Book Description
"You can't just be the smartest. You have to be the most athletic, you have to be able to have the most fun, you have to be the prettiest, the best dressed, the nicest, the most wanted. You have to constantly be out on the town partying, and then you have to get straight As. And most of all, you have to appear to be happy." -- CJ, age seventeen High school isnt what it used to be. With record numbers of students competing fiercely to get into college, schools are no longer primarily places of learning. Theyre dog-eat-dog battlegrounds in which kids must set aside interests and passions in order to strategize over how to game the system. In this increasingly stressful environment, kids arent defined by their character or hunger for knowledge, but by often arbitrary scores and statistics. In The Overachievers, journalist Alexandra Robbins delivers a poignant, funny, riveting narrative that explores how our high-stakes educational culture has spiraled out of control. During the year of her ten-year reunion, Robbins returns to her high school, where she follows students including CJ and others: -- Julie, a track and academic star who is terrified she's making the wrong choices -- "AP" Frank, who grapples with horrifying parental pressure to succeed -- Taylor, a soccer and lacrosse captain whose ambition threatens her popular girl status -- Sam, who worries his years of overachieving will be wasted if he doesnt attend a name-brand college -- Audrey, who struggles with perfectionism, and -- The Stealth Overachiever, a mystery junior who flies under the radar. Robbins tackles hard-hitting issues such as the student and teacher cheating epidemic, over-testing, sports rage, the black market for study drugs, and a college admissions process so cutthroat that some students are driven to depression and suicide because of a B. Even the earliest years of schooling have become insanely competitive, as Robbins learned when she gained unprecedented access into the inner workings of a prestigious Manhattan kindergarten admissions office. A compelling mix of fast-paced storytelling and engrossing investigative journalism, The Overachievers aims both to calm the admissions frenzy and to expose its escalating dangers.
Customer Reviews:
Facetious.......2007-07-30
This book was chosen as a summer reading assignment for my sophomore English class. I'm not sure if my teacher realized that the main point of this book was easily guessed by a) the title and b) the cover of this book. I was very tempted to walk into English class on the first day and apologize for reading the book, but because I thought the whole point of the book was against "Overachieverism," I decided not to subscribe to that facet of American society. (Needless to say, I resisted that temptation.) I found this book yet another complaining commentary on one of America's problems. Robbins seems to blame everyone for the stress levels of these students. From parents to fellow students to teachers to the students themselves, she uses a negative voice to describe how each of these groups has contributed to "Overachieverism." I found this distasteful and was reminded of Nietzche's idea: A man is defined by his enemies, not his friends. Robbins chooses to blame these groups, rather than to explain their motives and roles in Overachieverism.
Reminisicent of Michael Moore, Robbins throws statistics at the reader about various issues that related in one way or another to the issue of "Overachieverism." She intersperses what I find to be repetitive facts with personal stories of overachievers. I admire her skill with these young people and her ability to describe their experiences in this book. However, I still find the main points of her argument facetious in light of the other issues present in schools today. All in all, although this book could be described as "interesting," I cannot help but describe it as uninteresting, distasteful, and, for the most part, irrelevant to America in this day in age.
great book.......2007-06-21
I read Robbins' Pledged and decided I wanted to read this book, just based on what it was about. After I checked it out of the library, I realized it followed students at Whitman. I am around Robbins' age (my ten yr reunion is this year) and attended a school at the lower end of the scale of the same county. I currently work at an elementary school in the county, and my mother has (and still does) teach high school in the county (at a school always competing with Whitman academically).
Anyway, with my knowledge of the county and schools in general, I knew a lot of the pressures discussed in this book, but didn't even think about the extent to which they are discussed. Robbins is a great writer and has great suggestions at the end of the book for this country to help with this "overachievism." I highly recommend reading this book to anyone, ESPECIALLY if you work in a school or have children.
An Imortant Social Issue.......2007-03-25
This is an excellent book. Robbins discusses an important social issue, the pressure towards workaholism which starts younger and younger, in the form of compelling intertwined stories of real teenagers.
So not all kids are mentioned - so what........2007-03-09
I'd like to address the professional reviewer from the Washington Post and the previous reader reviewer who criticized this for being a book about "just" the privileged and driven kids.
Not every book is about everyone and regular folks. People write books about kids whose problem stems from them being a minority or gay or not a native English speaker. They also write books about people afflicted with anorexia and those having an attention deficit disorder. No one criticized any of those books for being "overspecialized." Yes, rich kids and middle class driven kids have problems too. And stating that doesn't automatically give the general population a license to deride the subject and the driven kids' problems. I've got news for you critics. If you want to solve society's problems, you have to address everyone's problems. Perhaps a book like this in the right hands would have kept one the Kennedy's kids off of heroin or the youthfull Pres. Bush from drinking. And this is a book that will largely be bought with private money. It will not lead to a taxpayer funded "Rich Kids Problems Institute," so get over the fact that they aren't talking about average Joes' and Janes' in this book. The Washington Post reviewer implied, in my reading of her words, that if we feel something for these driven kids, we will suddenly either care less for or stop caring for the majority of middle class and poor kids. That is only true for those with no heart or judgement.
Who are a majority of bosses, elected officials, lawyers, doctors? People from prosperous homes. If a book helps their children deal with their developmental problems, the average Joe and Jane will benefit as well.
This book is for you. And you. And you...........2007-02-24
Alexandra Robbins makes a compelling case for parents and their children to reexamine success and prestige in her latest expose.
"Overachievism can be an addiction," she writes, "and our society is its enabler." The result? Students turn to drugs, self-mutilation, even suicide, as they push themselves through 20-hour-a-day schedules in order to get into "the best" colleges. The image of a hamster spinning in a wheel comes to mind, but with real human heartache and physical suffering.
The book is well researched, with international social and medical studies bolstering the author's interviews with students across the country. This dense sociological topic could make for a dry read, but in typical Robbins style, she keeps it interesting by focusing on several stars at an East Coast high school. Their stories reveal just how much pressure high school students face.
Julie, for example, is a senior taking five AP classes along with cross-country, who is losing her hair from the stress of school, internships and college applications. Taylor, a senior , worries her SAT score of 1510 won't be good enough to get her into Stanford and who knows exactly which classmates' scores were higher.
And Frank, who made it to Harvard, lived with an abusive mother who sat outside his room to make sure he didn't take study breaks. Harvard is easier for him than high school, but what will become of the younger brother he left behind?
The book concludes with lists of what can be done to remedy the problems, from delaying high school start times, limiting AP classes, eliminating college early decisions, even dropping the SATs for college admissions.
Students, she believes, should consider taking a year off from college and pare down activities, while parents should "get a life" and stop making their children's achievements their hobby.
The Overachievers offers a glimpse into what can go right, and wrong, as high school students try to prepare themselves for adulthood. It's a worthy read for all parents who want the best for their kids, but may not realize they actually are working against those goals.
Amazon.com
Let girls be girls, counsels psychologist Sharon Lamb in her provocative book The Secret Lives of Girls. "I want to be able to free girls and women to take off the shimmering costume of a femininity that equals goodness--to acknowledge all aspects of being human," she writes.
Reporting on 125 interviews with girls and women, Lamb details and normalizes the sexual play and anger expressed in the privacy of girls' bedrooms and playhouses. The result is a groundbreaking and guilt-free guide for parents and teachers to assist girls in accepting their sexual and aggressive feelings. Her portraits of girls' exuberant sexuality ("practice kissing," "I'll show you mine") and spontaneous anger (not-so-dear diary, pranks, and "cutting down") are fresh and fascinating. One particularly memorable chapter describes games of "naked Barbie" and applauds the lessons learned about becoming a sexual person rather than just a desired object.
Lamb's observations are so sharp that readers may wish the chapters offering her smart suggestions for change were longer. Some readers may be surprised and others unsettled by the vivid scenarios Lamb portrays. Still, by listening to girls and telling their stories without judgment, Lamb invites them to stop living a double life that ignores their anger and sexual feelings. She provides parents and teachers with a powerful and practical model of how to understand and nurture the hidden and genuine strengths of every girl. --Barbara Mackoff
Book Description
From playground games of "chase and kiss" to rough-and-tumble soccer games, from slumber party stripteases to romantic fantasies behind closed doors, author Sharon Lamb coaxes out girls' true stories with uncommon sensitivity and focus. The result of more than 125 fascinating interviews with pre-teens, teenagers, and adult women, The Secret Lives of Girls reveals the ways that girls use their minds and bodies for private sexual play, mischief, and hidden aggression.
To truly understand what little girls are made of, Lamb suggests, we must listen not only to what they say to us but also to what they don't say, taking into account their hidden selves and the lives that we adults don't see. Yes, girls are known to be "good," but they manage to act out in decidedly ungirlish ways and, despite many parents' fears, be the better for it. What's most remarkable about Lamb's conclusions is that we needn't join the chorus of voices deploring a "girl-poisoning" culture for damaging our daughters. Instead, Lamb finds reason to celebrate girls' resilience in the face of pressures to conform -- and she does it by listening to them and to the women they have become. The Secret Lives of Girls explores such in-depth key issues as:
Using aggression wisely -- when girls need to walk away or to settle verbally, and when to fight. Girls needn't grow up afraid of their own toughness and power.
Building self-esteem, self-respect, and the ambition to achieve -- anger and aggressive feelings can be the impetus for creative and productive work. Eighty percent of female executives of Fortune 500 companies identify as having been tomboys.
Participating in highly physical sports -- karate or boxing, or team sports like soccer -- teaches girls to feel that their bodies are competent, and that they deserve to take up space.
Recognizing daughters as sexual beings -- their love of sexy dress-up, their yearning to understand their bodies and their sensual desires.
Accepting some kinds of sexual play -- teaching the difference between fun and bullying; setting a positive and supportive tone from birth through the grade school years.
From tomboys like "Julia," who runs with the boys in the streets of New York to "Abby," who led a "naked parade," the girls who share their stories here describe a hidden but fascinating world made up of more than girlish innocence. The Secret Lives of Girls is a welcome and much-needed addition to the literature on girls' lives and culture. It celebrates girls' hidden strengths, play, and needs, and opens a door for parents that can teach them how to understand their daughters better and help them grow.
Customer Reviews:
A fascinating look at young woman in today society........2005-06-11
Sharon Lambs look into the development of today's modern woman is a fascinating account of the problems that many woman face in today's society. It does not in the same league as Rachel Simmons's ground breaking "Odd Girl Out" but it's a satisfying look into womanhood and the impact that we hold to each other.
Worth a look.
Groundbreaking Look at Normal Girls' Sexual Play.......2004-07-28
Read this wonderful book!! The Secret Lives of Girls has such an important message for parents, for society, and for helping professionals: Girls'healthy sexual curiousity starts early. Let's not be scared of girl's sexual curiousity and sexual play, because it forms the bedrock of adult women's ability to experience a feeling of sexual agency and sexual pleasure.
This book is based on interviews with 122 women (aged l8 to 70) and girls (aged 6 to 18) of very diverse ethnic backgrounds. Dr. Lamb is to be commended for her commitment to research which reflects the lives of women from all backgrounds. The narratives are compelling, powerful and enlightening--a marvelous read.
If you are looking for a simplistic, black and white view of sexuality, this book is not for you. The first part of the book, which is about two-thirds of the book, is devoted to stories of girls' secret world of sexual play and desire. The stories were quite detailed, and for me, quite magical. Lamb discovered that there was no age where girls did not have their own wishes for sexual experimentation, no period of latency.
She also discussed sexual abuse, with an important focus on how an experience can be abusive without being harmful and with examples of times where deciding whether an experience was abusive or not was far from a black and white determination.
Her discussion of sexual abuse is brave, and respectful. I disagree with another reviewer, who felt she minimized it.
If you, yourself, feel guilty about some of your childhood sex play, The Secret Lives of Girls will help you accept the normalcy of your experience. This is the most specific --and magical--discussion I have ever read of of healthy sexual experimentation among children. Some examples were unsurprising, like highly sexualized Barbie play. Others, however, were idiosyncratic, like a group game where one girl played dead and was arranged in a provocative position, and then the other children came into the room and talked about how beautiful she looked. This girl experienced the sexual thrill of being an erotic object in a very safe way.
So many girls are punished by their mothers or fathers for expressing sexual curiosity, even if all they want to know is What is a tampax? or What a kiss? Harsh or fearful parental reaction leaves them feeling that having any sexual feelings, thoughts, or questions makes them bad or dirty.
These lucky, normal girls whose stories are reported in The Secret Lives of Girls will grow up and have memories of their own evolving sexuality as an important part of who they are. They experienced themselves as having sexual feelings, sexual urges, sexual dreams.They did not have sexuality thrust upon them, as defined by another --usually male-- person, or by a society that increasingly tells girls that they must look impossibly perfect to be seen as sexual.
I have not read another book I like better on girls' developing sexuality, and I'm a diplomate in sex therapy, an author, and an expert in the development of healthy sexuality (...).
If you are curious about the development of girls into women, if you want to live in a society where women feel free to experience sexual pleasure, if you're a woman who wants to understand her own sexuality better, or if you want to be a better parent, read this book.
Aline P. Zoldbrod Ph.D.
Boston, Massachusetts
Girls young and old need to read this book.......2004-02-12
Ah yes, you may be thinking, another femenist book about how girls get the short end of the stick when it comes to sexuality and agressive behavior. But lo! That's not (entirely) what you'll find here. Yes, she does talk about how girls are more repressed than boys, especially in the agression section of the book, but mostly it's a book about realizing that girls take part in sex play and aggression, too. In many places it's a celebration of this fact, especially as Ms. Lamb reveals to the women she interviews and the readers that we are in fact "normal." The disapointment I have in this book is her lack of discussing what as an adolescent educator I should do now with this knowledge. Still an excelent read for women or for anyone in charge of raising one.
This book was disappointing..........2003-11-13
I was really looking forward to reading this book, but was disappointed both by the content and the writing. Much of the book is made up of quotes from the women that Lamb interviewed, and most of the rest of the book seems to be Lamb's own clinical interpretation of these statements. I found her clinical opinions (e.g., something about believing it is ok for girls to shut the door of the bedroom and talk to each other with the lips of their vaginas) annoying and uninformed. In my estimation, the book mentioned, but underplayed the connection between early sexuality and previous or on-going sexual abuse... sure, it may be acceptable for girls to experiment sexually with each other, but it is the job of parents and psychologists to ensure that these behaviors did not stem from abuse. No, we don't want to raise women who are ashamed of their sexuality, but turning our backs on these behaviors is not always prudent, and may even be viewed as neglectful. I would also have found this book more useful if Lamb's findings had been integrated into other published research more often than into her own personal views.
Love your daughter? READ THIS BOOK!.......2002-05-17
Sharon Lamb has written the book that amazingly has not been written up to now. Why this is so is a separate intriguing question that I answered in my own discomfort as I read Sharon's work: Our culture is still very much locked into artificially imposed views of female sexuality and aggression, and our daughters still pay the price. As an Irish-Catholic dad, I can predict that many parents will be so shocked in the first five minutes of this reading that they will angrily toss SECRET LIVES back on the shelf. If you love your daughter, don't do this. You owe her the truths about herself, truths that we may find hard to accept. Read this, and learn, especially if it makes you uneasy. Love your kid that much.
Book Description
Why do they rub food in their hair? Why do they want to hear the same book over and over? Why do they love being naked?
Between the ages of one and three, children can be delightful, affectionate, intelligent explorers of their newfound world. They can also be holy terrors. Grounded in up-to-date research, The Secret Lives of Toddlers demystifies 52 common behaviors of toddlers, while helping parents appreciate the miraculous development of their children.
An entertaining, reassuring guide to toddler behavior, this book shows parents how to get through their kids' toddlerhood with affection, humor, and authority. With explanations from pediatricians, child development experts, and behavioral psychologists, parents will learn to:
- Understand the world from a child's point of view
- Learn which bad behaviors need intervention and which can be ignored
- Cultivate good manners and reward good behavior
- Reduce their own frustration
- Play, speak, read, and interact with their toddler in healthy ways
Customer Reviews:
The best parenting book on toddlers I have ever read.......2006-07-17
This book is wonderful! As an Early Interventionist working with 0-3 year olds I was looking for a resource that was very parent friendly. This book address many of the issues parents of toddlers face and gives practical family friendly advice on how to handle it. I think parents and professionals can benefit from reading this book because it is fascinating to learn why toddlers do certain things. I loved this book!!!
The Bare Minimum.......2006-01-21
I really thought this book would have a little more backround information. Like the above reviewer I felt it was very light. I don't think I would have purchased it if I had seen it in a store and flipped through the book. The most helpful section was on hitting, but it was still basically common sense or repeats of other information I have read.
Good quick reference guide.......2005-10-06
This book provides a quick and easy reference to common toddler behaviors. It is well researched and presented in a quick and easy format. It's not an in-depth child development or behavior modification book but does provide a handy format to look up target issues, find out why your child does things in a certain way or at a certain age, and offers tips for coping with the behaviors. Sometimes just knowing the why behind something is enough for a frustrated parent.
Basically a magazine book.......2005-09-14
This book shouldn't be called a book. The information is so light weight I would classify it as a compilation of articles from parents magazine. You can find this stuff anywhere, just go to babycenter and you will get the same, if not better information. Not enlightening, unless you have done zero research. So annoyed I payed for this thing!
Informative and interesting.......2005-08-09
This book isn't rocket science... But it is a great way to gain some sanity and understanding when your toddler is driving you mad. It explains why children do what they do, and that in most cases, annoying toddler behaviors are important developmental milestones and NOT just a child being 'naughty.'
Average customer rating:
- Fantastic fun for feline fanciers!
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The Secret Lives of Cats
Val Lindahn , and
Ron Lindahn
Manufacturer: Longstreet Pr
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover
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ASIN: 1563522810 |
Customer Reviews:
Fantastic fun for feline fanciers!.......1996-07-29
Whimsical and colorful, this art book by the talented Lindahns features funny rhymes and funnier pictures of cats caught doing the things you know cats dream about. One, for example, is "skating on thin mice." Another is patiently waiting at a "fish crossing" sign. Kids and cat lovers alike will get a tremendous kick out of this book, and it's a great gift for any cat lover
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Maggots, Grubs, And More : The Secret Lives of Young Insects
Melissa Stewart
Manufacturer: Millbrook Press
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ASIN: 0761326588 |
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Perfectly Secret: The Hidden Lives of Seven Teen Girls
Manufacturer: Annick Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
Teens
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Musgrave, Susan
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ASIN: 1550378643 |
Book Description
Seven essays from the heart.
"When I was sixteen years old I had secrets, all right. But my secrets were not exactly my own; they were the secrets of others." So writes Nan Germaine in
Perfectly Secret, Susan Musgrave's fourth collection of essays written by women writers about their teenage lives.
Nan remembers the loneliness of enduring her parent's secret confessions: her mother's unhappiness and her father's infidelity. For Anita Rau Badami, a mad aunt was her hidden shame. Meanwhile, a drunken father meant Lorna Crozier could never invite her friends home. And Cathy Stonehouse, who lived her life in fragments, found her secret self threatened in a not-so-innocent game of Truth or Dare.
Heartfelt, disarmingly honest, at times painful, these essays eloquently capture the reality of adolescent life.
Perfectly Secret is a testament to the axiom that life isn't always as it appears.
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Sammy Keyes And the Dead Giveaway (Live Oak Mysteries)
Wendelin Van Draanen
Manufacturer: Live Oak Media
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Audio CD
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ASIN: 1595197699 |
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What's the Buzz?: The Secret Lives of Bees (Rain Forest Pilot) (Rain Forest Pilot)
Margery Facklam
Manufacturer: Steck-Vaughn
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ASIN: 0739822284 |
Book Description
With an entomologist escort, readers learn about tropical bees that are attracted to sweat, bees that can determine the sex of their offspring, and bees that attack in such huge numbers they can kill a horse.
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Secret Lives
Berthe Amoss
Manufacturer: Yearling
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
General
| Ages 9-12
| Children's Books
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ASIN: 0440479045
Release Date: 1981-10-15 |
Books:
- Papers Please!: Identity Documents, Permits and Authorizations of the Third Reich
- Plays by Y York: Gerald's Good Idea, the Secret Wife, and the Snowflake Avalanche
- Reckless (The It Girl, No. 3)
- Roses Are Red (Alex Cross Novels)
- Salamandastron (Redwall, Book 5)
- Secret Daughter: A Mixed-Race Daughter and the Mother Who Gave Her Away
- Shadows of Ice (WarCraft: The Sunwell Trilogy, Book 2)
- Shadows on the Koyukuk: An Alaskan Native's Life Along the River
- Shame on It All: A Novel
- Six Million Paper Clips: The Making Of A Children's Holocaust Memorial
Books Index
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Pledged: The Secret Life of Sororities
What Colleges Don't Tell You (And Other Parents Don't Want You to Know): 272 Secrets for Getting Your Kid into the Top Schools
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