploit herself to make a dollar over the last twenty years. And, because she was a willing participant, that makes her a genius to some of you. Not to me.
Outside of her catchy pop songs, which even I enjoy for the fluff they are, Madonna has made the bones of her career out of a ceaseless parade of cheap stunts, almost always involving sex. Her body of work which has made her a celebrity has almost nothing to do with music, and everything to do with reckless and clumsy titillation. The last three times Madonna caught our attention, she was pouring hot candle wax on a man's genitals in the terrible film Body of Evidence, hanging naked from chains in an S&M club in her Sex book, and hanging from a mirrored disco cross while wearing a crown of thorns to open her most recent tour.
The reason why she is producing these books is not to improve the quality of children's material, nor is it to raise money for charity, as she is already so wealthy it matters not if she receives so much as one penny from these sales. If she wants to donate to charity, she can always sell one of her castles.
The reason she is doing this is to shovel her sick, twisted view of life straight down the throats of the most impressionable members of society. The books exist to introduce children to her name, so that they may remember her, and then go on to discover her life's work, which is nothing but greed, self-exploitation, and depravity.
The books themselves provide Madonna with the thrill of being famous and talked about, which is worth more to her than money, as she already has plenty of money. The books are not good. It is well understood that if a non-celebrity were to submit these projects, they would be rejected. However, due to her name, they will sell. Madonna then takes that as some kind of indication that her work has triumphed, as you can tell, as the self-serving introduction to this newest book indicates.
I could go on, at length, but briefly: Madonna moralizes, but she had her daughter, Lourdes, sired from a brief encounter with a man she admits she no longer has anything to do with. She points the finger over money, but is herself a supremely wealthy person who lives a lavish, materialistic lifestyle. She preaches humility, yet contrary to the tradition of children's books, she denies credit on the books' covers to the artists who illustrate them.
You could not ask for a more repulsive and hypocritical role model. She is a [...] actress who sings, and is the last among us who should be writing children's books. If you have not gone mad, I would suggest that you purchase any one of the many, many wonderful children's books available, or take the time to play with your child and write one together just for fun.
Do not, under any circumstances, buy these books, unless it is for a gag gift, and only then, do so only if you can be guaranteed it will be burned to ashes in less than an hour after the joke is over, lest the damn things find their way into a library or a school.
To reiterate: These books are vanity projects and garbage, meant to indoctrinate children into Madonna's wretched life philosophy. Avoid every one of them, and when you get the chance, do us all a favour, and destroy them.
Awful.......2007-02-27
Anyone remember when she deep throated that bottle in her documentary? Yeah, I remember thinking, "Someday I hope to buy a childrens' book from her." And yeah, the book is as uninspiring as her others.
yogagirl5117.......2007-02-13
Either I am having a "that time of the month moment" or I am just an emotional person but this video did make me cry. We saw a different side of Madonna. I saw from her true sincerity since no one in Malawi knows MADONNA: POP ICON/QUEEN OF THE UNIVERSE. Once you travel to a third world nation either in Africa, Asia (as I have) the word "culture shock" does not prepare you. It's the commitment you make while you are there and the therapy you NEED to seek when you return to a developed nation in Europe, North America or South America. I have a new respect for Madonna. I hope this documentary though when it comes out is NOT all about her mission but the plight of the Malawians!
Book Description
What causes jealousy? Who is more prone to jealousy--women or men? Why does jealousy sometimes lead to violence? How can you tell if you are a jealous person?
Dr. Pines draws on case studies from her clinical practice, jealousy workshops, and fascinating research with more than 100 individuals and couples--including interviews with people who have committed crimes of passion. Exploring the many facets of this complex emotion, Dr. Pines discusses five psychological approaches to jealousy--covering such issues as whether jealousy is the result of unresolved childhood trauma, the dynamics within a specific relationship, or the consequence of our evolutionary nature.
Romantic Jealousy offers real-life stories, simple quizzes, and an in-depth jealousy questionnaire aimed at helping readers assess their predisposition to jealousy and providing strategies to control their jealous urges. The advice offered can be applied to gay and straight couples, to those who suffer from a jealousy problem or know of a loved one who does, and for psychologists and counselors to use with their clients as a tool in therapy.
Romantic Jealousy provides us with a compelling account of the psychology of jealousy. Dr. Pines journeys into the deep recesses of the human mind and heart, exposing the dynamics of jealousy--its causes, symptoms, and danger signs--and the most effective strategies available for keeping jealousy under control.
Customer Reviews:
Too Technical and Wordy.......2007-01-10
This book is probably very appropriate for those people who want in-depth analysis. I prefer self-help books written in a conversational style.
And eye-opening and extremely helpful book.......2004-06-24
I am an extremely jealous (delusionally/abnormally jealous) person, and it is something I really wanted to change about myself. I believe that psychological, cultural, psychoanalytic, and situational factors all contribute to one's jealousy or lack thereof, and the prospect of ridding myself of it seemed both desirable and daunting. But reading this book has given me the confidence that I can, if not completely overcome my jealousy, at least channel my feelings correctly, understand the roots of the jealousy, and react with a more appropriate response.
This book has done an excellent job of both getting out on paper some of the thoughts I've been trying to convey both to myself and to my boyfriend, as well as providing me with some new ways to understand my jealous feelings and tactics for conquering them.
Some reviewers have said that the book offers no "cure" for jealousy. Of course it doesn't--I don't think any book on jealousy, or any other issue, for that matter, has the power to cure. Rather, it has to come from within, with the book to guide you.
I am certainly not "cured" of my jealousy--changes like that don't happen overnight from reading one book. But this book has given me the much-needed jumpstart to begin conquering it.
Offers Help for Just About Any Jealousy.......2001-07-21
Jealousy is probably one of the most-asked-about situations on my website. Either guys are jealous of their girlfriends going and talking to other guys, or girls are jealous about the attention their guys get when they're out, or girls are trying to make their guys jealous so they start getting paid attention to ... the list goes on and on.
What makes jealousy so powerful? How can it be such a destructive force in a relationship, when many times it's not even based on any 'real situation'?
This book is a HUGE help when looking at jealousy. Whether you tend to be a bit too jealous yourself, or whether you're dealing with a partner who tends to be overjealous of you, the book gives real life examples of situations, and practical advice on how to deal with them.
Just about every relationship has run into jealousy problems at one point or another. They CAN be worked through. I highly suggest this book as a great way to help improve your own relationship.
Not useful to me.......2001-05-17
This book seemed to be aimed more at other therapists than at average people. The language, though readable, was full of clinical terms that made the content seem less relavent to me. It gave numerous examples of how different people react to different situations, but never really specifies how to solve "abnormal jealousy". The book's sub-title says "Causes, Symptoms, Cures", but I found no cures for my situation. There was only stuff on how to deal with normal jealousy that is caused by situations that are likely to arouse that emotion in most people (like one person cheating on another).
Yes jealousy is normal, I know that, it's a part of caring for someone. But how do you deal with someone who is very possessive? Who sees intimate relationships with others when there is none? This book doesn't deal with any of that. It's chock full of information about jealousy in general, but this book was of no use to me whatsoever.
Fascinating.......2000-08-11
I came to this book after reading "Falling in Love," Pines' newest book. I LOVED "Falling in Love" (no pun intended!) so I decided to try this book out. Once again, I was totally shaken and amazed to discover how things she was writing about related to me and my life - they were things that made intuitive sense the minute I read them, but never occured to me before. Reading Pines' books is like one big "Eureka!!" experience. Highly recommended!!
Book Description
From bestselling author Madonna comes two stories about the English Roses, five best friends who do everything together. With the help of a little magic fairy dust and a quirky, lovable teacher, the English Roses learn that the bond of female friendship is unbreakable!
Each of these luxuriously boxed and limited editions are numbered and are available exclusively on Amazon.com. Each includes:
- A letter from Madonna, personally autographed
- A giclée digital print on fine-milled paper, signed by Stacy Peterson, the illustrator of The English Roses: Too Good To Be True
- First edition hardcovers of The English Roses and The English Roses: Too Good To Be True
Customer Reviews:
Madonna's lousy signature.......2007-09-28
I've been a Madonna fan for over 20 years and I was never so diappointed in the signature than was included in this book. Give me a break. Thank goodness I waited until they were $30. My husband bought me a copy at the original price last Christmas and when I found out the signatures were awful, I was so disappointed.
It seems Madonna's perfectionism is starting to crumble, or she just didn't give a flying fudge about it--that's what it looks like to me anyway. So disappointing in the signature and in Madonna!
Madonna: YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN SOME SCRAWLING SIGNATURE!
I doubt these last five in stock will sell at the original price. It's really not worth it, unless you are a die-hard Madonna fan and have to have it.
Worth it.......2007-09-04
This is very well put together. The package is very nice but, of course, the most interesting part of it is the "signed" letter from Madonna. This might be the only way for any fan to get a real Madonna's signature. Yes the signature is rushed and the author could and should have paid more attention to it, simply out of respect for her fans. I paid 30 $ for it and it is really worth it's price...it's not worth 150 dollars though.
nice package.......2007-08-31
I already had both books but this box with Madonna's personal letter and autograph and the litho for only 30US$ instead of 150 US$ was just to good to let go.
nice collectors item
The English Roses.......2007-08-26
the bok was well packaged, the autograph of Madonna sucked, it was a mess no wonder she could not sell that book for $150.00. Amazon did a great job getting rid of them.
It is what it is!!.......2007-08-04
Just as previous reviewers stated, it's a Madonna autograph. Not a great autograph but at $30.00 it's worth it.
Book Description
How do we reconcile our need to express our emotions with our desire to protect others? Far too often we find ourselves trapped in this dilemma of expression versus repression. We fear that by expressing our true feelings, we will hurt and alienate those close to us. But by repressing our emotions—even in the benevolent guise of “self-control”—we only risk hurting ourselves.
Osho, one of the most provocative and inspiring spiritual teachers of our time, provides here a practical and comprehensive approach to dealing with this conflict effectively. Incorporating new, never-before-published material, Emotional Wellness leads us to understand the roots of our emotions, to react to situations in a way that can teach us more about ourselves and others, and to respond to life’s inevitable ups and downs with far greater confidence and equilibrium.
Discover:
• The impact that fear, anger, and jealousy have on our lives
• How emotions like guilt, insecurity, and fear are used to manipulate us
• How to break out of unhealthy responses to strong emotions
• How to transform destructive emotions into creative energy
• The role of society and culture on our individual emotional styles
Osho’s unique insight into the human mind and heart goes far beyond conventional psychology. He teaches us to experience our emotions fully and to deal with them creatively in order to achieve a richer, fuller life.
Customer Reviews:
very good.......2007-08-07
I love Osho's emphasis here on the fallacy of supression and moralizing. At times I feel he just rambles, but there are some real pearls of wisdom coming out of him. There is some bathwater, I feel, but certainly a beautiful baby too.
eye opening.......2007-07-16
I really never expected to purchase a book like this. I am very glad I did. I got the essence of the year out of the first few pages: the heart does the loving, not the mind... the mind doubts, the heart does cannot.
Beautiful.
another osho not to miss!.......2007-07-13
I have personally enjoyed reading this book! After reading more than a dozen of osho books, you realise how the same ideas and the same stories pop up in the different pages and different book. This book has a different twist as osho doesn't just focus on one concept...but on different concepts or difficult conditions one passes by in life.
Its an excellent book...once again osho making a miracle by "decomplexing" or "decomposing" all the complexities in life in this book!
Entertaining journey on the lighter side of Buddhism.......2007-06-19
I actually enjoyed this book quite a bit. Osho's approach to Buddhism is truly something else. It's so down-to-earth. Sometimes, while I was reading the book he seemed not to make any sense, then immediately on the opposite page he imparts such deep insights that it gave me the goose bumps. Osho doesn't seem to be afraid to speak whatever is on his mind and is not afraid to hurt your feelings or beliefs. Which makes this book a very straight, in your face, nonetheless entertaining read.
I would not recommend to rely on this book as a foremost spiritual guide, but there are certainly many ways to look at Buddhism, and this is one of them. Entertaining, sometimes funny, sometimes deep, sometimes confusing. Truly a mirror to life. Worth a read either way.
Didn't connect with it..........2007-06-18
I picked up this book and plan to return it today. I'm not saying its a bad book, I just did not make a strong enough connection with it to hold onto it. Osho says some insightful things, but some of them I have already experienced myself. I did not like his approach, he uses some sarcasm here and there and is constantly telling you what you "SHOULD" be doing. Many spiritual books I find are packed with contradictions and hipocracy, but not so much this one. Maybe I'm just not ready for this book yet? I'll revisit it down the road, but for now it's back on the shelf. I would recommend the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle instead. Thanks for viewing!
Average customer rating:
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Jealousy: Experiences and Solutions
Hildegard Baumgart
Manufacturer: University Of Chicago Press
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Romantic Jealousy: Causes, Symptoms, Cures
ASIN: 0226039358 |
Book Description
Deeply ingrained in human nature, jealousy occurs in everyone's life, with varying intensity and significance. Profoundly puzzling, jealousy provokes humans to irrational, sometimes violent acts against others or against themselves. It is a passion that has fascinated writers, storytellers, and audiences through the ages.
Hildegard Baumgart, a practicing marriage counselor, pursues a multilayered exploration of jealousy that is at once public history, based on literary and cultural records, and private history, drawn from individual clinical cases and psychoanalytic practice. In the process she discovers provocative new answers to two central questions: How can one understand jealousy, whether one's own or another's?
Baumgart focuses on the fear of comparison with the rival that motivates much jealousy, and she shows how this idea is, in fact, built into both mythology and theology. She adroitly combines a rich array of documentation and evidence: detailed, clinical descriptions of the classic dilemmas of love triangles; a history of the concept of jealousy in the Judeo-Christian tradition; examples from the lives and writings of a fascinating gallery of authors (Shakespeare, Tolstoy, and Goethe, among others); discussions of Freud's writings on jealousy and of later psychoanalytic methodologies such as systems analysis, paradoxical intervention, and communications theory.
Throughout her narrative, Baumgart writes with compassion and feeling. Drawing on her personal experience of jealousy, her own psychoanalysis, and anecdotes from her counseling work and the clinical literature at large, she presents many fascinating vignettes of the painful—sometimes crippling—effects of jealousy as seen from the standpoints of both sufferer and therapist. What is more, she offers sensitive and sensible solutions to the problem of jealousy.
Baumgart's intriguing tapestry of the varied manifestations and interpretations of jealousy gives extraordinary resonance to the case histories she describes. In providing such a panoramic view, Jealousy invites everyone—analysts, counselors, sociologists, jealous lovers, and avid readers of advice columns—to reconsider both the cultural significance and personal meaning of this universal emotion.
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- Spark Notes No Fear Shakespeare Othello
- Outstanding, Absolutely Outstanding
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Spark Notes No Fear Shakespeare Othello (SparkNotes No Fear Shakespeare)
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ASIN: 1586638521 |
Customer Reviews:
Spark Notes No Fear Shakespeare Othello.......2007-05-28
As my first introduction to Shakespeare working in a senior high school collaborative English class, this book helped me enormously with its Modern Day English interpretation on one side of the book and the Shakespearean writing on the other which follows the regular novels. This proved to be a lifesaver!
Outstanding, Absolutely Outstanding.......2006-01-31
The Play, the Book, the Format---all outstanding, absolutely outstanding...With the original text on the left page and a modern easy to read and understand text on the right, Shakespeare reads like a Vince Flynn novel--well, almost. It really opens up the story, the ideas, the characters and the struggles. (Iago is still reprehensible! In any time, in any format!!) And in Act 5, "Othello" turns into a page turner, like a modern day novel. Who would have ever thought it!!! Good way of doing it, well done. The Bard is alive and well...And we are all the better for it.
Book Description
Here, in one volume, are two remarkable novels by the chief spokesman of the so-called “new novel” which has caused such discussion and aroused such controversy. “Jealousy,” said the New York Times Book Review “is a technical masterpiece, impeccably contrived.” “It is an exhilarating challenge,” said the San Francisco Chronicle.
Customer Reviews:
Almost too original...but no! Just perfect........2005-10-04
This book contains two great books by a great author unafraid to do something completely different--a guy who could write a (good) characterless short story about an escalator, or a murder mystery that never uses the letter E, or...or..."Jealousy." Of the two novels contained in this book, "Jealousy" is by far the best.
When I first read "Jealousy," I had never read anything else like it--because there is nothing else like it.
For starters, the book is written in first person, yet it never uses the words I, me, my, mine, we, our, or us, or any other first person posessives. When it's time for dinner, instead of saying, "And now we sit down to eat," the author says something like "And now it is time for dinner," and he describes there being three plates, and mentions two other people eating.
Also, the book is incredibly precise in its details. It names every tree in a bananna forest, spends pages describing a woman brushing her hair, and meticulously records where every shadow in every corner of every room falls, to the point that if he hasn't yet described a part of a room, you wonder, "Well, what's in THAT corner?"
As a result of this unique perspective, and of the author's close attention to detail, the reader forgets the story is in first person at all, and grows to trust the book as an exact, almost scientific account of everything going on.
But, what's going on isn't science--it's an affair. It's the narrator's wife having an affair with a neighbor, in a hot, foreign, plantation-style setting. As the narrator gets more suspicious and prejudiced, so does the reader. As the narrator gets more distrustful and angry, so do you.
This book is brilliant--it's French experimentalism at its best. It explores themes of love and identity and jealousy and reality (despite its author claiming he wants the reader not to find any intended symbolism in it, but only to observe it as one would real life). It's antilinear and unconventional, and explores several dark motifs, such as a squashed centipede on a wall that seems more and more violent with every mention, and with every moment passed in the narrator's growing rage and paranoia.
The second book in this collection is "In the Labyrinth," and it's good as well, though not as instantly gripping or startlingly original. It tells the story of a wounded soldier wandering through the maze of a wartime city's streets, anxious to deliver an important package. It's not as wonderful or as haunting as "Jealousy" is, but it's a good novel nonetheless, and it'll stay with you.
At times both of these books are hard to read, but they're always worth it, and they're always genius. Especially "Jealousy." Buy it, but it, buy it, buy it. Your mind will never be the same again.
Jealousy.......2005-09-22
"Jealousy" was one of Nabokov's favourite novels. It doesn't matter whether you like Nabokov as a writer or not. Anyone who reads his lectures on European Literature has to admit that he is more than qualified for talking about the quality of a book. He is extremely picky. He dislikes some major writers (Dostoievsky and Cervantes are just two examples), but the ones he does like are always, and I mean always, classics, or will-be classics. Robbe-Grillet's books demand patience. Things move slow, but there's a reason for that. Unlike most novels, you won't be able to understand completely what's going on in "Jealousy" until you have read the last page. But that's the whole point of this novel, and making the trip in darkness is a worthy experience in this case. In the meantime, the book is filled with passages of great concrete poetry. For example: the characters have finished having dinner some time ago, they are outside a house in a plantation in Africa, outside the circle of light in which they are everything is dark. Franck and A... (a woman) are obviously atracted to each other, but both of them are married:
"I think I'll be getting along," Franck says.
"Oh, don't go," A... replies at once, "it's not late at all. It's so pleasant sitting out here."
If Franck wanted to leave, he would have a good excuse: his wife and child who are alone in the house. But he mentions only the hour he must get up the next morning, without making any reference to Christiane. The same shrill, short cry, which sounds closer, now seems to come from the garden, quite near the foot of the veranda on the east side.
As if echoing it, a similar cry follows, coming from the opposite direction. Others answer these, from higher up, toward the road; then still others, from the low ground.
Sometimes the sound is a little lower, or more prolongued. There are probably different kinds of animals. Still, all these cries are alike; not that their common characteristic is easy to decide, but rather their common lack of characteristics: they do not seem to be cries of fright, or pain, or intimidation, or even love. They sound like mechanical cries, uttered without perceptible motive, expressing nothing, indicating only the existence, the position, and the respective movements of each animal, whose trajectory through the night they punctuate.
"All the same," Franck says, "I think I'll be getting along."
[NOTE: It's the rhythm of his writing what makes Robbe-Grillet a very unique writer. So bear in mind that the effect of this fragment is much more powerful when you read it in context. Robbe-Grillet never rushes over things, he makes you feel the weight of the physical world in a way few writers do -Joyce's Ulysses and Lucretius' The Way Things Are, come to mind].
By Robbe-Grillet, I'd recomend "Jealousy", "The Voyeur" and "Repetition". "The Rubbers" is one of his most often talked about novels, but mainly because it was his first, and the one that introduced his style. But after reading these others you realize it was still only incubating.
Jealousy.......2004-05-25
Alain Robbe-Grillet, Jealousy (Grove, 1955)
Alain Robbe-Grillet's first two novels, The Erasers and Voyeur, were the best thing to happen to French literature since Apollinaire. Then came Jealousy. It would seem that a suspected love affair between a man's wife and their neighbor would be the perfect subject for an author who obsessively details scenes, going back over them to change small details and keep the reader off his feet, wouldn't it?
Sadly, in practice, it didn't work that way at all. We are given a nameless narrator, his wife A..., and the neighbor, Franck, and the unnamed narrator's obsessive going over of a few particular incidents (the implication is that one of them is presently happening, while the others are things he's going over in his head). There are also a lot of extraneous details about banana trees that were ridiculed in the French press upon the book's first publication.
What made The Erasers and Voyeur different from Jealousy is that they had plots, if odd, meandering ones that didn't really go anywhere. Jealousy is a hundred forty-page set piece, in which nothing happens and to which there is no resolution. Readers of Robbe-Grillet's previous works will not be surprised at the latter, but the former might come as something of a shock. As a short story, or perhaps a novella, Jealousy could have been a chilling, creepily effective little piece on the mind degenerating over obsession; as it stands, it's rather, well, boring. **
Interesting Experimental Fiction.......2000-04-17
These two novels (the author's third and fourth, respectively) make for a pretty good introduction to the strange world of Alain Robbe-Grillet. I tend to think of his books as post-modern detective stories, in which the mystery to be solved is nothing less than existence itself; that the reader often finds himself in the dark is very much to the point. They should be interesting to anyone looking for an off-the-beaten-path read.
"Jealousy" (the better of the two) deals with a love triangle in a remote African plantation... which may or may not be all in the narrator's mind. It's creepy and enigmatic. "In the Labyrinth" is a vaguely Kafkaesque tale about a soldier attempting to deliver a mysterious package in a vast, unnamed city. Admittedly, Robbe-Grillet is not the most approachable of authors, but these densely composed novels amply pay off the attention required to read them.
Average customer rating:
- The English Roses
- Good for your pre-teen
- A tale told 1001 times before
- I was surprisingly impressed!
- The illustrations was better than the writing....
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The English Roses
Madonna
Manufacturer: Callaway
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ASIN: 0670036781
Release Date: 2003-09-15 |
Amazon.com
Madonna hangs up her material-girl cloak to teach children the importance of looking beyond a surface sheen. In The English Roses, the superstar's children's book debut, four little girls (the roses in question) "play the same games, read the same books, and like the same boys." Nicole, Amy, Charlotte, and Grace all love to dance the monkey and the tickety-boo
and they all are horribly jealous of Binah, the perfect, beautiful, smart, kind girl who lives nearby. Even though they know Binah is lonely, she makes them sick. They would say, "Let's pretend we don't see her when she walks by." And even, "Let's push her into the lake!" The pleasantly bossy narrator explains, "And that is what they did. No, silly, not the lake part, the pretending not to see her part." One night, however, the four girls all have the same dream that sets them straight. A fairy godmother sprinkles them with fairy dust and takes them to spy on Binah. When they see that she lives alone with her father, slaving away night and day at household chores, the four girly grumblers feel very sorry for her. The fairy scolds them, "
in the future, you might think twice before grumbling that someone else has a better life than you." And they do. This morality tale is nothing new under the sun, but it is cleverly told, with many teaspoonfuls of good humor. Jeffrey Fulvimari's illustrations are no less than stunning--filling every page with vivacious black ink lines and gorgeous watercolor reminiscent of 1960s fashion sketches. Children will enjoy this "don't hate me because I'm beautiful" story that celebrates friendship as much as it teaches compassion. (Ages 6 and older) --Karin Snelson
Book Description
The English Roses is a story of rivalry and friendship among schoolgirls in contemporary London. Four little girls-Nicole, Amy, Charlotte, and Grace-are eleven years old and the very best of friends. They have sleepovers, picnics and ice-skating parties that exclude Binah, a beautiful girl whose seemingly perfect life makes them "green with envy." However, when a feisty, pumpernickel-loving fairy godmother takes them on a magical journey, they learn to their great surprise that Binah's life is not nearly as enviable as it had seemed. The English Roses is an inspiring story about the importance of compassion and the rewards of friendship.
Customer Reviews:
The English Roses.......2007-01-02
OK, for those that don't like Madonna---step aside and give this book the objective review it deserves... This book was a gift for my daughter of 7 years. I loved many things about this book. The story is simplistic which for a target age of 7yo was perfect for my daughter. And yes, Madonna is American, but this is the ENGLISH Roses so yes, football = soccer!! OK, off my soapbox now. The story was fun and if you are really paying attention, you will notice a little mouse following the Roses around throughout the book. The mouse is a great storyteller!! The pictures are absolutely beautiful and each glance at the book brings a detail you didn't notice previously. I found the book to be perfect for any little one who might be experiencing the struggle between doing what's right versus what might be popular.. I thought it sends the right message that people are not always what they first seem. We will read this book over and over again... I hope that she will write more about the Roses than the two she has already written. Well worth the read!!
Good for your pre-teen.......2006-12-23
The first book by Madonna
Is good for your pre-teen
For once something Madonna does
Cannot be ruled obscene
Four little girls who are close friends
Judge another by her looks
But when they walk inside her shoes
They learn she really cooks
For little girls who still enjoy
A modern fairy tale
The plot is very simple
But the sentiment is real
The illustrations are superb
The book is nicely bound
Buy this one for your little girl
There are much worse around.
Amanda Richards, December 23, 2006
A tale told 1001 times before.......2006-12-13
Other than some colorful graphics there isn't much to be had in this insipid tale of poor Binah, who finds herself odd girl out of the English Roses. It seems to be written more with teenagers in mind, but the level of writing is that of 4-8 year olds. I have a copy that was translated into Lithuanian, which pains me to read each time my little girl asks for it. Not so much that my Lithuanian is that bad, but the story itself is so boring and comes to such a trite ending with nothing much along the way to capture my girl's attention. Yet, she likes the pictures. I think Madonna better stick to making music and song and dance videos, because she is clearly out of her realm when it comes to children's stories.
I was surprisingly impressed!.......2006-12-12
First and foremost, I recommend this book for young girls!
I have run hot and cold with Madonna throughout the years. I enjoyed a lot of her music, but didn't agree with some of her actions. In fact, when my daughter was young I didn't allow her to listen Madonna's music, because I felt it was inappropriate. So, it was with curiosity that I picked this book up at the bookstore when I saw it. I anticipated a cursory review, but instead ended up reading the book in its entirety.
I found myself smiling at the fact that Madonna and I were on the same page (no pun intended) and I purchased the book for my daughter. I am happy to say that my mother's long ago advice to "Never judge a book by its cover," came back to me. I can't wait to read the other books Madonna has written. I think she's a very intelligent and loving woman with good values, although they don't always seem to be her driving force.
I noticed that someone was critical of Madonna's writing style being too young, yet professionals are taught to write to a [...]level (for other professionals), so I don't see that as problematic.
The illustrations was better than the writing...........2006-11-27
I have nothing against Madonna and her idea of writing children's book (koodos). But, WOW! Please stick to writing music not a book. Some famous people do successfully write a children's book but in this case, Madonna should have seeked help and advice from a good children's book writer. As an Illustrator who love creative children's books and I hope one day to write one, I thought the Illustration in this book was fantastic! The story was pretty much unrealistic especially this day in age for pre-teens. Maybe if Madonna tries to write another children's book, perhaps she should anonymously pass the rough draft to a few writers to proof read and give a honest critique before she decides to publish a book. Sorry Madonna.- Your true fan.
Average customer rating:
- Good analysis, somewhat redundant, but incisive.
- right on the money
- Justifying male violence? even though he abhors it
- Interesting layperson read - not a good justification
- "Necessary" from the POV of the genes...
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The Dangerous Passion: Why Jealousy Is As Necessary As Love and Sex
David M. Buss
Manufacturer: Free Press
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Silent Power
ASIN: 0684850818 |
Amazon.com
If you think that jealousy is simply a neurosis or merely a manifestation of insecurity, then reading David Buss's The Dangerous Passion may change your opinion. Buss asserts that jealousy is an adaptive behavior, albeit an imperfect one, which helped our human ancestors cope with reproductive threats. Buss uses examples from insect and primate populations, as well as Hollywood, to help illustrate the evolutionary concepts discussed. Building on his previous book, The Evolution of Desire, on the gender differences in mate selection, Buss argues for a coevolutionary cycle based on concealment and detection (jealousy) between the genders in their drive to optimize reproductive success.
Although pathological aspects of jealousy--battering, stalking, and killing--are argued to be the result of adaptive responses, they are in no way defended as acceptable or natural behavior. Buss indicates that it is his hope that by understanding the forces that shaped jealousy we can better cope with its effects--positive or negative. --Irwin S. Hirsh
Book Description
Why do men and women cheat on each other? How do men really feel when their partners have sex with other men? What worries women more -- men who turn to other women for love or men who simply want sexual variety in their lives? Can the jealousy husbands and wives experience over real or imagined infidelities be cured? Should it be? In this surprising and engaging exploration of men's and women's darker passions, David Buss, acclaimed author of The Evolution of Desire, reveals that both men and women are actually designed for jealousy. Drawing on experiments, surveys, and interviews conducted in thirty-seven countries on six continents, as well as insights from recent discoveries in biology, anthropology, and psychology, Buss discovers that the evolutionary origins of our sexual desires still shape our passions today.
According to Buss, more men than women want to have sex with multiple partners. Furthermore, women who cheat on their husbands do so when they are most likely to conceive, but have sex with their spouses when they are least likely to conceive. These findings show that evolutionary tendencies to acquire better genes through different partners still lurk beneath modern sexual behavior. To counteract these desires to stray -- and to strengthen the bonds between partners -- jealousy evolved as an early detection system of infidelity in the ancient and mysterious ritual of mating.
Buss takes us on a fascinating journey through many cultures, from pre-historic to the present, to show the profound evolutionary effect jealousy has had on all of us. Only with a healthy balance of jealousy and trust can we be certain of a mate's commitment, devotion, and true love.
Download Description
Why do husbands and wives stray? Are we born polygamous or do we become unfaithful as we age? Do men and women experience jealousy differently? Which is more threatening: sexual or emotional infidelity? In The Dangerous Passion evolutionary psychologist David Buss zooms in on men's and women's different sexual cues and styles -- and the strong emotions they trigger -- as he explains why we get together and stay together, against all odds.
Backing his opinions with the most comprehensive survey ever undertaken (in thirty-seven countries on six continents), case studies, and the latest scientific discoveries from psychology, anthropology, and archaeology, Buss explains why men and women usually misread each other's desires and passions. And he shows how although jealousy, at its extreme, is a volatile emotion that can cause violence, even death, its absence leaves couples emotionally and sexually adrift. Nature has made sure, Buss concludes, that only with a healthy balance of jealousy and trust can we feel certain of our mate's love, commitment, and devotion.
Customer Reviews:
Good analysis, somewhat redundant, but incisive........2004-10-16
I don't know which book was written first, but this book features a bit of conceptual overlap with his other book, "The Evolution Of Desire." Additionally, Buss seems to like to sometimes pad his writing by overexplaining certain concepts, overexpounding, and/or repeating himself. I get the feeling at times he is trying to fill out the book.
Having got that out of the way, I still believe he is an excellent author. I am pleased to read an author who has the gall to resist the tide of political correctness which infects most pop psychologists, and who instead writes from a flatly evolutionary, analytical standpoint. His focus on the historical development of our animalistic tendencies, needs, and wants, is often quite incisive. His observations, both in this book and the one mentioned above, seem quite intuititive to me.
I particularly enjoy the way he often legitimizes his viewpoints by backing them up with cross-cultural evidence, especially when he references some of the bizarre and brutal practices which take place in primitive cultures. His statistics prevent the reader from coming to suspect that he is just some lazy, armchair pseudointellectual psychologist who is merely sitting around chewing on a pipe, theorizing and abstracting--it reminds us that he is a scientist who has done his homework. Given the controversial nature of some of these concepts, I believe he knew this practice was necessary.
Once again, intuitive writing. I can scarcely recall a concept from either book which I flatly disagreed with. When you're talking about jealousy in primitive cultures, you're talking jealousy latent in first world humans as well. You are talking about pervasive commonalities in human nature, thus you're talking about animal nature. And if you're talking about animal nature, a good scientist can pinpoint it. Buss is that scientist for jealousy and desire. I just wish he wouldn't apologize for some of his more controversial viewpoints on topics like the causes of battery and rape. Yeah, they're terrible things, but any person whose title ends in "-ologist" ought never have to apologize for thinking through problems, even if the outcome is cold, scientific, or unpopular.
One warning, if you enjoy the delusion of Snow White or Rapunzel type crap, this man will smash it for you. I personally am addicted to books such as this one, books which tinker with the workings of the mind, and the preconceptions of human nature. If you're like me and you don't really mind having your love life reduced to a negotiation between survival resources and reproductive value, if you prefer the truth inherent in evolutionary logic to storybook self-deceptions, then you ought to have this man's work on your shelf.
Let's face it, the Storybook people eventually get hit by a truck driven by themselves anyway.
right on the money.......2002-11-17
I first ordered this book to help me overcome jealousy. When I first started reading it, I soon found out the book explains jealousy and why it exists, rather than teaching you how to overcome it. I learned that my jealous feelings were somewhat justified, and normal. This book was painfully truthful: it hit the nail on the head in regards to me marrital situation at the time.
Justifying male violence? even though he abhors it.......2001-09-13
I recently read 'The Red Queen' and 'Why is Sex Fun?' and I was disappointed in both with their justifications of sexual behaviour as evolutionarily driven. These book suggest that sex is fun to make sure we keep having it, and thus perpetuate the species. And male and female sexual behaviour is justified (if it needs it) so that individuals can promote their own specific genetic material. This is all back-to-front to me - we are here because sex is fun (well, partly - it may be that we would have been here anyway, there is no way of knowing, but the fact that other species are here when 'fun' is not a concept we expect them to experience suggests 'fun' is not necessarily a primary requirement). To me it seems that our individual behaviour is for our individual pleasure (which extends beyond our bodies and in extreme cases maybe in exclusion to our bodies).
There is a 'law' of science called Occam's Razor - the simplest explanation is to be preferred over more complex ones. On page 123 Mr Buss explains the EHMT proposal to explain why jealousy (or more exactly infidelity - this book is almost exclusively about infidelity - not jealousy) sometimes leads to homicide. EHMT clearly fails Occam's Razor, as does the opposing theory called 'slip-ups'. It's simple to me. When people have pleasures withdrawn they get angry and anger sometimes leads to violence which sometimes leads to homicide. There is no need to propose elaborate theories to justify a particular proposal that our behaviour is an evolutionary function which controls our lives. Mr Buss ends up abhorring male violence but at the same time explains it is something that the individual can do nothing about - it's in their genes.
I wonder if this evolutionary theory for behaviour is a hangover from the time when we had to have a conscious planner as creator - God. A power that put purpose into every aspect of our existence. I have no trouble with God, but do not see any need for there to be a creator who designed every feature of our existence, which would include things like disease.
I much prefer to think that people act on the basis of threats to themselves rather than threats to their potential offspring.
Here are a few other points that I felt aggrieved with about the message proposed in this book:
Children are seen to be vital - the continuing of your dna into the next generation - but some parents abandon children, and parents of adopted and assisted-fertilisation children love their children as much as natural children
Far too often there are statements following a couple of anecdotes like 'These two anecdotes, of course, do not add up to scientific evidence.' (p166) I'm sure the average reader will be swayed nevertheless.
My view of this book is almost entirely negative and I hope I have shared some of my reasons with you so that you can avoid a disappointment. If you disagree with what I have written, go ahead and read the book - you may find it useful.
Interesting layperson read - not a good justification.......2000-11-09
An interesting look at why we are jealous from an evolutionary perspective. Find out why jealousy is necessary for reproductive success for both genders. How do men and women differently express their jealousy? Why are some of us more jealous than others? And why does jealousy vary from relationship to relationship?
This book does a good job at developing a theoretical framework for jealousy, and it also gives you tools to evaluate the possible biological causation of your possessiveness in relationship. I feel that this is where its biggest strength for me lies, as it allows me to think further and transcend the way my genes have evolved.
My only qualm with this book is that is dances the line of positive and normative science, going a bit too far to justify jealousy with evolutionary accounts. Don't let the naturalistic fallacy convince you that this sort of ugly behavior is okay.
"Necessary" from the POV of the genes..........2000-10-23
Jealousy exists, like love and sex, to help propagate an individual's genes. It is a mechanism of the species to help insure for males paternity, and for females that their offspring receive the benefit of male protection, support and guidance. Jealousy is not "necessary" (as the subtitle disinformationally suggests) in the same sense that sex per se is necessary; nor is it an emotion, like love, that we might want to retain, had we our druthers. Jealousy is the emotional downside of the sexual/reproductive strategies employed by humans. It is "necessary" in the same sense (although not to the same degree) that pain is necessary. Furthermore, in the environment we now find ourselves, as opposed to the prehistoric savannahs in which the mechanism of jealousy proved adaptive, it is unnecessary, and something we might want to understand and come to grips with in an attempt to lessen its hold on us.
But what this book is really about is infidelity, how and why it occurs, and what can be done to forestall it. In this context, jealousy (not envy which is directed at somebody who has something we want) is seen as an adaptive mechanism to protect the individual against a straying partner, either through heightened awareness or through inducing threats of reprisal, or through actual punishment of the infidel. Buss, a psychologist and author of the college text, Evolutionary Psychology: The New Science of the Mind, uses case histories from our culture and others and the results of personality inventories laced with humor to illustrate how the experience of jealousy leads to "mate guarding" and "mate retention tactics" that help the individual secure his or her position in the "mating market." As such jealousy is seen as a "signal" to both one's self (awakening one to the imminent danger of infidelity) and to one's partner (as a warning that one is on to the other's tricks). Consequently, Buss defines jealousy (p. 196) as "an adaptive signal of an impending threat to a primary love relationship." Included in this view is the understanding that infidelity, painful as it is, is a normal human behavior practiced by "as many as half of all married individuals."
The style here is easy and accessible to a wide range of readers. The material is light-hearted (inasmuch as such a serious subject can be) but without any pasting-over of the dangers of jealousy. Underpinning the exposition is a thorough knowledge of human sexuality as derived from biology and evolutionary psychology. Buss not only knows what he is talking about, but imparts the information in a manner that, chapter by chapter, leads the reader to a deep and satisfying understanding of infidelity and the mechanism of jealousy.
Along the way we learn some unsettling facts. For example, marital happiness has no effect on the instance of male infidelity. "In fact, 56 percent of the men who were having affairs judged their marriage to be very happy" (p. 146). Or that women pursue a sexual strategy including a "desire to stray" that "exists today solely because that's what benefitted ancestral women" (p. 159). We also learn which type of personality is likely to stray (pp. 148-151) and that the more attractive partners ("those...higher in mate value") are more likely to cheat (p. 143). Also interesting is the semi-obvious observation that women can attract a higher-ranked male on a one-night stand than as a husband (and so might), and that men will stoop to lower-ranked females for pure sex than those they choose for wives.
Buss devotes the last two chapters to coping mechanisms. He concludes with the fine observation that "knowledge...of our dangerous passions...will, in some small measure, give us the emotional wisdom to deal with them." This observation is what evolutionary psychology is all about, and why it is the emergent psychology of the twenty-first century.
Best joke (p. 185): At a therapist's gathering with a straying husband, his wife and the other woman, the wife informs the affairee that she is still sleeping with her husband, and that he has lied to both of them. "The affairee felt betrayed and stalked out, saying...that all men betray their wives, but only a real asshole would betray his girlfriend." Buss adds, "Therapy was unsuccessful in this case."
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