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- Ceremony in Death
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Ceremony in Death (In Death)
J.D. Robb , and
Nora Roberts
Manufacturer: Berkley
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Binding: Paperback
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ASIN: 0425157628 |
Book Description
Eve Dallas is conducting a top secret investigation into the death of a fellow officer-but every clue brings her closer to the most seductive form of evil.
Eve Dallas is conducting a top secret investigation into the death of a fellow officer-but every clue brings her closer to the most seductive form of evil...
Download Description
Another thrilling novel in the futuristic series--where even in an age of cutting-edge technology, old beliefs die hard…
Customer Reviews:
Another Winner!.......2007-08-12
Another winner in the "...IN DEATH" series, CEREMONY IN DEATH finds Eve Dallas dealing with things that mere science can't explain. Although Dallas believes that evil comes in the form of men, you'll get a little surprise when you find out exactly how other characters from the series, including Roarke and Dr. Mira, feel about it.
Another great read, with high emotion, action, suspense, and romance.
This is an awesome series!
revue.......2007-07-23
one of many in the eve dallas series. good prmise but draggy at times
Great.......2007-07-19
I love this series... you must read it to understand. It's all about a homicide detective named Lt. Eve Dallas and how she goes about solving a case which always seems imposibble to solve at first.
GREAT installment!.......2007-03-22
The thing I like about Eve Dallas is that she's always learning. In her youth, life taught her some very hard lessons. Now life is teaching her to chip away that hard exterior, rid herself of preconceptions and become not only a better cop but a better PERSON.
This story goes a long way toward the aim of character development. It's a great tale and very suspenseful. I have to say I didn't see the ending coming. I am good about predicting a story's end. I fell far short of being able to predict this one. A GREAT JOB!
Ceremony in Death.......2007-03-08
This story line of J.D. Robb was great! I love who done it books with some romance kicked in for good measure. This book kept my attention all the way to the end. I really love J.D Robbs stlye of writing and characters in this series.
Amazon.com
Imagine that as you leave your body at death, you hear the voice of a loved one whispering in your ear explanations of everything you see in the world beyond. Unlike other translations of Bar do thos grol (or The Tibetan Book of the Dead), Robert Thurman's takes literally the entire gamut of metaphysical assumptions. Thurman translates Bar do thos grol as The Great Book of Natural Liberation through Understanding in the Between. It is one of many mortuary texts of the Nyingma sect of Tibetan Buddhism and is commonly recited to or by a person facing imminent death. Thurman reproduces it for this purpose, explaining in some depth the Tibetan conception of postmortem existence. Over as many as 12 days, the deceased person is given explanations of what he or she sees and experiences and is guided through innumerable visions of the realms beyond to reach eventual liberation, or, failing that, a safe rebirth. Like a backpacker's guide to a foreign land, Thurman's version is clear, detailed, and sympathetic to the inexperienced voyager. It includes background and supplementary information, and even illustrations (sorry, no maps). Don't wait until the journey has begun. Every page should be read and memorized well ahead of time. --Brian Bruya
Customer Reviews:
Tibetan Book of the Dead.......2006-03-10
The description of this book made it sound easy enough for a total novice to read. Turns out it's a lot more academic than I expected. That's not a bad thing -- it's just taking more time and effort than anticipated. If you're game for a real test of your determination to know more about this Buddhist stuff, go ahead and get it.
Robert Thurman's supplements here are worth much more than his translation.......2006-01-23
This was the first edition of the Bardo Thodrol I ever read. I had been a practicing Buddhist for about a year, but still could not understand, or really accept the idea of transmigration, i.e., a cycle of births and rebirths. It was this book that shattered my doubts, and to this day, it remains the most vivid discussion of the nature of life and death I have ever read. Yet it was not the translation that had the effect. It was the vast supplementary material supplied by Robert Thurman. The introductory essays concerning Tibetan Buddhism, living and dying in Tibetan and modern traditions, and the nature of death, are in fact worth much more than his translation. In trying render the Bardo Thodrol, an esoteric teaching of an esoteric religion, useful to all readers, Thurman sacrifices much of the intrinsic beauty of the text. He replaces words such as karma with evolution, Dharmakaya with Truth-body, and, following the tradition of Burton Watson, goes on to translate the names of various good and bad deities in a literal, clumsy translation. It was a nice effort, but ultimately, this text is made useful by Thurman's supplements, not his translation. For this, the Evans-Wentz version is still the standard. Yet, for a Buddhist who doesn't understand the cycle of birth and death, this is a great explanation.
Thurman brings clarity of mind to this translation.......2005-12-03
The introduction provided by Robert Thurman provides valuable context for understanding The Book of Natural Liberation Through Understanding In the Between. Thurman is able to reach out to non-believers by calmly explaining that Tibetan Buddhism is not about belief and dogmatism, but understanding experience more fully. He likens the monks who obtained the knowledge found in the book to spiritual scientists--an oxymoron until one understands the pragmatic value of this book. Use of this book to greater good is not dependent on the particulars of one's personal religious faith or lack thereof. The author helpfully reminds us that according to the tenets of our our scientific laws energy is neither created nor destroyed. Thus it seems likely that our whole being or part of it at least will end up going somewhere, in some form after we die. The introduction and translation are valuable tools for people who want greater understanding or for those who wish to use this book for its intended purpose.
A great translation of a famous spiritual masterpiece........2005-06-16
Uma is not the only superstar of the Thurman family. Robert Thurman has long been recognized as one of our leading scholars on Tibetan Buddhism and Tibetan culture.
This book is be read to the deceased shortly after death to remind the deceased to keep focused on the "clear light" to avoid rebirth and if rebirth cannot be avoided to guide the deceased to be reborn into the best possible situation.
The one of the secrets of the Tibetan Book of the Dead is that it is as much for the living as it is for the dead.
The demons that devour the various parts of the body as one travels through the bardos try to frighten the dead and distract them from focusing on the clear light. They are similar to life's "demons" that distract us from our purpose and the work and path we have selected.
A great translation of the classic work.
Highly recommended
Jim Connell "Hallstatt Prince"
Beautifully romanticized.......2005-01-02
This is a beautiful book, and I know of no other translation that is more readable and spiritually satisfying. Thurman is one of a handful of people responsible for buddhism's popularity in the west today. Having said that, I must also warn readers that Thurman has quite a tendency to romanticize Tibet as a pristine, untouchable place where perfection would have been inevitable, had the Chinese not destroyed the country (which undoubtedly they are destroying lives, culture, monasteries, and peace; but it has been argued that our perceptions of Tibetan buddhism could be more dangerous to Tibet than China). Donald Lopez's Prisoners of Shangri-la is an excellent book and balances Thurman's translation nicely. Tibet is a real place, and people there struggle with as many spiritual issues as westerners. The Tibetan Book of the Dead is a somewhat obscure text that has been read by more westerners than Tibetans, largely due to fanciful inclusions of the perception of Tibet as the spiritually perfected country and Tibetans as the most spiritually advanced people on earth.
Grow spiritually through your reading of this book, but please supplement it with more honest cultural translations of Tibet and Tibetans. This book should not be the sole representative of Tibetan buddhism to you. Tibet's place as a real country with a history that includes its invasions of Burma and other, unsavory facts should not make it a less valued and endangered place.
Book Description
This is a comprehensive guide for consumers making funeral arrangements with or without a funeral director. It contains detailed descriptions of the "tricks of the funeral trade", to avoid unwanted and overpriced goods and services, and how to file a complaint when subjected to unethical funeral home practices. It provides practical information on all aspects of death care, so that family, friends, and church groups can perform some or all of the functions themselves rather than hiring a funeral director. The laws and regulations of each state are described in easy-to-understand language, with listings of "consumer concerns" in states that have inadequate protections for consumers. The individual chapters for each state also include contact information for medical schools that have a need for body donations, crematories, local non-profit memorial societies, and specific statewide cautions about dealing with funeral and cemetery establishments. The Federal Trade Commission's Funeral Rule is explained, including the protections it provides for consumers and also its shortcomings.
Customer Reviews:
Care for the Dead...and Their Hard-Earned Savings!.......2005-05-11
In "Caring for the Dead," Lisa Carlson provides both an informative guide to DIY funerals and cremations, as well as a searing exposé of the funeral and cemetery industries.
Carlson divides her book into three sections: "Personal Stories" is a 40-page introduction to the text in which different individuals (including Carlson) discuss their experiences with death and the subsequent disposal of the dead; "General Information" consists of 14 chapters and explains both "traditional" and non-traditional funerals, as well as cremation and body and organ donation; finally, "Caring for the Dead" details the relevant laws and regulations of all 50 US states.
It was the "General Information" section that I found most captivating. I've never had to arrange a funeral (and hopefully I won't need to for some time yet!), so I was woefully unaware of what actually takes place during the course of planning and implementing one. Carlson demonstrates how greed and callousness have pervaded the funeral and burial industries, causing prices to skyrocket while sales tactics plummet to new levels of depravity.
Through manipulative techniques and downright lies, funeral directors convince John Q. Public that embalming is both required by law and essential for public safety (in reality, it is neither, and the chemicals used are actually toxic to the environment), while cemeteries strong-arm consumers into paying maximum price for a minimum amount of real estate, all the while demanding that any upgrades be purchased, installed, and maintained solely by them (for a hefty fee, of course!). Even cremations don't come cheap, as crematories guilt-trip survivors into buying expensive caskets (which will simply be destroyed within days) and cemeteries deceive them into buying niches in which to "bury" the cremains.
While this is all quite appalling, it hardly comes as a surprise; after all, it's just another example of capitalism at its worst. Harder to comprehend is how funeral homes and cemeteries are allowed to get away with this sort of crap! Well, again, I guess I shouldn't be shocked - we are talking about the FTC here. Like many savvy businesses, funeral homes and cemeteries simply band together in the form of associations, which then employ lobbyists, apply a modicum of political pressure, and top it all off with campaign contributions, and - presto! - the FTC at your command!
End of political rant, back to the book review!
In essence, the "General Information" section serves as an excellent consumer guide, informing you of your rights, detailing the immoral and sometimes illegal sales tactics you're likely to encounter, and teaching you how to come out victorious over those who wish to separate you from YOUR money and rob you of the valuable opportunity to care for YOUR dead, YOUR way. The final chapters on state-by-state laws offer an excellent supplement to the general information.
I highly recommend "Caring for the Dead" to EVERYONE, whether you anticipate planning a funeral in the near future or not. Many Americans are duped into buying funeral and burial services that they neither need nor want. Chances are that, sooner or later, we'll all be responsible for "caring for the dead," or will know someone who is. As consumers (it sounds rather crass, but `tis true!), we must arm ourselves with information so that we aren't caught off-guard when a death does occur. After all, we shouldn't expect those involved in the funeral business to look after our bests interests; the bottom line is that they're businesspeople who are concerned about their bottom lines! Educate yourself, and share your knowledge with your friends, your family, and anyone you know who's in the unfortunate position of having to arrange a funeral or cremation.
Another excellent book that deals with this subject is "The American Way of Death Revisited," by Jessica Mitford (to which Lisa Carlson contributed). Ms. Mitford deals with the subject in more of a muck-raking journalistic manner (as opposed to a consumer guide, as is "Caring for the Dead"), but it's a highly informative analysis of the "American death" nonetheless. After developing a sense of the funeral industry's antics in "Caring for the Dead," you'll appreciate Mitford's dry wit and humor in "The American Way of Death Revisited."
- Kelly Garbato
Author & ePublisher, Peedee Publishing / Hot Dog!, LLC
Contributor, Always Remembered
Read it before you die!.......2001-11-18
This book is a must-read before you pre-buy your funeral and accoutrements. Caught planning someone else's funeral? Take time to read this book. This book has a load of legal information and practical advice to keep you from being scammed by those who are pros and have a ready audience in grieving people.
Not all funeral homes are devious. Some, no doubt, are very ethical and take the time to be fair with clients. But a time of grief isn't the time to seriously look into whether a home is trustworthy or not.
What you have been lead to believe about funerals and the law may not be accurate. This book is a real eye-opener!
Gets 10 Stars from Me.......2001-06-12
This is the update version of her original Caring For Your Own Dead and what I said about that book applies here. Lost count of the number of copies of this book I have bought, but I love giving it as a gift, and have used it myself actually when helping friends build plain pine burial boxes and oak burial boxes for loved ones.
It is a subject that needs to be discussed more, since so many people assume that ONLY a funeral home that charges thru the nose in prices, can legally handle a body or a funeral and burial. Fact is nothing could be further from the truth. The book discusses each states laws, along with what family and loved ones need to know about getting tansport permits to get the body of a loved one either home from the hospital, and prepared for a service and burial or to a local cemetary or cremation facility for handling. And the new edition has updated info on state to state laws.
Fact is my Grandma Katy who grew up in rural Montana knew all about washing and dressing family members and the whole life to death process and that death and burial need NOT be a scary and uneasy thing to take part in. The author discusses all the myths of handling the dead, and all the misconceptions people have about death and dying. Personally I cannot think of a more loving gift than welcoming a new life into the world and helping a loved on who has exited this world.
This book and the classic The American Way Of Death by Jessica Mitford are MUST reads for anyone who is mature, thoughtful and not so easy swayed to handing all their personal needs over to strangers. Ceasar Chavez' family made his plain pine burial boxes. The Amish make all their own burial boxes and have for centuries. Locally we made our friends Bea Brickeys plain pine box per her wishes.
Bill Cosbys family buried their beloved son who had been murdered, at their home. And the Amish, some Quakers and a number of Sierra Club members I know have all done the "home funeral", so the idea that you the average citizen cannot do what the Amish and the wealthy do for their own loved ones, is just not true. Read the book if for no other reason that to learn something new.
Good handbook-style reference.......2001-02-28
I had the earlier edition of this book, "Caring For Your Own Dead," as well as the most recent. Over the years, I've given both copies away to others.
The revised edition has a few extra essays by Carlson and others, but its bulk, and most important part, remains its state-by-state breakdown of mortuary laws. You may never again have to listen with a straight face while a Funeral Director tells you that the embalming and vaults are required by state law. She also lists cremation and burial societies in most states.
Most excellent, and highly reoommended........2000-05-07
This book is clearly writtten, and details what is and what is NOT needed to bury one's own.
Our father was buried simply, no flowers, or any of what he would have called 'that show stuff'.
He would have approved of the no nonsense and guilt free approach of 'Caring for the Dead'.
Amazon.com
The Optimist's Daughter is a compact and inward-looking little novel, a Pulitzer Prize winner that's slight of page yet big of heart. The optimist in question is 71-year-old Judge McKelva, who has come to a New Orleans hospital from Mount Salus, Mississippi, complaining of a "disturbance" in his vision. To his daughter, Laurel, it's as rare for him to admit "self-concern" as it is for him to be sick, and she immediately flies down from Chicago to be by his side. The subsequent operation on the judge's eye goes well, but the recovery does not. He lies still with both eyes heavily bandaged, growing ever more passive until finally--with some help from the shockingly vulgar Fay, his wife of two years--he simply dies. Together Fay and Laurel travel to Mount Salus to bury him, and the novel begins the inward spiral that leads Laurel to the moment when "all she had found had found her," when the "deepest spring in her heart had uncovered itself" and begins to flow again.
Not much actually happens in the rest of the book--Fay's low-rent relatives arrive for the funeral, a bird flies down the chimney and is trapped in the hall--and yet Welty manages to compress the richness of an entire life within its pages. This is a world, after all, in which a set of complex relationships can be conveyed by the phrase "I know his whole family" or by the criticism "When he brought her here to your house, she had very little idea of how to separate an egg." Does such a place exist anymore? It is vanishing even from this novel, and the personification of its vanishing is none other than Fay--petulant, graceless, childish, with neither the passion nor the imagination to love. Welty expends a lot of vindictive energy on Fay and her kin, who must be the most small-minded, mean-mouthed clan since the Snopeses hit Frenchman's Bend. There's more than just class snobbery at work here (though that surely comes into it too). As Welty sees it, they are a special historical tribe who exult in grieving because they have come to be good at it, and who seethe with resentment from the day they are born. They have come "out of all times of trouble, past or future--the great, interrelated family of those who never know the meaning of what has happened to them."
Fay belongs to the future, as she makes clear; it's Laurel who belongs to the past--Welty's own chosen territory. In her fine memoir, One Writer's Beginnings, Welty described the way art could shine a light back "as when your train makes a curve, showing that there has been a mountain of meaning rising behind you on the way you've come." Here, in one of her most autobiographical works, the past joins seamlessly with the present in a masterful evocation of grief, memory, loss, and love. Beautifully written, moving but never mawkish, The Optimist's Daughter is Eudora Welty's greatest achievement--which is high praise indeed. --Mary Park
Book Description
This story of a young woman's confrontation with death and her past is a poetic study of human relations.
Customer Reviews:
Going home, again.......2007-05-04
"The Optimist's Daughter" bears two of the great hallmarks of Eudora Welty's writing: meticulously recorded conversation and an emphasis on how "stories" shape our lives. Laurel, a young woman who left the South many years ago to pursue a life in Chicago, returns when her father is suddenly taken ill and requires an operation in New Orleans. There she waits out her father's long attempt at recovery in the company of her stepmother, a self-absorbed woman younger than herself with whom she has nothing in common. After her father dies, the two women accompany the body of her father, the Judge, back to her childhood home in a small town in Mississippi. Prior to the funeral a visitation takes place, and here we hear the authentic voices of all the townspeople as well as those of the Texas clan of the stepmother Fay who has claimed that all her relatives are dead. As each of these visitors pays condolences to Laurel the entire town becomes fleshed out in the words that each uses to describe his or her relationship with the Judge. Whole characters come fully to life in a single line of dialog. On the day after the funeral, some of the neighborwomen get together with Laurel to review the funeral (and discuss the stepmother). Everyone feels dissatisfied with how the funeral came off--all feel slightly uncomfortable with their own performance and those of the other mourners--demonstrating the awkwardness and stress of all funerals and the inadequacy of most people to express their true feelings of loss in these circumstances.
Throughout the book, we see the importance of the "stories" that we tell about ourselves. Already at the funeral the townspeople begin to tell stories about the Judge, exaggerating his courage and turning him into a community hero. Laurel objects to the town rewriting her father's history, but is powerless to stop them, as her father ceases to be an individual and becomes a story. Fay has worked hard to convince herself and the rest of the world that she comes from better origins than is the actual case. She is a difficult character to care about with her selfishness, distance, anger, and envy, but, as we see and hear the stories of the members of the family she has tried to distance herself from, we begin at least to understand better why she is the way she is. On her last night in her childhood home, Laurel looks through the letters and papers of her long-dead mother, who was beloved by the town, her husband, and her daughter. Through these stories (based on Welty's own memories of her mother's childhood home in West Virginia and on her mother's stories of growing up there) Laurel comes to a deeper understanding of both of her parents, their marriage, and herself.
The final theme in this simple, but profound book is the deep isolation of individuals, even when surrounding by family and friends. Laurel's father appears to have been deeply isolated emotionally despite his marriages to two women to whom he was devoted, and he draws into himself again as death approaches. Laurel's mother became increasingly isolated as blindness and mental disintegration drew her into her own world of pain and anger. Fay is loved neither by her family or the town to which her husband has brought her. Her only connection was to her husband and her anger at his death, which she sees as his desertion of her, becomes understandable. Laurel, long a widow after a brief marriage, has chosen to continue living alone in the city to which her husband took her, isolated from the community of love in which she grew up. Ultimately, however, Laurel discovers that memories can bind us to the past and prevent our moving forward. Before leaving her childhood home forever, Laurel burns all of her mother's papers. Having thus broken the hold of the past, she is now free to create a life of her own. Home will now be wherever she is.
Families and communities.......2006-01-12
Judge McKelva, Laurel's father, had a slipped retina. The Judge, an optimist, felt Dr. Courtland, a former neighbor in Mount Salus, Mississippi, could do the operation. Dr. Courtland had had something to do with the care of Laurel's mother, who had died.
Afterwards the Judge showed unnatural patience, reticence, and silence while he had to keep his head still after the operation. Reading NICHOLAS NICKLEBY seemed endless to Laurel. In wordless communication, Laurel came to understand that her task was not to read the book aloud to her father, but to pass the time at his bedside by reading it to herself.
The Judge's new wife was probably younger than his daughter. Fay was from Texas and claimed that her family was deceased. She tried to rouse Judge McKelva and she was stopped from doing so by the private duty nurse. McKelva collapsed and died. Dr. Courtland said that the eye had been healing. The Judge had helped the doctor financially while he was in medical school he told Laurel.
Laurel's bride's maids met her at the train and filled the house with food. The old Garden Club members were present, too. Adele Courtland, the doctor's sister, helped. It was a surprise to Laurel that Fay's relatives appeared at the Judge's funeral. The Judge had had no use for theatrics. Laurel was confused. The mourners were saying her father was a crusader, an angel.
It came to Laurel that her father had liked Gibbon, not Dickens. Mount Salus Presbyterian Church had been built by the McKelvas. Fay decided to return to Texas with her family for a visit. Family members spoke her language. Laurel faced her father's library. Everything important was in there. (Fay was getting the house.)
Laurel had married Philip Hand, an Ohio country boy. She was a widow, too, and would return to work in her field of art in another state.
The Quiet Optimist.......2006-01-05
In Eudora Welty's book, The Optimist's Daughter, Laurel Hand, the main character, notices her father's clock has stopped. Her father has, of course, just died, and for Laurel this means that time has become an elastic proposition. If any 20th century author can be said to have the power to split a moment, it is Eudora Welty.
The Optimist's Daughter is a study in grief and in love that carefully avoids cliché. Arriving from Chicago, Laurel watches her father let go of life after a seemingly successful operation. Meanwhile, his second wife, a younger woman named Fay who lacks the capacity for any kind of introspection, stages a display of raw anger. When they return for the funeral, Laurel watches again as the eccentric town, and Fay's even more eccentric family, converge upon the coffin of Mount Salus's first citizen.
Welty, who spent most of her life in Mississippi, has an ear for small town vernacular, and dialogue plays an important part in the book. Yet she never permits the narrative to travel along familiar lines, and often the characters speak out into thin air, as if to themselves. Laurel's distinctive silence marks the minutes before she is able to confront the past, which she does once she is alone, examining the contents of the house.
A storm, a trapped bird, and the fading correspondence of her parents' bring about the catharsis that she requires. She begins to understand the fallibility, the depth, and the complex nature of their love. `"Why did I marry a coward?"' her mother asks while dying, and Welty, as Laurel, continues - `then had taken his hand to help him bear it.'
Of all the writer's precepts, perhaps the most difficult is simplicity, of knowing when to shut up. Welty walks a fine line between boredom and profundity at times, but as Laurel goes about erasing the traces of Fay's influence (the nail polish on the desk) and her own past (she burns her mother's letters and confronts her personal losses), we sense in her a woman of uncommon maturity. There are no literary flourishes in The Optimist's Daughter, which means that every word on the page is carefully used. Take your time with this book - it bears re-reading.
A Rewarding Experience.......2005-12-21
I tend to agree with most of the glowing reviews and I can understand some of the frustration with the few negative reviews.
The complaint that "not much happens" after the funeral is valid to a point. Today's readers want to see evil and ignorance vanquished, whether it's a genuine villian or just some hillbilly white trash grabbing up an old man's estate with both hands.
But this is an evil and ignorant world, and Welty does a wonderful job of telling a story that feels not so much like a story but real life itself.
To me, I was impressed with Welty's incredible economy to tell this story. Anyone assigned to read this for a class or trying it out on their own should keep that in mind while reading it.
It will make for a more rewarding reading experience.
Concise and clear.......2005-10-14
I picked up this book on a remainder table. I had heard of Eudora Welty, only because of this book, which won her the Pulitzer Prize.
I was not dissapointed for the following reasons:
1. The book is concise. Sometimes it is nice to get through a book in 3 hours rather than 3 weeks, or like some that really drag, 3 months.
2. The prose is wonderful, the descriptions colorful. The storyline is simple, I could summarize the storyline in 3 sentences or less, but what was remarkable was the beauty of the writing and the short, descriptive paragraphs which made me go back and reread a few which I thought were particularly poignant.
3. The storyline, although simple, is interesting. I could relate to Laurel; I could see the old house and recognize all the neighbors as they came to her father's wake. I am surprised it has not been made into a movie. (or has it?)
4. The storyline and writing style reminded me of 'A Summons to Memphis" by Peter Taylor, another Southern writer.
If you are looking for action packed, this book isn't it. Should you want to appreciate some of the finest American Literature of the 20th century, this is a good pick.
Book Description
Cullen has created a humorous and poignant chronicle of her travels around the country to discover how Americans -- baby boomers, in particular -- are reinventing the rites of dying. What she discovered is that the people who reinvented youth, redefined careers, and reconceived middle age have created a new attitude toward the afterlife. They no longer want to take death lying down; instead, they're taking their demise into their own hands and planning the after-party.
Cullen begins her journey at a national undertakers' convention in Nashville, where she checks out the latest in death merchandise. Traveling with her newborn infant on her back, she hears stories of modern-day funerals: lobster-shaped caskets and other unconventional containers for corpses; the booming cremation industry that has spawned a slew of "end-trepreneurs," including a company that turns cremated remains into diamonds; and even mishaps like dove releases gone horribly wrong.
Cullen tours the country's first "green" cemetery in South Carolina, meets a mummification advocate at his pyramid in Utah, and visits the Frozen Dead Guy Days festival in Colorado. She crashes a Hmong funeral in Minneapolis and a tango funeral in Washington, D.C.
Eye-opening, funny, and unforgettable, Remember Me gives an account of the ways in which Americans are designing new occasions to mark death -- by celebrating life.
Customer Reviews:
Thoughts from a Funeral Futurist.......2007-07-23
Lisa Takeuchi Cullen's "Remember Me - A Lively Tour of the New American Way of Death" is a light and entertaining journal of her travels with her newborn daughter exploring the many new options that the Me-Generation can choose to be remembered. She provides personal interjections along with the explanations of these new offerings from their creators - who she has dubbed end-trepeneurs. Cullen then adds intermittent spotlights on people who have chosen or who will choose in the future, to go out with an alternative death-style.
Even though she states that she is not following in the footsteps of Jessica Mitford's 1963 expose of the funeral industry titled "The American Way of Death" Cullen takes many jabs at funeral directors who she calls "the well-armed enforcer of funeral ritual." She, on rare occasion, pedestals funeral directors, but for the most part Cullen uses the wide brush of inflexible, protective, older white male to describe the death care providers. Cullen is right in that these funeral directors exist - those who resist the change in trends - but her book disproportionately accounts for the funeral directors who "get it" and are providing a multitude of options for those they serve. A book about proactive funeral directors would not have the same intrigue as one that can dig up some dirt on the not-so-known industry and take on a hint of fragrance a la Mitford - especially by adopting it into her subtitle.
For funeral directors and cemeterians: "Remember Me" is a great account of the attitudes of baby boomers towards death. There were alternatives that I wasn't even aware of and we as funeral directors must continually be on top of these changes and always be prepared for new requests from families. Although we may not like it when someone like Cullen takes us to task, we cannot hold on to the funeral service industry of past generations, we must embrace the future.
For the general public: Cullen showcases a myriad of options available for someone's final wishes. This however, is not a complete inventory of what is available. Our communities are continually evolving with the immigration of death rituals and the changes in trends. The biggest challenge for funeral directors today is to offer all of the new alternatives while at the same time not to be labeled as a peddler of add-ons and up-sells. If the need arises for the services of a funeral director and you encounter one fitting Cullen's profile, you do have the right to seek the services from another firm as those who are keeping up with the times are slowly squeezing out those who don't.
If "Remember Me" accomplishes one thing - to get people thinking and talking about how they want to be remembered - then it will have been a great service to both the funeral industry and the public. Unfortunately, far too many people do not talk about these end-of-life issues. When the day comes and they are sitting across from the funeral director, it would be very overwhelming (and a little too late) to start the education process of two dozen new alternatives - especially without prior consultation of the deceased. Without prior discussions, the family will usually default back to the previous generation's choices. It is my wish that Cullen's "Remember Me" be the catalyst of many dinner table discussions on this once taboo topic so that when I or my fellow funeral colleagues are sitting with a family upon a death, we can assist them in creating the most meaningful tribute - whatever their wishes may be - to honor a life lived.
Personalization of final farewells.......2007-05-27
I will forewarn you that I have a deep appreciation for the ceremonies of life cycles. Knowing that, I cannot thank Lisa enough for this beautifully written account of the many ways in which people have made the leave-taking of loved ones so very personal to the Immortal Memory. And in doing so, these people and families become known to us. I came away from this book with a real sense of loss regarding the rich variety of personalities remembered here.
In that spirit, Lisa notes a variety of readings she did in preparation for this research, one of which I strongly recommend: The Undertaking: Life Studies from the Dismal Trade
Review of Remember me A new American way of Death.......2007-01-05
A unique look at the different way cultures celebrate or honor the death their loved ones. Great reading
The author's tours and gravesite 'crashing' provides intriguing food for thought........2006-12-12
Remember Me: A Lively Tour of the New American Way of Death tells of the author's travels around the country to portray how modern Americans are re-creating the rites of dying. Many books have been written on the death industry in the past; but none so revealing of future trends as this, which uncovers and defines new attitudes toward death and its ceremonies. Inherent in these changing ceremonial choices, of course, are changing perceptions of the nature of death itself. The author's tours and gravesite 'crashing' provides intriguing food for thought.
Diane C. Donovan
California Bookwatch
Remember Me: Burial Rituals.......2006-12-05
Lisa Takeuchi Cullen's Remember Me, takes us on a journey to the discovery of new and invasive ways that people are reinventing how they want to be buried all across the country. Throughout her journey she finds the disparity between the individualization of American's and the funeral industry. Cullen's research is very humorous and engaging for all readers, but at the same time it gives people a better sense of the reality of death. The impact of different burials within modern day society is changing and she explains this to her viewers from first hand experience. People who were involved in the Baby Boom are growing and the traditional practices that they followed are becoming uncommon as the norm today. At the end of Cullen's introduction she makes a very powerful statement in regards to the title of the book, it states, "remember me that is all their loved ones asked" (Cullen, xvii). Even though times are changing this is one commonality that is found within her research across the country. The brilliant presence that she brings to her words helps us see our environment and the individualization that each person amongst it brings into the content of this book.
Average customer rating:
- PRACTICAL GUIDELINES FOR THE LAST TWO WEEKS OR SO OF A PERSON'S LIFE
- A "must read" for all human beings
- Embracing the end of life
- As you leave us
- Moving and uplifting, with practical advice
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Sacred Dying: Creating Rituals for Embracing the End of Life
Megory Anderson , and
Thomas Moore
Manufacturer: Marlowe & Company
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
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ASIN: 1569244340 |
Amazon.com's Best of 2001
At some point in our lives, many of us will find ourselves sitting at the bedside of a dying loved one. Thanks to Megory Anderson's Sacred Dying, we now have one of the most important and eloquent books available on tending to the dying. Anderson offers readers rituals and interactions to soothe and support a dying person as he or she crosses over into death. Even in situations where there is a specific religious ritual at hand--such as summoning a priest for the last sacrament--there are still many hours (and even days) that can be used to make a dying person feel spiritually and physically comforted and prepared.
As the founder of the Sacred Dying Foundation in San Francisco, Anderson provides real-life examples and strong storytelling to cover all aspects of dying, including how to help someone let go of "unfinished business" and how to massage a dying person to help them let go of their body. Anderson lists the tools for rituals (such as holy water, incense, and markers and paper for writing final thoughts). She even devotes an entire chapter to music--a powerful tool in healing and transcendence. Anderson offers a lovely book that covers everything you need to know to help a dying person feel deeply cared for, whether you choose to read poems aloud from the final chapters or simply sit in silence, holding the hand of a loved one. --Gail Hudson
Book Description
Death may be inevitable, but dying alone or in fear does not have to be. Sacred Dying is theologian Megory Anderson’s essential testimonial and handbook for creating a dignified, peaceful, and more sacred end to life. Anderson includes a section with many prayers and poems from various traditions, and shows how to use personalized and creative rituals to help those dying prepare for their death and to bring a sense of peace, reconciliation, and acceptance both to themselves and to the loved ones they leave behind. She discusses all aspects of this final transition, including how to help a dying person put “unfinished business” to rest; using massage to help the dying let go of his or her body; and how to use music to help the dying focus on specific times, places, or events. For this first-ever paperback edition, she adds a chapter on what can be done after death to help move the soul along. Intended for those who are going through the death of a loved one as well as those facing death personally, Sacred Dying facilitates creating a setting where death is experienced as it should be—with honor, respect, and sacredness.
Customer Reviews:
PRACTICAL GUIDELINES FOR THE LAST TWO WEEKS OR SO OF A PERSON'S LIFE.......2007-04-28
SACRED DYING offers guidelines for helping a dying person die peacefully. For example, let the patient (dying person) guide you, rather than imposing your own wishes. Focus on their needs, not your own; put off your own sorrow (you can go through that after they die, and they no longer need you).
FOCUS ON THE DYING PERSON, and let it be THEIR special time--their last few days or weeks on earth deserve to be honored, as a kind of celebration of their life; let them be surrounded by love.
In fact, one family sang a "happy birthday" song (even though it wasn't the person's birthday)--since there is no song for dying (and dying is a rebirth into a new life, the realm of the spirit).
PEACE--LOVE--LIGHT: key words for end-of-life celebrations/rituals.
Since dying is also a letting go, and saying good-bye, having family members present can aid in reconciliation and forgiveness of old grudges.
Music, reading aloud from sacred scriptures or poetry the patient likes, cleaning the room and bathing the patient, all help create an atmosphere of sacred specialness. (In fact, in my own life, when I was sitting with a dying women as a Hospice volunteer [excellent preparation for when my own loved ones die, I believe], I recited the 23rd Psalm ["The Lord is my shepherd...he makes me lie down in green pastures," etc. after I offered to recite it and the patient was open to hearing it.) Often family members gather around the sick person's bed and say, "Thanks for what you did for me...the trip to the ocean..." or whatever the two did together. It becomes a thanksgiving to the person, and for their life and what they've done. (It does help to bring in an outsider--a family friend--since the family members are usuallly too full of emotions to think of, or set up, a final celebration/ritual.
Another recommendation is sitting overnight with the just-deceased person's body, a spooky, absurd, and alien idea at first to many people--but all who do it end up glad they did. It helps the living adjust to the fact that the loved one really has died. And just as important, the author feels--and I agree--it may be quite helpful and important in aiding the soul of the dead person to move on, leave earth, and go heavenward ("towards the Light," as some people say can be helpful...this is my own experience, not necessarily mentioned in SACRED DYING).
I cried when I read of the youth in San Francisco with AIDS, alone and abandoned by his family. Many of the stories brought tears to my eyes. I feel they helped me emotionally clear the air, so when a loved one dies, I well be more ready to help them leave in peace and hope, with less fear and more optimism, than otherwise would be possible.
I also recommend BEYOND DEATH by Stanislav Grof (worldwide artwork depicting the soul's journey in the afterlife). And for a difficult death where psychedelic therapy (legal, safe) might help, see THE HUMAN ENCOUNTER WITH DEATH, coauthored by Grof.
Also I wonder if Kenneth Ring's HEADING TOWARDS OMEGA, as well as Betty Eadie's EMBRACED BY THE LIGHT, and other near-death-experience books might inspire the susrvivors of the deceased...and help the living to better adjust to their recent loss of a loved one, giving them hope to go on living, and facilite their return to a full, abundant, and satisfying life. (Just as the departed soul in presumably enjoying in the afterlife.)
Finally, one year or more after a person's death, their living relatives and friends might find Raymond Moody's book REUNIONS of some interest. (It tells of using mirrors to contact the deceased loved one, and since it was while gazing into the mirror while I was shaving that I unintentionally felt my just-deceased Grandmother was saying, "How light and warm it is here, compared to where you are!" [It was an overcast, chilly December morning in Burlington, Vermont where I was at the time], I conclude Moody's mirror method--used for thousands of years--might prove workable. [Sensing my Grandmother was reassuring...to know she was comfortable, safe, and well in a place filled with light and beauty...I imagine like an open grassy glade at the edge of a forest.])
A "must read" for all human beings.......2005-06-08
This is one of the books I recommend as a "must read" for all human beings! I only wish I had found this book years ago when I was helping a loved one navigate her own death. I was so ill equipped, mentally and emotionally. I would have done things so differently-- this book has made me view the dying process (and the possibilities for making it incredibly special) in a whole new way. Megory Anderson is the modern day Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. I now give this book to friends on a regular basis.
Embracing the end of life.......2003-12-15
Megory seeks to bring meaning to the end of life. She encourages the reader to make dying a sacred event. One way she creates this sacredness is with rituals. Megory includes in her book a wide range of Scripture, Sacred Texts, and Poetry to aid in creating this sacredness of space and participants. This is a good resource to have on the shelf when we have the opportunity to help others embrace the end of life.
As you leave us.......2003-09-18
Megory Anderson's book 'Sacred Dying' creates a need where none may have existed--the need to plan our own departure from a world we may hate or love but seldom are ready to leave. Unfinished business, the need to say thank you and sorry, accounts, the desire to have one chance to improve, take revenge ... The list is endless. And the need to be able to choose one's hour of departure, in the way one would like needs to be acknowledged and addressed. Megory has certainly addressed some of these needs but perhaps her being located in the Western world has left out those who live in another continent but who nevertheless will be leaving one day or another.
As the Yaksha asked Yudhistir, the eldest of the five Pandavas of the Mahabharat ( in which the Bhagvadgita is found), "What is the greatest miracle?" The wise Yudhishtir's answer satisfied the Yaksha (but that is another story). The answer was, and is "The fact that all of us are mortal and yet we believe we are immortal and spend all our lives accordingly".
I wish that Megory would address the needs and customs of those who belong to other religius persuasions so that we may accordingly benefit.
An excellent book indeed!
Moving and uplifting, with practical advice.......2002-09-04
Sacred Dying offers that hard to find balance: compassionate advice on a very emotional topic written in a clear, clean and easy to understand style. The stories of patients and families are very moving and uplifting. There are lots of practical guidelines for those of all faiths to make the end of life experience what it should be - beautiful!
Amazon.com
The American Way of Death Revisited is almost unforgivably funny. Jessica Mitford's exposé of the funeral industry, a number one bestseller upon first publication, is a model of muckraking--an almost incredible description of how undertakers in the U.S. assault people's souls and wallets. Before her death in 1996, Mitford devoted most of her energy to this revised edition of her masterwork, which zeroes in on funeral prepayment (the chapter is titled "Pay Now--Die Poorer"), the new multinational funeral corporations ("A Global Village of the Dead"), and the Federal Trade Commission's failure to enforce the laws the first edition of this book helped bring about. The book's greatest treasure is probably her shocking and hilarious description of exactly what happens in the process of embalming. Equally impressive, however, is her chapter called "The Nosy Clergy," which describes the collusion and competition between America's undertakers and its preachers. --Michael Joseph Gross
Book Description
"Mitford's funny and unforgiving book is the best memento mori we are likely to get. It should be updated and reissued each decade for our spiritual health."--The New York Review of Books
Only the scathing wit and searching intelligence of Jessica Mitford could turn an exposé of the American funeral industry into a book that is at once deadly serious and side-splittingly funny. When first published in 1963 this landmark of investigative journalism became a runaway bestseller and resulted in legislation to protect grieving families from the unscrupulous sales practices of those in "the dismal trade."
Just before her death in 1996, Mitford thoroughly revised and updated her classic study.
The American Way of Death Revisited confronts new trends, including the success of the profession's lobbyists in Washington, inflated cremation costs, the telemarketing of pay-in-advance graves, and the effects of monopolies in a death-care industry now dominated by multinational corporations. With its hard-nosed consumer activism and a satiric vision out of Evelyn Waugh's novel
The Loved One,
The American Way of Death Revisited will not fail to inform, delight, and disturb.
"Brilliant--hilarious--A must-read for anyone planning to throw a funeral in their lifetime."--New York Post
"Witty and penetrating--it speaks the truth."--The Washington Post
Customer Reviews:
Way of Death Well Worth Revisiting.......2007-05-07
I was thrilled when I found that Jessica Mitford's seminal work The American Way of Death was available once more. It is wonderful, even if a little alarming, to find that it is just as relevant in 2007 as it was when first published in 1963.
Ms Mitford, or Decca to her friends, is inspirational. She combines wit, intelligence and thorough investigation with humour to make this book informative and a joy to read. One cannot help wondering however how we as consumers have been seduced by the promise of 'eternal slumber' for so long.
It is my hope that other works such as The Trial of Dr Spock, Kind and Usual Punishment: The Prison Business and Hons and Rebels will also be revisted.
The American Way of Death should be compulsory reading for all because we will all face the death of a loved one and will have to make decisions in a vulnerable state and because her actuity will ensure you never look at anything the same way again.
REREAD AFTER LIFE EXPERIENCE.......2007-04-04
While I love Jessica Mitford's writing style, I must admit that now that I am older I can say I see the value of a nice funeral. They are for the living and I think even the lowliest life deserves memorial. However, this book does point out things to be wary about and shows the options (many available due to Ms. Mitford's first book).
Wickedly witty, wonderful, and wise.......2006-08-20
I never read the original (1963) edition of this ground-breaking expose of the "death care industry" (to use that industry's own euphemism), so I can't compare the "Revisited" (1998) edition to it. But it seems, since Mitford primarily addresses methods and practices, that much of the earlier work has been preserved. As other Amazon reviewers have noted, it can be confusing when trying to distinguish the "then" from the "now." Sometimes you simply have to guess based on the prices being discussed. But sadly, the reader can't help but realize that in most matters regarding the disposal of our dead, what was true then (the lying to customers about the "necessity" and "benefits" of enbalming; price gouging on caskets; secretive pricing and resistance to providing itemized price quotes and invoices; etc.) remains true today.
Mitford's writing is enjoyable in its own right. Her description of what happens during enbalming is downright poetic and her witty put-downs of funeral directors (who are by turns whiney, self-justifying victims and sly exploiters of the emotionally distraught). She also gives ample evidence of being an intrepid and relentless researcher; she seems to take special delight in being able to quote some of the nasty things funeral directors have said publicly about her personally.
While Mitford gives some good advice on how to plan for the disposal of a loved-one (avoid making pre-need funeral arrangements; know that most funeral homes have a "don't walk" policy which means they will come down in price if you try to walk out during the negotiations; enbalming isn't necessary or required by law; consider cremation without burial; contact your local not-for-profit funeral and memorial society), this is not "Funeral Planning for Dummies." It's more of a critique of American culture on the par with other great social activist writers of the 1960s and 70s, Vance Packard, Ralph Nader, and Tom Wolfe. Read, gasp, guffaw, and generally enjoy!
Jessica Was An Original.......2006-07-01
The late Jessica Mitford enticed me with the original "American Way of Death" in the 1960's. Her graphic description of the embalming process would later inspire me to follow in her work, as a muckracker and consumer advocate. One thing Jessica did was give me an out, if I didn't want to read about the embalming process she directed me to another page. I thought that was a great move on her part because some people just couldn't handle it.
Yes the book takes some focus and you have to want to learn about the subject matter, it's not like reading Mad Magazine. But even in death Jessica endeared herself to so many of us with her wit and wisdom. She opened my eyes, she helped start a movement and she was the inspiration for a whole new generation of muckrackers.
In every industry there are some bad apples. The funeral industry has a few of their own, but I think the point I want to make is that I am not anti funeral, just anti bad funeral director and anti greed.
I believe that Jessica simply wanted to warn us about those who do take advantage of the bereaved and she wanted to educate those of us who were curious about what goes on behind that formaldehye curtain. I, for one, am grateful for the education.
Over-written but Thought-provoking!.......2006-06-11
A verbose, over-written book. Some say the original book was great; perhaps they're right. I don't know. I've only read this one, and through each chapter I kept wishing that the writer would get to the point and lay the facts on the table. I often found myself out of patience and skimming large sections. As for the funeral industry, I came away from the book thinking that the truth is probably somewhere in the middle. Yes, they'll take you, (and some funeral homes are probably very shady) but the funeral industry is a business too, and a necessary one that not too many of us want to do. And, of course, there are some morticians who doubtlessly see the business as their calling. The book has definitely persuaded me to think carefully about a burial plan and to research the funeral homes in my area. It didn't persuade me to steer away from a pre-need plan. I disagree with the "Buy now die Poorer" philosophy. I certainly don't want to put a $6,000+ bill on my kids. At any rate, this book will make you think seriously about your final earthly bill.
Book Description
This revised edition of a cross-cultural study of rituals surrounding death has become a standard text in anthropology, sociology, and religion. Part of its fascination and success is that in understanding other people's death rituals we are able to gain a better understanding of our own. Peter Metcalf and Richard Huntington refer to a wide variety of examples from different continents and epochs. They compare the great tombs of the Berawan of Borneo and the pyramids of Egypt, or the dramas of medieval French royal funerals and the burial alive of the Dinka "masters of the spear" in the Sudan, and other burials which at first sight seem to have little in common. Many of these cases are anthropological classics, and the authors use these examples partly in order to illustrate the many different ways in which anthropologists have tried to interpret these rites. A new introduction reviews theoretical developments in the anthropological study of death since the book first appeared in 1979.
Customer Reviews:
Groundbreaking ethnographies.......2006-12-04
This is by far the most enjoyable and fascinating comparative case-studies I've read concerning treatment of the dead in Southeast Asia. I suggest this book to anyone wishing to crossculturally examine views of the deceased and the rituals associated with death. Superb, absolutely brilliant.
Raven Digitalis
Book Description
The central goal of this book is to contribute to the timely discussion and understanding of Maya sacrifice and related posthumous body manipulation. Most school children in the US learn about the Maya and their practices based on their cultural and religious beliefs in their Social Studies classes. But a number of new sites have been discovered, giving an interdisciplinary group of researchers a channel to discuss these acts and their meaning.
The editors bring together not only archaeologists but anthropologists, forensic anthropologists, art historians and bioarchaeologists, giving the volume a more complete perspective on these sites and the material culture and biological evidence found there. The field of archaeology is growing to include the physical remains of ritual practice along with the material remains and this book can be seen as an example of who the study of ancient civilizations can be more comprehensive. Additionally, this is an international volume with scholars from the area studied which is becoming more and more important in archaeological research.
Customer Reviews:
Very interesting!.......2004-09-05
This book tells it all. The book is very informative and if you are ever planning on saving with funeral costs, you must read this. You should check with your local funeral home regarding buying your own casket. They are not all as receptive as they should be to receiving your own pre-purchased one. My mother said the so true words at my fathers' funeral 14 years ago. She said to the undertaker "Boy you guys sure have a racket going!"
READ THIS BOOK!
A Book Everyone Should Read !!.......2000-12-14
This 238 page book is loaded with the facts we all need to intelligently make final arrangements for our loved ones, or pre-need for ourselves. Everyone should read this book as it guides you and makes it easier for you to make funeral arrangements. It will help you arrange for the most appropriate funeral cost-effectively, and you'll avoid the pitfalls that can occur at your time of need. Major topics include: Caskets, embalming, vaults, visiting the mortuary, memorial gardens, FTC rules, paying for the funeral, how to deal with the funeral director and more. It exposes rip-offs, and exposes some of the tactics used that can result in your spending more than is necessary. Most funeral directors are very helpful and honest at your time of need. This book will help you make the decisions that must be made. It is written by someone well experienced in the field, and is written honestly and with wit. You will gain by reading this book. It WILL help you get through a difficult period.
Very Enlightening Reading.......1999-08-25
I quite enjoyed this book. I have been interested in the funeral industry as my father was once a mortician. I believe that anyone who wants to educate themselves about the industry should read this expose.
Astonishing insight into the death care industry........1998-08-25
Profits of Death is tremendously well-written and presents important information that affects each of us at some point in our lives. No one wants to think about death, but Darryl presents his information in an empowering, yet "light" and somewhat entertaining manner. A must read for everyone! Darryl not only provides readers with insights into what goes on when you plan a funeral, but provides specific tips to prevent one from being scammed.
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